The Song Of Silent Rivers
by SpecialAgentJim
Summary: When Radek Zelenka accompanies John Sheppard and his team on an offworld mission, he has a much bigger adventure than he ever expected, and makes some important discoveries about himself & others along the way. Chapter THIRTY ONE. Lost And Found.
1. An Acceptable Substitute

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**DISCLAIMER --** I do not own Stargate: Atlantis or any of the charaters. They belong to MGM and other companies. I am writing this for fun, not profit. No suing...please!

**RATING --** erm... better make this one T (again the copious bum-covering takes place)

**SPOILERS --** None in this chapter, but I'll keep you posted on them in future.

**SUMMARY --** This is a multiple-POV and multi-chapter story. It's really about the whole SGA team, but the intrepid Dr. Zelenka gets to play...offworld! This story's got a little bit of everything, I promise. Action, Drama, Romance, a bit of whumping and who knows what else? But of course there's some ZelenkaWeir cos I can't abandon my favourite 'ship.

** A/N -- **Okay. So I have an idea for a longer SGA story, and this is it. I have fits where I write a lot and then times when I don't write much at all, so if I give you a whole lot of chapters really quickly and then suddenly appear to stop, don't worry. Just keep bugging me, and I promise I will continue. Anyway, enough of that. I'd better get on with the story. Enjoy!

erm yes... no beta so blame me for any errors.

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**The Song Of Slient Rivers**

_Altissima quaeque flumina minimo sono labi.  
(The deepest rivers flow with the least sound.)_

**1. An Acceptable Substitute**

Radek Zelenka had a headache. It was the sort of dull, throbbing kind that resided just behind his eyes. Eyestrain, lack of sleep, too much caffeine; any or all of these might be the cause. He took off his glasses and pinched at the bridge of his nose with his thumb and index finger. Last night he hadn't slept well. He'd had nightmares that kept him awake in the wee hours, which was not an unusual occurrence in itself, but coupled with the fact that he'd felt achy and vaguely ill this morning when he got out of bed, did not bode well for the rest of the day.

After having breakfast in the mess hall with Elizabeth and Colonel Sheppard he'd felt somewhat better. Maybe it was the coffee had 'perked him up', as the colonel suggested. Radek secretly believed Elizabeth's presence had something to do with it. He always felt better when Elizabeth was nearby. The problem was Elizabeth wasn't here, now. Radek's only source of company at the moment was Rodney McKay, who was being decidedly less than companionable. The physicist had not stopped complaining since the second he'd set foot in the lab. Normally, Radek could tune out Rodney's whining, but then again, Rodney's whining wasn't normally punctuated by coughs and sneezes and obnoxiously loud nose-blowing.

"Is it hot in here?" Rodney asked for about the tenth time in as many minutes. "I mean, is it really hot or is it just me?"

"Is just you, Rodney," Radek said, without even looking up from his work.

"Really? You're not warm?"

"No."

Rodney sneezed and blew his nose. "Are you even listening to me? You don't look like you're paying attention."

"Of course I am paying attention. How can I not pay attention?"

"You just seem, you know, inattentive." Rodney said, and sneezed again. "Damn allergies."

Radek sighed. "Rodney."

Rodney sniffled loudly. "What?"

"Can't you do something about that?"

"About what?"

"You're probably spreading germs all over lab."

"It's just allergies. I'm not contagious."

"You say that now."

"Look, Radek, I'm not contagious! I'm not spreading germs. You're not going to get sick. Now, can you please shut up and stop bothering me? I have work to do here, in case you haven't noticed, and so do you."

Radek pressed his lips together tightly, determined not to give in to his urge to make an acerbic remark. He put down the tool he'd been using, a little less gently than he'd intended. "Rodney, your coughing and sneezing is distracting _me_. Now, you can go to Infirmary to ask Carson for something to help you, or…or you can work somewhere else."

'Hey! This is _my_ lab! If you can't stand to be here with me, then _you_ can get out."

For a moment they just stared at each other. Rodney was the first to blink, and Radek acknowledged this with a little smirk. "You are off your game, Rodney. You need something to enhance your performance."

"Enhance my—"

"Performance, yes."

"You're a miserable little man," Rodney muttered.

"Infirmary. Go."

Grumbling under his breath, Rodney turned and stomped out of the lab. Only after the doors had whispered shut behind the departing physicist did Radek allow himself to release the breath he'd been holding. Perhaps now, with a little peace and quiet, he'd make some headway on his current project. He ran a hand through his untidy hair, and turned his attention back to his task. With any luck, there would be no more annoying interruptions this morning Of course, he suspected, around here that was way too much to hope for.

-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-

Rodney McKay was still muttering when he reached the infirmary. The nerve of Radek Zelenka, chasing him out of his own lab! And these damned allergies were driving him nuts. He wondered what could possibly have caused the reaction he was having. Maybe something he'd run into on the mainland, or maybe it was dust. He'd been poking around in some previously undiscovered rooms, and they hadn't been cleaned in ten thousand years.

Rodney was startled when Carson Beckett met him almost at the Infirmary's threshold. The Scot fixed him with a curious eye, and a small smile quirked one side of his mouth upward. The doctor greeted him with, "Hullo, Rodney. You look like a man on a mission."

_Mission!_ Damn it all, he'd nearly forgotten about the mission to M4X-382. What was the matter with him today? He was astounded that he'd let something like that slip his fabulous mind. A few days ago, Rodney and his team had sent a probe through the Stargate to M4X-382. They'd learned the planet was uninhabited, but they'd also discovered a power reading that might have represented a ZPM. Elizabeth had agreed to let them go through the 'Gate and check it out for themselves, and today was the day.

"Antihistamines," Rodney said.

Carson blinked, "Excuse me?"

"I need antihistamines. For my allergies," Rodney said impatiently. A persistent tickling at the back of his throat made him cough several times. "Look, I've got things to do, so if you could—"

'How long have you had that cough?" Carson asked.

"Uh…since yesterday."

"I think I'd better check you over. I don't like the sound of that cough."

"Who _likes_ the sound of coughing?" Rodney said, trailing Carson across the infirmary. "I don't need to be checked out. I'm fine. I just need medication."

"If you need medication, you're not fine," Carson said. "Now, humour me." He removed his stethoscope from the pocket of his white clinic coat.

"I just came here for antihistamines, and…hey! Is that _really _necessary?"

"Rodney, for goodness sake, you don't need to carry on like that. I haven't even touched you."

"Yes, but you were going to. You and your…your medieval torture instruments!"

Carson raised an eyebrow at the agitated physicist. "It's a _stethoscope_, Rodney. Now, hop up here so I can have a listen to your lungs." He patted the surface of the infirmary bed. "It won't hurt a bit, I promise."

"You always say that."

"Aye."

"It always hurts."

"Come on. Do you need a hand up?"

"No. Anyway, don't I have the right to refuse medical treatment around here? I mean, I don't have to let you poke at me if I don't want to."

"No, I suppose you don't, but-"

"But what?" Rodney demanded.

"Well, I could just tell Elizabeth you're being uncooperative," Carson said.

The physician somehow managed to look completely guileless, as if reporting Rodney's recalcitrance wasn't his own idea. Rodney grunted, more from frustration than from physical effort, as he climbed awkwardly onto the tall bed. Knowing Elizabeth Weir, telling on Rodney probably _wasn't_ Carson's idea. She'd probably asked the doctor to report any misbehaviour to her.

"It's not fair, you know," Rodney complained.

"Stop talking. I won't be able to listen to your heart and lungs properly with you running on like that," Carson said. He fitted his stethoscope to his ears. Without so much as a by-your-leave, he deftly flipped up the hem of Rodney's shirt and placed the bell of the stethoscope against the physicist's skin.

Rodney let out an involuntary squeak when the smooth, cool metal touched his flesh. "Hey! That's _cold!_"

"Hush. Talking isn't helping. Take deep breaths," Carson instructed.

Seeing no way around it at that point, Rodney did as he was told. He took several deep breaths while Carson positioned the stethoscope in various spots on his back and chest. At last, Carson lowered the instrument. Rodney tugged his shirt into place with an indignant grunt. Carson frowned at him.

"What?" Rodney demanded.

"I'll need to check your ears and throat."

"Okay, if you _must_, but I'm pretty sure it's just allergies. I must've breathed something in while I was on the mainland. Right?"

"Why don't you let me make the medical diagnoses?" Carson said. He produced the hated tongue depressor, seemingly from thin air, and commanded, "Open your mouth, but don't say anything."

Rodney stuck out his tongue at Carson, which was, Rodney realized a bit too late, precisely what Carson wanted. The doctor seemed to take his time examining Rodney's throat and ears. Rodney suspected he was dawdling on purpose, prolonging the torture.

"Well?" Rodney said when Carson was finally done. "Allergic reaction?"

"It's a wee bit more serious than your garden variety allergic rhinitis, I'm afraid."

"What! What is it?"

"My best guess? You've got a viral upper respiratory tract infection."

"Viral? You mean, I've got some kind of virus? Th-that's bad, isn't it?"

"Oh, most definitely," Carson said solemnly. "It's highly contagious, too. Wouldn't want you to spread something like that around on other worlds, would we?"

"Um...no. Look, is there something you can do?"

"I'm afraid not. It's likely to get worse before it gets better. The only thing I can recommend is that you rest in your quarters and drink plenty of liquids. Now, don't you move. I'm going to fetch a thermometer, so I can take your temperature."

"But-"

Carson held up a hand. "Stay, Rodney. I'll be right back, I promise."

"Great. Just great," Rodney muttered at Carson's retreating form. Rodney flopped onto his back on the infirmary bed. Here he was, dying with some kind of viral infection and being bossed around by Carson Beckett. He couldn't go offworld. He probably wouldn't even be allowed to work. Elizabeth would send somebody else on the mission – probably Zelenka, he guessed – and there'd be the ZPM, and everyone would be congratulating John Sheppard's team for a job well done and… It was all too much to contemplate. Rodney suddenly felt excruciatingly tired. He sighed and closed his eyes. If he couldn't work in his lab and he couldn't go on the mission with his team, he didn't see any point in leaving this spot. Besides, if he was dying, the best place to be was probably the Infirmary, despite the presence of Carson Beckett, Atlantis' own Torquemada.

-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-

"Oh no. No, no, no… Is definitely out of the question!"

Dr. Radek Zelenka held up a hand in a pre-emptive gesture so reminiscent of Rodney McKay that Elizabeth had difficulty suppressing a grin. She'd been noticing lately how Rodney and Radek seemed to have gained a few new quirks from each other. She couldn't help being amused. She was sure neither of the scientists was aware he'd picked up a few uncharacteristic gestures from the other one.

"Dr. Zelenka," Elizabeth said. "You are the best person for this assignment."

Radek huffed. "Yes, of course you tell _me_ this. Does Dr, McKay know you say such things? All the time, I am hearing he is best scientist in Atlantis, and now you come to me and say I am best person for the assignment? This is, as Americans say, load of crap." He waved her away with another McKay-ish flip of his hand. "Please, I have work."

Elizabeth supposed she couldn't fault the Czech for being in an irascible mood. The man looked exhausted, and if he'd had spent the entire morning trying to work while listening to Rodney McKay's whining, Elizabeth didn't doubt he was nearly at his wits' end. Spending time away from the lab might do him a lot of good. She understood his reluctance about going offworld, but she hoped the opportunity to get away from Rodney for a little while might be motivation enough for him.

"Dr. Zelenka—"

"Where is Rodney? He left to get something for coughing and runny nose half an hour ago."

"He's in the Infirmary," said Elizabeth.

"What? For runny nose, he is in the Infirmary?" Radek audibly huffed again. "I am telling you, Dr. Weir, working with Rodney is like working with child. _Why_ is he in the infirmary?"

Elizabeth smiled. "You might want to ask Dr. Beckett about that, actually. It's a funny story, the way Carson tells it."

"I am not in the mood for funny stories," Radek said. "What you really came here to say is that you want me to accompany Colonel Sheppard and his team because Rodney cannot go. Yes?"

"Yes," Elizabeth admitted.

Radek wrung his hands in agitation. "I can't."

"I know you don't like going offworld, but this assignment is important. If we have a chance to get another ZPM—"

"Yes, yes." Radek interjected. "I understand importance of ZPM. Please don't insult my intelligence."

'

Elizabeth chose to ignore that. She said, "Colonel Sheppard and Ronon will be there with you, and so will Teyla. They wouldn't let anything happen to you."

"This brings to mind another American saying."

"Dare I ask?"

"Famous last words," said Radek. "Do I have choice?"

"I won't order you to go, if that's what you're asking."

"Who will go if I don't?"

"I suppose we'll have to send Dr. Kavanagh."

Radek mumbled something in Czech that Elizabeth didn't quite understand. He rolled his gaze toward the ceiling. "Kavanagh! That man is idiot. He couldn't find his own face in a mirror, much less ZPM on alien planet."

"Okay. No love lost there, I guess."

"One cannot lose what he never had, Dr. Weir," Radek told her. His grumpy expression suddenly melted into a rueful smile. "Look, I am very sorry. I'm being unprofessional. I would love to blame this bad mood on Rodney, on Kavanagh, but is my fault. I am a little frustrated right now, with Ancient device. No, no…with myself. This would be easier if I had ATA gene."

Elizabeth hadn't been prepared for such a long speech from the engineer. She glanced at the piece of equipment on the lab table in front of him, but she couldn't decipher exactly what it was or what Radek had been trying to do with it. The thing was the approximate size of a toaster and made of metal. She was curious about the device, but she refrained from asking anything. Instead, she said, "Maybe some time away from the lab will help you clear your head."

"Perhaps."

"If you do find a ZPM, you have no idea how thrilled everyone would be."

"Everyone except Rodney."

"But think of the implications of _that_," Elizabeth said. She knew she shouldn't be putting ideas into the engineer's head, but something in her just could not resist. Besides, if she could shake him out of his bad mood and make him smile, it was worth it. Radek Zelenka had a smile well worth the necessary effort to coax it out of hiding.

"Psychological persuasion," said Radek. He flashed her a genuine grin that made her feel like laughing out loud. "You twist my arm without ever touching me. Okay, okay. For you, Dr. Weir, I will go, but please don't make these requests a frequent occurrence."


	2. Too Close To Nature

**DISCLAIMER -- **_Stargate: Atlantis_ is not mine. This is a story for fun, not profit. Don't sue me.

** SPOILERS --** None in this chapter, but I will continue to keep you posted.

** A/N -- **Yes, this chapter is short, but I promise the next one will be longer.

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**The Song Of Silent Rivers**

**2. Too Close To Nature**

"How're you doing back there, Doc?"

"I'm all right, Colonel Sheppard," was the quiet reply.

John had to admit, he'd had his doubts when Elizabeth suggested he should bring Radek Zelenka along on the mission. The Czech was a nice guy, unquestionably smart, and easy to get along with, but John had been less worried about Zelenka's attitude and more about his stamina. Now, John found himself re-evaluating his earlier opinion of Zelenka. Seriously, he had to admire the man.

They'd been walking for an hour, though to John it felt as though they'd been marching along for ages. The air was heavy and humid, and they were all hot and tired, but unlike himself, Teyla and Ronon, Zelenka wasn't used to this sort of thing. Traipsing through some alien forest was a far cry from working in the cool, comfortable, relatively safe environment of his lab in Atlantis, but the Czech engineer had not complained once since they'd started on this trek. It was a nice change, John decided, to have a scientist along who knew how to behave himself. If it had been McKay trudging along back there, John suspected he'd have been hearing a steady stream of whining about the bugs, the humidity, sore feet and the dangers of ultraviolet radiation. Maybe he should ask to have Zelenka along more often. Without McKay's strident voice demanding attention every ten seconds, John discovered he was actually able to hear himself think. This was nice. He could get used to it.

"How about those power readings?" John inquired.

"Getting stronger," was the reply. "I'm sure we are headed in the correct direction."

"Great. Anybody feel like stopping for a water break?"

"Yes. I would like to stop," said Teyla from the rear of the line.

"Me too," Zelenka agreed.

John glanced over his shoulder at Ronon Dex. Predictably, the Satedan wasted no breath on unnecessary words. Ronon merely shrugged.

"Okay then. We'll stop here." So saying, John dropped to the ground and leaned his back against a tree. He unscrewed the cover of his canteen. While he drank, he contemplated the mission. He wondered if the power reading was really coming from a ZPM. He hoped so. They'd been so close, so many times but ultimately had to surrender to ethics because it would have been wrong to remove a ZPM from a world where the native inhabitants needed it just as much as the Atlanteans did. Maybe this world would be different. Rodney had assured them this world was uninhabited, and Rodney – in his own egotistical words – could not possibly be wrong about something like that.

-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-

Radek sat beside Colonel Sheppard, under the canopy of a tree. Nearby, Ronon was leaning against another tree and Teyla was sitting cross-legged on the ground at Ronon's feet. Radek had been surprised to discover he'd actually been enjoying the walk through the forest, though just now he was grateful for the opportunity to rest. He thought he was doing well, even though he was itchy from bug bites and seemed to be perspiring more than anyone else. Well, the others were all experienced at this sort of thing, weren't they? It stood to reason they'd be in better shape for it.

Radek drank lukewarm water from his canteen and listened to the calls of birds in the branches far above his head. Some of them might have passed for Earth birds, but others could never have been mistaken for anything but alien. Radek was fascinated by them. He was captivated by the alien flora, too. He'd been occupying himself by counting each species of flower he'd observed since their arrival on M4X-382. So far, he'd counted thirteen. He was particularly taken with a rose-like plant whose blossoms were the color of a ripe cherry. Radek had tried to pick one, and was dubiously rewarded with a thorn in his hand and an amused snort from John Sheppard. The colonel had asked who Radek was picking flowers for. Radek had stoically refused to tell him. Of course he would have given the flower to Elizabeth, but Colonel Sheppard most definitely did not need to know that. He'd tease Radek mercilessly if he knew. Colonel Sheppard would be worse than— Well, worse than Rodney.

Radek grinned when he thought about Rodney. He wondered if the Canadian regretted going to the Infirmary this morning. Most likely he did. According to Elizabeth, Carson had kept Rodney in the Infirmary for some reason. Radek wished he had sought out Carson and asked him about it. Elizabeth said it was a funny story. Radek was certain he'd hear everything when he got back, but he'd probably hear it from Rodney himself, and that would be much less enjoyable than Carson's version of events.

"Something funny, Doc?" John Sheppard's voice cut into Radek's musing.

"Hmm…? No. I was only thinking about Rodney," Radek said.

"Me too. I sure hope he was right about this planet."

"What do you mean?"

"Dr. McKay believes this planet to be uninhabited," Teyla supplied.

"And you believe him," Ronon said. It wasn't a question, but it sounded like one.

Colonel Sheppard shifted around so he could look at all of them. "Look, we all know Rodney can be a little overconfident at times – okay, a _lot_ overconfident – but I don't think he'd be wrong about this. I mean, there'd be lifesigns and evidence of civilization. Right?"

"Who says there aren't any signs of life?" said Ronon.

"I haven't seen any," the colonel said.

"Just because you don't see them, it doesn't mean they're not there, Sheppard."

"What? Have you seen—"

The sound of a snapping branch interrupted the colonel in mid-sentence. Ronon's hand went to his weapon immediately as he spun in the direction of the noise. Radek scrambled to his feet. He was aware of Teyla doing the same. From the corner of his eye, Radek thought he saw movement in the trees. Ronon must have seen it, too, because he raised his weapon in one smooth motion. Only Colonel Sheppard's raised hand prevented the Satedan from firing into the thick foliage.

Walking through this forest didn't seem so enjoyable any more. Radek's mouth suddenly felt dry despite the water he'd consumed. Rodney might have been correct about the planet not having a human population, but _something_ was definitely out there.


	3. Downstream

**DISCLAIMER -- **I do not own Stargate: Atlantis. It is owned by MGM/UA and other companies. They own the characters, too. I am writing this story because it's fun to write fanfiction. I'm not getting any money for this. No suing...please!

**SPOILERS** -- None in this chapter

**A/N** -- Here's a longer chapter for you all. I am working on the fourth chapter right now, so I should be able to post it tomorrow or early on Saturday in my time zone. I hope you are all enjoying this story so far. I'm having a lot of fun writing it. Oh...there is some whumping coming up, so if that's not your thing, you are warned. I love comments, so if you would like to give me some, there's probably chocolate in it for you.

Yep, still no beta, so you guessed it. All mistakes are mine.

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**The Song Of Silent Rivers **

**3. Downstream  
**

Radek had the uneasy feeling that he and his teammates were being watched not by something, but by _somebody_. Rodney had said the planet was uninhabited, and they hadn't seen any evidence of civilization, but still...

Radek couldn't help thinking of the stories his uncle had told him when he was a boy, about all the ghosts that wandered the streets of his native Prague. Listening to Uncle Jaromir's stories had been intriguing. Sometimes when Radek walked with his cousin Dusana through the streets of the Mala Strana, he liked to imagine he saw the ghosts from his uncle's stories drifting like smoke in the shadow of an alley, a barely-there movement viewed from the corner of his eye. He never really believed in them, of course. Uncle Jaromir's tales were the urban legends of Prague, doubtless told by a thousand other uncles to as many wide-eyed little boys. _Harmless fun_, Radek's uncle had said, and it was fun when Radek's surroundings had been the familiar streets of home. Uncle Jaromir had never been to an alien world in another galaxy, though, where things were not always as they seemed. Perhaps the Prague ghosts wre make-believe, the stories about them told just for fun, but in this place so far-removed from Earth, who could really say what legends might prove to be true? Atlantis, after all, was supposed to have been a legend, too.

That line of thought made Radek shiver a little, despite the day's heat. He made himself concentrate on something else. The power reading they had been following was stronger than ever, and he guessed they were very close to its source. He decided to mention it to Colonel Sheppard.

"That's great," said the colonel, and then a moment later amended, "Ah, crap!"

"What?" Radek said.

Radek hadn't been paying much attention to his surroundings since they'd started walking again. He'd just been trudging along, single file between the colonel and Teyla, keeping an eye on his scanner. Now, he looked up to see what might have elicited such an outburst from Sheppard.

"_That_'s what." The colonel was pointing straight in front of him, and Radek saw what he should have noticed several minutes before. Several meters ahead was a deep ravine. The distinct sound of rushing water came from it. Sheppard groaned. "Nothing's ever simple, is it?"

"Life would get too boring if things were simple," was Ronon's comment.

"I do not think we can cross this," said Teyla.

"Let's not jump to conclusions too quickly, okay?" Sheppard said. "I don't know about you, but I wouldn't want to have walked all this way, only to find out we can't get at whatever's giving off those power readings. Let's check this out. Maybe there'll be a safe place to cross, further downstream."

-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-

John believed in luck. With the lifestyle he lived, especially here in the Pegasus galaxy, he had to be a believer. Lucky breaks had played a key role in saving his ass far too often for him to be a pessimist, but even so, he refused to let himself swing all the way into blind optimism. Sometimes good things were just too good to be true. Finding a bridge over a river on an uninhabited planet, John guessed, was most likely one of those things.

They'd only walked a short distance downstream before they'd discovered it. John had seen countless bridges similar to it on Earth, and he'd even seen a few on other worlds. This was a swinging bridge constructed of rough wood and suspended over the river with ropes that appeared to be made of some kind of tough, twisted vines. Building this thing had taken more than a little human ingenuity and intelligence. So much for Rodney's theory. Still, it was weird that no life signs other than their own registered on the life-signs detector. John shrugged.

"What do you think, Ronon?" John asked.

"People built this," said the Satedan, and John marvelled at his grasp of the obvious.

"You think any of those people might still be around? I'd hate to get shot for trespassing."

"If there are people here, they don't use this bridge," Ronon said. "There's no sign that anybody's been here in a while."

"Well, somebody had to have been living here at some point. Somebody built this bridge."

"That means McKay was wrong about this place being uninhabited."

"Not necessarily," John said. "It might be uninhabited _now_."

Nobody had to ask what he meant by that. They all knew why inhabited planets in the Pegasus galaxy became uninhabited, and nobody liked to talk about it. The Wraith were hated and feared among the people of the Pegasus galaxy, and the accounts of their culling of worlds was enough to send tremors along nearly anyone's spine. If this world had already been culled by the Wraith, then that would explain a lot. John pushed the thought away. The death of so many innocent people, even hypothetically speaking, was too gruesome to contemplate. He made himself bring his mind back to his team's immediate circumstances.

John judged the risk of crossing the bridge to be an acceptable one. They were here to explore, and unless they crossed, they'd be restricted to exploring this side of the river. That might have been interesting, but it'd be unproductive, seeing the source of the power readings were probably on the other side. John stepped closer to the bridge so he could get a better look. The water flowed along beneath it. John wouldn't have classified this part of the river as particularly rapid or dangerous, but the current was moving along swiftly enough that he thought it might be fun to go downstream in a canoe.

John caught Zelenka eyeing both him and the gently swaying bridge. The Czech was swallowing nervously. He said, "Is safe to cross, do you think?"

"Sure," John said after a few more seconds of consideration. "I'd say it's been here a while, but it looks pretty good to me. Ronon?"

The Satedan sized up the bridge with a critical eye. "Looks okay."

"Okay, then we're good," John said. Decision made, he announced, "I'll go first."

"No, I'll go first," sad Ronon. "If it holds my weight, it'll hold any one of you."

"Fine, then. Ronon, you can go first, then the doc and Teyla, and then me."

"Fine," Ronon said, and without any fanfare or warning, he stepped onto the bridge.

John watched the Satedan with amazement. Ronon actually jogged across the bridge, agile and incredibly light on his feet despite his mass and size. When he reached the far side, he turned and gestured for the others to join him.

John glanced at the other members of his team. He nodded at Zelenka. "Okay, Doc. You're up."

The engineer looked terrified, but to his credit he said nothing as he stepped onto the bridge. Once again, John found himself admiring the Czech. Zelenka obviously didn't like heights and he had a self-admitted fear of water, yet here he was, lips pressed together in a grim determined line, trying to cross a swinging bridge over a small but swift river. That took guts. If it had been McKay out here, the Canadian would probably have been wailing like a scared kid right now, and John wouldn't know whether to laugh or yell at him. With Zelenka, there was no question in John's mind about what to do. Once the engineer made it across the bridge, John Sheppard was going to insist everyone give him a round of applause.

-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-

Radek had gone slightly less than halfway across when he stopped. His mistake, he realized, was looking down. The swaying motion of the bridge made him feel sick to his stomach and his brief glimpse of the rushing water below him made him terrifyingly dizzy. He knew his knuckles must be white from clutching the twisted vine ropes that served -- inadequately in his estimation -- as supports for anyone crossing the bridge. He tried to calm his breathing. The situation was bad enough. Hyperventilating certainly wouldn't improve anything.

Hey, Doc. You okay?" Sheppard's voice said from somewhere behind him.

How to answer that question, Radek thought. He most definitely wasn't okay. He knew the question Colonel Sheppard was really asking was, _can you cross the bridge_? He turned his eyes to focus on his goal, but now all he seemed able to see was the river. The sound of the current seemed unnaturally loud. It roared in his ears and drowned out the frantic beating of his own heart.

"No...no I am not okay," he said, unsure if he had spoken aloud or if he'd just heard the words in his head.

'Stay where you are, Dr. Zelenka," said Teyla. "Do not worry. I will come to you. We will cross together."

Radek risked taking one hand from the rope and turning slightly so he could see the Athosian woman. She smiled encouragingly at him as she stepped onto the bridge.

"Teyla, I don't think that's such a good idea," Sheppard said.

"Do you think the bridge will not support our combined weight?"

'No, but I think you might--"

Radek didn't get to hear what the colonel thought. He barely had time to realize Teyla's weight on the bridge made it swing in a way he hadn't been prepared for. Half-turned and with only one hand on the rope railing, the shift in motion promptly overbalanced him and he felt himself beginning to fall. For one heart-stopping second, he felt as though he was hanging in midair and then gravity snagged him and pulled him down toward the river. The last thing he heard before the water closed over him were the united voices of Teyla and Colonel Sheppard, shouting his name.

-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-

"Zelenka!" John yelled. "Zelenka, hang on! We'll get you!"

John hadn't really thought about _how_ they were going to get the engineer out of the water, but he didn't have the luxury of taking the time to form an elaborate plan. Even as he shouted, he was dropping his P-90 and shedding his backpack. He scrambled down the steep embankment to the water's edge, aware of Ronon doing the same thing on the farther shore. Small stones rolled and tumbled beneath John's boots. He fell and skidded the last few metres on his back. It took him less than a second to regain his feet, and he ran along parallel to the course of the river.

"Zelenka!" he bellowed again.

He'd seen the engineer's tawny-haired head break the surface once, only to go under again. Zelenka hadn't seemed to be struggling at all, which made John worry. John knew Zelenka didn't know how to swim, but even so, John thought he should have been trying to get out of the water. John was concerned that the Czech might be unconscious. If that was the case, Zelenka could drown before John or Ronon ever reached him. They needed to hurry.

Without stopping to consider the advisability of his actions, John started to pull off his boots.

Above him, Teyla called out, "Colonel Sheppard! What are you doing?"

"I'm going in!" John said. "I want you to head back to the 'Gate. Contact Atlantis and tell them what's going on. We'll be right behind you."

John didn't even wait to see if she'd obey him. He took several deep, oxygen-rich breaths and then, steeling himself for what he was about to do, he plunged into the water.

-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-

Amid the frenzy of activity at the river's edge, no one noticed a silent witness, watching from the covering shelter of the trees.

**TBC**

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**A/N #2 -- **A cliff-hanger? Oops... did I do that? Well, I guess you'll just have to watch this space for the next bit, won't you? On a totally unrelated note, I'm getting a puppy for my birthday! I know, I'm probably too old to be _this_ excited about my birthday, especially considering it isn't until the end of September, but yaahhh! I'm getting a PUPPY! dances Now, please leave me some comments, please...? puppy eyes hehe.


	4. The River Spirit

**DISCLAIMER – ** I do not own _Stargate: Atlantis_. It belongs to MGM/UA. This story is for enjoyment, not profit.

**SPOILERS – **None in this chapter that I'm aware of

**RATING **– See the note at the beginning of Chapter One

**A/N – **Any large blocks of narration that are in present tense and _italicized_ are flashback scenes (in case it isn't immediately obvious. lol)

I speak a couple of languages fluently (and a couple of dead ones semi-fluently) but Czech is not among them. There's a tiny snippet of Czech in this chapter. Please forgive any mistakes

Still no beta. All mistakes are all mine.

* * *

**The Song Of Silent Rivers**

**4. The River Spirit**

_"Come on, Radek! Jump in! I dare you!"_

_Eight-year-old Radek Zelenka worries his lip with his teeth as he watches his best friend swimming in the deep end. Miroslav Dvorak -- Mirek to his family and close friends -- is fearless and loves to take risks. Today, Radek's older cousin has brought Radek, Mirek and Radek's five-year-old sister Milena to play in the public swimming pool. Radek is content enough to splash around with little Milena in the shallow end, but Mirek says this is boring. He thinks it's more fun to dive into the deep end of the pool and glide around underwater. Radek looks around and sees Cousin Dušana talking to a pair of teenage boys. Maybe it'll be okay if he jumps in, just once. It does look fun, and Mirek makes it seem easy. Besides, Mirek has _dared_ him, and even at his age, his ego has already matured enough to make it next to impossible for him to refuse the challenge of a dare._

_"Stay right here, Milena, and don't move," he says to his sister._

_Milena's little hands swirl the water idly around her. Her blue-green eyes are wide and curious. "Why?"_

_"Because," Radek answers impatiently._

_"Because _why_, Radek?" Milena persists._

_"Radek, are you going to jump in or not?" Mirek calls. _

_"I'm going to play in the deep end with Mirek," Radek tells Milena. "Stay here until I come back." _

_"What if I don't want to?"_

_"I'll tell Cousin Dušana."_

_Milena folds her arms and juts her chin. "Well, _I'm_ going to tell Cousin Dušana you're bossing me around." _

_"I'm allowed to boss you. I'm the big brother."_

_Milena sticks out her tongue at him. She chants, "Bossy, bossy, bossy!" _

_"Stop that," Radek says sternly. _

_"Or what?"_

_"Stop it, or I'll...I'll drown you."_

_He scrambles out of the shallow end and goes to join Mirek, with Milena's shrill voice shouting after him, "You're a mean brother, Radek Zelenka! When we get home, I'm telling Father!" _

_Mirek glances at Radek and rolls his eyes. Mirek understands. He has a little sister called Jirina, who is three years old. Mirek always says his sister Jirina is a nuisance. Radek disagrees. He thinks little Jirina is pretty and sweet, though he would never admit as much to Mirek. It's his own sister who's a nuisance. _

_Mirek surveys the pool. "This water is over our heads," he announces. He says it with relish. "It might even be as deep as the ocean."_

_Neither Radek nor Mirek has ever seen the ocean before, though Radek has read books at the library about sea turtles and whales. Mirek doesn't like to read. He'd rather play soldiers than learn about things he's never seen, so Radek doesn't bother to point out the pool can't possibly be as deep as the ocean. Some parts of the ocean are thousands of metres deep. This pool is only two and a half metres deep, but it does seem like an awful lot of water, just the same. _

_"You go first," Radek says._

_"Are you scared?" says Mirek._

_"No. I just want to see how you do it."_

_Mirek nods his agreement. He steps back several paces. With a running start, he flings himself into the water. There's a tremendous splash, and then a few seconds later, Mirek's head pops out of the water and he's laughing. Mirek says, "Okay, Radek. It's your turn." _

_All of a sudden, Radek feels as though his belly is full of butterflies. He has to jump in before he gets too scared. He runs toward the edge of the pool, shuts his eyes, and leaps. _

_The surface of the water feels as solid as ice when he hits it. The air explodes from his lungs, and he gasps and breathes in water. A full second goes by before he realizes he is sinking. He tries to yell, but only succeeds in inhaling more water that makes his nose and throat and lungs burn. He fights to reach the surface, but now he isn't sure where the surface is. Far away, strangely altered by the water in Radek's ears, a voice very like Milena's is screaming his name. Then, someone catches hold of him with strong, slender arms around his middle. He struggles a little, but the person's grip tightens around him and another water-distorted voice tells him everything is going to be okay. _

_It seems like an eternity passes, but at last he is finally out of the water and safe. He doesn't care what anyone thinks or who might be around to see. He presses his face against Cousin Dušana's shoulder and sobs. _

-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x

The slient watcher was visible, now. She had been watching the strangers ever since they arrived, shadowing them through the forest, unseen. Many seasons had passed since she had last seen any like them. She had followed them all the way to the river and then had watched with avid curiosity to see what they would do. When the light-haired one had fallen into the water, his two friends had jumped in after him, so she knew they were loyal and brave, if just a little foolish. They would never reach him by joining him in the current. The silent watcher was more agile than the men, and she knew the river better. If anyone was going to rescue the man who had fallen in, she would have to be the one.

She knew she could catch him at the place where the river became quieter. She did not know why the river flowed more gently in that place, but she thought she remembered a story about it. She could recall few details, but she knew it had something to do with sand. The river became sleepy and slow when it flowed over sand. She ran swiftly to the sandy place where the banks of the river were smooth and the water was sleepy.

She waded into the water. Her alert gaze missed nothing. When she saw the light hair of the stranger break the surface of the water, she knew she had acted rightly in running so fast. She reached out her arms to catch hold of the stranger as the river carried him past her.

He was much heavier than he looked. It took a great deal of effort to pull him from the river and onto the sandy bank, and she was soaked from head to toe herself when she'd gotten him completely out of the water at last. She spared little thought for her own state. She lowered her head to the stranger's chest. She was weak with relief when she felt the steady beating of his heart. He was still alive. She had acted in time. A memory of her father's teachings prompted her to turn the stranger onto his side, and so she did. The man began to gasp, and cough up water.

With trembling fingers, the watcher stroked the man's forehead, brushing tendrils of wet hair away from his eyes. How like her own hair it was, the colour of honey. She wished he would awaken. She did not want to leave him until he opened his eyes, but she knew she couldn't stay. The others would come soon, and she didn't want to be seen here.

A moment passed before she realized the stranger was crying. Perhaps he was frightened? She could not have blamed him if he had been. He'd very nearly drowned. Carefully, she brushed away his tears with her thumbs, and then he opened his eyes. She was enchanted by their colour, which was a striking greenish-blue. She did not know why, but she had expected them to be brown like her own.

The man's lips moved, forming a word the watcher did not understand. Perhaps it was the name of one of his friends? She could not stay to find out. She got to her feet and headed for the trees. By the time the others came, it would be as if she had never been there at all.

-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-

When he awakened, Radek didn't know where he was. His head and chest hurt, and he couldn't remember what had happened to cause the pain. He was lying on something very rough and unyielding, and there was the sound of rushing water nearby. The pool? He'd been dreaming about the pool, but somehow that didn't seem right. He was lying on his side, he realized. Perhaps it would be better if he were lying on his back. He didn't know how difficult accomplishing it would be, but he needed to try. He attempted to roll over, but the pain in his chest increased exponentially with the effort. He heard a cry that he hardly recognized as coming from himself. He knew he shouldn't panic, but he felt his heart rate speed up. He couldn't help it. He was frightened - injured and frightened - a fact pointless to deny. He could not remember how he'd arrived in this place and he didn't know what he should do.

_Think, Radek. Call for help_, he told himself. _If you call out, someone will come and help you._

He took a deep breath, readying himself to try his voice. The action sent a bayonet of pain through his chest that brought an assault of coloured spots behind his eyelids. He exhaled the air from his lungs again in a long, audible wet-sounding hiss. Moisture trickled from the edge of one eye and created a warm, damp streak as it made its inexorable way down the side of his face.

_Soldiers don't cry._

The phrase came unbidden from the depths of his memory. Somebody had said it to him once, a long time ago. He hadn't believed it; nevertheless, he had replayed the words over and over in his head, as if repetition might render them true after all. _ Vojáci nikdy plakat._ _Soldiers don't cry. _

But he wasn't a soldier, not any more. When the country he now called the Czech Republic had still been part of Czechoslovakia, and the army conscripted fresh-faced boys on the threshold of manhood, the Party had said they were soldiers. No matter what the Party chose to call him, Radek had never been a soldier in his heart. He hated the weight of a weapon in his hands and the even greater weight of terror that the weapon gave him the capacity to take a human life. He had never comprehended real dread until the day the notice of his conscription came. The summons had arrived three days after his eighteenth birthday. He'd thought circumstances could never be worse than that, but he'd learned differently. Every day after the summons was a nightmare far greater than the one that had preceded it.

_Soldiers don't cry._

Jirina. It was Jirina who had said those words to him. His little angel, his sweet Jirina in all her innocence had unwittingly crushed his already breaking heart. He remembered her face, the way she had gazed at him with such adoration and faith, such…_hero-worship_ in her expression. She was only a child. She did not understand. Her older brother Mirek was proud to become a soldier. Why shouldn't Radek be proud, too? Radek couldn't tell her he believed there was no honour in forcing people to bend to the will of the State. He'd wanted to say he saw nothing noble about indoctrinating naïve boys in the deadly arts of war and calling it a patriotic duty. Jirina was an idealistic little girl. Radek's words wouldn't have been taken as wisdom, but as cowardice, and the last thing Radek would have wanted was to appear a coward in Jirina's eyes.

Jirina was the sister of Radek's best friend, and five years Radek's junior. He had thought of Jirina in much the same way he thought of his own sister, Milena, as someone he wanted to nurture and protect. No matter how annoying Mirek insisted she was, Radek had always refused to let him exclude Jirina from their adventures. Radek liked to teach Jirina new things and he liked to listen to her talk of her plans and ideas. He'd tried never to be impatient or cross with her, and for that he had been rewarded with her devotion and her trust. She was bright and beautiful and full of life. Without ever meaning to, Radek had let her capture his heart, and even though he knew how futile it was, he had loved her. His feelings for Jirina weren't romantic, of course, but somewhere in the secret depths of his consciousness, he had yearned for them to have a romance some day when they were older.

The morning he and Mirek had left for the army, Milena and Jirina had accompanied them to the train. Radek had longed to tell Jirina innumerable things, but he'd been unable to produce most of the words he wanted her to hear. He'd hugged her and told her he would miss her. He'd told her to be good, and that he would write to her sometimes, when he was permitted. He'd been unable to hide his tears when he'd leaned in to place a brotherly kiss on her forehead and say goodbye.

_You must be brave, Radek. Soldiers don't cry._

Radek wished he could have been as courageous as Jirina was, and as brave as she expected him to be. He regretted not being able to say the words he wanted to say, but they'd been stuck right behind the lump in his throat.

_I love you, Jirina. I hope you don't change too much as you grow up. I promise I'll wait for you, as long as it takes._

Part of him was still waiting. He'd left a piece of his soul in a train station in Prague and he'd never been able to reclaim it because without the benefit of foresight he'd given it to the wrong person for safekeeping. While Radek had been formed in the image of a soldier and an engineer by the Czechoslovakian army, Jirina had been formed in another image entirely. She'd fallen in love with someone else; a man so unlike Radek in his thinking and temperament that Radek wondered what Jirina ever saw in him at all. He couldn't help imagining whether things would have turned out differently if only he'd had the courage to say everything he'd wanted to on that fated morning when he'd boarded the train. Perhaps he would be greeted each morning by Jirina's smile. Perhaps she would dry his tears with her fingers when he woke in the night from a bad dream.

It was no use, he told himself. This was the bad dream. He was inside it, trapped, unable to wake. More warm tears slipped down his face from beneath his closed eyelids. He thought about Colonel Sheppard and the others. Colonel Sheppard promised no one would ever be left behind. Radek could believe they were looking for him now. It was harder to convince himself they would find him. He wished he could remember what had happened. His last clear recollection was the sight of the dark river coming up to meet him and swallow him. Through the ringing in his ears, he'd thought he heard Teyla calling his name. After that, his vision had gone dark, and now he was here.

He listened, straining to catch a familiar sound. He thought he heard the faint hum of insects, but he couldn't be sure. After a moment of intense concentration, he heard something else…_someone_ else. Radek sensed the presence of someone very near to him, and he tensed involuntarily. He felt something soft and cool touch his face. A hand? Yes. Small fingers trembled like nervous birds as they stroked the tears from his cheek.

Radek dared to open his eyes. The image that confronted him made him gasp and then groan as pain spiked in his chest. He coughed twice and finally managed to get a word past his lips.

He whispered, "Jirina...?"

In his mind he knew it wasn't her. Jirina Dvorak was light years away in another galaxy. The face of the woman in front of him was very much like her, though, with wild, tawny hair and large brown eyes. This woman peered at him with such intensity, Radek felt as though she might be looking straight into him. He lowered his eyelids, just for a second, to break the strange woman's intent gaze.

When he opened his eyes again, she was gone.

**TBC**

**--------------------**

**A/N #2 --** Well, off to work for me... I hope you all enjoyed this chapter. I will post the next one probably tomorrow. Oh...and today the breeder is sending me some puppy pictures! yaahhhh! Still very excited here. So, once I get some pics, I might post a link to show off.


	5. Through The Gate

**DISCLAIMER – **I do not own _Stargate: Atlantis_. It is owned by MGM/UA and associated companies. I am writing this story purely for the enjoyment of myself and others. No money is involved in any way.

**RATING – **The whole story is rated T. In this chapter there is some swearing, so I thought I'd better mention the rating again.

**SPOILERS – **Again, none that I'm aware of.

**A/N – **Well, I have no notes for this chapter, really. I'd just like to say a gigantic thank you to everyone who left me comments for Chapter 4. Seems like it was a popular chapter! Anyway, I hope you will like this chapter, too.

You guessed it… still no beta.

* * *

**The Song Of Silent Rivers **

**5. Through The Gate  
**

John splashed out of the water and clambered up the riverbank, wondering what the hell he'd been thinking when he'd decided to jump in. He pushed his fingers through his wet hair, frustrated at his own momentary lapse of common sense. He should have known he'd never reach Zelenka that way. The current had very nearly overpowered him, too, and he'd had to swim like hell to reach the shore again. Several metres further downstream, Ronon came ashore and shook the water off himself like a dog. John would have laughed at the Satedan's actions under better circumstances, but he couldn't bring himself to be amused by anything right now. He jogged toward Ronon.

"Refreshing swim," was the Satedan's comment.

"If you say so," John said. As he tried to wring some of the moisture out of his shirt, he scanned the riverbank for any sign of Zelenka. "So, what now?"

Ronon didn't reply right away. John noticed Ronon was looking around, but he wasn't concentrating on the shore. He was peering at the tree line. John couldn't figure out why Ronon might be looking in that direction until the big man raised a hand and pointed. "There," he said.

John let his gaze follow Ronon's pointing finger, and then he spied a patch of blue amid the green foliage. John didn't hesitate. He hurried toward the spot, calling the engineer's name as he went. Ronon was right behind him.

John's heart was racing from the swim downstream and the stress and the huge rush of adrenaline in his system. Running didn't make it any better. He guessed the shock and relief at finding Zelenka not only alive, but also conscious, was what really brought him to his knees on the ground. He noticed vaguely that his hand was trembling when he reached out to touch Zelenka's shoulder.

"Thank God," was the only thing John could manage to say.

John had imagined himself having to tell Elizabeth the engineer had drowned, falling from a bridge into a river, on John's watch. _God, that'd be an awful scene_, he thought. He felt bad enough now, because he was supposed to have been protecting Zelenka, not letting him get hurt. He couldn't even contemplate how guilty he would feel if Zelenka had perished in the river. Elizabeth would surely never forgive him, and he knew he wouldn't be able to forgive himself. As it was, Elizabeth would be upset. Elizabeth cared about every single person in Atlantis and took it to heart when anything happened to one of them, but John suspected she had a particular soft spot for Radek Zelenka. She'd never admit it – well, she'd never admit it to John, at any rate – but John wasn't as dense as he led everyone to believe, and he noticed little things she said and did in Zelenka's presence. Probably nothing would ever come of it, but John didn't want to be the one responsible for pre-empting anything that might've happened by being a negligent team leader.

"Colonel…?" Zelenka's voice was barely above a whisper, but it managed to cut through John's frantic thoughts.

"Yeah. Yeah, it's me," John said. "You okay, Doc? You had us worried, you know."

"Thought you drowned," Ronon added laconically from where he stood nearby. "Anything broken?"

The engineer peered at John as if he might have been having trouble believing John was really there. It took John a full two seconds to realize Zelenka was probably having trouble seeing clearly without his glasses. Another few seconds passed before John remembered what he needed to do.

"Dr. Zelenka," John said. "Can you move?"

"Y-yes," was the faint reply. Zelenka tried to roll over slowly, but only succeeded in flopping onto his back. He let out a sound that John could only interpret as pain. He coughed spasmodically and finally managed. "Help…sit."

"Sure, if you think that'll help," John said. He lifted Zelenka bodily into a sitting position. "Do you remember what happened? Remember where you are?"

Zelenka shook his head slightly and then closed his eyes. He mumbled something John didn't understand. Probably speaking Czech, John guessed. This wasn't a good sign. Zelenka's inability to remember anything most likely meant he had a concussion, which was never good, especially when it happened an hour's hike from the Stargate on an alien world.

They had to get back to the 'Gate, and the sooner they got there, the better. He doubted Zelenka could make it on foot. John sighed. There was nothing for it. They'd just have to take turns carrying him. John glanced at Ronon

It was uncanny how Ronon seemed to know exactly what John was thinking. The big man strode over to them and crouched beside Zelenka. He said, "Dr. Zelenka, we're going to take you back to the 'Gate. You okay with being carried?"

Zelenka just nodded feebly, as if he didn't care whether he was carried back to the 'Gate or left right where he was. John decided to take the nod as assent. He got to his feet. He watched as Ronon manoeuvred the engineer over his broad shoulder in a credible fireman's lift.

"Okay," John said. "Let's get the hell out of here and go home."

-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-

The watcher knew she should leave the strangers alone. Every instinct told her this would be the right thing to do, and most of the time she knew she ought to trust her instincts. Her innate knowledge kept her alive. Still, she reasoned, she was not an animal. She could have her own thoughts and act on them if she wished.

She crouched in the shadow of a tree and studied the two companions of the man whom she'd rescued from the river. The biggest stranger moved like a forest cat, all smooth muscles and breeze-light feet. His eyes reminded her of the forest cats' eyes, too. The big man seemed feral, and she imagined she saw death to his enemies written in his entire demeanour. The other man had black hair. Slick and glistening with river water, it reminded the watcher of the wings of carrion birds. His face was lean and angular like a hawk's face. The watcher would have been afraid of him if she hadn't seen his eyes. The black-haired stranger's eyes were the colour of the soft moss that grew on the shady side of the trees. Her father's eyes had been like that. Sometimes she could not recall her father's face, but she always remembered his eyes.

Neither of the two bigger men held the watcher's interest as much as the one she had pulled from the water. He was different than his companions, smaller and seemingly frail. The two bigger ones were warriors, the watcher decided, but the man with the honey-coloured hair and unusual blue-green eyes was not. Perhaps he was a poet. A long time ago she had seen other poets, watched them caress the strings of their instruments and shape the words of their stories by the coppery glow of a fading fire. She tried to imagine this strange poet on his homeworld. The people of his village would be grateful he had not been taken away by the river. Perhaps he would make a story about what had happened here, and all of his village would know the watcher had saved him.

The watcher felt an odd hollowness in her chest at the thought of the strange poet's return to his own village. She was happy that she'd been able to help him, but part of her did not want him to go away. She had been alone for many seasons. She wanted to be near the strange poet, even if it was just for a little while.

The biggest man lifted the strange poet in an odd fashion, so that the upper part of the smaller man's body hung upside-down over the larger man's shoulder. The watcher thought the two warriors ought to be gentler with the small man, but perhaps things were done differently on their world than the way things had always been done on this one. The black-haired man led the way and the three strangers headed in the direction of the bridge.

Ignoring the warnings of her subconscious, the watcher made up her mind. She would follow the three strangers again and see where they went.

-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-

"It's harassment! Psychological abuse, that's what it is! I'd even go so far as to say it's malpractice, if you can even classify what that voodoo witchdoctor does as a legitimate scientific practice. I'm telling you, Elizabeth, something has to be done, and I want—"

Just at the moment, Elizabeth Weir didn't care what Rodney McKay wanted. He'd been trailing her all over Atlantis, ever since he'd left the Infirmary, and he had done nothing but complain the entire time. Elizabeth was tempted to tell the man to shut up. She refrained from giving in to that particular temptation, opting instead for the more diplomatic,

She said, "You know, Rodney, you bring a lot of trouble on yourself."

"What! I do not!" the Canadian bleated. "That charlatan told me I had a virus."

"And so you do."

"Yes, but it's not _deadly_. He made me think it was deadly."

_If you keep bothering me, the end result might be deadly_, Elizabeth wanted to say. She could feel a tension headache coming on. "Rodney, aren't you supposed to be resting in your quarters?"

"He made me think I was about to die a slow, painful death from some highly contagious virus, and it turns out I've just got a chest cold. A _chest cold!_ If we were back on Earth, I'd so be talking to a lawyer right now."

"But we're not on Earth, are we?"

"But if we were—"

"Rodney—"

"Don't you think it's irresponsible of Carson to just—"

"Rodney!"

"What?" Rodney said.

"I remember reading somewhere that a chest cold can develop into pneumonia if it isn't properly treated," Elizabeth said. She felt a hand-in-the-cookie-jar kind of guilty pleasure when she told him this. She knew it was bad, but she also knew she'd get away with it. Besides which, the result was bound to be interesting.

Rodney's face blanched. He said worriedly, "Really?"

"Really, but you can ask Carson about it, if you don't believe me."

"People die from pneumonia."

"Yes, I think they do, sometimes."

"What should I do?"

"Why don't you try going back to your quarters and getting some rest?" Elizabeth suggested. "That _is_ what Carson told you to do, isn't it?"

"Um...yes, but—"

"Rodney, go. I promise, if anyone needs you, we'll let you know."

"You'll need me," Rodney predicted. "You think you don't, but you always do."

"I don't need you at the moment, so you can feel free to go, _please_…"

Rodney didn't say anything in response to that. He just made and inarticulate growl followed by a cough, and turned away. For a few seconds, Elizabeth stood and watched him trudge down the corridor. Satisfied that he might actually be going to his quarters this time, Elizabeth started toward her office. She hadn't gone three steps when she heard the the last thing in two galaxies that she wanted to hear.

"_Unscheduled offworld activation!_"

In no time, Rodney was at Elizabeth's side once again, and the two of them were running to the control room. The Canadian technician, Sergeant Campbell, looked up when Rodney and Elizabeth entered the control centre of Atlantis. The familiar blue ripples of the Stargate's event horizon glowed behind the force field.

"Dr Weir, I'm receiving an IDC," Sergeant Campbell said. 'It's Teyla."

"Deactivate the shield," Elizabeth said.

The shield disappeared at a keyed-in command from Campbell. A moment later there was the sound of radio static and then a voice. "Come in, Atlantis. This is Teyla."

"Teyla, this is Dr. Weir," Elizabeth answered the disembodied voice of the Athosian woman. "We hear you. What's going on? We didn't expect to hear from you so soon."

"Dr. Weir, there has been…an accident," Teyla said. Her voice was solemn. "Colonel Sheppard sent me back to the Stargate to make contact with you."

Elizabeth felt her breath catch. "What kind of accident?" she said. She tried and failed to keep the anxiety out of her voice. "Teyla, what happened?"

She listened quietly while Teyla explained everything that had taken place on M4x-382. Elizabeth's mind painted gruesome worst-case scenarios in front of her mind's eye. She didn't want to think about what might be lurking in the forests of that planet, and she especially didn't want to consider the possibility that one of her people may have drowned. She felt like crying when she imagined Radek in the water, and prayed to the gods of two galaxies that John would bring him back safe and sound. She wanted them all back safely.

Teyla finished her narrative with, "Colonel Sheppard told me to wait. He said they would not be too far behind me. We will all return to Atlantis as soon as they arrive here."

"Yes," Elizabeth said. It took all the self-control she had to prevent her voice from shaking. "I'll see all four of you, very soon."

Elizabeth felt someone touch her arm. She glanced sideways and saw that the hand on her forearm belonged to Rodney. The reassuring smile he offered her was unconvincing, but even so, she appreciated the gesture and the sentiment. _There's a fine example of irony_, she thought. Not ten minutes ago, she had been trying to get rid of Rodney for a while. Now, she was infinitely thankful he was beside her.

-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-

The hike back to the 'Gate felt like the longest hour of John Sheppard's entire life. John hadn't wanted to waste any time, but at Ronon's suggestion they'd returned to the bridge for their boots and weapons and John's backpack. In the end, John saw the logic in the Satedan's suggestion. It wouldn't do them any good if they went' traipsing back to the 'Gate in bare feet and managed to step on a poisionous thorn or a venomous insect on the way. At some point during their trek, Zelenka stopped responding to the occasional questions John kept asking him. Maybe it was better for the engineer to be unconscious for a while, John thought. The poor guy might not mind the awkwardness of being carried if he wasn't aware Ronon and John were taking turns carrying him.

When they finally reached the Stargate, John felt like cheering, and he probably would have if he'd had enough breath. John lowered the unconscious engineer to the ground as Teyla sprinted toward them.

"John, Ronon, are you well?" Teyla asked.

"Yeah, we're good," John said.

"And Dr. Zelenka?"

"Not so good, but once we get him home, Carson will know what to do."

"Then we must get him home immediately," Teyla said.

"I couldn't agree more," John said. "Dial Atlantis, and we're outta here."

Teyla nodded and ran to dial the 'Gate.

-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-

The watcher had never seen the Gate of the Ancestors open before. She stared, captivated, as the portal came to life. It looked like water rippling on the surface of a pond, only this pond was suspended sideways. The watcher wanted to touch it. She wanted to follow the three strange men and the strange woman through the 'Gate and discover where it led. She remembered a story about the City of the Ancestors being on the other side of the 'Gate, and she wondered if the tale was true.

The woman with the bronze-coloured skin stepped into the upright pool and disappeared. The man who walked like a forest cat was next, and he vanished as well. The black-haired man lifted the small light-haired one. The watcher knew they would step through the 'Gate and disappear, too.

Without even stopping to consider what might happen, the watcher dashed from her hiding place as fast as her feet would carry her. She ran straight toward the Gate of the Ancestors and plunged through the substance that looked like water just a breath and a heartbeat behind the last two strangers.

**TBC**

**--------------------**

**A/N #2 – **I have puppy pictures! And now I know which one of the pups is my little Grace. Woohoo!


	6. Safe At Home

**DISCLAIMER – **I do not own _Stargate: Atlantis_. It belongs to MGM/UA and associated companies. I am writing this story for fun, not profit.

**RATING –** This story is rated T (just to err on the side of caution.)

**SPOILERS –** None in this chapter, though there's a reference to "The Seige" and if you spot it, there's a chocolate cookie in it for you!

**A/N –** Any narrative blocks that are in present tense and _italicized_ are flashback scenes.

As I said in the notes of a previous chapter, I speak a few languages, but Czech isn't one of them. This chapter has a few snippets of Czech, so I apologize in advance for my poor grammar. I've provided translations at the end of the chapter, though I think the meanings will be contextually evident when you read it.

All mistakes are mine, cos I still have no beta. :P

* * *

**The Song of Slient Rivers**

**6. Safe At Home**

The watcher came through the 'Gate into a world the like of which she had never seen before. There were people…people _everywhere. _She hadn't seen so many people in one place for many seasons, and she was frightened and excited all at once. There were objects and machines, too, and the people were using them for…what? The watcher had only seen objects that compared to these in one place before, and that was the secret place of the Ancestors on her own homeworld. Not many of her people had ever known about the Ancestors' secret place, but the watcher's father had taken her there. It was because of the Ancestors hidden monument that she had survived. She'd found one small treasure, the first time she'd gone there with her father. When he saw that she had the power within her to make it work, he had allowed her to keep the small thing. She was very glad she had it now, for it might help her to survive in this strange new world, too.

She wore her treasure on a cord around her neck, so she would always have it with her. Now, she caught herself stroking her thumb across the surface of her small treasure from the Ancestors. She often did this to comfort herself, for the memory of finding the object she wore as a necklace made her think of her father. Her thumb passed over the engraved writing. The word etched on the treasure was 'concealed', and so the watcher was when she opened the little object and thought about being hidden. She must stay concealed in this place, she told herself. This was not a time to ignore her instincts. The people around her were people she did not know, and she dared not trust them yet.

The watcher observed a dark-haired woman running to meet those that had come through the Gate of the Ancestors. Two men were with her, and one of them went straight to the stranger who'd fallen in the river. The dark-haired woman looked distraught, as if she might weep, but the watcher sensed the dark-haired woman was strong. She would not weep in front of the others, no matter how much she wanted to. The watcher thought the dark-haired woman must be a leader among the people of this peculiar village. All the men around her seemed to jump to do her bidding. The watcher admired her. A strong woman able to command the respect of men was a worthy person indeed.

The leader addressed the ones who had come through the 'Gate. The watcher did not understand their words, but at the moment, this did not matter to her. What concerned her now was that one of the people was taking away the man the watcher had saved from drowning. The watcher felt an odd tugging sensation that felt like fingers around her heart. She did not want the man to be taken to where she could not see him.

Gathering her courage, she followed.

-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-

It took every bit of will power in Elizabeth Weir's possession to keep her from running after Carson as he left the control room with Radek. She told herself sternly that there would be time to go to the Infirmary later. The last thing Carson and his staff needed just now was Elizabeth getting in the way of their work. Besides, Elizabeth had other things to attend to before she could satisfy her own personal interests. She surveyed the remaining three members of the offworld team. They looked a bit worse for wear, and John was scratching industriously at some bug bites on his arm, but no one else seemed to be hurt.

"I guess we don't have to tell you we didn't find a ZPM," John said.

"Yet," Ronon added.

"I'm just relieved all of you returned to Atlantis safely," said Elizabeth. "I'm glad you were able to rescue Dr. Zelenka and make it back here."

"About that," John said. "We didn't exactly rescue the doc. He was already out of the water when we found him. Haven't got a clue how he managed to climb out by himself, but it's lucky for him that he did."

"Yes," said Elizabeth, because she couldn't think of anything else to say. She let her gaze take in all of the team members. "Why don't the three of you get cleaned up? John, go and see the Infirmary staff about those bites on your arm, too, all right? We'll meet in one hour, and you can tell me everything that happened."

-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-

"_Scaredy-cat, scaredy cat! Radek is a scaredy-cat!" _

_Six-year-old Milena Zelenka chants in a singsong voice, hands on hips, as she stands in the middle of the field. Radek wants to deny his sister's accusation, but he can't. He's nine years old, much too grown up to be afraid of what might be inside an old abandoned barn, but the truth is, he really is nervous. His grandmother had warned the children not to enter the barn, and she wouldn't have said such a thing without reason. Nevertheless, Milena seems determined to defy their grandmother's words. _

"_Why do you want to go into the stupid barn, anyway?" Radek says to his sister._

"_It's not stupid!" says Milena. "It'll be fun. We might see a ghost."_

"_Ghosts don't go into barns."_

"_How do you know?" _

"_All the ghosts are in the city, haunting all the castles and the Mala Strana," Radek says. "Let's think of something else to do, okay?"_

"_No," says Milena. "There's nothing else to do, anyway. You just don't want to go in because you're scared. Scaredy-cat!" _

"_I am not a scaredy-cat," Radek says, but he knows Milena doesn't believe him._

_Radek sits in the grass. He hates being sent to stay with his grandmother in the country. He misses playing games with his friends, Alexander and Mirek and little Jirina. He misses going to the library with Mother, listening to Uncle Jaromir's stories at bedtime, and going ghost-hunting in the Mala Strana at dusk with Cousin Dušana. Here at his grandmother's house, no one tells him stories and his only playmate is Milena. Grandmother is too old to play games with them or take them places, and Radek would never ask his Uncle Viktor to take him anywhere. Viktor is the kind of grown-up who seems to think it's funny to embarrass children and make them feel stupid. Radek doesn't like him. Secretly, Radek believes Uncle Viktor is the one who's stupid. Uncle Viktor cannot read and he doesn't do any work, and he does still live with his mother, after all. _

_Radek watches a butterfly come to rest on a nearby wildflower. Sometimes he wishes he could be like the insect and fly away from anything that annoyed him or frightened him. Maybe if he could fly, he'd go as far as the ocean and see what it looks like. Then, he could go to the mountains and see what they look like, too. After that, he would fly to Prague, straight to his room in his own house. Radek stretches out his hand slowly toward the butterfly. He holds his breath and tries to keep still. Usually, the pretty insects flutter away when Radek reaches for them, but this one seems brave. It leaves the wildflower and lights on Radek's finger, just for a second. Its tiny wings quiver, and then it flies away. Radek sighs. He wants to go home. _

_Nearby, Milena is hopping up and down. She says, "You can't just sit there all day."_

'_I can if I want to," says Radek. _

"_That's no fun. Let's see what's in the barn."_

"_No, Milena, we can't. Babička said we aren't allowed."_

"_Grandmothers don't know everything," Milena asserts. "Come on."_

"_But—"_

"_Come _on_, Radek! You're such a baby," says Milena. Her tone is scornful and impatient. "I'll bet if Mirek was here, _he_ would go." _

_Radek is sure Mirek would go into the barn, too. Mirek has a particular talent for doing things he's not really supposed to do. Radek gets up and brushes loose bits of grass from his clothes. Maybe he should go into the barn. All he has to do is step inside the door. He tells himself he doesn't have to go all the way in. Maybe Milena will be satisfied with that, and she'll leave Radek alone so he can look for interesting bugs and plants to draw pictures of. _

_He says, "If I go into the barn, will you promise to stop bothering me for the rest of the day?" _

"_I'm not bothering you. You're bothering me," Milena says. She grabs his hand and drags him in the direction of the falling-down barn. "Let's go."_

_Radek lets her pull him along to the door of the old structure. He tries to see inside without actually stepping across the threshold. The windows were boarded up long ago, and the only light comes from cracks in the walls. All Radek can see are shadows and strange shapes. He thinks he hears something moving, but he doesn't have time to figure out what it is. Milena tugs hard on his hand and draws him into the darkness. _

_A spider's web brushes against his face, and Radek gasps, startled. Milena giggles. There's another small scuffling noise, like something moving in a far corner. Milena lets go of Radek's hand, and just as she does, something large leaps from the darkness with a horrible roar. Arms bulging with corded muscle grip Radek around the middle and squeeze tight. Radek yells. He beats at the monster with his fists and shouts frantically._

"_Let go of me! Leave me alone!"_

_Behind him, he hears Milena's shrill laughter. She thinks it's funny. Her voice is sharp and mocking. "Scaredy-cat, scaredy-cat! It's only Uncle Viktor."_

_Uncle Viktor is laughing, too. "Silly little boy," he says. _

_Radek squirms out of his uncle's grasp. He turns and runs from the barn, back into the sunshine. He doesn't stop running until he reaches the safety of his grandmother's house. He dashes through the front door and pounds up the stairs to the spare bedroom where he wriggles under the bed and lies on his stomach with his cheek pressed against the cool floor. _

_He closes his eyes and wishes with all his might that Father would come for him and take him back to Prague. _

-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-

"You've got to stop fighting me, Radek. I cannot help you this way!"

Carson Beckett's voice was sharp-edged with frustration and concern. For once, the doctor wasn't helping. That much was obvious to Elizabeth, the moment she entered the infirmary and spied Carson trying to catch the hands of Radek Zelenka, who in turn was attempting to fend off the Scot with defensive motions that looked more feeble than intimidating. It wasn't Radek's movements that alarmed Elizabeth. The noise of his breathing was the thing that threatened to make her own throat constrict. Radek sounded like he was choking, gasping for breath. Along with struggling for air he was mumbling in his native language.

Elizabeth spoke five languages fluently. At the moment she wished one of those five were Czech. Still, she understood enough of Radek's native language to catch the essence of what he was saying. He kept repeating one phrase in particular. Even if she hadn't comprehended the actual words, she would have grasped the meaning from Radek's tone. _Leave me alone! Don't touch me!_

"Carson," Elizabeth said aloud.

The doctor turned. He shot Elizabeth an exasperated look. "Dr. Weir. I've got my hands a wee bit too full to spare the time to brief you just now."

"I can see your problem."

"Can you, really? Do you know what it's like trying to treat someone who keeps fighting you off? I need to examine him, and I really need to get him started on oxygen. I could help him if he'd just let me, but the poor lad won't even allow me to touch him."

"Carson, he's scared," Elizabeth said. "Let me try talking to him."

"Aye, of course. See what you can do," Carson said. He moved back, making room for Elizabeth, but his alert gaze never left his patient.

Elizabeth stepped up to the bed where the struggling engineer lay. She leaned in close to him and said quietly but firmly. "Dr. Zelenka? Radek, it's Elizabeth. Can you understand what I'm saying to you?"

Almost immediately, he stopped squirming on the bed, and he lowered his hands to his chest. His breathing didn't seem to come any easier, but his desperate gasping faded to a ragged whimper. "Elizabeth?"

"Yes, I'm right here. Dr. Beckett is here, too. He wants to help you, but you have to cooperate and stop fighting him. You have to speak English to him, Radek, because he doesn't understand Czech. Can you do that?"

English, yes. But—" He lapsed into a fit of coughing that left him trembling and more white-faced than ever. "_Působi bolest až k dýchat!_ Elizabeth…please…"

"I know it hurts to breathe." Elizabeth pushed down the wave of guilt and anxiety that threatened to overwhelm her when she looked into Radek's eyes. He hadn't wanted to go on this mission, but he'd done so because she'd asked him to, and now he was hurt. Elizabeth brushed errant locks of light brown hair away from the engineer's forehead. She said, "Will you let Carson help you?"

"Y-yes."

"That's better," Elizabeth said softly. She patted Radek's hand. "I'll stay right here."

"Okay."

Carson moved to the engineer's side, looking relieved that he could finally approach his patient to begin examining him. He said, "Radek, do you know where you are?"

"Atlantis?" Radek whispered. "Thank God..._Atlantis..."_

"Yes, Radek, you're in Atlantis," said Elizabeth. "You're home and you're safe."

-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-

_Atlantis_. Yes, that's where he was, safe in Atlantis. Elizabeth was here. Her voice had broken through the confused haze of his dreams to reach him. She'd stroked his head and told him everything would be all right, and he'd felt her small, cool hand on his hand. He knew Carson was here as well, taking care of him. Elizabeth had said so. Radek lay still and didn't struggle any more, because Elizabeth had asked him not to. He was sure he'd try to do anything Elizabeth asked, even though it was hard and he was afraid. Elizabeth talked to him while Carson worked. Radek didn't try to answer her. He just listened. He whimpered once, when Carson pierced his skin with a needle, but Elizabeth soothed him with the most melodious nonsense he'd ever heard. He liked Elizabeth's voice, even if he didn't quite know what she was saying a the moment.

Radek was vaguely aware that his bed was inclined so that he was nearly sitting up. That helped. Small tube in the nose…that helped as well. Whatever Carson had done to him, it was working, Radek decided. It still hurt him to inhale too deeply, but at least he no longer had to make his body fight for each breath. With increased oxygen flowing through his system, he became slightly more alert. His grasp on consciousness wasn't so tenuous any more. With that realization came the ability to devote a little of his attention to what Carson and Elizabeth were actually saying.

"…concerned with respiratory complications," Carson's voice declared. "He's got quite a few bumps and bruises, including bruised ribs. He has a concussion, too, and that worries me."

"He's going to be all right, though, isn't he?" Elizabeth sounded anxious.

'I'm going to keep him here as long as I feel it's medically necessary," Carson said. "I'm sure he'll make a full recovery, but I want to keep a close eye on him in the meantime."

"Can I… Would it be appropriate if I came back later and visited?"

Radek could hear the compassion in Carson's voice. "Of course you can, love. I'm sure he'd appreciate visits from his friends."

"Thank you."

"You know this isn't your fault, don't you? It could've happened to anyone in the same circumstances."

"He didn't want to go, Carson. I…I believe he went because he thought I wanted him to."

Elizabeth's voice was barely above a whisper, and Radek thought she might be crying. He concentrated on his fingers, on tightening his grip on her hand. He wanted to tell her that he didn't blame her. Carson was right. It could just as easily been Teyla who'd fallen, or Colonel Sheppard. They all took risks when they went offworld. Just staying in Atlantis could even be a risk sometimes. _Don't blame yourself, Elizabeth, please_, he wanted to say.

For a moment, Radek wondered if he'd spoken the words aloud or if they'd just been there in his head. He had his answer when Elizabeth squeezed his hand and whispered, "I promise, I won't let anything like this happen to you ever again."

Then there was Carson's voice again, still compassionate, but firm. "I think it's best that we let him rest now, Elizabeth. He can have visitors later."

"All right," Elizabeth said, but she sounded reluctant.

Radek focussed all his energy on curling his fingers more tightly around Elizabeth's. He didn't want her to go just yet. There was one thing he needed to ask, and he concentrated hard to remember what it was. A picture of a girl with sandy hair came into his mind. Yes, that was it. He needed to ask about the girl.

"Jirina…_kde_…where is she?" he said.

"Who's Jirina?" Elizabeth sounded puzzled.

"She was…with me."

"On the planet?" said Elizabeth. "Colonel Sheppard said you were alone when he and Ronon found you."

"Elizabeth," Carson said. "Let him rest, now. He's a wee bit muddled at the moment. You'll be able to talk to him when he's stronger and more alert."

-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-

Elizabeth understood that she shouldn't stay, but the look in Radek's eyes when she'd slipped her fingers out of his grasp was nearly enough to make her ignore her better judgment. She didn't want to leave him when he so obviously needed reassurance and comfort. She had to remind herself that she had other concerns. She had all of Atlantis to worry about, and she could not let her personal feelings interfere with her duties, no matter how much she might want to. Carson had told her she could come back later, so that's what she would do. She would debrief John and his team, and then she would return to the Infirmary.

She was just about to leave when she heard someone's voice calling her over the radio.

"Dr. Weir?"

Elizabeth touched her earpiece. "This is Weir. Go ahead."

"Ma'am, this is Major Lorne. We've got a little problem here. Colonel Sheppard thinks you should come down."

"Are you in the control room?"

"Just outside the 'jumper bay, actually, ma'am."

"What's the problem, Major?"

"Uh…well, this is going to sound weird, but it seems like somebody might have followed the colonel and his team on the return trip through the 'Gate," came Lorne's response. "We have an intruder in the city."

"Major Lorne, how is that even _possible_? I didn't see anyone other than Colonel Sheppard's team come through the gate, did you?"

"No, ma'am. I can't explain it," Lorne said.

"Okay. I'll be right there," Elizabeth said. She glanced at Carson and the nearly-asleep Radek. "I have to go, but I'll be back later. Keep me in the loop, all right?"

"Of course," Carson said.

Radek's eyelids fluttered briefly. "Elizabeth…?"

Elizabeth let her fingers brush against the back of Radek's hand. She smiled at him. "Don't tell me. I _am_ the loop."

"Yes. You are, yes."

"Go to sleep. Carson's here with you, and I'll come and look in on you in a few hours."

Radek said nothing, but he obediently closed his eyes again.

Satisfied that Radek was in good hands with Carson, Elizabeth left the infirmary and headed for the jumper bay at a brisk jog.

**TBC**

**--------------------**

_Babička – _Grandmother  
_Působi bolest až k dýchat –_ It hurts to breathe.  
_kde_ – where

**A/N #2 –** I hope you enjoyed this chapter. The next one will be up soon as well. Um yes... I know I said I'd show off some pics of Grace, but I can't do that, because URLs don't seem to want to show up properly. My apologies! I so wanted to share...


	7. The River Spirit In Atlantis

**DISCLAIMER – **_Stargate: Atlantis_ belongs to MGM/UA and associated companies, not to me. I am writing this for fun not money.

**RATING – **This story is rated T

**SPOILERS – **None that I'm aware of.

**A/N – **Well, here's a really long chapter for those of you who like long chapters. I've got a few Czech words in this chapter too. Translations are at the end.

Any narrative blocks written in present tense and _italicized_ are flashback scenes.

I'm about to go all McCoy-esque on you and state for the record that I'm a lawyer not a doctor, and therefore know nothing about medicine. If my version of Carson Beckett sounds like he doesn't know exactly what he's talking about, blame it on me! No other notes, really. Thanks to everyone who replied to the last chapter. You guys are awesome!

Still beta-less.

* * *

**The Song Of Silent Rivers**

**7. The River Spirit In Atlantis**

The watcher was terrified.

For a while, she had been following the strange man in the white garment who was taking away the one the watcher had rescued. She had intended to go with them until they reached their final destination, but she had been overcome by curiosity on the way. So much about this place was unusual and new to her, and she wanted to look at everything. Once, she'd stopped to read some of the Ancestors' writing on the wall. When she looked up again, the two strangers had disappeared around a corner and out of her field of view. She'd tried to get her bearings after that, and had put her hand on the wall.

When the wall turned out to be a door and began to slide open, the watcher became so startled that she momentarily forgot to concentrate on remaining concealed. It was in that brief time that the man appeared. He'd taken one look at her, and lunged to grab her. Another man appeared and touched a device on his ear. Soon, the large room began to fill with people.

The man who'd captured the watcher was much stronger than she. He held her tightly and no matter how she struggled, she could not escape. This, she thought grimly, might be the place where she died. She cursed her own curious nature and wished she had trusted her instinct to stay on her own world. She doubted even the spirit of her father and all the Ancestors could protect her now.

-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-

When Elizabeth got to the 'jumper bay, one of the most bizarre sights she'd ever seen met her eyes. There were at least a dozen soldiers in the room, including Colonel Sheppard and Major Lorne. She noticed a few of the Marines had their weapons out. The subject of all this commotion was being held tight in the arms of a burly Marine with a bristling auburn crew cut and a determined expression.

"Colonel Sheppard! Major Lorne! What's going on?" Elizabeth demanded.

"We've apprehended the intruder, ma'am," Lorne said, as he came to attention. "What would you like us to do with her?"

Major Lorne's 'intruder' was a young woman with unruly light brown hair and large brown eyes. Elizabeth guessed the woman couldn't possibly be any older than nineteen or twenty. She was clothed in a ragged dress and a belt that held a knife and a small bag, but she wasn't wearing any shoes. The young woman seemed wild, and she reminded Elizabeth vaguely of Ronon Dex. The glaring difference between the girl and Ronon, other than the obvious discrepancy of gender and size, was that the girl looked positively frightened to death, an emotion Elizabeth suspected was completely foreign to Ronon. The girl was trying as hard as she could to get free of the grip Master Sergeant O'Connor had on her. Elizabeth couldn't help staring.

"Who is she?" Elizabeth asked.

"Unknown, ma'am," said Lorne. "She's not Athosian, and we figure the only way she could've gotten into the city is through the Stargate."

"Nobody saw her come through the Stargate," Elizabeth pointed out. "Are you saying she came from M4X-382?"

"She couldn't have," John interjected. "That planet is supposed to be uninhabited, and we didn't see any recent signs of civilization. I mean, I know we were in a bit of a hurry to get back here, but I'm pretty sure we would've noticed her coming through the 'Gate with us. Anyway, we would have picked up something on the life signs detector if she'd been on the planet. Right?"

Elizabeth approached the woman. She said, "Who are you? Can you tell us how you got here?"

The woman glared at Elizabeth and said nothing.

"She's not going to tell you, Elizabeth," John said. "Lorne and I already asked."

"She might feel more inclined to talk, later," Elizabeth said. "Sergeant O'Connor, I want you and Major Lorne to take our…guest to some suitable quarters, and keep a close eye on her."

"Understood," Lorne said. He glanced at O'Connor. "Okay, Ryan. You heard the lady."

"Yes, sir," said O'Connor. He tried to manoeuvre the girl into a position where he could walk and still keep her secured. The girl wriggled in his grasp. She clawed at him, and when he tried to adjust his hold on her, she sunk her teeth into the flesh of his forearm.

O'Connor yelped and immediately let go. Before anyone could react, the girl slipped past Elizabeth and Colonel Sheppard, and sprinted out of the 'jumper bay.

"Find her," Elizabeth commanded the soldiers.

-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-

_Concealed._

The watcher crouched in a corner, and stroked the Ancient writing on her necklace. She had managed to get away from the man who'd grabbed her, and afterwards she had run as fast as she could. All the time she ran, she thought only of concealing herself. By the time she stopped, she realized she hadn't been paying enough attention to her surroundings. Now, she was completely lost.

She hadn't wanted to weep since she'd been a very young child, but she felt like weeping now. These strangers wanted to hurt her. She was sure they wanted to make her their prisoner. She did not want to be a prisoner, because she knew prisoners were tortured and eaten. The death of a prisoner was slow and painful. The watcher wanted to live.

She had to find the man she had saved from the river. He would help her. If he was honourable, he would have no choice. She had preserved his life, and he owed her no less than to preserve hers. She hated the idea of having to bargain with him this way, but what choice did she have?

Slowly, she got to her feet. Her legs and back felt stiff from being curled into the corner. The floors and walls of this place were cold and hard, not warm and comfortable like the grasses and trees of her world. She had no idea how long she'd been running and hiding, but it felt like an eternity to her. She could not see the sky, and she did not know if it was day or night. She rubbed at an ache in her leg and tried to decide in which direction she should go. Making up her mind at last, she began walking.

She peeked through dozens of doorways before she finally saw the man from the river. He was in an odd, white room, and he was in bed. At least, the watcher thought it was a bed. It was nothing like the cot she remembered from her own childhood, but there was a pillow beneath the man's head and a blanket over his body. The beds were peculiar on this world, she decided, just like everything else. Cautiously, the watcher entered the room and approached the bed. The man was asleep. She observed the steady rise and fall of his chest.

Some impulse made her want to touch him, and she reached out with tentative fingers to stroke his cheek just as she had done beside the river on her world. In his sleep, the man turned his face toward the caress. The watcher's heart beat faster when she saw the man's lips part slightly, but he only smiled and went on sleeping. Not knowing what possessed her to do so, the watcher climbed onto the bed beside the man. She lay next to him and rested her head on his chest.

Reassured by the beating of his heart, she too allowed herself to drift into the place of dreams.

-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-

_Radek is glad to be back in Prague. He's glad to be away from the country and his grandmother's house and his horrible Uncle Viktor. School starts in another week, and Radek is happy about that, too. He likes school. His mother teases him and says he isn't the same as other nine-year-old boys, most of whom would do anything to get out of going to school. Mother's teasing is good-natured, though. Radek knows she's pleased that he likes school. He always tells her he's going to be an engineer when he grows up, and he's going to build things like airplanes and radios. He says he might travel to other countries, too. Maybe he'll even go to America. His cousin Dušana says if Radek goes to America when he grows up, he has to take her with him. Radek would love that. Cousin Dušana is one of his favourite people in the whole world. She's sixteen and she's practically a grown-up, but she always treats Radek like an equal. She never thinks he's silly. She likes ghost stories as much as Radek does, and one of their favourite things to do together is to go ghost-hunting in the Mala Strana. That's another reason why Radek is glad to be back in Prague. All the most interesting ghosts are in Prague. _

_This is a beautiful August afternoon. It's not too warm and there isn't a cloud in the sky. Radek is walking down the sidewalk with his sister Milena, his friend Mirek and Mirek's four-year-old sister Jirina. They're on their way to play games at the house of another friend. Radek thinks the afternoon would be perfect if only Mirek would stop complaining about having to watch his little sister. _

_Mirek doesn't want Jirina around. He says she's in the way. Sometimes Jirina does get in the way, but Radek doesn't see how that could possibly be true today. The more players they have in their game, the better it will be. Jirina isn't very good at a lot of games, but that doesn't matter. To Radek, games are for having fun. He doesn't care who's the best player and it doesn't really make a difference who wins. Mirek, of course, doesn't see it this way. _

"_Jirina, for the _millionth_ time, you can't come!" Mirek is saying now. "Stop following us." _

"_Why can't I come?" Jirina says. She's practically running to keep up with the rest of them. _

"_Because we're going to Alexander and Tatiana's house to play 'capture the flag'. You're too little for that game," Mirek says._

"_I am not!" Jirina shouts. "I'll tell Mother you won't let me play with you."_

_Mirek stops and turns around to face Jirina. Radek and Milena stop, too. Mirek fixes Jirina with a defiant look, and says, "Go ahead. Tell her." _

"_Why can't she come, Mirek?" Radek says. "If's not fair to tell her she can't play with us. Anyway, your mother said you have to watch her this afternoon." _

"_Mother is punishing me. This is my punishment."_

"_I'm telling Mother you said that, Mirek!" Jirina wails. "I'm telling—"_

"_Shut up, Jirina! You're not going to tell Mother anything!" Mirek yells. He pushes his little sister away, hard. Jirina catches the heel of her shoe on the edge of the sidewalk. She topples over and lands on her bottom. Immediately, she begins to cry. _

_Radek is furious. He can feel heat rushing over his face. He glares at Mirek, and for the first time in his life he wants to start a fight. He's sure his anger makes him strong enough to win any battle right now. He says to Mirek, "Why did you do that? She wasn't hurting you." _

"_She's a nuisance," says Mirek. _

"_She is not!" Radek says. _

"_Yes, she is." Milena cannot leave well enough alone, and has to insert her own opinion. "She's a cry-baby and she's a big pain in the neck."_

"You're_ a pain in the neck," Radek tells his sister._

_Milena sticks out her tongue at him. "If I'm a pain in the neck, then you're a bigger one." She puts her hands in the pockets of her skirt and turns away from him. She says,. "Come on, Mirek. Let's go. Radek can stay here with the cry-baby if he wants to."_

_Mirek says nothing. He runs after Milena in the direction of Tatiana and Alexander's house. Radek kneels on the sidewalk beside Jirina, who is still crying. He puts his arms around her and pulls her in close to himself. He whispers, "Are you okay?"_

"_Mirek is mean," Jirina sniffles._

"_I know," Radek says. "Do you want to go back to my house? I can show you the feathers I found when I was at Babička's house, or we can look at some of Uncle Jaromir's books." _

"_I want to see the feathers," she says. _

"_All right," he agrees._

_He gets up and holds out his hand to her. She takes the offered hand, and they start down the sidewalk together. When they reach Radek's house, Cousin Dušana gives them milk and cookies, and then they look at Radek's collection of feathers. Jirina thinks the feathers are pretty. She asks Radek what kinds of birds the feathers came from, and he tells her the ones that he knows. He says he'll have to ask Father or Uncle Jaromir about the others. _

_Afterwards they go to the backyard and sit in the shade under the gnarled old tree. Radek tells Jirina the tree has been there since Babička was a little girl. It's a good climbing-tree, and Radek loves to perch in the branches. He can see most of the houses on his street if he climbs high enough. Today, though, he's content to stay on the ground. Jirina is too little to climb and he doesn't want her to hurt herself. _

_Jirina leans against his side. "Tell me a story," she says. _

"_How about a ghost story? Uncle Jaromir told me one about the ghost of a fat man who wanders around the Mala Strana after dark. Dušana says maybe we'll see him next time we go walking."_

"_No." Jirina clings to him and rests her head on his shoulder. "I don't like ghost stories. They're too scary. Tell me a _nice_ story, Radek." _

"_All right," Radek says. He tries to think of a tale that doesn't involve ghosts, but those are the ones he likes the best, and he discovers they're the only ones he really remembers. He decides he'll have to make one up. It'll probably be terribly silly, but he's sure Jirina won't care. He takes a deep breath and begins, "Once upon a time there was a princess who lived in a big castle, which was not haunted by any ghosts." _

"_What was her name?" Jirina asks. _

"_Her name was Jirina," Radek says. "Princess Jirina, and she was the most beautiful princess in all of Europe and all the princes and knights wanted to marry her." _

"_Did the princes and knights have names?"_

"_Of course they did. Everyone's got a name."_

"_Well, what were the knights called?" _

"_I don't know. There were a bunch of brave knights all over the place. The princess said she would promise to marry the one who could kill the dragon that kept coming around her castle and scaring her."_

"_What was the dragon's name?"_

_In a rare flash of vindictiveness Radek says, "The dragon's name was Mirek. All the knights wanted to marry the princess, but only one of them was willing to challenge Mirek the Dragon." _

"_I know what _his_ name was," says Jirina. _

"_Do you?"_

"_Uh-huh." _

"_Well, what was his name, then?"_

_Jirina tilts her head so she can whisper in his ear, "His name was Radek." _

-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-

Carson Beckett couldn't say it hadn't been an eventful day, first with Colonel Sheppard's team returning with an injured member, and then with Sergeant O'Connor being bitten by the intruder. Carson shook his head. The Marines still hadn't found their mysterious visitor, the last he'd heard. Well, he was sure the Marines would catch the person eventually. Carson was too busy with taking care of his patients and writing reports to join in the search himself, but that wasn't his job anyway. The Marines, he was sure, could handle it.

Carson was in his office, working on the aforementioned reports when he thought he heard a noise in the main part of the infirmary. The only patient actually staying in the Infirmary at the moment was Radek Zelenka, and when Carson had last checked on him, the Czech engineer had been sleeping. Carson had to wake him every couple of hours, but he didn't like to disturb him if it wasn't necessary. Still, hearing that unfamiliar sound made Carson think he should err on the side of caution this time.

He abandoned his desk and left his office. When he reached Radek's bed, all he could do for a second was stare. He didn't know whether he should laugh or be annoyed. Lying next to the engineer, on top of the blankets, was a young woman. The infirmary beds weren't really wide enough to accommodate more than one person, yet somehow the lass had managed it. She was tucked neatly against Radek with one arm trailing over the engineer's middle and her head resting on his chest.

Carson studied the two figures in the bed for a few moments. If he didn't know better, he might have said they were related. They had the same delicate bone structure, the same sort of slender bodies and narrow faces. The lass had wild, light brown hair, just like Radek. Her eyelids were closed, but Carson suspected that beneath those translucent lids, the eyes were a peculiar shade of Atlantis-ocean blue. Carson shook his head and ultimately failed to hide his amusement. He didn't recognize the lass, and so he had to assume this was the intruder everyone was so keen on tracking down. He didn't see anything threatening about her. She looked undernourished and exhausted, though she seemed to be resting comfortably enough. Surely, she wasn't dangerous.

As Carson came closer to the bed, the lass stirred. For a moment Carson was concerned he'd awakened her, but then he realized she was already awake. She raised her head and peered at him. Carson smiled. For some odd reason, he was just as delighted to discover he'd been wrong about the colour of her eyes, as he would have been to discover he'd been right. Her eyes were a deep chocolate brown. Carson thought maybe she sensed his delight because she returned his smile with one of her own.

"You've got the whole population of Atlantis looking for you, lass," Carson said to her. "Do you know that?"

She gave no indication whatsoever that she understood his words, though she must have sensed that he meant her no harm. She didn't try to run or hide. She kept her gaze locked with his for another few seconds before she turned her attention to Radek. She lowered her head to the engineer's chest again, almost as if she were trying to reassure herself that his heart was still beating in there.

Carson decided to try a more practical approach. "My name is Carson," he said, as he pointed to himself. Then he pointed at her. "What's your name?"

She didn't answer him, so he tried again. He rested a hand lightly on her forearm before pointing to himself again. "I'm Carson. Do you have a name?"

The poor thing stared at him with a look of consternation so profound that it made him give up for the moment on the idea of trying to learn her name. Instead, he tried to coax her into a bed of her own. She was happy enough, curled up with Radek, but that was not the way Carson Beckett liked his infirmary to be run. One patient to one bed was his rule. He finally convinced her to climb onto the bed adjacent to Radek's by offering her some water and an assortment of power bars. He even managed to tuck her beneath the covers.

Lying on her side beneath the blankets, nibbling daintily on a power bar, the lass spared little more consideration for Carson. Apparently, she had eyes only for Radek Zelenka. She refused to look anywhere else but at the sleeping engineer. When Carson tried to speak to her again, she ignored the doctor outright.

"All right." Carson sighed. 'I'll deal with you later, then. Perhaps you'll want to talk after you've eaten and rested a bit."

"Doctor Beckett?"

The soft, sleepy voice startled Carson, and he turned around to find Radek stirring awake. The engineer's eyes were still closed, but the expression on his face was one of polite curiosity. Carson went to him, and left the lass to tend her own affairs. "Well, Radek, it's nice to see you awake. How are you feeling?"

"Hmm…been better," the engineer said, "but I have also been much worse. Who were you talking to?"

"Mystery patient," Carson said. "Now really, how do you feel?"

"Tired. I'm very thirsty, too," Radek said. He raised his eyelids to half-mast, which was a testament to the fact he wasn't' quite fully awake yet. After a moment's thought, he added, "You have mystery patient?"

"Evidently, Colonel Sheppard brought back a stowaway," Carson explained. He filled a cup with water from the pitcher on the table beside Radek's bed. He inserted one of the ubiquitous bendable straws in the cup, and then held the whole thing for the engineer while he drank. "She caused quite the uproar. Here, don't swallow too much of that at a time, or you're liable to start coughing, and we wouldn't want that, now would we? Do you know, my mystery patient led the Marines on a merry chase around Atlantis before she finally ended up here."

Radek seemed satisfied after only a few swallows of water. "Thank you. So, where is mystery patient, now?"

"Right next to you, actually," Carson told him.

"Really?" Radek tried to shift his position in bed so that he could see around Carson. He let out a hiss of pain when he moved in a way his body wasn't quite ready for.

"Easy, lad," Carson admonished him. "I'm glad to know you're feeling well enough to be inquisitive, but you've got to take things slowly. Here, satisfy your curiosity, if you like."

Carson stepped away so that his body was no longer obstructing the sight line between Radek's bed and the bed of the "mystery patient". The doctor wasn't' sure what he'd expected to happen, but he knew he hadn't counted on the brilliant smile that lit Radek's features when he caught sight of the lass.

"Jirina," Radek said happily.

Carson stared. "_This_ is Jirina?"

"Well…no." Radek said, suddenly looking embarrassed. "I don't know. She didn't tell me her name. I call her that because she…reminds me of…of someone."

"I see," said Carson.

"She's the river spirit. She rescued me, and then she disappeared."

"On the planet?"

"On the planet, yes." said Radek. "And now she is here. I thought…"

"You thought you'd been hallucinating?" It was Carson's turn to feel embarrassed. "I have to confess, we thought you might have been hallucinating, too. You asked for her earlier, but you weren't making a great lot of sense.

"Is okay," Radek said. "I hope I did not say anything shocking."

"Not in the least," Carson said. He laughed. "If you'd said anything shocking, we probably wouldn't have understood much of it anyway."

"Oh," Radek said. He offered up a sheepish expression. "Speaking other languages is useful at times."

"It makes me wish I spoke another one."

"You only speak English?"

"I'm afraid so," Carson said. "How many languages do _you_ speak, Radek?"

Radek held up four fingers. "_Čtyři._ I speak four." He glanced at the young woman in the next bed, and sighed. "I wish I knew how to speak _her_ language."

"Oh?"

"Yes. I want to be able to thank her."

**TBC**  
--------------------

_Babička _-- Grandmother_  
Čtyři _-- four _  
_

**A/N #2** -- So, my mum is all into the idea of Grace's arrival. She's acting like she's going to have a grand-child. It's actually really cute. Grace is supposed to be coming home on 4 September, which is a little before my birthday, but I'm sure you all know how it is... hehe

Sunday is always a busy day for me, so I might not get to update the story till Monday. I hope everyone has a great, super-awesome weekend!


	8. Shadow

**DISCLAIMER – **I do not own _Stargate: Atlantis_. It is the property of MGM/UA and associated companies. This story is being written just for fun, and no exchange of money is involved.

**RATING – **Rated T (just to be safe.)

**SPOILERS – **None in this chapter. If there are ever any spoilers in this story, I'll let you know.

**A/N – **I know I said I probably wouldn't post a new chapter till Monday, but I got inspired to write this one today. It's a shorter chapter, and it's mostly got to do with Carson, but I think you will all appreciate it. And it's not just fluff, either lol.

Again, I assume my Dr. McCoy-esque attitude and remind you that I am a lawyer, not a doctor. (dammit, Jim! hehe) Please forgive my lack of medical knowledge. I hope I've made the stuff in this chapter sound reasonably convincing.

Thanks to everybody who keeps giving me these fabulous replies! You are all fantastic for replying and you're encouraging me a lot. I appreciate each and every one of you who's reading this.

I'm still without a beta, so all mistakes are mine.

* * *

**The Song Of Silent Rivers**

**8. Shadow**

"Come on out, love. The soldiers are gone, I promise,"

Carson was kneeling on the floor in his office, trying to coax a very frightened young woman to leave her hiding place under his desk. He was frustrated beyond reason, but he tried not to let it show in his body language. He didn't want to scare the lass any more than she'd already been. When Carson had radioed Elizabeth to say the lass had turned up in the Infirmary, he'd expected Elizabeth to come alone, or perhaps with Colonel Sheppard. Instead she'd arrived with a pair of armed-to-the-teeth Marines. One of the Marines had been Master Sergeant Ryan O'Connor, bandaged arm, belligerent expression and all. Carson hadn't been pleased to see them, but Carson's ire was nothing compared to the reaction of the poor lass who was now cowering under Carson's desk. One look at the Marines had sent her scurrying out of the room with a look of abject panic written all over her. Carson had promptly ordered the Marines out of his Infirmary. They'd looked unhappy about it, but they marched out nevertheless.

Elizabeth wasn't impressed with Carson pulling rank on the Marines, but Carson was ready for Elizabeth, too. He had informed her that their so-called intruder was no more than a lost girl, and as far as Carson could tell, she posed no threat to anyone. Her presence certainly did not warrant a company of combat-ready soldiers. Carson told Elizabeth how he'd somehow convinced the lass to eat and to change into a set of the white scrubs usually worn by Infirmary patients. She'd been behaving herself until the arrival of the Marines.

Elizabeth had stalked out of the Infirmary in no better a mood than the soldiers. Carson's promise to keep Elizabeth informed about everything that happened didn't seem to appease the expedition leader very much. Carson supposed Elizabeth was feeling more than a little stressed just now, but he didn't see how that justified her acting as abrupt and snappish as Rodney McKay on a bad day. She was supposed to be a diplomat, wasn't she? Carson could hardly believe he'd ever have such thoughts about Elizabeth Weir, but in this instance, he was truly glad to see the back of her when she walked out the door.

Carson beckoned to the lass again. "Come out, now. It's safe."

She eyed him warily, but after a moment she inched out from under the desk. Carson held out his hand to her, and she tentatively grasped it. Carson helped her to her feet.

"Now, then," Carson said. "You're having quite the adventure today, aren't you? I expect you're under the impression Atlantis is a dangerous place. We're not all bad, once you get to know us. I think you'll like Teyla and Colonel Sheppard, and you may even learn to like Dr. Weir once you've gotten a wee bit better acquainted with her. I know she frightened you, but she's upset right now, though if you want my opinion on the matter, she should be thanking you. You saved the life of one of her favourite people."

All through this monologue, the lass never let her gaze stray from Carson's face. She made no response to it, however, and she gave no visible indication she understood even a single word Carson was saying.

When he finally stopped talking, the lass reached for his hand again. She lifted Carson's hand and guided it to her own ear. To say the least, Carson was puzzled by the gesture. He said, "Is something the matter with your ear, love? Shall I have a look? Come over here and sit down."

He led her to the chair at his desk and gestured for her to sit in it. She sat down, tucked her feet beneath her, and watched Carson with wide, curious eyes. She seemed fascinated by his medical instruments, and willingly let him listen to her heart and take her blood pressure. She held perfectly still when he looked into her ears with the otoscope.

Carson was pleased that she was being so cooperative, though he was less than thrilled by what he discovered during his examination. A look inside the young woman's ears with the otoscope revealed something to Carson that he'd already suspected, given her apparent inability to understand what people were saying to her. There was a significant amount of damage in the middle ear, which Carson surmised had been caused by a severe childhood illness. Probably something simple that had gone untreated for too long, he thought. The lass most certainly suffered from severe hearing loss. He wouldn't have been at all surprised if she were profoundly deaf.

Carson's heart ached with sympathy for her. He wished he could communicate with her in a way she would understand. He wanted to tell her that he would take care of her and that no harm would come to her on Atlantis as long as he was around. He wondered what life for her had been like on her homeworld. Her existence had been a lonely one, he guessed. Carson recalled the circumstances in which he'd found the poor lass, curled up with her head pillowed on the chest of a sleeping Radek Zelenka. She hadn't been _listening_ to Radek's heartbeat, Carson realized now, but she must have been able to feel it. Carson could only imagine how being that close to another living person must have comforted her. She was obviously starved for human companionship and reassurance.

Carson was drawn out of his reverie by a light touch on his hand. The lass was smiling at him. Carson decided she had a lovely smile.

"I wish you could tell me your name," he said. No sooner had the words left his mouth than he was struck by an inspiration. He fetched a pencil and a pad of paper from his desk and handed both items to his patient. "Can you write? Do you understand what writing is?"

She studied the pencil for several seconds before she placed the graphite point against the surface of the paper. Her hand moved deftly as she stroked the pencil over the page. When she was done, she showed Carson what she had written. He was startled by what he saw.

"Ancient," he said. "You know the language of the Ancients."

Carson would be the first to admit his knowledge of the Ancients' language was sketchy at best, but nevertheless he attempted to decipher what the lass had written.

_«I watch. I am shadow in the forest. Thank you.»_

He understood her expression of gratitude well enough, but the first part of the message didn't seem to make much sense. Perhaps he'd have to ask Elizabeth to translate it properly, though he decided to wait until Elizabeth was in a better mood before he dared to ask. Maybe he could ask Rodney for some linguistic help, too. For now, though, he decided he'd just have to do the best he could with the knowledge he had. He held out his hand for the pencil, and the lass gave it to him. In his less-than-eloquent Ancient, he wrote:

_«Shadow. Your name?»_

The girl looked amused when she saw what he'd scribbled on the page. She took back the pencil to write him a reply.

_«My name I do not remember. I am shadow.»_

Carson smiled. "Well, I'm not sure what you mean, exactly, but I'm going to call you Shadow if that's all right with you," he said. "What would you say about taking a little walk? Bring your pencil, if you like. There's somebody I think you'll want to meet. He's much better at making sense of Ancient writing than I am."

He extended his hand and Shadow took it without hesitation. They stopped in the outer part of the Infirmary long enough for Carson to leave a list of instructions with his chief nurse, and then they headed for Rodney McKay's lab.

-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-

Just as Carson had suspected, Rodney McKay was holed up in his lab and working away on some project or other, instead of resting in his quarters like he was supposed to have been. The physicist was hunched over his ever-present laptop when Carson and Shadow walked in. Rodney looked miserable, Carson noted. The physicist was sniffling loudly and giving whatever was on his computer screen a baleful glare. Carson supposed he'd been wasting his breath this morning when he'd told Rodney to take a break from his work. He should have known the stubborn Canadian scientist would do no such thing.

"Hullo, Rodney," Carson greeted him. "How are you feeling?

Rodney didn't look up from his computer. "I wasn't aware you were in the habit of making house calls."

"This isn't a house call. I was just asking how you were."

"I'm still mad at you," Rodney said sulkily.

"I was just doing my job this morning, you know," Carson told him. "Besides, I never said you were _dying_. You came up with that one all by yourself."

"Hmph," was all Rodney said in response.

"I've brought someone to meet you," said Carson. "This is Shadow. She's got a talent I expect you'll appreciate."

"Can she fix a 'jumper? Does she know how to maintain the life support systems?"

"I don't think so."

"Well then, she has no talents I'd appreciate," said Rodney. "Now, go away. I'm working."

"Shadow can read and write Ancient," Carson said.

That statement made Rodney take a bit more notice of his visitors. He finally pulled his attention away from his laptop and looked at Carson and Shadow for the first time since they'd entered the lab. He eyed Shadow with evident suspicion, and demanded, "Who's _she_?"

"I've already tried to tell you, this is Shadow," said Carson. "She's here for a wee visit, so try to make her feel welcome if you can."

"Oh, no. No, no, no…. I know who she is. She's the intruder everyone's been trying to catch. Does Elizabeth know you've got her? Somebody should call in the troops or something, because a dangerous alien like her shouldn't be roaming around Atlantis. She might hurt somebody. She could—"

"Does she look dangerous to you?"

"I heard she bit a Marine," Rodney said.

"Oh, aye, she did. The way I understand it, he was being a bit rough with her at the time. She was just defending herself."

"_Defending_ herself? She's the one who infiltrated the city."

"She didn't infiltrate anything."

"Right," Rodney said. He pointed a finger at Shadow and narrowed his eyes. "You should be locked up, not going on a guided tour of Atlantis. Do you hear me?"

"Actually, Rodney, she doesn't hear you," Carson said.

"What are you talking about?"

"You're wasting your breath yelling at her. Shadow is deaf."

"Wha…?" Rodney said inarticulately, caught off guard in mid-rant. He flapped his hands in a vague gesture, and averted his gaze from Shadow to some random spot on the lab's far wall.

Carson watched Shadow, who was peering quizzically at Rodney. She must have thought he was funny, because she imitated his agitated hand-flapping and slackened her own jaw to match the expression on his face. Carson couldn't help grinning at her antics. Shadow, evidently, was not above amusing herself at Rodney's expense which, as far as Carson was concerned, made her a kindred spirit with half the personnel in Atlantis. Carson knew he probably ought to scold her for making fun of the physicist, but he couldn't bring himself to do it. Rodney hadn't exactly been charitable to Shadow so far, and Carson figured Rodney was getting exactly what he deserved.

After a few moments, Shadow gave up trying to play copycat with Rodney. Carson wondered what had drawn her attention away. He looked where she was looking, and spied a small silver-wrapped rectangle on the lab table next to Rodney's laptop. It was a power bar, and Carson already knew how Shadow felt about those.

Before either Carson or Rodney had time to react, Shadow darted forward and snatched the power bar from the table. Her nimble fingers tore the wrapping from it. Without so much as a pause for thought, she took a rather indelicate bite of the treat.

"Hey!" Rodney exclaimed. "That's _mine!_"

"I think it's hers now," Carson said. He was trying hard to hide his amusement, but one look at the expression on Shadow's face pushed him over the threshold of restraint. He laughed out loud. "I'd say you've finally met your match, Rodney."

Rodney's face began to turn an alarming shade of red. He waved his arms in a display of impotent fury, and yelled. "That's it! Get out of my lab! Both of you, get out of here _right this second!_"

-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-

"Well, that didn't go so well, did it?" Carson said, as he and Shadow made their way down the corridor, away from Rodney's lab. Shadow clutched her half-eaten power bar in one hand. Her other hand was curled securely around Carson's fingers. Carson glanced sideways at her and smiled fondly. "Aye, I know. You had a grand time in there, didn't you? I don't think Rodney'll be inclined to be friendly for a while, though I don't suppose that'll bother you, will it? Shall we go back to the Infirmary, then? I want to look in on Radek, and unless I miss my guess, you'll want to look in on him, too."

Carson realized that Shadow didn't understand a word he was saying. She did seem to like it when he talked to her, though, so he kept up a running commentary as they progressed through the city. Getting back to the Infirmary took longer than Carson had planned. He hadn't counted on Shadow's curiosity about everything. She'd been so nervous before that he hadn't expected her to want to explore now. He told himself he should not have underestimated her. She was proving to be full of surprises.

At one point, they passed an open doorway that led to one of the city's many balconies. The sun had already set, but apparently Shadow didn't mind the dark. She tugged Carson in the direction of the open door.

Shadow got very excited when she saw the ocean, which made Carson wonder if this was the first time she'd ever laid eyes on such a large body of water. She let go of Carson's hand and went right up to the railing. She would have climbed the railing for a better look at the water if Carson hadn't caught her from behind and held her in place. Carson was amazed that she didn't try to squirm out of his grasp. He was even more surprised when she actually leaned against him.

They stood together and watched the water in perfect, peaceful silence.


	9. A Gilded Cage

**DISCLAIMER – **_Stargate: Atlantis_ is not my property. It belongs to MGM/UA and associated companies. This story is for fun, not profit.

**RATING – **still rated T for safety

**SPOILERS – **None in this chapter

**A/N – **Thank you once again for all the replies and the helpful comments. Everyone who reads, replies and reviews is greatly appreciated. You are all encouraging me to keep working on this story, so a big thanks goes out to you from me! I hope this chapter makes sense. I think it's a little less unified than the others but ehhh… I hope you'll enjoy reading it as much as I liked writing it.

There's a bit of Czech in this chapter. Translations are at the end.

Anything in «double-angle quotation marks» represents something written in Ancient.

Yep…this is me with no beta. All mistakes are mine.

* * *

**The Song Of Silent Rivers**

**9. A Gilded Cage  
**

After a good night's sleep and a satisfying breakfast, Elizabeth was able to put the aftermath of the previous day's mission to M4X-382 into a more rational perspective. She knew offworld missions rarely went according to the plan, but she usually handled the disasters, both major and minor, with considerably more aplomb than she had done yesterday. Her immediate reaction had been to blame her erratic behaviour on stress. She was discouraged about the failure of the mission and frustrated by the fact that an intruder had somehow gotten into the city without anyone noticing. Her worry and concern for Radek wasn't helping, either. In fact, she thought, her feelings for Radek had most likely been what had pushed her beyond the limit of her usual self-control.

_Let this be a lesson to you_, said the voice in her head. There was a very good reason why leaders weren't supposed to become involved with the people under them, and if Elizabeth had only understood it in theory before, she was beginning to understand it in practice now. The less rational part of her brain tried to justify everything by saying that perhaps 'involved' wasn't the best word to describe her relationship with Radek. They weren't exactly _together_, though they did spend a lot of time with each other outside the ordinary course of their work. They had a lot in common, so it was only natural that they'd become very good friends.

_Right_, said Elizabeth's conscience. _You just keep telling yourself that. If you repeat it enough times, it'll appear true from a distance. Just don't examine it too closely._

Elizabeth wished she could tell her conscience to shut up and go away. She couldn't do that, of course, and no matter how much she hated to admit it, the rational part of her was the part she ultimately had to obey. She liked Radek Zelenka a lot – hell, she might as well admit she _loved_ him – but as long as she was the leader of this expedition she couldn't do anything about her feelings except keep them under control. She could not allow her professionalism to lapse like it had yesterday. Her objectivity was something she couldn't afford to lose, because someday the lives of her people might depend on it.

Maintaining impartiality was relatively easy when she was walking down the corridor alone.

-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-

"Elizabeth, I've been looking everywhere for you."

Rodney was out of breath and pink in the face as he ran to meet her. Elizabeth had made a quick detour to her quarters after breakfast, and was just stepping through the door, on her way to the Infirmary, when Rodney had come charging down the corridor. He looked like a man being chased by a monster, Elizabeth thought. She remembered her earlier dialogue with herself, and pulled her diplomatic persona firmly around her.

"Why didn't you call me on the radio?" she said to Rodney.

"Radio? Oh…um…never thought of it. Look, I have something really important to tell you, which I should have told you last night, but I was running an important experiment, and I didn't want to leave—"

"Rodney."

"What?" Rodney said. The Canadian was clearly agitated. He couldn't seem to keep his hands still.

"You were looking for me," Elizabeth said. "You wanted to tell me something. What is it?"

"Last night Carson came to my lab."

"Is that a problem?"

"No. I mean, _yes!_ Yes, it is a problem, Elizabeth, because he had that…that _person_ with him! That little deaf alien person who somehow managed to get past every member of this expedition and maul a Marine in the process was in my lab last night and…and she stole one of my power bars!"

Elizabeth's first impulse was to laugh, though she managed to contain it. She never ceased to be amazed at how the possessor of one of the most brilliant minds in two galaxies could behave like a petulant six-year-old most of the time. Rodney the Tattler stood before her, waving his hands in a gesture of puerile outrage over somebody taking one of his favourite treats. The whole thing would have been downright comedic, were it not for the statement Rodney had made before telling her about the power bar.

"Rodney," Elizabeth said. "Are you trying to say Carson took the girl out of the Infirmary and brought her to your lab?"

"That's exactly what I'm saying!" Rodney practically shouted. "I'm telling you, she's a menace. She should be locked up in the brig, or something. Carson was going on about how she was just defending herself when she bit that Marine, but if you want my opinion she should be considered dangerous. And besides that, we don't know what kind of diseases she's carrying. She could have infected us all with some alien plague by now."

"I'll speak to Carson," Elizabeth said. "I'm actually on my way to the Infirmary right now."

"I'm coming with you," Rodney said.

"Do you think that's a good idea?"

"Of course it's a good idea. All my ideas are good ideas."

Elizabeth had her doubts about the veracity of that statement, but as always, where Rodney McKay was concerned, some subjects were best left untouched. She said, "Remember what happened the last time you went to the Infirmary?"

"This is different. This is a matter of security."

"And you don't think I'm capable of dealing with it by myself?"

"No, no…I wasn't suggesting that at all," Rodney said hastily. "I think you're capable. I think you're more than capable."

"Good," said Elizabeth. "I'm glad we're agreed on that point."

-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-

For the first time in ages, Carson Beckett felt confident in saying everything was under control. At some point during the night, his nurses had convinced him to go to his quarters for some rest. Against his better judgment, he'd headed for his room. He'd surprised himself by sleeping for four uninterrupted hours, and when he awakened he was glad he'd let the nurses boss him around this time. He returned to the Infirmary at sunrise to find things in relatively good order. Both of his patients were doing as well as he could have anticipated and no one else had turned up looking for medical attention while he'd been gone.

At the moment, both Radek and Shadow were awake and eating breakfast. Carson was gratified to discover Radek had awakened with an appetite. On the other hand, he hadn't been at all surprised when Shadow had scurried up to him with her notebook and pencil, and had scrawled the unmistakable demand:

«_I want something to eat.»_

One of the nurses brought oatmeal and fruit juice for the patients' breakfast. Upon reflection, Carson thought perhaps oatmeal hadn't been the best choice for Shadow. She might have been fine if she hadn't been watching Radek, but her attempts to copy the engineer's use of his spoon were less than perfect. She'd probably never used a spoon before, Carson guessed. She was as awkward as a toddler trying to feed herself. Carson marvelled that the same hands which were so deft with a pencil could not handle a spoon.

With a look of annoyance on her face, Shadow dropped the spoon unceremoniously onto the blanket beside her. She promptly stuck her fingers into her oatmeal and tried to scoop it up that way. Carson did his best not to laugh.

Radek was less successful in his effort to remain straight-faced. He grinned at Shadow, who had her fingers firmly ensconced in her mouth. "She reminds me of my nephew," he said. "Tell her to hold spoon in her other hand, Carson."

"Why?" Carson asked.

"She is left-handed."

"How do you know that?"

"Did you not watch her when she was writing? She used left hand. She did what I did with the spoon, and I am right-handed, so…" Radek let his voice trail off, and gestured abstractedly with his own spoon at his bowl of oatmeal.

Carson felt like smacking himself in the forehead with the palm of his hand. He couldn't believe he hadn't noticed that particular detail. He picked up the pad of paper and the pencil and brought them to Radek. "Here, you tell her. You're much better at Ancient than I am. I'm afraid I might say something I shouldn't."

"I think she would forgive you," Radek said. "She's in your fan club."

"At least somebody's in my fan club," Carson said.

"Who isn't?" Radek asked.

"Rodney."

"_Zastavit trápit se_. Rodney pretends not to be in anyone's fan club, but he is really good person beneath the surface," Radek said. He squinted at the paper in front of him and scratched a message on it with the pencil. He held both items out for Carson to take when he was finished. "No more of that, please. Without glasses, it makes my head ache worse when I look at it."

"I'm sorry," Carson said. "I expect Elizabeth's managed to find your spare pair by now, though. She'll probably bring them with her when she visits."

"I hope so."

Radek settled onto his pillows and closed his eyes, neglecting his half-finished breakfast. Carson let him be, and turned his attention back to Shadow. He showed her what Radek had written, and she immediately picked up the spoon in her left hand. She had much better luck on the second attempt.

Once she'd finished eating, she was ready to have a conversation. She wrote:

«_Thank you_. _Can we walk together now? I want to see the sky. Are there forests on your world? Can I see trees?»_

«_Too many questions.» _Carson replied, frustrated by his lack of knowledge of the Ancient language. _«Ask one.»_

_«Am I a prisoner?»_

The question caught Carson off-guard. It was the last thing he'd expected her to ask and it upset him that she thought she might be considered a captive. He wanted to reassure her that she was anything but a prisoner here, but he lacked the words to do so. Instead, he settled for:

_«No, no, no. Shadow not prisoner.»_

She smiled briefly when she read his words, but he noticed the smile didn't quite reach her eyes. Carson wasn't sure she believed him, though he desperately wanted her to. He had his answer when she took back the pencil and wrote her reply.

Shadow's words drifted like dark clouds across Carson's mind as he read them.

_«Your people are warriors. Your people think I am the enemy. Warriors make prisoners of the enemy. I am shadow in the forest. I want to live free.» _

-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-

Carson was in his office, working at his computer. Shadow was with him. The lass sat cross-legged on the floor beside Carson's desk with the now-familiar notebook resting on her knee. She'd been writing busily for the past half-hour, but she had declined to show Carson what she was working on. He was content to let her do what she wanted. She was quiet, and as long as she was occupied she wouldn't be bothering any of the nurses or the other doctors.

It was Elizabeth's sudden arrival in Carson's office that put an end to Shadow's good behaviour. One look at the expedition leader sent the deaf woman scrambling for cover.

Carson tried to pretend he didn't notice Shadow had hunkered down in the space between the wall and a nearby container of supplies. He tried to keep his expression neutral when he said, "Good morning, Dr. Weir. Is there anything I can do for you?"

"I'd like to speak to you about the girl," Elizabeth said.

"Shadow, you mean?"

"Shadow. Is that her name?"

"Well, it's what she calls herself," Carson said. "Shadow in the forest. What do you want to talk about?"

"I understand she's been roaming around the city."

_Oh, good Lord. Here comes the lecture_, Carson thought. Aloud, he said, "Where might you have heard a thing like that, Dr. Weir?"

"Did you take her out of the Infirmary last night?"

Carson knew there was no point in denying what had happened. He couldn't lie to Elizabeth, and anything he tried to make up would have sounded utterly stupid at any rate. Of course with hindsight being what it was, he realized it had probably been ill-advised to take Shadow for a walk around Atlantis without first checking with Elizabeth, but then again, like most bad plans, it had seemed like a good idea at the time.

"I did," he said.

"You know you should have cleared it with me first."

"Aye, I know," he admitted.

"I'm getting the distinct impression there's a 'but' in that sentence somewhere, Dr. Beckett."

There were several 'buts' in the statement, Carson decided. He didn't know which of them to give voice to first. He wanted to tell Elizabeth that Shadow was fine. She wasn't dangerous and she didn't have any communicable diseases. He wanted to say that Shadow was curious and needed to explore. What he ended up saying, and what seemed to pop out of his mouth of it's own volition was, "She thinks she's a prisoner, Elizabeth. A bloody _prisoner_, for the love of God! She thinks we're warriors and that we believe she's the enemy. Now, where do you expect she got an idea like that?"

"Dr. Beckett—" Elizabeth's tone carried more than a hint of warning in it.

"You've got to explain to her that we aren't her enemies."

"Dr, Beckett, until we learn more about this woman, we don't know that she isn't an enemy. After all, she did sneak through the Stargate with Colonel Sheppard's team, and she did try to evade being captured. I'm not willing to risk letting her roam freely through the city until I'm as certain as I can be that she doesn't represent a threat."

Carson could hardly believe what he was hearing. Sure, he understood Elizabeth's need for caution, but the woman wasn't even trying to be reasonable. He pointed toward Shadow, who was still hiding behind the container of supplies.

"Elizabeth, just _look_ at her," he said. "She thinks you're going to hurt her. You need to tell her that you don't mean to do her any harm. More than likely, she'll tell you want you want to know if you'll just _ask_ her."

Carson watched a battle of emotions take place in Elizabeth's expression. He could almost hear the internal dialogue. He imagined Dr. Weir the Expedition Leader arguing on the side of caution, while Elizabeth the Diplomat wanted more than anything to make contact with yet another representative of an alien world. Carson was more than a little relieved to see that in the end, it was Elizabeth the Diplomat who won the silent debate. Her face relaxed into something a little less severe, and she took a step toward Shadow's hiding place.

She gave Carson an uncertain look. "Wait," she said. "How can I talk to her if she can't hear me?"

Carson hadn't finished his report on Shadow's physical examination yet, and he did not recall ever mentioning to Elizabeth that Shadow was deaf. In that moment, he understood exactly how Elizabeth had found out about it. She'd been told by the same person who informed her that Carson had taken Shadow for a walk around the city last night. _Rodney McKay._ Carson wasn't normally a vindictive person, but just this once, something made him want to repay the Canadian for getting him into trouble. Settling of scores would have to wait, though.

Carson picked up Shadow's notebook from the floorand gave it to Elizabeth. "Here you are," he said. "She reads and writes Ancient. You shouldn't have any trouble communicating with her."

"Ancient?" Elizabeth echoed. "How does she know Ancient?"

"If you really want to know that," Carson said. "Perhaps you ought to ask _her._"

**TBC  
-------------------**

_Zastavit trápit se_ – stop worrying

**A/N #2 –** I know this chapter was kind of all over the map, but the next one will be better, I promise. I always hit these spots midway through a story where things get kind of…odd. It's usually a self-resolving problem, though, so look for some improvements next chapter.

I think I've figured out how to show you all a picture of Grace, so here goes… Just replace everything in (parentheses) with the punctuation marks whose names I wrote in the parentheses and it -should- work... -crosses fingers- http(colon-slash-slash)i7(dot)tinypic(dot)com(slash)20tqszb(dot)jpg


	10. Shadow And Enlightenment

**DISCLAIMER – **_Stargate: Atlantis_ is not my property. It belongs to MGM/UA. I am writing this story purely for the enjoyment of myself and others. I am not getting monetary compensation in any form.

**RATING – **The overall story rating is T

**A/N – **I stopped putting the spoiler warnings in, since there are no obvious ones in this story. So, thanks to all for bearing with me through that last chapter. The comments were helpful. I appreciate any feedback I get, and I take all suggestions under advisement.

There's some Czech in this chapter, but as always, I've provided a translation at the end.

Anything in «double-angle quotation marks» represents something written in Ancient.

All mistakes are mine, as I have no beta at this time.

* * *

**The Song Of Silent Rivers**

**10. Shadow and Enlightenment**

Shadow was tired. She was tired of sitting on cold, hard floors and she was tired of answering questions. The dark-haired woman Shadow had come to think of as the Leader had asked a lot of questions. Shadow had tried to tell the Leader everything she'd wanted to know, but some of the questions Shadow had not been able to answer. She could not explain how the devices in the Ancestors' hidden place worked, and she did not wish to tell about the death of her village, and she absolutely refused to tell how she had been able to conceal herself. Her treasure from the Ancestors was her secret. She would only share it with someone she trusted. Perhaps if the man from the river asked, she would tell him. She might tell the Healer, for he had been kind to her and had given her no reason to be afraid. Shadow's father had been a Healer. He had begun to teach Shadow the healing arts, and he'd taught her the language of the Ancestors. Shadow's father had been the wisest man in the village, and everyone had looked to him for guidance. Shadow wished she could seek his counsel now, but many seasons had passed since her father's death, and on this strange world with no forests she doubted she could even sense the presence of his spirit.

Shadow told the Leader that if the people of this world wanted to see the things in the Ancestors' hidden place, Shadow would take them there. That seemed to please the Leader, and she smiled in a way that made Shadow think of a forest cat sunning itself by the river. The Leader also seemed happy when Shadow told her about all the fruits and plants that grew in the forest. Shadow would show the strangers which ones were good to eat and which were good for making medicine. They could take some things back to their own strange village, if they wanted.

When Shadow thought she could not possibly answer another question, the Leader communicated something Shadow did not expect. The dark-haired woman smiled; not the forest cat smile, but a real, human smile. She lifted the writing instrument from where Shadow had placed it on the floor.

_«Thank you, Shadow. You have been very helpful. Thank you also for saving the life of my friend.»_

Shadow wanted to accept the Leader's thanks for what it was, but she did not trust the dark-haired woman. She remembered a story her father had told her, about a hunter who tricked his prey into trusting him before he killed it. Shadow did not know why she thought of the story now, but her instincts were still telling her to be careful.

_«I wish for my life in return.» _Shadow wrote.

She thought the Leader would be angry with her for writing that, but Shadow was further surprised when the Leader seemed confused by her words.

_«Your life is yours.»_ the Leader told her. _«No one will harm you here. This is Atlantis, City of the Ancestors.»_

Shadow read the Leader's words several times. She was scarcely able to believe _this_ strange place was the City of the Ancestors. She showed the words to the Healer, wanting him to assure her it was indeed true.

_«Yes.» _The Healer wrote. _«True.»_

Letting her caution flee away, Shadow threw her arms around the Healer and embraced him. She felt the vibration of his laughter through her whole body when he returned the embrace, and she was happier than she had been for many seasons. To think that the City of the Ancestors was real, and she was here this very moment was amazing to her. Her father had told her the Ancestors sent their great city to the bottom of the sea when they had lost their battle against the Wraith, ten thousand seasons ago. No one in Shadow's village had really believed the city would rise again, yet here it was.

Thinking about her village made Shadow sad, despite her joy in learning that the lost city of the Ancestors was real. Not for the first time, she wished she could see her father and her grandmother again. She wished she could watch the village poet caress his instrument by the light of the evening fire. One of the village elders had written down some of the poems for her, and she liked to imagine the pictures and stories in her head while she watched the poet with his instrument. She missed them all, even the cantankerous old man who used to chase her through the village with his stick when she stole the biggest fruits from his best tree.

Shadow rested her head against the Healer's shoulder and closed her eyes. She felt tears stinging her eyes. She didn't want to weep, not in the presence of the Leader, but she could not stop herself. She was ashamed of herself for weeping. She had lived for nineteen seasons and she should have been too old for such things.

She felt the Healer's hand on her head. He stroked her hair in a way that her father had used to do. In that instant, she knew the Healer did not judge her for her tears. Perhaps here, people were not looked down upon for falling short of the expectations of their village. Maybe, in this place, people were measured by qualities other than strength.

-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-

"Hush now, love. Everything's all right."

Carson sat on the floor with Shadow half in his lap. He patted Shadow's hair while the lass cried against his shoulder. Her tears had been just as unexpected as her fierce hug had been, and the only explanation Carson could come up with was that the events of the past several hours had finally caught up with her. She was exhausted, that much was certain. He hadn't been keeping track of how many minutes had passed while Shadow and Elizabeth had been communicating with each other, but it seemed to him as if they'd been at it for quite a long time.

Carson had been concerned at first that Shadow would be too afraid of Elizabeth to carry on a sensible dialogue with her, but once Shadow had realized Elizabeth really meant her no harm, they'd seemed to get along fine. It was the mention of Atlantis that had set off Shadow's current emotional storm.

Elizabeth was still sitting on the floor, too. She watched Shadow with an expression of confusion and worry creasing her features. "I just told her where we are," Elizabeth said. "I thought she should know."

"I think she's overwhelmed. You must remember, she's been through a lot since yesterday," Carson said. "She's still getting used to the idea of not being on her homeworld. Who knows what her people believed about Atlantis and the Ancients? She might think she's walking on sacred ground."

"I'm hoping she'll tell us what she knows about the Ancients," Elizabeth said.

"Aye, and you're not the only one, but don't expect her to tell you any more today. The poor lass is completely worn out."

"Yes…yes, I can see that."

Carson offered Elizabeth what he hoped was a reassuring smile. "You did well, Elizabeth. You know, I have to confess I had my doubts, but you really did very well with her. I think she'll learn to trust you."

"I hope so," Elizabeth said. She looked away from Carson and Shadow, and appeared to become very interested in a random spot on the floor. When she finally spoke again, her voice was subdued. "Carson, there's one more thing I want to tell Shadow."

"What is it?" Carson asked.

"If I write it for her, will you make sure she sees it?"

"Of course. I'll be certain to tell her it's from you."

Elizabeth collected the notebook from where Shadow had dropped it. She carefully wrote her message, and placed the paper beside Carson on the floor. She climbed to her feet and deposited the pencil on the desk.

"Thank you," she said quietly.

"Think nothing of it," Carson said.

He watched Elizabeth walk out of his office. When she was gone, he looked at what she had written.

_«I did not mean to frighten you. Please forgive me. I am sorry.»_

-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-

Radek awoke to the pleasant awareness of someone holding his hand. He'd been dreaming of Prague and his childhood, of walking in winter through the old city with his mittened fingers warm and snug in his cousin Dušana's grasp. In his dream he'd talked with his cousin about going to America. They made up stories to tell each other about what they would do when – not if – they got there. Radek said he wanted to see the Statue of Liberty. Dušana wanted to learn to ride a horse. They both agreed they wanted to see the part of America where it never snowed and fruit trees flourished in the middle of December. For the first moment after waking up, Radek was certain it was still his cousin who held his hand.

"_Amerika is do téže míry jeden pohádka," _he told the person he imagined was Dušana. "_Skoro příliš nádherný až k domnívat se._"

"Oh, you think so, do you?" The voice that spoke to him sounded amused, and definitely did not belong to his cousin. "If you think America is that wonderful, I'd love to hear what you think of Atlantis."

Radek opened his eyes to find Elizabeth Weir smiling at him. He felt his face grow warm when he realized he'd spoken the words aloud that he'd thought were only in his head. He offered Elizabeth a smile of his own, albeit a lopsided one. "Atlantis," he said, "is better than a fairytale, but I can't help dreaming of Earth sometimes."

"I think we all dream about Earth sometimes," said Elizabeth. "I didn't mean to wake you. I just came to see how you're feeling."

"Better," Radek said. "Not wonderful, but better. Maybe I should ask how _you_ are feeling? You look tired."

"I'm a little tired. I've had a busy morning."

"Am I allowed to ask what you were doing?"

"Actually," said Elizabeth. "I had a very interesting conversation with a good friend of yours."

"You talked with Rodney? Yes, I can understand how it would tire you," Radek said. Almost every conversation he ever had with Rodney McKay made him feel mentally weary for one reason or another. "What did he say?"

To Radek's surprise, Elizabeth laughed. "I _did_ speak with Rodney this morning, but he's not the friend I was referring to. I meant Shadow."

"She is remarkable," Radek said.

"Yes, she is. I was able to learn a lot from her about her homeworld. Apparently, there's some sort of Ancient structure near her village. She's offered to show it to us."

Radek had the feeling that he'd missed some vital bit of information while he'd been drifting in and out of sleep. The world he had visited with Colonel Sheppar and the others was an uninhabited world. Aside from Shadow, they had seen no signs of human life at all. They hadn't seen a single structure, and they certainly hadn't discovered any sort of settlement.

He frowned. "There is a village?"

"Shadow says there's one."

"What else did she say?"

"She knows which plants on her world are valuable in making medicines. Knowledge like that could be very useful to us, don't you think?"

"Perhaps Carson is best person to ask about that," Radek said. "We did not see a village when we were there, Elizabeth. Are you certain you understood?"

"She mentioned her village several times."

"Will you ask her to show you where her village is?"

"I want to discuss ii with the senior personnel and get their opinions, first," Elizabeth said, "but yes, I definitely think another team will be going back to M4X-382 to have a look at Shadow's village."

Inexplicably, Radek wished he could be included for the return mission to M4X-382. Of course, he understood he wouldn't be going. It was because of him that the original mission had failed in the first place. Still, some part of him wanted to go back there and complete the undertaking he'd set out to do. More than that, he wanted to find the village where the mysterious girl who called herself Shadow had come from. He wanted to meet her people, and he wanted to know how they managed to keep themselves so well-hidden. Perhaps they understood something about Ancient technology that the expedition from Earth did not. Radek was eager for any opportunity to learn. Sometimes his thirst for new knowledge even overrode his myriad fears, and he could be convinced the end result would be worth the risk.

If you go," he said to Elizabeth, "promise you will tell me all about it when you come back."

**TBC**  
--------------------

_Amerika is do téže míry jeden pohádka_ – America is like a fairytale  
_Skoro příliš nádherný až k domnívat se_ – Almost too wonderful to believe


	11. Knowledge And Power

**DISCLAIMER –** _Stargate: Atlantis_ does not belong to me. It is the property of MGM/UA and associated companies. This story is a work of fan fiction created for personal enjoyment, not profit. With regard to this story, no exchange of money in any form has taken place.

**RATING – **Story rated T

**SPOILERS – **Anything up to the end of Season 2 is fair game.

**A/N –** Well, here's a nice long chapter for you. I am rather pleased with how this one turned out, personally. Here you get to see Shadow vexing Rodney a bit, and sharing a few of her secrets with Radek and Carson. So, yes… HUGE THANKS to everyone who replied to the last chapter. You guys always make my day with your replies. Special thanks to **NenyaVilyaNenya **the most consistent reply-poster ever! -nod- Anyway, I hope you all enjoy reading this chapter as much as I enjoyed writing it for you.

Anything in «double-angle quotation marks» represents something written in Ancient.

Still beta-less. Blame all the mistakes on me.

* * *

**The Song Of Silent Rivers**

**11. Knowledge And Power **

John had never been good at paying attention to people when they talked for more than ten minutes at a time. He supposed he should work on improving himself in that area, because with Rodney around, ten-minute monologues were the rule rather than the exception. The Canadian could really get going when he was speaking about a subject that fascinated him. The trouble with Rodney was that too many things fascinated him. His hunger for knowledge was matched only by the capacity of his brain, which in Rodney's own estimation, was vast. John was no slouch in the brainpower department, either – he'd scored in a high percentile when he'd taken the MENSA test – but expecting him to keep up with Rodney was something like asking a guy in a Cessna to out-fly a fighter pilot in an F302. Just couldn't be done, no way, not a chance. The Canadian was in a league all his own. At the moment, Rodney was rendering his self-important opinion on the proposed return trip to M4X-382. John didn't see that an entire lecture was necessary. John's input had taken all of two minutes. He thought they should go back. They'd created more risk for themselves on M4X-382 than any dangers the planet seemed to hold for them. They'd just have to be more careful next time. The chance of finding a ZPM or some other useful technology was worth going back to investigate, and now, as John understood it, they had a native guide to show them the best way to go.

John slouched in his chair and looked around at the other participants at the briefing. Ronon was slouched similarly in his own chair across the table from John. Teyla and Elizabeth both appeared to be listening intently to whatever Rodney was going on about. At the end of the table farthest from John, the woman who called herself Shadow was sitting side-by-side with Carson. Since her unexpected arrival in Atlantis the day before yesterday, Shadow had been restricted to the Infirmary, though this afternoon Elizabeth had agreed it was all right to let her explore. John suspected everyone in the Infirmary was relieved about that. When John had dropped in to visit Dr. Zelenka this morning, he'd been assaulted with dozens of questions and demands from Shadow, none of which he could respond to. Dr. Zelenka had said he thought the young woman was bored. John could hardly blame her. Two days and nights cooped up in the Infirmary would've had John bored out of his mind, too.

Apparently, Shadow had been pestering everyone in the Infirmary with a constant stream of requests for information, attention and food. John wanted to laugh when he thought about Shadow not asking for, but _demanding_, something to eat. The woman had an appetite to rival Rodney's, and that was saying something. According to Carson she would eat anything edible, but power bars were her snack of choice. Carson's story about Shadow snitching Rodney's power bar in the lab had made John laugh so hard that his sides ached. He thought he might've given a million bucks for a picture of the physicist's face.

John caught himself watching Shadow, now. He could see something of the eccentric in her as she worked her pencil over the sheet of paper on the table in front of her. Her face was intense with concentration. At first, John had thought she was writing, but then he realized she was actually drawing something. He wanted to see what it was, but couldn't get a proper look at it from where he sat. He pushed down a mild wave of envy and wanted to laugh at himself for even having that feeling in the first place. As much as he'd like to be able to divert his mind from tedium by drawing pictures, he would never get away with it. Elizabeth would not be amused. Or maybe she would be, but she'd make sure he never realized it.

John became aware that Rodney had finally stopped talking when the physicist dropped into the chair beside his. Rodney looked smug, as if he'd made some particularly salient comment of which everyone present should now be in total awe.

"Thank you, Rodney. That was particularly…thorough," Elizabeth was saying.

"I know," said Rodney.

"And your conclusion is…?" John prompted him for the quick, plain-English version of whatever the man had been saying for the past ten minutes.

"I'm sure I already made it clear that I think we should return to the planet," said Rodney. "I said that, didn't I? Anyway, I think I should go this time. I always say that if you want something done right, you should do it yourself."

John thought about going back to that humid, insect-infested planet with Rodney McKay in tow. He wasn't looking forward to listening to the physicist complain about the bugs and the heat and whatever other burrs Rodney had under his proverbial saddle that day, but he could not refute the fact that Rodney was the best person to have along if they actually did discover some Ancient stuff. Rodney was a good person underneath the ego and the bluster. He was loyal and determined, and nobody could deny that the guy was a genius. John truly liked him and was glad to call him a friend. It was just that sometimes, the whining could be difficult to take. Rodney was, as the saying went, high-maintenance.

"Of course you're coming with us, McKay. We wouldn't dream of leaving Atlantis without you," John said. He looked around at the other members of his team. "What do you guys think?"

"We shoud go back," Ronon said.

"I think," said Teyla, "that we should ask Shadow what _she_ thinks. We are talking about a visit to her world. Should she not be told about what we are discussing?"

"She offered to show us around…didn't she?" John glanced at Elizabeth, who was looking down at the table. "Elizabeth?"

"Yes," said Elizabeth. "Yes, she did offer to guide us, but Teyla is right. She needs to know what we're planning to do."

"Somebody should describe the ZPM to her," John suggested. "Maybe she knows exactly what we're looking for."

"Rodney, can you do that?" Elizabeth asked.

"Explain the ZPM to _her_?" Rodney looked dubious. "I doubt she'd understand—"

"You don't have to give her the Ph.D. seminar on the science of power generation," John said. "All you have to do is describe to her what the ZPM looks like and tell her what it does. Draw a picture for her, or something. I'm pretty sure she relates well to pictures."

From the far end of the table, Carson grinned at Rodney and John. The doctor had been relatively quiet throughout the briefing, but now he spoke up. "Aye, she does. You might be interested in Shadow's pictures, too, Rodney."

"I doubt that," said the Canadian.

"Oh, I think you'll appreciate them," Carson said. "The lass is making you a survival guide for when you visit her world."

"See? That could really come in handy," John said. He grinned at Rodney. "You wouldn't want to accidentally run into some alien strain of poison ivy, would you?"

"I'd be more concerned about the forest cats," said Carson. "My Ancient's a wee bit shaky, but I believe she's written here that the beasts like to 'eat man's bones'. Not the sort of buggers you'd want to run into, I expect."

Carson looked much too innocent when he'd said that, John thought. He wondered what sort of byplay was going on between the doctor and Rodney. The two of them seemed to have a thinly-veiled battle going on, and John was itching to get to the bottom of it. Perhaps he'd do a discreet bit of asking around, later. Gather some intel, he decided. Right now, though, there were more important things to concern himself with, like making sure Rodney did what he'd been asked to do without too much fuss.

John said, "So, how about it, McKay? Will you trade pictures with Shadow? You never know. _She_ might actually be able to teach _you_ something."

"Hmph," Rodney said.

-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-

Radek was bored.

He'd often heard Colonel Sheppard complain about how two days and two nights in the Infirmary could feel like a year. He had always thought the colonel was exaggerating, but now he began to realize the appropriateness of Sheppard's sentiment. When one was ill or injured the Infirmary was the best place in the galaxy to be, but once a person began to feel better, that same Infirmary could start to feel very confining. The problem with the Infirmary was that there was nothing to divert a person's attention from the fact that he was in the Infirmary. Lying in bed gave him lots of time to think about how he'd ended up lying in bed in the first place. Not exactly the most mentally stimulating thoughts, Radek decided. He wished someone would come and offer to play chess with him. At least then he'd have something to occupy his mind.

Radek was still bruised and sore, but his headache had mostly disappeared. Carson had said his lungs sounded much better today, as well, but the doctor had insisted on Radek spending one more night in the Infirmary. Perhaps in the morning, Carson had said, Radek would be allowed to leave the Infirmary in favour of resting in his own quarters. Radek knew better than to argue or protest, though he really didn't see why Carson couldn't let him go to his quarters _now_. If Carson was worried his patient might decide to spend the evening tinkering with machines in the lab, Radek would have been happy to assure him _that_ wouldn't happen. Work could wait, though he would have liked to write in his journal and listen to some music. What Radek wanted most of all was to be able to curl up in his own bed, in his own room, away from the presence of nurses and medical equipment and the pungent smell of antibacterial cleaning products.

Radek sighed. At the moment, he didn't even have anyone to talk to. Carson had taken Shadow with him to the briefing about M4X-382, but had returned without her. According to the doctor, Elizabeth had finally agreed it was all right for Shadow to leave the Infirmary. Knowing Shadow, she was off wreaking havoc someplace, much too busy exploring and having fun to sit around and keep Radek company. He missed her being there, but he was glad she'd finally been allowed to go. The Infirmary had been like a cage to her, and Radek suspected Shadow was not the sort of person who could survive being confined for long.

He tried to guess where she might be right now. The mess hall, perhaps, where there was no telling the amount of mischief she could cause. Radek wondered if she'd discovered blue Jell-o yet. God help the soldier in the mess hall kitchen if she ended up liking blue Jell-o as much as she liked power bars. She would have the reputation of being the next incarnation of Rodney McKay. That was a frightening thought. A single iteration of Rodney was enough for Atlantis. The Lost City could not possibly cope with two.

Radek could just imagine what might happen if Shadow and Rodney were left alone in a room together. If only he could render himself invisible, Radek would have loved to hide in a corner of _that_ room.

-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-

The more human beings Rodney met, the more he liked his cat.

After the briefing, Elizabeth had insisted that he take Shadow with him to his lab and explain the details of their proposed mission to her. Rodney had been hoping the deaf woman would not want to go with him, but to his utter chagrin, she had seemed all too excited by the prospect. She had practically skipped down the corridor on the way to the lab, irritating Rodney to the point where he actually raised his voice and commanded her to walk sensibly. That had been pointless, since she couldn't hear him anyway.

In the lab, he had tried and ultimately failed to get her to sit still and pay attention to what he was writing. She seemed disinterested in the mission and the intricacies of ZPM technology. In fact, the only thing she did seem interested in was the device Radek had been working on before the original mission to M4X-382. Rodney and Radek had found the device when they'd been exploring the city, but they'd been unable to ascertain its purpose. Radek thought it was a recording device, though Rodney had no idea where the Czech had come up with that theory.

"Don't touch that!" Rodney said, for about the fifth time, as Shadow reached for the device.

Grumbling to himself, Rodney hurried across the room to interpose himself between Radek's work table and the curious woman. Shadow fixed him with an annoyed glare, which Rodney ignored. He said, "Look, we're supposed to be doing something productive, here. You can't touch Radek's experiments. You can't touch _anything!_ Do you underst— No, of course you don't. Just…come here."

He put his hand on her arm and tried to steer her in the direction of his own work table, but she evaded him and scurried to the far side of the lab. From her sanctuary in the corner, she wagged a finger at Rodney and formed her expression into something so reminiscent of Carson Beckett that Rodney wanted to scream.

"This isn't helping!" Rodney exclaimed. He waved his hands in a gesture of unqualified exasperation. The menace in the corner flapped her hands, too, making fun of him. Clearly, like nearly everyone else around here, Shadow did not take Rodney seriously. The beleaguered physicist covered his face with his hands and muttered. "That's it. I give up."

When Rodney uncovered his eyes several seconds later, Shadow was gone.

Rodney stared at the spot where she had been. There was no way she could have gotten out of the lab without his noticing it…was there? His gaze darted around the room, trying to locate where the deaf woman might be hiding. He didn't see her, but he did see something that almost convinced him he might be going crazy. The two power bars that had hitherto been on the table near his computer vanished into thin air, right before his eyes.

"What the—" Rodney began.

The next thing to disappear was the toaster-sized device that had once resided on Radek's work table. One moment the object had been there and the next moment it was not.

"Shadow!" Rodney shouted, knowing even as her name left his lips that calling to her was a fine exercise in futility. "Whatever it is that you're doing, stop it! Stop it right now!"

The soft swish of the lab door sliding open made Rodney spin around to gape in that direction, but all he saw was the door opening and closing on nothing. He couldn't help thinking of all that ridiculous ghost nonsense Radek was always talking about. Up to this point, Rodney had been firmly convinced his friend and fellow scientist was the owner of an extremely active and not entirely rational imagination, but as he stood gazing at the door of his lab, Rodney began to wonder if some of Radek's stories might have a fragment of credibility after all. Then again, Rodney thought frantically, maybe this was the first sign of some kind of horrific mental illness. Seeing things, _not _seeing things… God, it was enough to make him want to get himself examined…almost.

At that precise moment, the only thing Rodney McKay could say he knew for certain was that the woman who called herself Shadow was more than what she seemed.

-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-

Radek was startled when Shadow appeared beside his bed, mostly because he'd just been thinking about her and imagining that she was somewhere else, but also because he hadn't heard her approach. He hadn't actually seen her come in, either, and if he hadn't known better, he would have said she'd appeared out of thin air. He noticed she had changed out of the white scrubs Carson had given her, and was once again wearing her threadbare green dress and leggings. She was also wearing her peculiar necklace again. In her arms she carried a small metallic box that looked suspiciously like the device Radek had been experimenting with several days ago in his lab.

Shadow appeared to have been running and she was somewhat dishevelled, but she seemed none the worse for it. Radek couldn't help thinking she was very pretty, especially when she smiled the way she was doing now. She seemed genuinely happy to see him, and left little doubt of it in his mind when she put down the object she'd been carrying, climbed onto the bed with him and gave him an affectionate hug. Radek returned her embrace, marvelling at how demonstrative she was with him when she seemed so wary of nearly everyone else.

Apparently satisfied, Shadow settled into a comfortable position at the foot of Radek's bed. When she pulled a power bar from the small bag hanging from her belt, and calmly began to unwrap it, Radek didn't even bother to suppress his grin. Shadow was nothing if not resourceful. He was sure she could survive anywhere. Shadow broke the power bar in half, and offered one of the pieces to Radek. He accepted it with a nod of thanks. Even before he tasted it he could smell the scent of peanut butter emanating from it, and he had a very good idea where the confection had come from. He glanced at Shadow, who was chewing with a contented expression on her face.

"You took this from Rodney, didn't you?" Radek said. He fluttered his hands and scowled in a plausible imitation of his friend. "Shadow, you know Rodney, don't you?"

Shadow laughed. She made absolutely no sound, but Radek knew she was laughing. Her eyes crinkled at the corners. She covered her mouth with her fingers, and she shook all over with the mirth she could not give voice to. Watching her, Radek felt like laughing too. Her sense of humour was infectious.

When Shadow's silent fit of giggling ran its course, she finished her half of the power bar in a few indecorous bites and casually discarded the foil wrapper by flipping into the air. Radek didn't scold her, although he probably should have. He happily convinced himself the reason he didn't admonish her for throwing things around was because without something to write on, he had no way to communicate with her. That, of course, was not strictly true, but if anyone happened to ask, it was what Radek intended to say.

Shadow dusted the crumbs from her hands and promptly turned her attention to something else. Radek watched as she lifted the pendant of her necklace and ran her thumb over its surface. The pendant was the size and shape of an almond. Radek thought it was a locket. Shadow seemed to deliberate for a moment as she rubbed the silver-coloured object. Then, she slipped the loop of cord from her neck and calmly placed her necklace in Radek's hand.

On closer inspection, Radek discovered the object was indeed meant to be be opened, though he couldn't figure out how to accomplish it. He stared at the necklace for a long time. He was far from ready to admit he was 'stumped', as Colonel Sheppard would say, but neither could he imagine solving the problem of how to open the locket without a more in-depth study than he was able to make with just eyes and fingers.

Shadow reached out and stroked the edge of the pendant, and as if by magic, the two halves came apart, conjoined only by a tiny hinge. She indicated the object and made a gesture like closing her fist. _Instructions_, Radek decided. He curled his fingers around the silvery object.

Nothing happened.

Shadow frowned. She tapped his hand and he let go of the pendant, allowing it to slide between his fingers and land beside him on the blanket. Shadow scooped it up and closed her own hand around it.

She vanished.

"Oh!" Radek exclaimed, delighted with his sudden revelation about what was going on. The girl's pendant must contain a similar technology to that which enabled the puddlejumpers to be cloaked, and if Shadow could make the device work just by touching it, then she must have the ATA gene. "Yes, yes this makes sense. It was how you were able to come through Stargate without being seen, too, wasn't it?"

Shadow popped back into view, exactly in the spot where she'd disappeared. She offered the pendant to Radek. He accepted it, even though he knew he couldn't make it work. Not for the first time, he wished he had the gene that would enable him to use Ancient technology like this. He didn't have the ATA gene naturally, and Dr, Beckett's gene therapy hadn't been successful on him, so he knew how fruitless it was to wish. Still…

Shadow put her hand over the device, and interlaced her fingers with Radek's. Radek felt a slight tingling sensation against his palm, and before he had time wonder what that meant, he witnessed both the girl and his own hand become invisible. No, not just his hand. _All _of him. It was an odd, disorienting situation to be able to feel, hear and see his surroundings, but not to be able to see his own body when he looked down.

When Shadow released his hand and they both reappeared, she was grinning mischievously at him. She took the pendant, somehow sealed the two halves together again, and replaced the cord around her neck.

"No matter what, please do not let Dr. McKay play with this. No one here is ready for invisible Rodney," Radek said. He smiled at Shadow and amended, "Okay, perhaps _you_ are ready. I think you like strange adventures. You like to test limits, yes?"

She didn't answer him, but then he had not expected her to. Her only response was to creep up beside him and snuggle against his side. She settled her head on his shoulder, and shut her eyes. Radek knew he probably shouldn't let her do that, but he didn't have the heart to tell her to move. She was a comfortable and comforting presence, and the truth was, he liked having her there. He let his own eyelids droop, and thought no more about the consequences of falling asleep next to a pretty, curious alien woman.

-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-

When Carson returned to the Infirmary he was surprised to discover Shadow waiting for him in his office. He thought she would still be with Rodney, or else exploring the city on her own. He had not expected to find her sitting at his desk, composing a message for him. As soon as she saw him, she hopped off the chair and hurried toward him to show him what she'd written.

_«The River Man is sleeping. He is well. I have something I wish you to see. Will you explain zero point module?»_

It took Carson a long time to decipher everything, and just as long to compose his answer. _«Healer not know zero point module. See what?»_

Shadow smiled fondly when she read his clumsy reply, and Carson got the distinct impression she pitied him in his illiteracy. Maybe where she came from, everyone was fluent in the language of the Ancients. With all the Ancient writing in Atlantis, she probably thought everyone here should be able to read and write it, too. Then and there, Carson decided he needed to practice his Ancient language skills. He wouldn't use the old excuses that he had neither the time nor the aptitude for it. He lived in the city of the Ancients, so he reasoned he ought to have more than a passing acquaintance with their words.

Shadow wrote, _«I want to show you the stars of many worlds.»_

Carson wasn't sure he understood exactly what she meant, but he supposed he'd find out soon enough. Shadow crossed the room and lifted a small metallic-looking box from the top of Carson's desk. Carson wondered where the thing had come from and what it was for. Shadow must have found it somewhere, because it certainly didn't belong in the Infirmary.

Shadow put the box on the floor. She knelt beside the object and placed her palms on either side of it. Carson watched, fascinated, as a holographic display appeared above the box and filled the office with a soft light. All at once, Carson remembered where he'd seen something like this before. There was a room in Atlantis that was a sort of repository of history. The holographic projection in that room showed the stars of the Pegasus galaxy and traced the progress of the Ancients' battle for control against the Wraith. The image glowing in the middle of Carson's office looked very much like the diagram in that other room.

Fast on the heels of that observation, Carson had another startling insight. If Shadow could make the holographic projector work, she must have the gene. He wondered if it was as rare among her people as it was among his. Maybe if Colonel Sheppard and his team located the village Shadow had mentioned, they would find out. Carson imagined they would find out a lot of things if they reached that village.

Shadow removed her hands from the box, and the holographic image faded away. She reclaimed her pencil and demanded:

_«Take me to your Leader. I have many questions to ask.»_

Carson shook his head in wonder. When Elizabeth heard about everything that had happened this afternoon, the Leader would probably have a few questions of her own.

**TBC  
--------------------**

**A/N #2 --** gah...today the breeder and I both realized 4 September is a holiday, so now Grace will either be coming home on the 5th or 6th instead. I bought fabric to sew a cushion for Grace's dog bed. The dog bed is an antique wicker dog basket which my mother found at somebody's garage sale. It'll go well in my room next to my antique nursing rocker which I bought a few years ago at somebody else's garage sale. Okay...so the dog bed isn't exactly a cradle, but then Grace isn't exactly a child, either.

Erm...yes...now that I've bored you all to death with that bit of minutiae... Next part of the story should be posted tomorrow night, with any luck.**  
**


	12. Discernment

**DISCLAIMER – **I do not own _Stargate: Atlantis_. It is the property of MGM/UA and associated companies. I just happen to like playing with it, but I promise I'll put it back in one piece when I'm done! I'm writing this story for fun and entertainment, not for profit. The exchange of money is not involved in any way.

**RATING – **Story rated T

**SPOILERS – **Anything up to the end of Season 2 is fair game.

**A/N – **Again, I'd like to say thanks to everyone who left me comments on the last chapter. Reefgirl & NenyaVilyaNenya, your consistency in replying is awesome! Also, **flubber**, thanks very much for your insightful PM. I sent you a reply to it already. Anyway, I hope everyone who's reading is still enjoying this. I'm still having fun with it.

Anything in «double-angle quotation marks» represents something written in Ancient.

Still no beta. Blame me for any mistakes.

* * *

**The Song Of Silent Rivers**

**12. Discernment**

"This is remarkable," Elizabeth said. "It's really amazing."

Elizabeth was sitting at a table in the mess hall with Carson and Shadow. She was looking at the pictures Shadow had made of various plants and animals on her homeworld. Shadow had written something next to each picture, usually a warning about the real-life danger presented by the things she'd drawn. Shadow had explained she wasn't finished making pictures, yet. Elizabeth wondered how many hidden perils there were on Shadow's world.

Elizabeth and Shadow had started their conversation that afternoon in Elizabeth's office. Elizabeth was surprised when Carson had showed up with the deaf woman and had explained that Shadow insisted on seeing her. Shadow wanted to ask about zero point modules, of all things. Elizabeth was sorry she couldn't explain the ZPM as well as the scientists could have. Evidently, Shadow had wanted to know more about it than what it looked like and what it was for. She actually wanted to know how it worked. Shadow would have to ask Rodney for that information, but as it turned out, Shadow didn't care to ask Rodney anything. 'Answer Man' was a funny person, Shadow had been quick to point out; a big child, a playmate. How could he know about important things like zero point modules?

Rodney would be incensed if he knew what Shadow thought of him. Elizabeth could just imagine the Canadian scientist's face if he ever found out Shadow considered him no more intelligent or mature than a child. Of course, Rodney did tend to behave like a kid, so maybe it was an honest mistake on Shadow's part. Elizabeth had decided on the spot, that was the explanation she'd go with, if anyone wanted to know. Most of the time, diplomacy was all about putting a spin on things.

_«Ask the River Man about zero point modules,» _Elizabeth had told Shadow. She'd previously learned this was how Shadow referred to Radek. _«He understands machines.»_

_«He understands much. He is very wise,» _Shadow had replied.

The look on the deaf woman's face when she'd written that particular statement had been difficult to interpret, but Elizabeth fancied she saw something more than admiration in Shadow's eyes.

At some point, Shadow had stopped asking questions of Elizabeth, and had announced to Carson that it was time to eat. Carson had laughed at that. Apparently, in Shadow's quality world, _any_ time was a good time to eat, especially if there were new, alien foods for her to try. She never seemed to consume very much at a time, which might have explained why she liked to eat so frequently, Carson had said. He thought the pattern was probably consistent with the way she'd been living on her world, eating what she wanted, when she wanted, with no discernible routine.

What Shadow wanted right now was blue Jell-o. She seemed unconcerned by the fact that Elizabeth was still looking at her pictures, and impatient with Carson for trying to coax her into finishing her sandwich _before_ eating dessert.

"'Remarkable' must be the word of the week," Carson said.

"I can't think of another word to describe this," said Elizabeth. She touched Shadow's picture of a forest cat. "It's so detailed. it looks like it could leap off the page. All of these drawings are just…_remarkable_. I'd really like to see one of these creatures in real life, wouldn't you?"

"Aye, from a distance, perhaps," Carson said. He smiled. "I wouldn't be detecting an adventurous streak in you, would I, Dr. Weir?"

"We wouldn't be out here if we didn't all have an adventurous streak in us," Elizabeth said. "If we weren't adventurous, we wouldn't be explorers. We'd never get to see anything _really_ interesting."

"Do you think man-eating forest cats are interesting, then?"

"From a distance," said Elizabeth.

She was rewarded with a laugh from Carson. "I think you and Shadow must have a lot in common. She's a great one for exploring the unknown, too, and I expect she'd agree with you about the forest cats."

Elizabeth watched Shadow eating her Jell-o. At the moment, the deaf woman looked less like an interstellar explorer and more like a mischievous child. Shadow picked up the little cubes of Jell-o in her fingers and peered curiously at each cube before popping it into her mouth. When she noticed she was being watched, she offered one the blue cubes to Elizabeth.

Elizabeth accepted the Jell-o and, ignoring any misgivings she might have had, ate it before it melted in her hand. Shadow was delighted. She reached across the table and reclaimed her notebook.

_«It is like eating the sky,» _she wrote. _«We can imagine it is night when we have eaten it all.»_

_«Shadow, are we playing a game?» _Elizabeth asked.

_«Yes. Do you understand games, Leader?»_

_«Yes.»_

_«You have lived for many seasons,»_ Shadow wrote. _«My people do not understand games when they have lived for so many seasons. You are different.»_

_«We are different,»_ Elizabeth acknowledged.

_«I am different also. My people did not understand me.»_

_«Why?»_

_«My knowledge,»_ Shadow told her. _«Only my father and the Elders understood. Now, the Healer and the River Man understand.»_

_«May I show your words to the Healer now?»_ Elizabeth wrote.

Shadow seemed to think it over before she composed her answer. _«You may show him.» _

While Shadow played with her Jell-o and pulled the crust off her sandwich, Elizabeth explained to Carson what the written conversation had been about. She asked Carson, "What sort of knowledge do you think she means?"

"She might be talking about the gene," Carson said. "That'd certainly clear up some of the questions I've got. If only her father and the Elders know about her 'knowledge', it's probably safe to say the ATA gene is just as rare among her people as it is with us. I expect Shadow is a particularly gifted person among her people."

"I have the feeling Shadow's people might not see that gift in the same light as we do," Elizabeth said.

"What makes you say that?"

"If having the gene makes her special among her people, why wouldn't they all know about it? What reason would there be for restricting the knowledge among only a few individuals?"

"Perhaps the Elders believed the other villagers wouldn't understand it. Maybe they thought it'd be too hard to explain. She did say only her father and the Elders _understood_."

"Yes," Elizabeth said. "And a natural reaction to something we don't understand is—"

"Fear," Carson said.

"Fear," Elizabeth echoed. "Carson, I think Shadow's people are afraid of her."

Elizabeth followed Carson's gaze as he looked at Shadow. She had disassembled her sandwich and was happily eating the bread. She swung her feet under the table, blithely unaware of the sound she created when her heels made contact with the legs of her chair. Elizabeth imagined she saw a carefree child in the body of a young woman. It was a mystery how anyone could be afraid of Shadow, unless they happened to be afraid of children.

Elizabeth grimaced inwardly when that notion crossed her mind. A few days ago, hadn't she herself been afraid of Shadow? She'd been ready to take Rodney's suggestion that Shadow should be kept confined, but that was before she _understood_. The implications of that made a chill run the length of Elizabeth's spine. If the people of Shadow's village had reacted the same way Elizabeth had, what must the young woman's life have been like on her homeworld? Elizabeth didn't want to think about it.

Elizabeth was drawn out of her contemplation by a light tap on her hand. Shadow was trying to get her attention, attempting to show her a message.

_«Leader, will you play another game?»_

_«Yes,» _Elizabeth agreed. _«Which game shall we play, Shadow?»_

_«Hide and seek_,» was the reply.

Elizabeth glanced at Carson and raised her eyebrows. "She wants to play hide and seek. Did you teach her that?"

"No," Carson said. "She knew that game long before she ever met any of us."

"Really? That's remark—" Elizabeth began to say, but the sentence ended abruptly in a gasp when Shadow suddenly vanished. "Where did she go?"

"She's still here…I think."

"What do you mean, 'you think'?"

"Oh dear," Carson said. He shook his head. "Shadow's got a neat ability to make herself disappear. I knew there was some wee detail I'd forgotten to mention to you."

"What are we supposed to do now?"

"Find her, of course," Carson said. "The lass did say she wanted to play hide and seek."

-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-

Shadow was sorry she had misjudged the Leader when they'd first met. She was glad they understood each other now, because the Leader could communicate with her better than anyone else she'd met in this strange place so far. The Leader understood many things, and she turned out to be very good at playing games. Shadow was a little disappointed the Leader had not been able to explain the mysterious zero point module. The Leader had said River Man would know all about it, and Shadow ought to ask him. Shadow wondered why the zero point module was so important to these people. They wanted to find one, and they thought there might be one on her world. Shadow understood the device generated power, but she could not comprehend why the Leader and her people needed any more power than they already had. Everything in the city functioned. Even the machines that were not of the Ancestors' design appeared to work well, though Shadow could not be entirely sure what their true function was. Perhaps she would ask River Man about that, too.

When the Leader and the Healer tired of playing games with her, Shadow left them and went to explore the city on her own. Now that she wasn't running, she took the time to observe her surroundings more carefully. She found her way outside, and watched the sky and the sea until the sun went down and the stars appeared. The stars did not look quite the same over this world as they did above hers. It felt strange to be standing in this treeless place. The sea was beautiful, but Shadow missed her river and her trees, and she was cold.

The Leader had said they would go to her world tomorrow. Shadow would be happy to return there with her new friends. She would show them the hidden place of the Ancestors. Maybe they would find the zero point module, and Shadow would finally see how it worked.

Shadow began to shiver when a breeze from the sea blew across her face. The air was salty and wet, like tears, except tears would not have been so cold. She went inside again, and hurried to the place where the Healer did his work. It would be warmer there.

She found River Man still resting in his bed when she arrived at the Healer's place. River Man was reading a book. The book's cover was printed with symbols Shadow did not recognize. He seemed very interested in what was inside the book, and Shadow wanted to know what could hold his attention so firmly. She climbed up beside him. He was warm, and she was very cold, so she nestled against his side.

He gave her a startled look, and she felt the vibration of his voice when he spoke to her. She hadn't meant to startle him. She'd only been curious about his book. She peered at the pages, but only saw more of the strange symbols. She frowned.

River Man closed the book and placed it in his lap. He held out one hand and pretended to write on his palm with the forefinger of his other hand. Shadow understood. He wanted to talk with her. She knew where to find paper and a writing instrument. She slid down from the bed and went to fetch them. A minute later, she was settled comfortably beside River Man again.

_«It is called 'War and Peace',»_ River Man wrote. He touched the book on his lap.

_«Is it about the Ancestors and the Wraith?»_ Shadow wanted to know.

River Man laughed. Shadow loved that she could feel his laughter when she leaned close. She loved his smile, too. When River Man smiled at her, Shadow felt an odd fluttering in her chest, like the wings of a hundred tiny birds.

He accepted the writing instrument from her and wrote, _«No, it is not about the Wraith. It is a story from my world.»_

_«Is this not your world?»_

_«No. My world is called Earth. It is in a galaxy far away.»_

_«Some day, I would like to see your world,» _Shadow wrote. _«Tomorrow, the Leader says we are going to my world. Will you come with me?»_

_«I am sorry. I cannot come with you.»_

Shadow thought he seemed sad when he told her that. He must have been thinking about what had taken place the first time he'd been on her world. She wanted to reassure him things would be different this time. She would be there to help him. She wouldn't let anything happen to him.

_«I want to show you my world,» _she told him._ «Are you afraid of the river? I will keep you safe.»_

_«Yes, I am afraid of the river, but that is not the reason I cannot come with you,» _he replied

_«What is the reason?»_ she asked.

_«You are leaving tomorrow. I am not well enough to go with you.»_

_«We will wait,» _Shadow wrote

_«No.»_

_«Yes,» _Shadow insisted. _«We will wait until you are well. Your people will not go without me. I will tell the Leader I will not go without you.»_

-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-

Radek lay awake long after Shadow had fallen asleep beside him. He had tried his best to explain why he couldn't come with her to her planet. There were so many reasons, he couldn't even begin to list them all. The most obvious reason was that Elizabeth would probably refuse to let him go, even if he asked. Of course, he couldn't go offworld _tomorrow_. Carson would never permit that. Radek didn't think he was feeling up to another offworld adventure just yet, anyway.

All Shadow's arguments were moot, though Radek had been unable to prevent her from making them. He hadn't had much success in convincing Shadow of _anything_ tonight. He couldn't even talk her into sleeping in her own bed. Radek imagined Carson would be displeased when he found Shadow sleeping next to him, but what could Radek do? There were some debates he just could not win.

Arguing with Shadow about the merits of sleeping in separate beds had been an exercise in ineffectuality. She didn't understand why he wanted her to sleep somewhere else. She was cold. Shouldn't she be permitted to sleep in a warm place? _Yes, but that is not the point_, he'd told her. Despite his best efforts to explain, she failed to grasp what the point actually _was_, because she had no concept of propriety. All of Radek's careful reasoning had fallen, quite literally, on deaf ears.

Radek smiled ruefully. The only part of their conversation that had satisfied Shadow was Radek's explanation of the ZPM. She didn't tell him why she wanted to know about it, and Radek hadn't asked. Shadow was in such a peculiar mood this evening that Radek guessed she might not have told him even if he had inquired.

He listened to the noises of the Infirmary, the familiar hum of nearby machines, and the regular rhythm of Shadow's breathing. Shadow stirred in her sleep. Her hand moved in a kind of slow motion and she caught a fistful of the blanket. Radek wondered if she was dreaming. Judging by the way the muscles of her hand tightened around the white fabric she held, her dream was not a pleasant one.

Without even thinking about it, Radek rested his own hand on top of Shadow's closed fist. Her hand seemed small and frail compared to his, fragile, like the wing of a small bird. He felt an almost tangible need to protect her. He hadn't felt that way about anyone in a long time.

After a few minutes, Shadow's hand relaxed beneath Radek's fingers, and Radek began to feel tension leave his own body which, up to that point, he hadn't even realized was there. Inside his head, part of his consciousness demanded to know, w_hat in God's name have I gotten myself into?_ He wished he had an answer that made sense. Tonight, however, had not turned out to be his night for coming up with satisfactory answers.

Perhaps his perspective on the situation would improve by morning. He hoped fervently that it would, because he was going to have trouble looking Elizabeth in the eye tomorrow if it did not.

**TBC**

**--------------------**


	13. Uncertainty

**DISCLAIMER – **_Stargate: Atlantis_ does not belong to me. It is the property of MGM/UA and associates. No exchange of money has been involved in the creation of this story. I am doing this for fun and entertainment, not for profit. Please…don't sue! (I'll be good, I promise…)

**RATING – **Story rated T

**SPOILERS – **Anything up to the final episode of Season 2 is fair game.

**A/N – **First off, I want to say thanks to those of you who continue to post comments and replies to my writing. You're all fabulous and you encourage me more than you may realize. Secondly, my apologies for not updating this story as soon as I would've liked to. Real Life happened, and I had to go out of town with my grandparents. My grandfather is mobility impaired and he needs a lot of personal help. Anyway, I am back now! I am volunteering with a youth program this week, so if I don't update often, that's why.

Anything in «double-angle quotation marks» represents something written in Ancient.

Any blocks of text that are in present tense and _italicized_ are flashback scenes.

There's some Czech in this chapter, but as always, I've put the translations at the end for you.

I have no beta. Blame me for any mistakes. :P

* * *

**The Song Of Silent Rivers**

**13. Uncertainty**

Radek sank facedown on his bed and buried his head in the pillow.

So far, Radek's day wasn't going according to his plan. The morning had started out well when Carson had examined him and declared him fit enough to leave the Infirmary. In accordance with Carson's directions, Radek intended to do nothing more strenuous than take a walk around the city before he returned to his own quarters for some peace and quiet. He could get back to work tomorrow, Carson had assured him, and Radek was fine with that. To his knowledge, there were no tasks to be done that couldn't wait another day.

The situation had begun to deteriorate at breakfast when Radek realized he hadn't thought about how Shadow would figure in his plan for the day. He'd assumed – perhaps a bit naïvely – that Shadow would want to explore the city on her own for a little while before it was time for her to join Colonel Sheppard and his team. Radek told himself now, he should have known better. The deaf woman had lived up to her name and had followed him everywhere, from the moment he'd left the Infirmary.

It wasn't that he didn't want her around. The problem was that trying to keep up with her was utterly exhausting, both mentally and physically. Radek had tried to talk her into finding someone else to answer her questions, but Shadow seemed single-minded about staying with him, no matter how much persuasiveness he applied. As it turned out, Shadow's determination to stay with Radek included her absolute refusal to go back to her world.

_«I will not return unless you come with me,» _Shadow had told him.

Radek felt as if he were reliving the previous night's conversation with her as he had attempted to explain why he couldn't accompany her and why it was in everyone's best interests that she should go with Colonel Sheppard – or 'Black Hawk' as Shadow referred to him. Shadow had heeded none of it. In the end, she had informed Radek that if he would not go, she would not go, and there was nothing anyone could do about it.

_«You are behaving like a child, Shadow.»_ he'd scolded her.

_«I do not care.»_

_«The Leader will be displeased.»_

_«I do not care.»_

_«If you continue to argue with me, I will be displeased,»_ Radek had written.

That statement was the one which had ended their conversation. With a glare to rival anything Rodney McKay could conjure up, Shadow had flung her pencil at Radek, jumped up from the spot where she'd been sitting, and scurried out the door.

Radek hadn't known what to do. His first impulse had been to go after her, but he'd rejected that idea fairly quickly. If she decided to disappear, he'd never find her anyway. He'd finally decided the best thing to do was to wait. Perhaps she would think things over and come back in a much more reasonable frame of mind. Maybe, when Shadow returned, Radek would be in a more reasonable frame of mind, too.

With his face still hidden in his pillow, he shut his eyes and tried to think calm thoughts.

-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-

"_Keep your eyes closed, Radek. Don't open them until I tell you."_

_Radek is tired. He doesn't feel like playing, but Jirina is the one holding his hand and insisting that he shouldn't open his eyes, so he humours her. He always plays along with Jirina's little games, though sometimes he does not know why. All Radek wants right now is to go to his room and try to pretend the past week never happened. He could never have imagined such a dreadful week. He just wants to hide from everyone and try to forget how miserable he is. _

_What had made the week so dreadful was that he'd been in the hospital. Worse yet, Tuesday had been Radek's eleventh birthday and he couldn't even remember it because he'd spent most of it sleeping. He knows it was good that the doctors had taken out his appendix, because he really had been very ill, but he cannot reconcile himself to the total _unfairness_ of the whole thing. Radek was supposed to have had a birthday party and Dušana had promised to make a chocolate cake for him. Of course, neither of those things had happened because Radek had been stuck in the hospital on his birthday. _

_Not having cake had been very disappointing, and the only people Radek had for company when he'd been in the hospital were Mother and Dušana. None of his friends had been permitted to visit. To make matters even more unbearable, the doctor told him that because of the operation, he is not allowed to climb or run or jump for the next few weeks. This means he cannot play hockey with Mirek and Alexander and his other friends. Radek can't imagine a winter without hockey. He's sure he'll be extremely bored and unhappy._

"_Why do I have to keep my eyes closed, Jirina?" Radek says. "Can't I just go to my room?"_

"_Not yet," says Jirina._

_Radek feels his father's large hand come to rest on his shoulder. "Careful on the stairs, Radek," Father says. "Jirina, go _slowly_." _

"_I _know_," Jirina says with all the superiority her six-year-old self-confidence gives her. "You worry too much, Mr. Zelenka."_

_Father chuckles. "Maybe I do, but you can't blame me. Radek is my favourite son." _

"_I'm your _only_ son," Radek grumbles. _

_.Radek wants to get away from the utter absurdity of this conversation. What could Jirina possibly understand about the way parents worry over their children? Father has been talking to Jirina this way all afternoon, as if the two of them are equals, as if they are co-conspirators in some grown-up secret. At first, Radek had been very pleased Jirina had come with Father to bring him home from the hospital. Now, he only feels annoyed. He trudges up the front steps slowly, despite the fact that Jirina is pulling tenaciously on his hand. _

_Nobody meets them in the kitchen. Radek had expected Mother to be there. He'd expected Milena and Cousin Dušana, as their lessons should have been over for the day. By this time, Uncle Jaromir should have been home from his job at the university, too. It is odd, how quiet the house seems. Radek wonders where his family might be. _

_Jirina continues to lead him through the house. He knows he's in the living room when he feels the rug beneath his feet. Jirina says, "Okay, Radek. Now you can open your eyes." _

_A split-second before he raises his eyelids, a chorus of voices shouts, "SURPRISE!" _

_Radek stares. He can't help it. His whole family is gathered in the living room. Mirek, Alexander and Tatiana are here. Even Dušana's boyfriend Lukas is here. And there's a cake, decorated with white frosting. Radek doesn't know what to say. He suddenly realizes his mouth is open, but no words will come out. _

_Dušana rescues him by hurrying across the room to give him a hug and kiss him on the forehead. She says, "Happy birthday, Radek. You didn't think we'd forget, did you?" _

"_But…my birthday was…" Radek stammers._

"_Tuesday," says Dušana. "I know, but I promised you a cake." _

"_Thanks." _

_Dušana puts her arm around his shoulders and leads him across the room. He sits in Father's comfortable armchair. Jirina climbs up beside him. There's barely room for both of them in the big chair, but Radek doesn't mind. He's already forgotten about being annoyed at Jirina. _

_Uncle Jaromir comes and places a paper-wrapped package in Radek's lap. He says, "I thought you might like to have this." _

"_What is it?"_

"_Open it and see," says Uncle Jaromir. _

_Radek carefully removes the paper from the package. When he opens the box, he can barely believe what he sees. Inside the box is a chess set, but it's not just any chess set. The pieces are intricately carved and the wood has been polished so it feels as smooth as satin. The pieces are not painted black and white. Half are made of a dark-coloured wood and the other half are carved from pale wood. _

_Radek lifts one of the dark pieces and strokes his thumb along its surface. He's seen this chess set before, and tries to recall where. He can't do anything about the lump that forms in his throat when he remembers. It had been in Uncle Jaromir's old house, the place where he'd lived before he and Dušana came to stay with Radek's family. _

"_Uncle Jaromir, this is…this was Aunt Kveta's, wasn't it?" Radek says softly._

_His uncle nods and says, "Yes."_

"_Thank you," says Radek. _

"_I know chess isn't quite as much fun as hockey, but—"_

"_It's fun, Uncle Jaromir. It's just fun in a different way." _

_Uncle Jaromir smiles and looks pleased. "I knew if anyone would appreciate that, it would be you, Radek," he says. "Later, we can play, but I think your mother and your friends have some other presents for you, first." _

_True to Uncle Jaromir's prediction there are other gifts. Radek appreciates each present, but in his mind, nothing compares to the chess set. He's amazed that his uncle has given it to him, because he knows how Uncle Jaromir treasures the things that used to be Aunt Kveta's. Radek makes a promise to himself that he will keep his aunt's chess set forever, no matter what. Every time he uses it he will think about how it became his. He'll recall how a situation that started out badly turned into something unexpectedly good. _

-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-

Shadow ran, invisible, through the City of the Ancestors. She did not know why she ran. It did not make sense to run away from River Man, for in so doing, she had contradicted her own intention to remain with him. Yet, at the moment she did not wish to be near him and risk his displeasure, so perhaps there was some logic in running after all. _Circles_, she thought. Her thoughts were racing in circles. She felt hurt and angry and confused, and she wanted to weep. She'd found herself fighting tears often since she'd arrived on this strange world. She had lost those battles for control more often than she would have liked.

The City of the Ancestors contained many places to hide. When Shadow finally stopped running, she sought a suitable hiding place where she could think about the tangle of images in her mind. Even in the small space where she curled up at last, she felt the need to remain invisible, and she had to make herself remember to concentrate on remaining concealed. She did not want anyone to find her because then she would have to explain why she did not wish to return to her world today. She was afraid she could not explain in a way these strangers would understand.

In truth, Shadow did want to go back to her homeworld. She missed the animals, the river and the trees. She missed the warmth of her planet's sun. The trouble was, now that she'd met these wonderful, perplexing strangers, she could not go back to her world with the knowledge that once they found their mysterious zero point module, she would never see them again. She had only known them a short time, but she already cared about them. She did not wish to be parted from them, most especially not from River Man, whose life she had saved and whose companionship she had come to cherish far more than the others.

Shadow could not understand why River Man kept saying he could not accompany her to her world. Clearly, he wanted to. He had told her so. The Healer had said he was well, and so he must have been, for the Healer had let him go to his own place today. If he was well and he wanted to come with her, Shadow could not see why he insisted it was impossible.

River Man had said the Leader would be displeased if he accompanied Shadow to her world. This did not make sense to Shadow, either. Were these people not adults? Did adults not get to choose their own path on this world? Of course, the Leader made decisions that would be in the best interest of all her people, and sometimes she must tell others what to do, either for their own protection or for the safety of the village. That was what wise leaders did. Shadow failed to understand, however, why the Leader should even care if River Man came to Shadow's planet. Surely the whole city would not be affected if River Man should leave?

Shadow wanted to speak with the Leader. She wanted to ask the Leader to help her understand the things that were making her feel so bewildered. She was afraid to approach the Leader just now, though, for she did not wish to displease the powerful woman. In Shadow's village, if the leaders had been displeased, the consequences were usually unpleasant.

The best thing to do, Shadow decided, was to remain concealed.

-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-

"_Běh pryč_! I am trying to sleep!"

Radek rarely raised his voice, but now he found himself shouting at the person who had come to his door and dared to interrupt his solitude. He didn't know who was on the other side of the door, but it didn't matter, because all he wanted was to be left alone. He wasn't really trying to get to sleep, of course, but that didn't matter either. Whoever was behind the door did not need to know Radek was nowhere near sleep.

He had too many thoughts racing around in his head to permit him to sleep, not the least of which had to do with Shadow. He'd found it difficult to stop thinking about her since her abrupt departure from his quarters. She seemed incapable of understanding what he'd been trying to explain to her. He told himself that he should have known the conversation would end up frustrating both of them. He hadn't anticipated her running off like she'd done, though. Her reaction reminded him less of a young adult and more of a spoiled child who'd failed to get her own way. In an odd fashion, her behaviour made him think of his nephew Zdeněk, back on Earth.

"Dr. Zelenka?" came a voice from the corridor.

Radek groaned into his pillow when he recognized who the voice belonged to. Normally he'd be thrilled to know Elizabeth had come to his quarters to see him, but at the moment, he didn't feel capable of facing her. Still, he supposed he was obligated to see what she wanted. There was always the chance this was a professional visit and not a personal one. He pushed himself off the bed and ran his fingers through his already messy hair before going to the door.

The moment the door opened, Elizabeth said, "I'm sorry if I disturbed you."

"No, no…is okay," Radek said. He tried to sound casual, though he knew he was failing at it. "Can I do something for you, Dr. Weir?"

"Actually, I'm looking for Shadow," said Elizabeth. "John's team is getting ready to leave for M4X-382, but we can't find Shadow anywhere. Have you seen her?"

"She is not here," Radek said.

"Do you know where she might be?"

"Have you asked Dr. Beckett if he has seen her?"

"Carson thought she was with you."

"_On má ne zde._ Dr. Weir, I have told you already," Radek said. "If she is not with Dr. Beckett, I don't know where else she could be."

Elizabeth stepped across the threshold and the door whispered shut behind her, hiding them from view of anyone who might be passing in the corridor. Radek couldn't help noticing how her appearance changed when the two of them were alone. He could imagine he saw her public persona slip away as if she had removed a mask. He liked the private face of Elizabeth much more than the public face of Dr. Weir. Elizabeth's expression was gentle and her eyes were filled with concern just for him.

"Radek," she said. "Is something wrong?"

He should have been reassured, knowing she was concerned about him, but oddly he was not. Seeing her worry only made him feel more fretful himself. He said, "No, nothing is wrong. I mean, I…I don't know. Nothing is _terribly_ wrong. It's only… _nesnadný až k jasně se vyjádřit_. Complicated."

Elizabeth smiled kindly. "It's all right. You don't have to tell me, if you don't want to. I just thought I might be able to help."

Sometimes, he wished Elizabeth wasn't quite so perceptive. He might resist telling her what was troubling him, but only for a little while. Somehow, she always managed to get him to talk, to tell her the truth even though he didn't want to. He supposed that's what made her a good diplomat. She could always get the stubborn ones to talk, eventually.

"Maybe," he said.

"Maybe I can help, or maybe you don't want to tell me?"

"Maybe I don't know how to tell you, Elizabeth," Radek said. He sighed. "I don't know if you can help."

"I can try."

"I suppose you can try, yes. I'll explain, but maybe it's easier if I show you."

"Show me?"

"Shadow and I…we talked," he said. He crossed the room and lifted Shadow's notebook from the floor where she'd dropped it. He held it out toward Elizabeth. "She says she doesn't want to return to her world."

"And what did you tell her?"

"It's there. Look."

Elizabeth lowered her gaze to the written conversation she held in her hands. Radek watched her, and tried to gauge her reaction, but her face was inscrutable as she read his and Shadow's words. After a few minutes that felt like an eternity to Radek, she finally looked up at him again.

"If I understand correctly, it's not that she doesn't want to go home," Elizabeth said. "It's that she doesn't want to go without _you._"

"Yes," Radek managed to say.

"And you told her you can't go."

"Yes."

"Because you think I won't let you."

Radek twisted his fingers together in agitation. He wanted desperately to be able to look anywhere except at Elizabeth, but he felt utterly compelled not to turn his gaze away. "I didn't think you would, after what happened last time. We found nothing, and I…I was…"

"You were doing your job," Elizabeth said. She caught one of his hands in hers, stilling the frenetic motion of his fingers. "Radek, listen to me. What happened was not your fault. I wouldn't keep you from going offworld again because of it."

"If it hadn't been for me—"

"If it hadn't been for you, we wouldn't have met Shadow, and we might not have gotten a second opportunity to visit her world. We certainly wouldn't have gotten the offer of a guided tour through an Ancient structure."

"But I am liability in the field," he said quietly. "Colonel Sheppard—"

"Colonel Sheppard said he was very impressed with you."

"He said that?"

"He did. He also said he wouldn't mind having you along on another mission, when you're ready to go offworld again."

"Colonel Sheppard? He said that about me?"

"You shouldn't be surprised. You're a very valuable member of this expedition."

"To you, perhaps."

"To _everyone_," Elizabeth said. "You underestimate yourself. Your colleagues have a lot of respect for you, and in my opinion it's well-deserved."

"Thank you."

Elizabeth smiled and interlaced her fingers more securely with his. "I'm really glad you agreed to come to Atlantis with us."

"Me too," Radek said. He returned the smile, somewhat tentatively. "However, sometimes I wonder what I'm doing here."

"You're exploring," Elizabeth told him. "That's what we're all doing here, Radek. We're learning new things and widening our experiences. If I know you, lack of curiosity isn't one of your shortcomings, so that makes you an explorer too, even if you don't really consider yourself one."

"Shouldn't an explorer be brave?"

"You are."

"But, I—"

"Trust me. You are one of the bravest people I know," Elizabeth said. "That's one of the things I admire about you."

Radek could feel his face growing hot. He bowed his head, trying to hide what was surely an expression of embarrassment. "You praise me far too much."

"I don't think I praise you enough. It still makes you blush."

"_Zastavit žertování s mne_."

"I'm not teasing you, I promise. God forbid you should ever have an ego like _certain_ people around here, but you really do need to work on accepting compliments," Elizabeth said. She gave his hand another quick, affectionate squeeze before finally letting go. "Do you feel up to taking a walk?"

"Where are we going?"

"I think we need to find Shadow."

"I'm not certain Shadow wants to be found," Radek said. "I will walk with you, though."

For that, he was rewarded with a brilliant smile from Elizabeth. He liked Elizabeth's smile, especially when it was directed at him. Somehow, he always felt a little better when she smiled at him this way. It made him think of hot tea on rainy afternoons, and kisses from his mother on a bruised knee or elbow when he'd been a small child. _Comforting_, he thought. Elizabeth had a comforting smile.

True, his day hadn't been going exactly according to his plan, but perhaps things were staring to improve.

**TBC  
----------------**

_Běh pryč!_ – Go away!  
_On má ne zde_ – She is not here  
_nesnadný až k jasně se vyjádřit _– difficult to explain  
_Zastavit žertování s mne_ – stop joking with me


	14. Hide And Seek

**DISCLAIMER – **_Stargate: Atlantis_ is not my property. It belongs to MGM/UA and associates. I am writing this story for fun and entertainment, not for profit.

**RATING – **Story rated T

**SPOILERS – **Everything up to the final episode of Season 2 is fair game.

**A/N – ** Thank you once again to each person who replied to the last chapter. The comments are awesome. (I love comments. hehe) Erm...okay...if this chapter looks incomplete, it's because Chapter 14 and Chapter 15 should probably have been posted as one. The problem is, they'd make for a wicked long post if they were together, and besides, I'm not quite finished tweaking Chapter 15 yet (and I still need a decent chapter title for it.) So, anyway, please forgive me if you think Chapter 14 cuts off a bit abruptly. At any rate, I hope you will all enjoy reading this chapter. Oo…and **flubber**, the chess set is dedicated to you!

Any blocks of text that are written in present tense and _italicized_ are flashback scenes.

Anything in «double-angle quotation marks» represents something written in Ancient.

Beta-less as ever. All mistakes are courtesy of me. :P

* * *

**The Song Of Silent Rivers**

**14. Hide And Seek**

"You're kidding, right? Are you saying the mission is off?"

John Sheppard knew he was in for a difficult day when he and his team were preparing to leave for their mission to M4X-382, and he was interrupted by a call from Elizabeth. The expedition leader had wanted John and his team to meet her in the briefing room. That, in John's experience, was never a good thing to have happen just before a mission. An unexpected meeting in the briefing room was usually the forerunner of trouble of one sort or another.

John should have been able to guess the trouble with this mission would be Shadow. Before the gathering in the briefing room, the last John had seen of Elizabeth was when she'd been on her way to the Infirmary to find the deaf woman. Apparently, Elizabeth had been on the proverbial wild goose chase. Now, John's team, plus Elizabeth and Dr. Zelenka, were in the briefing room discussing the erstwhile mission.

"No, John, the mission isn't off," Elizabeth was saying. "It's just been postponed until further notice."

"Seriously?"

"John—"

"Sheppard, does she look like she's joking to you?" Rodney said.

"The guided mission can hardly proceed without the native guide, can it?" said Elizabeth. "You won't be returning to M4X-382 without Shadow, and at the moment we can't find her, so the mission is being delayed."

"Why can't you find her?" John asked. "I thought she was supposed to have been with Carson."

It was Zelenka who answered him. The Czech engineer spoke very quietly. "I think Shadow is hiding."

"On _purpose_?"

"Yes," Zelenka said.

"Okay, don't tell me why. I'm not even going to go there," said John. He was sure the answer would be something he'd wish he hadn't heard, anyway. "So, what are we supposed to do?"

"What we need to do at the moment is concentrate on finding Shadow," said Elizabeth.

"How are we supposed to find a woman who has an Ancient device that can make her invisible?" Ronon wanted to know.

"Could we use the life signs detector to help us locate her?" Elizabeth asked.

"No," said Rodney. "That won't work."

"Why not?" said Ronon.

"Because the life signs detector can't identify specific individuals, that's why," Rodney said. "It knows we're humans, but it can't tell which human is which. She would just show up as one of a couple hundred life signs in the city. We'd never find her that way."

"If Shadow is using Ancient device to make her invisible, life signs detector would not work, anyway," Zelenka added. "It did not detect her on the planet."

"Right," said John. "I forgot about that."

"So, what are we supposed to do?" Ronon said, repeating John's earlier question.

"I do not think we can _do_ anything," said Teyla. "We could search all over the city and we may still be unable to find her. I believe when she is ready to be found, she will show herself. The most logical course of action might simply be to wait."

-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-

Radek listened to the wind, and the sound of waves breaking against Atlantis. By now, he'd begun to learn the ocean's moods, and he was almost as adept at predicting an approaching storm as some of his friends who had grown up beside the oceans of Earth. He knew it would rain before morning, and wondered if there would be thunder and lightning as well. He'd always been fascinated by lightning. Sometimes, during a storm here in Atlantis, a flash of lightning could illuminate the night sky almost to the brightness of day. It was beautiful and powerful and dangerous, the perfect complement for the equally awesome and perilous ocean.

Thoughts of the coming storm made Radek restless. Ever since the first severe weather system they'd experienced here, he'd developed a tendency toward nervous energy in anticipation of bad weather. He felt as if he needed to _do_ something, despite the fact there was nothing for him to do. The feeling was particularly strong tonight. He guessed the impending rain wasn't the only factor contributing to his unsettled mood.

He'd spent the afternoon looking for Shadow, even though he'd known it was pointless. She could be anywhere in Atlantis. It frustrated him to think he might have walked past her a dozen times without being able to see her. The situation was further hindered by the fact that Shadow could not hear him if he called for her. She would have to come out of hiding eventually, he told himself. She would want to eat and sleep. One thing he couldn't stop worrying about was that Shadow might be lost somewhere, unable to find her way back to the inhabited part of the city. She was used to navigating through the trees. Atlantis wasn't exactly Shadow's sub-tropical forest.

The thought of Shadow wandering through some empty part of the city at night gave him a particular feeling of anxiety. Anything could happen to her. There were parts of the city the expedition members hadn't even explored yet, and no one knew what sort of danger might be waiting for an unsuspecting person to stumble upon it. Shadow's ability to operate the Ancient devices didn't make matters any better. In Radek's opinion, that only increased the likelihood of her getting into trouble.

Radek paced around his room, marking time with his footsteps. He wanted to walk through the corridors instead, wanted to search for Shadow despite being convinced already that he wouldn't see her. It would be just like when he was a boy, ghost-hunting with Dušana in the lower streets of Prague. All he and his cousin had ever done was chase shadows in the Mala Strana. He caught himself smiling at the irony of that thought – _chasing a shadow –_ for that was exactly the thing he sought to do now. If Dušana were here, she would have laughed at him. Then, of course, she would have linked arms with him and joined him in his search.

He missed Dušana. Of all the people he loved, Dušana was the one who'd always returned his love in equal measure. Sometimes, she'd seemed like more of a mother to him than his own real mother. He could not remember a time during his childhood when Dušana hadn't been there to play games with him, listen to his problems, help him with his lessons or give him advice. Even when they were both adults, she continued to be his confidante. The hardest thing to do when he'd left for Atlantis had been saying goodbye to Dušana. He'd wanted to tell her where he was going, but he could not. _Lost_, he thought. His cousin must have thought he was lost, just as surely as he believed Shadow was lost.

He wished vainly that he and Dušana could be together now. She would have known how to calm him, what to say and what to do. He could have benefited from her practical wisdom tonight.

Radek moved across the room to where his chess set rested in its box on the shelf. Most of the time he still thought of it as Aunt Kveta's chess set, even though it had belonged to him since Uncle Jaromir had given it to him for his eleventh birthday. He hadn't been able to bring many non-essential items with him to the Pegasus galaxy, so he'd had to choose carefully, but each time he remembered how he'd gotten this chess set he was glad he hadn't left it behind on Earth.

He opened the box and lifted one of the dark-coloured knights from its place. The small, delicately-carved horse had been handled far more than any of the other pieces. The wood was sleek in spots because it had been stroked so frequently by Radek's restless fingers. The solid little object reassured him, soothed him. It reminded him of times when he felt safe and peaceful; made him think of Earth and Prague and home.

He rubbed the smooth wood with his thumb, allowing his mind to be lulled into quietness by the rhythm of each stroke.

-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-

"_Checkmate." _

_Radek pulls his gaze away from the window and looks at the chessboard. His mind is not on the game. If he'd been concentrating, he knows he would have been able to win the match easily. He's been playing against Jirina, and she has only known how to play chess since this summer. Radek studies the pieces on the board and sees Jirina has, in fact, defeated him. _

"_Congratulations," he says. _

_Sitting on the floor across from him, Jirina's brown eyes are bright with triumph. "This is the first time I've ever won against you, Radek," she says. "It means I'm getting better at this, right?"_

"_Yes," he says. _

"_Are you mad because I won?"_

"_No. I'm not mad," says Radek. _

_He looks out the window again. Snow has been falling for hours, getting steadily heavier. Radek thinks about Father and Uncle Jaromir and he wonders where they are. He knows they're probably being hindered by the storm, but something tells him even the snow would not delay them this long. They were supposed to have been home hours ago. _

_Jirina reaches across the chessboard and touches Radek's hand. She says, "If you're not mad, what's the matter?"_

"_I'm thinking."_

"_About what?"_

"_Father and Uncle Jaromir. They went to visit my grandmother."_

"_Is your grandmother still sick?" _

"_Mother says she might be dying," Radek admits. _

_He doesn't like to imagine Babička being so sick that she might die, and he doesn't really want to talk about it with Jirina. She is only nine years old, and she doesn't need to know about weighty things like death. Radek wishes he could be Jirina's age again so people would shield him from the harsher truths of life, but he knows he can never return to that state of innocence. He is fourteen. He's nearly a man. Sometimes he feels proud of his nearly-grown-up status, but today isn't one of those days. _

_He picks up one of the dark-coloured knights from the chessboard and strokes the small wooden horse with his thumb. The motion of his fingers on the wood helps him clear his mind. _

"_You're going to rub the varnish off," Jirina says. _

"_I know."_

"_I'm sorry about your grandmother." _

'_Me too," Radek says. _

"_Your father will be home soon." _

_Radek says nothing. He sits perfectly still except for the motion of the hand that is still holding the dark knight. He can feel Jirina's gaze on him. He wants her to stop staring, but he doesn't know how to tell her without sounding mean. _

_He is saved from this dilemma when his cousin Dušana appears in the doorway of the living room. Dušana is wearing her apron, and there's flour on it. Her curly hair escapes in all directions from her long braid. She seems unworried, and Radek momentarily envies her for her apparent lack of anxiety._

"_Jirina, your mother is here," Dušana tells them. "She says it's time for you to go home." _

"_Do I have to?" says Jirina._

_Dušana smiles. "Yes, I think you do." _

"_All right." Jirina gets up and starts toward the door. "I'll see you tomorrow, Radek. You're still going to take me and Milena skating tomorrow afternoon, right?"_

"_I'll take you," Radek says. "I'll have to think about whether or not Milena can come." _

"_Radek!" Dušana scolds him. "Of course you're going to take Milena. We'll see you tomorrow, Jirina. You'd better go, before your mother gets impatient." _

"_Okay," Jirina says. _

_Radek watches Jirina leave the room. When she's gone, he turns his attention back to the window. Dušana crosses the room and sits on the floor beside him. She puts her arms around him, and only then does he realize she is just as worried as he is. Dušana knows how to conceal her fears better than he does, that's all. Heedless of the flour on her apron, Radek leans into his cousin's embrace and rests his head against her shoulder. They stay like that for a long time before either of them speaks. _

"_It's getting dark," Dušana says. _

"_Remember when I was really small?" says Radek. "I used to be afraid of the dark."_

"_It wasn't so much the dark as the monsters in your closet." _

"_They were scary, you know, even if they weren't real." _

"_I know," says Dušana. "Aunt Magdaléna taught you that poem to chase them off." _

"_Do you still remember it? Mother's poem, I mean."_

"_Yes," says Dušana, she chants the silly poem. _

"_It doesn't work the way it used to," Radek says softly, when she is done. "I guess it's because we're growing up." _

_His cousin tightens her arms around him and buries her face in his hair. _

"_Radek, Radek…" Dušana murmurs his name in a singsong lilt against the top of his head. "I wish we didn't have to grow up. I wish we could stay just exactly as we used to be, when we could chase away the scary monsters with a rhyme. Growing up isn't any fun when the monsters are grown up, too." _

_Radek is quiet for a moment, contemplating what his cousin has said. "Maybe we need a grown up rhyme, Dušana," he suggests at last._

"_Maybe," she says._

"_I think I know why the rhyme worked so well when I was little." _

"_Why?"_

"_Because we were always together. You always said the rhyme with me." _

"_I love you, Radek. You know that, don't you?" Dušana holds him tight and kisses the top of his head. "We don't need a new rhyme. As long as we're together, we don't really need a rhyme at all." _

-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-

Darkness had descended on the City of the Ancestors by the time Shadow finally emerged from her hiding place. She sensed that it was night, even before she crept from her place and found her way to one of the city's many balconies. The sea looked black and foreboding. The sky was covered with clouds that hid the stars. Something innate in Shadow's consciousness told her that a storm was coming, and she was afraid. She had seen storms blow the calm waters of a lake into an angry froth. She did not wish to see what a furious wind would do to the ocean.

Shadow was so cold she could not stop shivering. She felt tired, too, and very hungry. She thought about the last time she'd eaten, and realized she had not consumed any food or water since that morning. Her throat felt as if it were lined with sand, so dry and itchy that it actually hurt a little when she tried to swallow.

She remembered her grandmother. The old woman's illness had begun with a dry throat. No one had thought anything of it at first, and Shadow's father had prepared a tea of herbs for her to drink. In the night, Shadow's grandmother had developed a fever, though she had made signs to Shadow that she had been cold. The fever had continued for days and the old woman had grown weaker. She could not eat and sometimes when she attempted to drink, she coughed so violently that her entire body trembled. Nothing Shadow or her father had done seemed to help.

Shadow missed her grandmother. The old woman had been wise. She had defied the Elders of the village many times, and she had not been frightened by any of her enemies. Shadow's father had once told her that Grandmother had been a warrior, and Shadow believed it was true. Grandmother also had The Knowledge, but the Elders feared her too much to make trouble for her because of it.

It made Shadow sad to think her warrior grandmother had not been able to conquer her final enemy. A woman who could defeat a man in battle should not have been so easily overcome by a simple fever. Still, she understood that was the way of all things. Death was the enemy that won every battle, in the end.

Shadow shook her head. She should not be thinking of her grandmother now. This was not the time to be standing outside, revisiting the past. She needed to find something to eat. She felt so weary that she found it difficult to concentrate on remaining concealed. She would need to seek a safe, warm place to sleep.

Nourishment first, she decided. She knew where she could get some of the food called 'power bars' without much difficulty. All she needed to do was remain concealed for a little while longer.

-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-

Sometimes, Rodney McKay found himself on the verge of believing in the supernatural. Gods or ghosts might be an elegant solution when things happened that he could not explain. It'd be a hell of a lot better than the alternative, namely that he might be hallucinating or going crazy.

Rodney was in his lab, working late, trying to catch up with some of the things he hadn't been able to accomplish when his cold had been at its worst and he'd been too sick and tired to concentrate properly. Rodney usually liked to work at night. The labs were quiet in the evening when most of the other scientists were enjoying some downtime. Rodney was grateful for the solitude. During the day, there always seemed to be too many interruptions, people coming and going, and yet more people asking stupid questions. At night, he could immerse himself totally in his research without distraction.

At least, he could _usually_ do that.

Tonight he'd been hearing noises; weird, nondescript noises. Every so often, his ears detected a muffled swishing or tapping, but he could not identify what the sounds were or where exactly they were coming from. Once, he thought he heard something moving in a corner of the lab, but when he had looked in that direction he saw nothing.

_Radek's pet ghosts are haunting the lab again_, he thought, recalling his friend's quaint stories. He wanted to laugh when that idea occurred to him, but he was afraid the laughter would come out hysterical. He didn't believe in ghosts, after all, but he could not deny there was definitely _something_ in the lab. He left his laptop and started toward the corner from which he'd noticed the sound.

He was halfway across the room when he heard someone sneeze.

Ghosts didn't sneeze.

_People _sneezed, though it wasn't the most strategic action for people who were invisible and trying to hide. In a flash of clarity, Rodney realized there _was_ a perfectly good explanation for all the noises he'd been hearing. He wasn't going crazy. He'd just been letting his imagination run away with him. He felt like an idiot for not coming to this conclusion sooner, though he'd never admit _that_ in a million years.

When he reached the corner, he put out his hand tentatively. He expected to encounter something substantial, and he did feel the distinct texture of human hair beneath his fingers. What he hadn't expected was to hear a scream. At Rodney's touch, Shadow materialized before the physicist's eyes and let out a howl that made his eardrums throb. Rodney yelled, too, though not quite as piercingly as Shadow. He yanked his hand away from her head, and scrambled backwards.

Some part of Rodney's brain took the opportunity to be fascinated by the fact that the deaf girl was able to vocalize. The greater part of his mind, however, was too busy alternating between surprise at having found Shadow and annoyance at being startled so badly by her, to give his scientific curiosity much consideration. He wondered how long Shadow had been hiding in the lab. Was it possible she'd been here all day?

No, probably not. He decided she must've gotten in when Miko came to say good night. He hadn't started hearing things until everyone had gone away, and Miko Kusanagi had been the last person to stop by his lab that evening. Shadow had probably sneaked in when the door was open. He told himself he would have noticed, otherwise.

Rodney glanced at Shadow, who was curled into a tight ball in the corner. Her face was streaked with tears. She sniffled loudly, and peered at Rodney with sad eyes. Looking at her, Rodney felt his irritation drain away and be replaced by unexpected sympathy.

He wished he knew what to do. He'd be the first to admit he was terrible in situations like this. He was ill-equipped to deal with sniffling and tears and emotional outbursts, and his typical reaction to such things was acerbity. He had a feeling that wouldn't get him anywhere in this instance. _Talking_ probably wouldn't get him anywhere, either, but he decided if he couldn't _do_ something, he might as well say something.

"Uh…look, I'm sorry I scared you," he said. The words sounded awkward, coming from his mouth. He crouched so that he was on her eye level. "You know, a lot of people have been looking for you. You can't keep disappearing like that. It's…inconvenient. Our mission got delayed, and…I don't know…some people were worried about you."

Shadow's only response was to lift her hand and point at the table where Rodney's laptop rested. Rodney let his gaze travel to where she was pointing, but he utterly failed to comprehend what she was trying to communicate to him.

"What? What do you want?" he asked. He shook his head to show her that he didn't understand.

Shadow drew her hand back, and touched her own mouth. The muscles of her jaw worked as if she were chewing.

"Food?" Rodney guessed. "You want something to eat, and you're actually asking me for it? Now, that's different for you. Stay right there and don't disappear. I think I've got a power bar."

As it turned out, Rodney didn't have any power bars hidden away, but he did have some chocolate. That was something he was reluctant to share, but if it meant keeping Shadow in one place long enough for him to contact somebody to come and get her, then so be it. He handed over the chocolate and watched Shadow unwrap it. Satisfied that she wasn't going anywhere for the next few minutes, he decided there was no time like the present to make a call.

**TBC**

**--------------------**

**A/N #2 –** Ahh…finally I've gotten a chance to update this story! Sorry it's been taking so long between updates, but I am volunteering with a youth program this week which is taking up a lot of my spare time. The program's going great, though and I am having a lot of fun! Oo and on a totally different but not unfamiliar topic, the breeder has send me some updated pictures of Grace. She is currently as tall as a Coca-Cola can. (Grace, not the breeder lol!)


	15. Guardian

**DISCLAIMER – **_Stargate: Atlantis_ is not my property. It belongs to MGM/UA and associates. I am writing this story for fun and entertainment, not for profit. (yes, this is a desperate plea for non-litigation)

**RATING – **Story rated T

**SPOILERS – **Everything up to the final episode of Season 2 is fair game.

**A/N – ** Okay, so Chapter 14 and Chapter 15 should probably have been one chapter instead of two, but I decided to split them up because it would've made for a wicked long post if I hadn't. My apologies if that didn't make a whole lot of sense. Erm…yes…I probably should say there's a bit of an "Aaaww!" factor in this chapter (at least I think so, but I'm biased cos I wrote it! lol) I promise it's not fluff, though…it's all relevant to the story. (the fluff comes later. hehe) I hope you all enjoy reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it. Keep those wonderful replies coming. I really enjoy reading them and I appreciate each one of you who replies!

Anything in «double-angle quotation marks» represents something written in Ancient.

Erm…I think there's -one- Czech word in this chapter. The translation for it will be at the end of the chapter, as always.

Beta-less. Yep. Blame me for any mistakes you happen to find. :P

* * *

**The Song Of Silent Rivers**

**15. Guardian**

It was not unusual, in Carson's experience, for someone to call him to the Infirmary when he was ostensibly off-duty. He always had to smile when he considered what 'off-duty' actually meant in his world. Even when he wasn't actually working, he was on call, likely to be summoned at any hour of the day or night. He was never off-duty, truly. He simply had times when he was less busy than usual.

He was in his quarters, reading and enjoying a cup of tea when one of the other doctors radioed him. He was worried at first, when he heard Dr. Hanna Eriksson's voice requesting his presence in the Infirmary as soon as possible. Carson couldn't imagine what sort of situation had come up that Hanna didn't feel capable of managing on her own. The Swedish woman was a skilled physician and should have been able to handle anything short of a major crisis in Carson's absence. He promised Hanna that he'd come straight away. Then, with a rueful glance at his half-finished tea, he headed for the Infirmary.

Everything became clearer to him when he got there. The reasons for Hanna's frustration were manifest in the figures of Radek and Shadow, who were sitting side-by-side on one of the Infirmary beds. Judging by the way Shadow was clinging to Radek, the deaf woman had been frightened by something or someone. Carson wondered if it had been Hanna who'd scared Shadow. That would explain why Hanna had called him to come down here. At least Carson could get near Shadow without frightening her.

At the moment, Shadow was pale and teary-eyed, and Radek looked anxious. Their physical appearances notwithstanding, Carson was glad to see them both, and he quickened his pace as he crossed the room.

"Well, now, look at who's decided to turn up at last," Carson said. He touched Shadow's hand to get her attention. "Where have you been hiding all day? I daresay you could use something to eat by now."

"She needs to eat something that is not chocolate," Radek said.

"She's been eating chocolate? Where'd she get that?"

"Rodney gave it to her."

Carson detected a note of exasperation in Radek's voice when he mentioned Rodney. He didn't want to explore that sentiment too closely at the moment, because he was sure he'd set the engineer on a tangent that would be of no benefit to anyone. Instead, Carson asked, "How in the world did you find her, Radek?"

"I didn't," Radek said.

"If you didn't, then who did?"

"Rodney found her."

Carson's eyebrows went for his hairline. "Really?"

"That is what he would like us to believe," said Radek. He made a nondescript sound that Carson interpreted as signifying disdain. "She came to his lab, looking for food, and they frightened each other. Then, Rodney did not know what to do and he felt it was necessary to call me."

"He ought to have called Elizabeth."

"He should have called _you_," Radek said. "I think Shadow is sick."

Shadow looked pale and tired, but based solely on that fact, Carson wouldn't have said the lass was ill. He reached out, intending to rest his palm against her forehead, but Shadow whimpered and turned her face away from his touch. Carson lowered his hand.

"That's odd," Carson said. "Did she tell you or Rodney what's wrong?"

"All she tells me is that she's very cold," Radek said. "Rodney said she was sneezing. She is acting…I don't know how to say this…_neobvyklý._ Not like normal."

"All right," Carson said. "Well, I'm sure it's nothing very serious. Why don't you go and call Elizabeth, while Shadow and I discuss what's troubling her?"

Shadow was reluctant to let Radek leave, and he seemed just as reluctant to leave her. To Carson's relief, however, the engineer did as he was asked. Carson pulled the curtain closed around the bed where Shadow was seated.

Shadow wasn't exceptionally obliging when Carson examined her. She allowed him to take her temperature and listen to her heart and lungs, but she made it perfectly clear she was not happy about him checking her ears and throat. She put up the most fuss when he drew a blood sample. Carson guessed she didn't like the needle. He couldn't blame her, really. He didn't much enjoy being on the receiving end of needles himself.

When he'd finished his examination, he let Shadow curl up on the bed. She needed to sleep, and Carson was not about to prevent her from doing so. He slipped out past the still-closed curtain, and went to look for Radek.

-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-

Radek was standing in the corridor outside the Infirmary when Carson found him. Carson had almost expected to discover the engineer pacing back and forth, but it was only Radek's fingers that couldn't seem to keep still. The engineer was fiddling with a small object in his hand, but Carson didn't see exactly what it was. Radek slipped the object into his pocket when he noticed Carson watching him.

Carson raised an eyebrow in an unspoken question. Radek looked embarrassed, and put both his hands in his pockets. "Is nothing," he mumbled.

Carson said, "Did you call Elizabeth?"

"I did, yes. She says she'll be here soon," Radek told him. "How is Shadow?"

"She's got a low-grade fever, and her throat seems a wee bit irritated," Carson said. "I actually think she might've caught that cold that's been going around."

"Really?"

"She's been here for a few days, which is plenty of time for the virus to have incubated."

"That sounds very bad," Radek said.

"It's most likely not as bad as it sounds."

"Most likely not? Carson, do you try to be vague, or does this happen by accident?"

"All right," Carson said. "I'm sorry. You do need to know, so here it is. Shadow was perfectly healthy when she arrived in Atlantis. She didn't show any signs of infection when she came, so whatever she's got, she picked it up here. Now, I don't know what sort of minor infectious diseases are present on Shadow's planet, so I don't know what sort of immunity she's built up against colds and the like. If there's anything similar on her world, then she should be fine."

"What if there isn't something similar on her world?"

Carson glanced away for a second before meeting Radek's gaze again. He always hated explaining the worst-case scenarios, even though he knew it was usually necessary to do so. He said, "If Shadow doesn't have the proper antibodies in her blood to fight off a viral infection like this, she could become very ill before the virus runs its course."

"What can you do?" Radek asked.

"There's really nothing I can do for the common cold except to treat the symptoms," Carson said. I've ordered some blood tests, so we can see exactly what we're dealing with. I think it's best if Shadow stays here for now. I'm reasonably certain she'll be all right, but I'd like to watch her in case this develops into something more serious."

"We must tell Elizabeth when she gets here, and we need to explain this to Shadow," Radek said.

"My grasp of Ancient isn't nearly good enough to explain much of anything to Shadow," Carson said. "I can talk to Elizabeth, though."

"I will explain to Shadow," Radek said.

Carson was amazed by the engineer's equanimity, and silently congratulated him on remaining composed despite his obvious concern. He reminded Carson of so many fathers and mothers whom he'd observed back on Earth, worried over the health of their children, yet putting on their bravest faces for anyone who might be around to see.

Carson smiled at that particular thought, and he couldn't help sharing it with his friend. "Radek," he said. "Has anyone ever told you that you'd make an excellent parent?"

"Me? No, no…I don't think so," Radek said. "I don't even _like_ children."

"Maybe you've never really gotten to know any children before now."

"You are talking about Shadow?"

"Aye, of course I'm talking about Shadow."

It was Radek's turn to smile. "I think you forget Shadow isn't a child. She is adult."

"Physically, yes she is an adult," Carson agreed. "Emotionally…mentally, I'd say her development's about equivalent with someone who's ten or eleven years old. In some respects, she is very much a child."

"But—"

Carson patted the engineer's shoulder. "Never mind, son," he said. "Why don't you go and see her? I expect she'll rest more easily if you're nearby."

-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-

The more Radek considered it, the more he began to realize Carson was right. It wasn't that he didn't have the potential to like children. He'd just never met a child who didn't set his teeth on edge, or cause him to yell, or make him want to cover his head and hide in a corner. His nephew Zdeněk provoked all of those reactions, by turns. Radek thought he'd rather face a shipload of hungry Wraith than to spend more than five minutes with Zdeněk and his little friends. He'd only allowed Milena to bully him into babysitting Zdeněk one time. After that, 'Uncle Radek' had been exceptionally busy with one tremendously important project or another whenever Milena had needed a babysitter. Now, of course, Radek had the good fortune to be in a completely separate galaxy from his nephew.

With Shadow, things were different. When Radek reflected on Shadow's behaviour, he decided Carson had been right about that, too. Shadow might look like an adult, but she acted more like a child. Radek thought it was odd that Shadow's behaviour didn't provoke the same reaction from him that his nephew's behaviour did. Instead of wanting to yell at her or hide from her, he wanted to protect her and take care of her. It was true Shadow had been the one who'd saved Radek from drowning, but it seemed to Radek that the deaf woman needed to be rescued as much as he did. Shadow just needed help of a different, less physical kind.

Radek found Shadow on the same Infirmary bed where he'd left her. She was curled into a tight foetal position, on top of the blankets. She looked forlorn, lying there with tears streaking her face and her tangled hair falling into her eyes. Radek brushed back her hair with his fingers.

Shadow reached up and caught his hand in hers. She turned his hand over in her grasp and traced a line on his palm with her finger, as if she were writing.

This was a sign Shadow had established rather quickly with the Atlantis people she trusted. _I want to talk to you_, was what it meant. Radek wanted to talk with Shadow, too, but the things he needed to tell her could wait a bit longer. She obviously had important things of her own to say.

Carson had thoughtfully left paper and pencil for her on the small table next to the bed. Radek collected both things and gave them to her. Shadow uncurled her body from its self-comforting huddle and sat up. Radek sat on the bed with her, watching patiently as she wrote.

_«Do I have to stay here?»_ was the first question she asked.

_«Yes. The Healer wants you to stay,»_ Radek told her. _«I will stay here with you.»_

_«I am cold. My head hurts.»_

_«We will tell the Healer when he returns.»_

_«He will return?»_

_«Did you think he would not?»_

_«Yes,»_ Shadow wrote. _«In my village, my father was not permitted to heal me when I became ill. The Elders forbade it. That is why I cannot hear.»_

Radek had to resist the impulse to speak aloud when he read that statement. He hadn't expected Shadow to start talking about her village all of a sudden, and he certainly hadn't expected her to tell him something like this.

Radek wrote. _«Is this true? Why would the Elders forbid your father to heal you?»_

_«The Elders forbade many things. Are you angry?»_

_«Yes, angry because of the Elders.»_

_«Are you angry with me?» _Shadow asked.

_«Why should I be angry with you, Shadow?»_

_«I concealed myself.»_

_«I was very worried about you, but I am not angry,» _Radek told her._ « Why did you hide?» _

_«I was afraid.»_

_«Why were you afraid?»_

_«I did not wish to displease you,» _Shadow confessed._ «I did not wish to displease the Leader and risk punishment.»_

_«The Leader is not angry,»_ Radek assured her._ «Even if she was angry, she would not punish you.»_

_«She is different than the leaders of my world.»_

_«How?»_

_»The Wraith came to my world on the day of my birth,» _Shadow wrote. _«My father told me the Elders believed it was an evil sign.»_

_«I do not believe it was an evil sign.»_

_«My father did not believe so, either. When I grew and the Elders learned of my knowledge, they were afraid.»_

_«Why were they afraid?»_

_«They believed my knowledge was dangerous. They believed that when I touched the Ancestors things, I would summon the Wraith. They did not wish me to live in the village, but my father would not send me away. He defied the wisdom of the Elders.»_

_«I do not believe the Elders were wise.»_

_«You are wise, River Man,»_ Shadow wrote.

_«Where is your father now?»_

Shadow did not reply for a long time. Finally, she declared,_ «I am tired.»_

_«Sleep,» _Radek wrote. «_I am here.» _

Obediently, Shadow wriggled beneath the blankets and closed her eyes. Radek placed Shadow's pencil and notebook on the small table, and then he settled himself in the chair beside her bed.

Radek felt stunned by the entire exchange he'd just had with Shadow. The whole thing had assumed a kind of surreal quality in his mind. He didn't have any trouble believing she was tired, because when he stopped to evaluate his own physical state, he realized the conversation had taken a lot of energy out of him, too.

What sort of people were the Elders of Shadow's village? Superstitious, certainly. Cruel, most definitely. He understood their fear of the Wraith well enough, but he could not comprehend their belief that Shadow's ability to use Ancient technology enabled her to call the Wraith to her world. And the idea of Shadow's birth falling on the same day the Wraith had come was one of life's pitiless coincidences. The Elders of Shadow's village must have been paranoid and narrow-minded as well as superstitious and cruel. Radek was not the sort of person prone to make snap judgments about people he didn't know, but already he found himself not liking these Elders very much.

Radek decided he would ask Shadow's permission to show their conversation to Elizabeth. This was something the expedition leader might be interested to know. She wouldn't like it, but it could prove to be valuable information just the same.

Radek reached across the space between them and curled his fingers protectively around Shadow's frail hand. He knew she couldn't hear him, but that didn't prevent him from saying good night to her and making her a promise that he would still be there when she awakened.

-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-

_There's never a dull moment around here_, Elizabeth thought, as she left Carson Beckett's office. One thing she never had to deal with in Atlantis was boredom, that much was certain. She was sure they'd manage to get themselves into every kind of situation imaginable before this expedition was complete. Their adventures ran the gamut from deadly confrontation with the Wraith to dealing with people from other worlds who'd caught cold while visiting the Lost City.

Elizabeth shook her head. She'd just finished speaking with Carson about Shadow. Elizabeth hadn't been happy to hear Shadow was sick, but she had to admit she was relieved to find out Shadow had picked up a virus here in Atlantis instead of bringing some sort of alien disease to Atlantis with her. Elizabeth didn't think she was ready to handle a quarantine situation right now, and in any case, she wouldn't have wished something like that on Carson and his staff.

Elizabeth decided she would look in on Shadow for a minute, before returning to her quarters. When she peeked behind the half-closed curtain around Shadow's bed, she discovered Shadow already had a visitor. She should have expected Radek would be here, she told herself. She smiled fondly at Radek and Shadow, and found herself having to quash the temptation to hug them both. Radek looked more fretful than she'd ever seen him, and poor Shadow just looked worn out.

Elizabeth stepped around the curtain and came to stand near Radek's chair. She touched his shoulder lightly with her fingertips. "Hi," she said. "You're up past your bed time, aren't you?"

He looked up, startled. "Elizabeth. I didn't see you there."

"I know," Elizabeth said. "Aren't you supposed to be sleeping?"

"Carson says so."

"You should listen to him."

"Will I be in very much trouble if I don't?" he asked.

"Yes," said Elizabeth, but she softened the word with a smile. "If you don't do as you're told, I might have to escort you out of here personally."

Radek smiled in return. "I think that wouldn't be as terrible as you want me to believe. You'll have to threaten me with something worse than that, Elizabeth, or I will not go."

"I'll have one of the Marines escort you."

"Now you're teasing me."

"I am," she admitted. "You don't mind, do you?"

"No."

"How's Shadow?"

"Carson says she's all right for now," Radek said, "but he doesn't know how much immunity she has against this virus. If there is nothing like it on her world, she would not have proper antibodies to fight it." He added quietly, "Carson says she could become very sick."

"Would I be wasting words if I told you not to worry?"

"No, because if you told me that, I would know you care," Radek said. "But I would still worry."

"And I can't convince you to go to your quarters and go to sleep?"

"No."

Elizabeth watched Shadow for a moment. The deaf woman's eyes were closed, but Elizabeth knew she wasn't asleep. Shadow's fingers were intertwined with Radek's in a way that suggested neither of them were the least bit interested in letting go. Some impulse made Elizabeth reach out and cover their joined hands with one of hers.

"Well, if you're staying for a while," she said to Radek, "I think I'll stay, too."

**TBC  
--------------------**  
_neobvyklý_ – strange, unusual

**A/N #2 -** So, I just have to say the youth program was a roaring success. I think all the kids had fun this week, and I know I certainly did! I should be able to update more frequently over the weekend & next week. Also, I want to post the pic of Grace standing next to the Coca-Cola can, cos it's very amusing. I just have to upload it somewhere, and then everyone can see. -giggle- She's a Coke dog lol!


	16. Voices

**DISCLAIMER: **  
Important stuff— you should know of it;  
This story is for fun, not profit.  
You guessed it; I don't own _Stargate._  
Please, MGM, don't litigate!

Yes…my disclaimer is a poem, cos that's just the kind of mood I'm in. _Stargate: Atlantis_ and its characters are the intellectual property of MGM/UA and associates (although Shadow and a few of the international extras in this story are mine). I have not received compensation from any source, in any form, for the creation of this story. It's purely for entertainment and enjoyment. (Note: no poets, aliens or international extras were harmed in the creation of this disclaimer.)

**RATING – **This story carries a content rating of** T**

**SPOILERS – **Nothing specific, but everything up to the end of Season 2 is fair game.

**A/N – **Don't ask me what I'm smokin' cos I won't tell yoooouuu…! –mad laughter- Okay, okay…seriously, I just woke up in a really good mood this morning and I don't know why, though I'm certainly not going to question it. You can blame the weirdness of the first scene in this chapter on my current state of mind, okay? Excellent. Now that's settled, I want to extend an enormous thank you to all the good folks who've left me those awesome replies. To the person who commented that the story seems to be about Shadow: well, it kind of is, to be honest. These things have a way of evolving like that. Anyway, never fear. I actually do know where I'm going with this thing. -nod-

Translations for anything in Czech are at the end of the chapter.

Look at me! I have no beta! (Yes, that does mean all mistakes are mine.)

* * *

**The Song Of Silent Rivers**

**16. Voices**

"Well, it's about time you showed up!"

Rodney McKay's strident voice was the first thing that greeted Radek when he stepped through the door of the lab. Radek was tired and irritable from having spent most of the night in a chair, and he was in no mood for Rodney's usual puerile invective. All that interested him at the moment was getting to work. He needed to keep his mind directed on something productive and his restless hands usefully occupied. He spared only the briefest of glances for the Canadian scientist as he crossed the lab to gather up his computer and his tools.

"Sorry," Radek said. "I didn't mean to be late."

"Late?" Rodney said. "You're way beyond late, Zelenka. You know, we've got a schedule. How do you think we'd manage to maintain any kind of efficiency around here if people just showed up whenever they felt like it? If that was how it worked, some people probably wouldn't bother to get moving before lunch. Anyway, now that you're here, I can tell you that Major Lorne wants somebody to have a look at 'Jumper Two. He says he thinks there's a problem with the inertial dampeners."

"Okay," Radek said.

"Okay?" Rodney echoed. "That's it?"

"Should there be something else? Okay, I will go and look at Major Lorne's 'jumper," Radek said. "You need elaborate answers today?"

"Obviously _somebody_ woke up on the wrong side of the bed this morning."

Radek could feel the muscles in his jaw contracting almost involuntarily. He did not have the patience to deal with Rodney's stupid comments right now. "If you must know," he said, "I did not sleep in my bed."

"Oh, really?" Rodney seemed unduly intrigued.

"Yes, Rodney. Really."

"Huh. So much for my working theory, then. I would've thought sleeping in somebody else's bed would put you in a better mood than this. I mean, I was under the impression that a really good—"

"Rodney."

"So, if you didn't sleep in your own bed, where were you? No, wait…don't tell me. I can probably guess. It's only the worst-kept secret in Atlantis, anyway."

"Rodney!"

"Hey, don't get me wrong. I mean, it takes a lot of nerve to aim that high. I think It's great that you finally decided to get over all those ethical hang-ups of yours and finally _do_ something. To be honest, I prefer the tall, blond, intellectual type myself, but everybody's got unique tastes, right? Oh, and don't worry. I won't mention to anybody that you and—"

"_Rodney!_"

"What?" Rodney said.

"Please, just for a change, pay attention to what I'm saying. I did not sleep with anyone, especially not the person you are thinking of. The worst-kept secret in Atlantis is big, overfed rumour. Now, stop talking to me, please. You're making my head hurt."

Rodney stared at him with an incredulous expression on his face. "Stop talking? Zelenka, are you telling me to shut up?"

"Yes. Yes, Rodney. _Zavři hubu a zastavit mluvení! _ Why is this so difficult for you to understand?"

"I'm not sure," Rodney said. "You don't suppose it could be because I don't comprehend one damn word of Czech, do you? Look, if you're not here to work—"

"I am here to work. I…I don't feel like having conversation right now," Radek said. "Really, you do make my head hurt this morning. If silence is too much to ask for, then please…just try not to speak so loudly."

Rodney was completely silent for a full ninety seconds, during which time Radek tried to pretend the Canadian wasn't watching him as he assembled his tools in their padded case. Radek decided Rodney had a penetrating stare. He could sense Rodney's gaze on him, and he had the uncomfortable feeling the Canadian wanted to read his mind. That notion made him grimace. If Rodney actually could read Radek's mind, he might not like what he found in there. At the moment, Radek couldn't say he enjoyed the scenery in his head very much, either. A tour of his brain might be, as Colonel Sheppard would say, a 'bad trip'.

Memories and nightmares and prophecies all jumbled together in his head made Radek wish his brain were a machine that he could manipulate. Disable the applications that were extraneous to necessary functioning; essential systems only. The first thing he'd render inoperative would be the worry program. That one used up a lot of energy. Maybe he'd temporarily shut down most of the emotional software. It seemed to be getting in the way more and more, lately, even when he was asleep. It was like a virus, creeping inexorably through everything, tainting all the beautiful, symmetrical science, tilting his logic and reasoning at an unfamiliar and precarious angle. The new perspective scared him. He wasn't sure if he liked it.

Radek shook his head, distracted and disturbed by the turn his own imagination had taken. Of course he couldn't get rid of any of the stuff in his brain, no matter how much he wanted to…and right now he desperately wanted to. He wanted to stop thinking about home, about his family, about Shadow and Elizabeth. _Especially Elizabeth_, his inner voice pleaded. _Think about anything, anyone other than Elizabeth_.

Last night in the Infirmary, he had come very close to telling Elizabeth how he felt about her. They'd sat in silence until Shadow had fallen asleep. Then, Elizabeth had begun to speak to him, softly in Czech, while she held his hand. Her Czech was accented. She stumbled over the grammar sometimes, inserted an English word here and there, but that didn't matter to Radek. He was grateful beyond words for her effort.

The sound of another human voice speaking his native language opened up a floodgate in his heart. All at once he'd longed for home, yet hadn't wanted to move from the spot where he'd been sitting. Elizabeth's small, cool hand caressing his fingers was uniquely hers, yet it had made him think of Dušana's hand, Jirina's hand, his mother's. He tried to say 'thank you'. He yearned to say 'I love you'.

What he'd ended up saying was, "_Já potřeba až k dopravit až k má domov._" Whispered it, because he'd been afraid his voice would crack if he spoke louder. _I want to go home._

And so, in the wee hours of the morning, Elizabeth had taken him to his quarters. It wasn't home, not really. They both knew it, but neither of them mentioned it.

Just inside the closed door, away from anyone who could see, Elizabeth had hugged him. She'd never done that before, never touched him any more intimately than to hold his hand. The contact surprised him a little, because he hadn't expected it. He'd returned the embrace, and had found himself once again on the precipice of confessing…everything.

When they'd stepped away from each other, Elizabeth had said good night to him Then, she'd gone away, leaving him to await the dawn and battle the emotional tempest in his head. Eventually, he'd fallen asleep sitting in his chair with Colonel Sheppard's copy of 'War and Peace' open on his lap.

"Hey! Uh…Radek? Hellooooo…?"

The rapid, repeated snapping of Rodney's fingers and the jarring sound of the Canadian's voice brought Radek back to the present. He blinked. "Rodney, is that really necessary? I am right here."

"Yeah, maybe your body's right here, but who knows what planet your brain was on," Rodney said. "I mean, seriously, it looked like the lights were on but nobody was home. Get it together already. Major Lorne's 'jumper—"

"I know. The inertial dampeners."

"What's the matter with you this morning? I mean, seriously?"

"I…I am tired, Rodney. That's all. I think I told you that already."

"No, you didn't."

"Well, I am telling you now," Radek said. He couldn't keep the impatience out of his voice, but realized he didn't care. He took one final look inside his tool box before closing and latching the cover. "Okay, I go to look at Major Lorne's 'jumper. Do not call me unless there is real emergency, not some random task you would rather not do yourself. Do you understand?"

"Oh, _perfectly_," said Rodney. "Shall I call ahead and warn all the Marines to stay out of your way?"

It took a supreme effort on Radek's part not to yell four languages' worth of expletives at Rodney before he left the lab. He decided somebody should have congratulated him for exercising enough restraint only to speak Czech when he told his Canadian counterpart exactly where to go and what to do with himself when he got there.

-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-

"You know, in some galaxies you can get fired for sleeping on the job."

Elizabeth opened her eyes to the sight of John Sheppard leaning casually against the frame of her office door. He was grinning at her, looking entertained. She realized she'd been on the verge of dozing off, with her elbows propped on her desk and her chin resting in her hands. Embarrassed by the idea of how _that_ must have looked, she quickly sat straighter in her chair and lowered her hands to her lap. She cleared her throat.

"John," she said. "Is there something I can help you with?"

"Maybe I should be asking you that," John teased. "I could bring you a pillow."

"No, that won't be necessary," she said.

Without being invited, John strolled into the office and casually flopped into one of the chairs in front of Elizabeth's desk. He hooked one arm over the chair back, and studied Elizabeth candidly.

"Long night?" he inquired.

"I didn't sleep very well. I had a lot on my mind."

"Oh? Anything you want to talk about?"

Elizabeth considered John's words. No, she decided, she did not want to discuss her thoughts with John Sheppard. The last thing in two galaxies she wanted John to know was that she couldn't stop thinking about Radek. She didn't even want to mention Radek's name in John's presence. That would provoke the Atlantis rumour mill into exponentially greater production in no time. The stories about her and Radek were healthy enough already. She didn't want to feed the nasty chin-wagging beasts.

God, but last night had been difficult. There'd been a thousand things Elizabeth had wanted to tell Radek as they'd sat together in the quiet, darkened Infirmary, but she hadn't been able to get past the impropriety of most of what she'd wanted to say. She couldn't have said 'I want to take care of you' or 'I wish things could be different'. Certainly, 'I love you' hadn't even been an option.

And so, she'd held his hand and talked quietly to him in her less-than-eloquent Czech. She'd wanted to comfort him, but when she'd looked into his eyes she was afraid she'd done the opposite. When he whispered to her that all he wanted was to go home, she'd felt as though her heart might shatter in a million pieces. She'd tried to say she was sorry, but the words wouldn't come, not in any language.

She hated that the bottom line was always the same. She was the leader and she couldn't allow herself to get involved with the people under her command. It was awful, unfair. She'd never doubted she could handle the responsibility of leadership, but now she was beginning to understand what people meant when they said it was lonely at the top.

Coming to the realization John was still sitting there expectantly, waiting for her to answer him, she said, "No. No, I don't think there's anything I want to discuss."

"Well, it's a standing offer, if you ever do want to talk," John said.

"Thank you, John. I appreciate that," she said, and smiled at him because she truly did appreciate his kindness and his friendship. John was like a brother to her, a best friend, and she couldn't imagine not having him around to steady her at times like this. "Now, was there something you needed?"

"What? Oh…yeah. I just came by to let you know that I'm taking Teyla to the mainland. I'll probably be gone for the rest of the day, but I'll see you at supper tonight."

"All right," Elizabeth said.

"You know how to reach me if you need me."

"Right. Yes, I do."

"Lorne's in charge until I get back. Well, not _in charge_, but you know what I mean."

Elizabeth smiled again. "Yes, I know what you mean."

"Good. So…uh…I'll let you get back to your paperwork, then. I guess I'll see you tonight." He rose from the chair and headed for the door.

"Goodbye, John," Elizabeth said. "Be safe."

-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-

Radek's satisfaction at having told Rodney off lasted until he was by himself in the 'jumper bay. Alone, the redress for his gratification was guilt. Yes, he was tired. Yes, he was worried and conflicted, and yes, Rodney McKay had managed to fray his last nerve. Even so, he'd had no real excuse to have been so shamefully unpleasant to Rodney. The Canadian hadn't acted any differently than he usually did. Radek could normally take Rodney's nonsense with more equanimity than he'd done. Radek wasn't a bad-tempered person by nature. He hated that he was in such a testy mood this morning, yet he felt helpless to control it. Perhaps it was a good thing he was on his own just now. The rest of Atlantis would be relatively safe.

He supposed he ought to apologize to Rodney. He wondered if it was possible to tell his friend he was sorry without making himself feel like an idiot in the process. At that, he found himself giving his head a shake. It probably didn't matter, because if he tried to apologize, Rodney would surely manage to belittle him somehow and make him feel foolish anyway. Maybe the best plan would be to forget the exchange had even happened.

Radek did his best to concentrate solely on the problem with Jumper Two. He didn't want to think about Rodney any more. He wanted to clear his mind of everything except what he was doing. Unfortunately, when he stopped thinking about Rodney, he thought of Elizabeth again. When he actively tried to banish images of Elizabeth, he thought about Shadow.

He'd gone back to the Infirmary after breakfast to see Shadow. He'd been completely horrified to discover how much more ill she'd become in only the few hours he'd been away from her. He hadn't wanted to believe Carson's warning about Shadow's lack of ability to fight off the virus she'd contracted. It was just a cold, wasn't it? _Everyone_ caught it at one time or another, he was sure, but he'd never seen anyone get so weak, so quickly, just from a cold.

When Radek had asked Carson about it, the doctor insisted it wasn't anything more sinister than the common virus half the personnel in Atlantis had been experiencing for the past couple of weeks. Radek knew better than to question Carson's expertise, but looking at Shadow lying huddled in her bed, he couldn't help but have some doubts.

He'd stayed as long as he could, and promised to come back as soon as possible. He hadn't wanted to leave her, but he'd needed to get to work.

Radek wondered if his parents had felt this way about him and Milena. He could not recall his mother staying with him for long periods of time, nor could he really remember his mother taking care of him when he'd been sick as a child. It was Dušana he remembered sitting with him for hours, reading to him, bringing him soup and juice and tea. He called to mind an image of his cousin sitting beside him, singing him to sleep.

Inexplicably, he found he could recreate the picture with Shadow in his place and himself in Dušana's, and it seemed...right. Carson's words of the night before echoed in his mind. _Has anyone ever told you that you'd make an excellent parent?_ No one ever had told him that, in fact, but then he'd never expressed any desire to become a parent before. It scared him a little that he was thinking about it now.

He was barely aware of his own voice quietly singing one of Dušana's lullabies as he worked on Major Lorne's 'jumper.

"Hey, Doc. Does it help when you sing to them?"

Radek nearly jumped at the sound of another voice. He'd thought he was alone in the 'jumper bay. When he turned from what he'd been doing, he saw John Sheppard leaning through Jumper Two's open hatchway. "Colonel Sheppard! I…I didn't hear you coming. Is there problem?"

"No. There's no problem," the colonel said. "I'm just waiting for Teyla. I'm taking her over to the mainland. I saw the hatch open here, and I thought I heard somebody. I figured I'd see what was going on."

"I am working."

"Yeah, I can see that," the colonel climbed into the 'jumper and settled himself on one of the bench seats. "So, what's up?"

"Up?" Radek echoed.

"You know…_up_," said Sheppard. "What's happening? How are things in your world?"

"Things are complicated," Radek said. "In my world, things are very complicated."

"How's your little friend from P4X-382?"

"My 'little friend' has a name, Colonel. She is Shadow," Radek said. He was taken aback by the defensiveness he heard in his own voice.

"Sorry," said the colonel. "Shadow. How's she doing?"

"Not well. She's very sick and Dr. Beckett thinks she will get much worse."

"So, what're you doing here? Why aren't you with her?"

Radek carefully put down the tool he'd been using. He found a place on the 'jumper's other bench seat, across from Sheppard. He said, "What makes you say I should be with her?"

The colonel's gaze was unwavering. "Do you think you shouldn't?"

"No, no…I think I should, but I have work, and—"

"Look," Sheppard said. "It's none of my business, so maybe I shouldn't be saying anything. Forgive me if you think I'm out of line, but I think you've got to decide what's really important."

"But, I don't know—"

"Of course you know. I'm not telling you what to do, Doc. You're smart enough to figure out what's right. Listen to that little inner voice," Sheppard said. He reached across the intervening space and clapped Radek on the shoulder. "Gotta go. Duty calls."

With that, John Sheppard exited the 'jumper and left Radek alone with his thoughts once again.

-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-

Shadow was certain she was going to die. Perhaps it wouldn't be during this day, but it would be soon. Her grandmother had died after battling a fever for many days, and Shadow was afraid she would join the Ancestors in the same way.

Time passed slowly in the strange white room. River Man had come to see her, but he hadn't stayed. Shadow had cried, and pleaded with her hands for him to remain with her. She sensed that he wanted to, but perhaps his duties required him to be elsewhere. The Leader did not return, and Shadow wondered why. The Leader had been very vigilant in the night.

The Healer was the only one who remained. Shadow was overwhelmed with guilt for having doubted him. She hadn't been convinced he would take care of her, yet he did so in spite of her disbelief. The Healer was a wise and good person. He reminded Shadow very strongly of her father, who had also been a gentle and caring man.

Sometimes, the fever made Shadow feel confused, and she imagined the Healer really was her father. She wanted him to hold her, then, and stroke her hair. She wanted him to take away the pain, make her head and chest stop hurting, help her sleep.

_Father_, she wanted to say. _Father, please help me._

She'd known how to say those words once. She could remember forming them with her lips and tongue, being able to feel each syllable vibrate in her throat. Her memory of the sound of the words was indistinct, like something from a half-forgotten dream. When had she been able to speak? It had been many seasons ago, before the illness had taken away her ability to hear, but she could not recall exactly how many seasons had passed since then. Fifteen seasons now, perhaps sixteen? She had only begun to speak when she'd lost the capacity to understand speech.

Her head hurt. She found it hard to concentrate, but she knew she had to try. If she let herself stop thinking, she would fall asleep. She was afraid that if she slept, she might not wake. She focussed all her energy on summoning her nearly-lost knowledge of spoken language. It was like a game, she told herself. She was playing a game of hide and seek with her voice. She knew it was there. All she had to do was find it.

She thought she needed to take a deep breath to help her make the words. It hurt to breathe deeply, but she tried her best. With her tongue pressed against her bottom teeth, she blew as much air as she could between her lips. She wondered if she'd made a sound.

She had her answer when the Healer looked up from the strange machine and stared directly into her eyes. His lips moved, forming words. Shadow didn't understand what he was saying, but she knew he was surprised.

Encouraged by that result, Shadow drew in another lungful of air and tried again.

-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-

"Ffffff…!"

Carson looked up sharply from the data tablet in his hand and stared at Shadow. She stared back at him, her dark eyes beseeching. There was no doubt in his mind that the sibilant sound had come from her lips, and he couldn't help but be curious. He wondered if she'd done it on purpose, although he guessed it was most likely an involuntary noise.

He smiled at her. "Trying to get my attention?" he asked. "You've got it, but I expect you already knew that, didn't you? I'm going to ask Nurse Rachel to bring you some juice in few minutes. Do you remember Rachel? You're not scared of her, are you? There's a good lass."

"Aaahhh…."

Shadow vocalized a drawn-out sound that both surprised Carson and made him worry that she might be in pain. He could feel unnatural heat radiating from her skin as he rested his hand briefly on her forehead. He'd already given her something that should've helped to bring her fever down, but so far it didn't seem to be having much effect. When he'd checked her temperature a few minutes ago, he'd discovered it hadn't even gone down an entire degree since the previous time he'd checked it.

Carson was alarmed at how quickly Shadow's condition had deteriorated overnight. When Radek brought her to see Carson last night, she'd been mildly feverish and her nasal passages had only been slightly congested. Now she had a temperature Carson considered dangerously high and he could hear her wheezing when she breathed. She was beginning to become dehydrated, and he was worried that he'd soon have to administer fluids intravenously. He didn't want to imagine having to insert an IV line. Shadow hadn't proved to be particularly cooperative when it came to needles, and he expected she'd put up a fight if he came near her with another one.

Carson pressed his lips together in a frown as he studied the data tablet that contained Shadow's chart. When he'd explained to Radek about the potential problem of Shadow not having the proper immunity, he hadn't really believed it would become a reality. It seemed Shadow had next to no immunity against this virus. To Carson, the situation didn't make sense. Not yet, anyway.

Shadow shifted restlessly beneath the sheet. She made the odd vocalization again. Hearing the noise made Carson's throat tighten in sympathy.

"What are you trying to tell me, love?" Carson asked. He sat on the edge of the bed and lifted her hand in his. "I know you feel dreadful. I want to make it better, wee one. I promise you, we're all doing what we can."

Shadow's fingers closed reflexively around Carson's hand. He sighed, and wished he knew what else to do for her. He felt powerless, and utterly frustrated by his inability to help.

Carson knew he'd have to call Elizabeth, soon, and Radek as well. Somewhere along the way, Carson had started to think of Radek as Shadow's _de facto_ guardian. That fact was going to make it harder for Carson to give him any bad news. Carson disliked being the bearer of bad news at any time, but he most especially hated giving discouraging diagnoses to parents about their children. He stroked Shadow's hand and tried to figure out what he should say when the time came.

"Excuse me, Dr. Beckett?"

Carson looked over his shoulder to see who'd addressed him, and discovered one of his fellow doctors standing a few metres away. The man's name was Itzhak Perlman. The Israeli doctor had training in epidemiology and pathology back on Earth. Here in Atlantis he divided his time between working with Dr. Biro in her pathology lab and assisting Carson with his genetic research. One thing Carson always associated with Itzhak was the man's easygoing attitude. Itzhak received constant gentle teasing from his colleagues about having the same name as a famous violinist – which had increased exponentially when they discovered _their_ Itzhak played the violin, too – but tolerated all of it with cheerfulness and playful humour of his own.

Dr. Itzhak Perlman was not smiling now, and that alone made Carson fret.

"What is it, Dr. Perlman?" Carson said.

Itzhak pushed his fingers through his chronically out-of-control hair, making his black curls look even more wild than usual. He glanced quickly at Shadow before returning his attention to Carson. "I've been studying the blood samples from your patient."

"And?"

"Well, I've found some…anomalies."

"She _is_ from another planet, Itzhak," Carson reminded him. "There are bound to be findings that don't correspond with Earth human norms."

"I know, but I don't think the anomalous findings I'm talking about can be attributed to evolutionary differences." Itzhak fidgeted with something in the pocket of his lab coat. "Of course, it's hard to be absolutely certain without having another sample from somebody else from her world to compare against, but I don't think God was the only one who had a hand in creating our little lady friend."

"What?" Carson felt as though somebody had knocked all the air from his lungs. He left his spot on Shadow's bed and went to where Itzhak was standing. He put his hand on the Israeli doctor's arm and turned him toward the door. "Son, I think you'd better show me what you found."

**TBC  
--------------------**

_Zavři hubu a zastavit mluvení!_ – Shut your mouth and stop talking!  
_Já potřeba až k dopravit až k má domov._ – I want to return to my home.


	17. Cradle Song

**DISCLAIMER – **_Stargate: Atlantis _and its characters are the intellectual property of MGM/UA and associates (although in this story, Shadow and Dr. Perlman are mine). I have not received compensation from any source, in any form, for the creation of this story. I am writing it solely for fun and entertainment.

The poem entitled "David's Lullaby" was written by me and is my intellectual property. Please ask my permission before reproducing it in any form.

**RATING – **This story carries a content rating of** T**

**ARCHIVE – **If you want to archive this, feel free to do so. All I ask is that you would tell me about it, if you do.

**SPOILERS – **Nothing specific, but everything up to the end of Season 2 is fair game.

**A/N – **All righty then… It looks like the notes for this chapter are going to be pretty long, so let me start out by apologizing for that. I guess I just have lots to say tonight. Thank you once again to everyone who left comments and replies for Chapter 16. You guys have no idea how encouraged I am to know that you're enjoying the story. I am so happy right now, thanks to all of you!

Okay, on to the notes. This chapter was particularly hard for me to write. I hope you'll all approve of it. Both the chapter title and Radek's lullaby in this chapter were actually taken from one of my own poems, which is totally unrelated to SGA. I reworked the first two stanzas just slightly, so I could use them in this chapter. What a nutbar I am… borrowing stuff from myself! Anyway, I have posted the entirety of the original poem below, so you can see where Radek's little lullaby came from.

Blocks of text that are written in present tense and _italicized_ are flashback scenes.

Translations for anything in Czech are at the end of the chapter.

I have no beta. Blame any mistakes on me.

* * *

David's Lullaby  
©2005 by W. M. Baker 

As the northeast wind and snow  
Down the darkened valley sweeps,  
Safe and warm my David sleeps  
By the firelight's amber glow.

Near my heart he rests his head  
Lulled by Nature's cradle-song;  
Through the winter night, along  
Paths the dreamtime angels tread.

If time were at my command,  
Past forever I would hold  
Moments valued more than gold;  
Keep them sheltered in my hand.

Seasons mark the passing time;  
Quickly, since his life began.  
Little boy becomes a man;  
Fast outgrows the cradle-rhyme.

Angel guardians too soon part,  
Yet the firelit evening seems  
Still aglow within my dreams;  
David rests close to my heart.

* * *

**The Song Of Silent Rivers**

**17. Cradle Song**

Elizabeth had been working in her office when Carson called her to ask if she could meet him in the Infirmary. She hadn't needed to ask him what the reason was. She'd known, before he told her, that he wanted to talk about Shadow. The deaf woman had become very ill, very rapidly, and Carson was understandably concerned. Elizabeth was worried, too. In the short time she'd known Shadow, she'd grown to like her, and didn't want to think about anything bad happening to her. Elizabeth had promised Carson she'd join him right away.

When she'd arrived at Carson's office, she hadn't really been surprised to find Radek there with him. She didn't know when it had happened, but at some point Carson had begun to include Radek in any discussions that had to do with Shadow. Carson seemed to regard Radek as the deaf woman's guardian. Elizabeth wasn't sure if Radek thought of himself that way, or even if Shadow needed a guardian, but she was certain Radek appreciated Carson's thoughtfulness in including him.

Elizabeth was a little curious about the third man in the room, though. She recalled he was an epidemiologist. He was called Itzhak Perlman, she remembered, just like the classical violinist. Every time she'd ever seen Dr. Perlman, he'd been laughing, grinning, or playfully teasing someone. He wasn't laughing today. His dark eyes were sombre and his face showed not even a hint of mirth.

Elizabeth sat beside Radek, who was even more grave than Dr. Perlman. He didn't look at her when she took her seat. She didn't know why she'd expected him to.

"Well," said Dr. Perlman, once Elizabeth had settled into her place, "Dr. Weir, now that you're here, Carson and I can tell you what we discovered while we were analyzing Shadow's blood and tissue samples. It's remarkable, really, although I don't think I like it very much. We've discovered some anomalies that I believe are not part of the evolutionary process."

"What sort of anomalies?" Elizabeth asked. "Did you find something that could be dangerous to us?"

"No, nothing like that," Dr. Perlman said. "I'm sorry if I implied there might be some sort of risk to us. Shadow hasn't got anything more dangerous than the common cold."

"Unfortunately, the common cold _is _rather dangerous for Shadow," Carson said. "The abnormality Dr. Perlman found is in Shadow's cells."

"What's abnormal about about her cells?"

"Shadow's cellular structure is anomalous because it's too perfect," Dr. Perlman explained. He levelled his dark-eyed gaze at Elizabeth and took a deep breath before he went on. "Shadow's body is not _normal_, Dr. Weir. We've found there's evidence of extensive manipulation at the genetic level."

Elizabeth returned the Israeli doctor's stare. She said, "Are you saying Shadow has been genetically enhanced?"

"It goes way beyond genetic enhancement, I'm afraid," Carson said. "Dr. Perlman believes Shadow was genetically engineered."

"I don't understand," Elizabeth said. "Enhanced, engineered… This sounds like semantics to me, Dr. Beckett."

"No, not semantics, Elizabeth," Radek said. He'd spoken so softly that Elizabeth barely heard him. He'd been staring at his hands, which lay folded and alarmingly motionless on his lap, and he hadn't said anything until now. When he continued, his voice was stronger, but tinted with something Elizabeth interpreted as dismay. "Engineered. _I_ understand. They are saying Shadow is not merely improved by genetic therapy. They are saying someone _made_ her, like machine, from blueprint."

"Yes, I would have to agree that's an appropriate analogy," said Dr. Perlman. "Someone would've started out with a plan for what he wanted to create. The most effective way to do genetic engineering is to make the changes after the ovum and sperm cells merge, but just before first division of the zygote. That way, the new or modified genes will be expressed throughout the whole body, right from the start."

"My God," was all Elizabeth managed to say.

"Whoever did it, their knowledge of gene manipulation is way beyond our science," Carson said. "We've only been experimenting seriously with gene therapy and cloning since the late twentieth century, on Earth. Even if there weren't any questions of ethics, we're nowhere near being able to artificially create a human being."

"Please," Radek said. "Do not say to us how 'remarkable' you think it is."

"Why would somebody do something like this?" said Elizabeth.

"That's a question you'd have to ask the person who created Shadow," said Dr. Perlman. "Maybe she was created specifically to use Ancient weapons to defend her people against the Wraith, or maybe her creator just wanted to make his ideal child."

"The problem is, Shadow may not be as perfect as her creator meant her to be," Carson said. "It appears as though her immune system is significantly underdeveloped."

"Is that why she's so ill?" Elizabeth asked.

"Yes," said Carson. "Shadow is more susceptible to infectious diseases than the average human, and her body isn't as good at producing the proper antibodies to fight them off. Her weakened immune response might be a result of the genetic engineering, but at this point we can't really be certain."

"Can you do anything?"

"There are some medications that can help to stimulate the immune system, and we'd like to try those. In the meantime, we can inoculate her with a broad-spectrum vaccine that might help to protect her against any common infections."

"We also think it'd be best to isolate her for the time being," Dr. Perlman added. "The less she's exposed to any potential pathogens, the safer she'll be."

"Does this mean we will not be able to see her?" Radek asked.

"You'll be able to see her, but once she's in isolation, you won't actually be able to enter the room with her. I'm sorry."

"Okay," Radek said, though from his expression Elizabeth guessed he felt it was most definitely not okay. "I understand. Can you tell me one more thing, please?"

"Of course," said Dr. Perlman. "What would you like to know?"

"Is Shadow… Is she dying?"

Itzhak Perlman's face broadcast his determination as he met Radek's gaze. "Dr. Zelenka, I have to be honest with you. There's a real possibility she could die, but I promise you, Dr. Beckett and I will do everything in our power to prevent that from happening."

-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-

Radek was grateful that Itzhak and Carson had both agreed it would be all right for him to visit with Shadow for a little while before they moved her to an isolated room. Elizabeth had stayed behind in Carson's office to speak with the two doctors. Radek didn't know what they planned to talk about, but he didn't stay to find out.

A few of the nurses gave him sympathetic looks as he passed through the outer part of the Infirmary. He tried to smile at them, but his smile was a mere ghost. His true thoughts were far removed from anything that might produce a smile.

He slipped behind the curtain that separated Shadow's bed from the rest of the Infirmary. The sight of her made his breath catch in his throat. He'd never seen a living person so pale. She lay unmoving beneath the white sheet, and it was only the steady rise and fall of her chest that assured him she was still alive. When he brushed his fingertips over her forehead, she opened her eyes. Her chocolate-brown irises seemed unnaturally large and dark against her wan face.

She moved her hand feebly, trying to stretch her fingers toward him. Radek caught her hand. He held it gently, irrationally afraid that he might hurt her if he closed his fingers too tightly around hers.

"Shadow, what can I do?" he said. "I want to help you, but I don't know how."

Shadow made a long, low moaning sound deep in her throat. She stared at Radek as if her vision might be the only thing anchoring her to reality.

To Radek, eye contact seemed too insubstantial a link. Not really knowing what possessed him to do so, he let go Shadow's hand. He sat on the bed with her and lifted her so that her upper body was supported in his arms. She was shivering. With a small whimper, she let her head droop against his shoulder. She began to cry.

"Shadow, Shadow…_zastavit pláč_," Radek said softly. "_Není proč až k být poustrašený_. _Tebe ar bezpečný s mne_."

Radek closed his eyes. How in the world could this have happened? Less than a week ago, the child-woman in his arms had been a total stranger to him. How could he have become attached to her this quickly? None of it made sense to him. There was no logic in any of it. How could he be sitting here, telling her not to cry and not to be afraid, yet be utterly terrified himself and believing his own heart was about to break?

-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-

_Radek sprawls facedown on his bed and peers over the edge at the sheet of paper he has just dropped on the floor. He doesn't really need to look at the paper any more. He knows what it says. He thinks he's read it at least fifty times since it arrived in yesterday's post. He doesn't like what it says, dreads the portent of its words with every fibre of his being. He wants to deny that it even exists, but he knows that's a vain wish. It is there, white and spotless and officially stamped by the Party. _

_The piece of paper is a letter. It is his notice of conscription, his summons to the army. To Radek it seems more like a decree of internment. _

_He can hardly believe that less than a week ago everyone in his family had been so carefree and happy, congratulating Dušana on her new job, celebrating Radek's eighteenth birthday. Tomorrow, Dušana will be leaving for London, to start her work as a paediatrician in a big hospital there. In a few weeks, Radek will leave for the army. _

_Radek feels as though his entire world is changing. Even though he knows he must, he doesn't want to give up his childhood and leave the safety of his family and his home. He can't bear to think of Dušana so far away in England, nor can he dwell on the notion of himself as a soldier. _

_When he hears footsteps in the hall, he knows it's his cousin. She walks lightly. No one else in the house is as graceful as Dušana. She taps on the edge of the doorframe before she enters his bedroom. _

"_Hi," Dušana says. "What are you doing?"_

"_Thinking."_

"_Mourning the loss of your hair?" Dušana teases. She touches his shorn scalp, tickles his head. "The army is cruel, making you cut off that wonderful golden mop of yours." _

"_The army _is_ cruel, but that's not why."_

"_I'm sorry," says Dušana. "Do you want to talk?"_

"_Just stay with me for a while, please," Radek says. "Sing my lullaby. I want to hear it one more time before you go. Before I go."_

_Dušana sits beside him on the bed. Radek pillows his head on his folded arms and his cousin strokes the downy fuzz that used to be his hair. Her hand marks time, steady and gentle. Radek closes his eyes and listens as Dušana begins to sing._

As the northeast wind and snow  
Down the darkened valley sweeps,  
Safe and warm my baby sleeps  
By the firelight's amber glow.

Near my heart he rests his head  
Lulled by Nature's cradle-song;  
Through the winter night, along  
Paths the dreamtime angels tread.

_He does not know when or where Dušana learned this song; a lullaby with English words. She'd sung it to him long before he'd ever understood what it meant, and he'd always adored it. He loves the cadence of the unfamiliar language and the timbre of his cousin's alto voice. Sometimes, she would sing his name in the first verse – _safe and warm my Radek sleeps – _and he would imagine himself as a very small child with his head resting near her heart, comforted by the knowledge that he was 'her' Radek, safe in her care. _

_He cannot imagine leaving home. He doesn't want to go away from Mother, Father and Milena, Uncle Jaromir and Dušana. He will be lonely in the army with only the other soldiers for company. He doesn't want to handle a weapon and learn to march and salute and obey blindly. He wants to go to university, to learn to build airplanes, to dream of freedom without fear. _

"_Nothing will be the same, after tomorrow," he says._

"_No, it won't," his cousin agrees._

"_Are you nervous about going to England?"_

"_A little. I'm afraid they'll laugh at my English."_

"_They won't. Everyone will love you and you'll be the best doctor in London," Radek says. "You have to promise to send me a postcard with a picture, all right? Tell me about the Tower and the Thames."_

"_I'll write letters," she says. "I'll tell you everything about England."_

"_I wish I could go with you instead of going to the army." _

"_So do I."_

"_I'll write letters, too," Radek says. "About the army, maybe. About the things I see." _

"_Tell me a story," says Dušana. "Make your letters into a story for me. You've always been good at stories." _

"_I don't know if I can make a story about the army, Dušana." _

"_Of course you can. Start with, 'Dear Dušana, this is a story about a soldier'." _

"_No," Radek says. _

"_How will you start, then?"_

"_Dear Dušana," he says. "This is a not a story about a soldier. This is the story of a man who dreams about freedom and flying machines." _

"_Oh Radek…Radek…" Dušana whispers. She sinks down beside him and hides her face in the pillow. She is crying. _

_Radek reaches across the small space that separates them. He rests his hand on her head and pats her curly hair. "I'm sorry, Dušana," he says softly. "Please, don't cry. I'm sorry. I told you I couldn't make a story about the army." _

"_No, it's a good start," Dušana says. "I want to hear that story about the man who dreams of flying machines. It's only that I…I wish I didn't have to read it all in letters. It won't be the same as listening to your voice." _

"_You gave me my lullaby to remember when I'm in the army," Radek says. "Let me tell you a story, now. Something you can remember in England." _

"_Thank you," Dušana says. _

_Radek settles himself closer to his cousin so that they are shoulder-to-shoulder. "Once upon a time," he says. "There were two children who dreamed of a beautiful country far, far away…"_

-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-

Shadow drifted in and out of sleep. She dreamed of her father and of the hidden place of the Ancestors, of the warm sun of her world, and of the green bird she had tamed for a pet. Sometimes, she thought she was in the white room where the Healer worked, though she wasn't sure if she could trust her own senses to tell her such a thing. Perhaps she'd imagined all of it, the wonderful foods she'd eaten, the strangers who were now her friends.

But, she couldn't have imagined River Man and the Healer, could she? They were real. It was River Man who held her, now. River Man was the one who'd gathered her in his arms and let her rest her head against his shoulder. She couldn't be comforted by a creation of her mind. He had to be real.

He was speaking to her. She felt the vibration of his voice as she leaned against him. She longed to understand what he was saying to her. Perhaps he was telling her a story or singing a song. What sort of song would River Man sing to her? Something from his world? It seemed like a fairytale to her, River Man's far-away Earth. He'd told her she might see it one day, but now she knew she never would.

She was so tired, so cold. She couldn't fight any more. It hurt too much to fight. She only wanted to weep and surrender.

_I am sorry, River Man_, she wanted to say. _I do not wish to make you sad. I wanted to stay with you, but I cannot. _

She tried to speak, and sensed a faint tremor in her throat. She did not know if it was a word, or just a noise, or a sob. River Man's arms tightened around her. She felt his head come to rest against hers.

_I am sorry_, she thought. _I am sorry._

-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-

"…safe and warm my Shadow sleeps…"

Elizabeth listened to Radek's voice drift out from behind the partially-closed curtain around Shadow's bed. She'd heard him sing before – Beatles tunes, stuff by the Rolling Stones, a Russian drinking song – but never anything like this. Elizabeth had the impression the lullaby was one Radek had known for a long time, yet something he rarely sang himself. She wondered if someone had sung it to him when he was a small child, and whether the person had inserted his name in that particular line as he was singing Shadow's name now.

"…near my heart she rests her head…"

Elizabeth didn't want to interrupt. She didn't want to break the spell of peacefulness that seemed to be surrounding that small corner of the Infirmary just then. Radek's accent gave his lullaby a distinct quality that made Elizabeth think of places expatriates lovingly referred to as 'the old country'. She imagined a house where a Slavic grandmother rocked a child to sleep by the soft light of a fire, heedless of the winter storm that raged outside.

It was a comforting picture, and she wished she could have held it in her mind a little longer when Radek had finally finished singing. Behind the curtain, she heard him murmuring to Shadow in Czech. He spoke too softly for her to understand most of what he was saying, but she knew they were meant to be words of comfort.

At last, there was only silence. Elizabeth took a deep breath and gathered her courage around her like a cloak. She stepped around the white drape.

What she saw filled her with an emotion she could not name. Compassion or sadness. Maybe it was a little of each, or maybe it was something else entirely. Radek was sitting on Shadow's bed with the sleeping woman cradled in his arms. His eyes were closed and his cheek rested against the top of Shadow's head.

"Radek," Elizabeth said quietly.

He opened his eyes and looked up at her. "Elizabeth," he said. "Already you're finished speaking with Carson?"

"We're done for now," she said. "Are you okay?"

"No," Radek said. "But I am trying not to think about it."

"I liked your lullaby."

"My cousin Dušana, she used to sing it to me. I haven't thought of it for a long time. Sometimes, when I was in the army…" He let the sentence trail off without finishing it, and turned his gaze away from Elizabeth. "No, never mind. Is Dr. Perlman coming now?"

"Yes, he is."

"Okay," Radek said. He carefully lowered Shadow to her bed, and got up. "I…I should go back to work."

"Wait," said Elizabeth. "There's something I want to tell you."

"What is it?"

"I think we need to send a team back to Shadow's homeworld," she said. "I've been discussing it with Dr. Beckett and Dr. Perlman, and I'm going to speak to Colonel Sheppard when he comes back from the mainland. We need to know what's been happening on that planet. We have to find out who created Shadow, and why. Maybe we can learn something that will help her."

Elizabeth studied Radek's face. She'd been a diplomat for a long time, and she was usually very good at reading people, but right now she didn't have a clue what Radek might be thinking. She watched his expression change from a look of numb shock to one of resolve. She suspected there was a self-generated argument going on behind those blue-green eyes of his. She wondered if she'd find out what the outcome would be.

"Elizabeth," he said. "Do you remember saying to me that you would not keep me from going offworld again?"

"Yes," Elizabeth said.

"You meant it?"

"I did, but—"

"I want to go with Colonel Sheppard, back to M4X-382," Radek said.

"Radek, I don't know—"

"Please," he said. "You don't have to answer right now, but please think about it. Ask Colonel Sheppard."

"Okay," Elizabeth said. She felt unable to deny him the request. "I'll talk to Colonel Sheppard about it, but right now I can't predict what he's going to say."

**TBC  
-------------------- **

_zastavit pláč_ – stop crying  
_Není proč až k být poustrašený._ – There's no reason to be scared.  
_Tebe ar bezpečný s mne_. – You are safe with me.


	18. Dialogues

**DISCLAIMER –** I don't own _Stargate_; it owns me. Okay, seriously… _Stargate: Atlantis_ and its characters are the intellectual property of MGM/UA and associates (although in this story, Shadow and Dr. Perlman are mine). I have not received compensation from any source, in any form, for the writing of this story. I am doing this solely for my own personal enjoyment and the entertainment of others. If you love me, don't sue me.

**RATING –** This story carries a content rating of **T**

**ARCHIVE –** If you'd like to archive this story, feel free to do so. All I ask is that you would tell me about it. Thanks.

**SPOILERS –** Everything up to the end of Season 2 is fair game.

**A/N –** Oh goodness…I am so overwhelmed by all the wonderful public review replies and PMs I got for Chapter 17! I'm so glad you all liked it. I had a very difficult time writing it, and even cried a bit when I was imagining the middle scenes in the chapter. (me silly author…) Anyway, Chapter 18 is a little less raw. It's shorter and it's sort of a "bridging" chapter. It sets up some stuff for future chapters, so bear with me, here, okay? Sheppard & Co. -are- going to get back to that alien planet, I swear! Anyway, I hope you will all enjoy reading this chapter.

Just to let everyone know, I am going to visit my brother for four days (leaving Friday and returning late Monday). If you don't see me around, rest assured that I haven't dropped off the face of the Earth. I've already started on Chapter 19, so with any luck I should be able to post it before I leave.

Translations for anything in Czech are at the end of the chapter, as always.

I have no beta. Any mistakes you encounter are mine.

* * *

**The Song Of Silent Rivers**

**18. Dialogues**

The sun was sinking below the horizon as John stood with Elizabeth on the balcony nearest her office and watched the sea. Elizabeth had been quiet at dinner, though John had tried to engage her in conversation several times during their meal. While they'd been eating, he'd found himself doing most of the talking. He told her about things that were happening in the Athosian settlement on the mainland, how Halling and the others would enjoy a visit from her. He'd talked about his 'jumper. He'd even made the usual jokes about having to eat MREs. Elizabeth hadn't responded to any of it, and John had been worried.

After they'd eaten, John asked Elizabeth to walk around the city with him. She'd agreed, but still hadn't said much. It was only when they'd gone to the balcony and they were finally alone that she opened up and told him what was bothering her. She'd explained what had happened with Dr. Zelenka and Shadow that day. She'd told him how Carson and one of his staff had discovered that the deaf girl was genetically engineered. She'd said she wanted his team to go back to M4X-382 to investigate. Then, she'd informed him that Dr. Zelenka wanted to come along on the mission.

John hadn't expected that. After the original mission to M4X-382, John wouldn't have been surprised if Radek Zelenka never wanted to venture through the Stargate again. The guy hadn't exactly had a good time. He'd nearly drowned. John wasn't anxious to bring him on another mission unless the Czech was really ready. He couldn't say with any certainly what Zelenka's motives were, but he thought he had a good idea what they might be. The colonel wasn't keen on having a team member who participated out of some misplaced sense of obligation

"Elizabeth, are you sure this is a good idea?" John said.

"No," said Elizabeth. She placed her hands on the railing and gazed out to sea. She sighed. "No, John, I'm not sure it's a good idea at all. Part of me says it's a big mistake to let him go on a mission when he's so emotionally involved in the situation, and another part of me just can't deny him the opportunity go. I don't know what to do."

John looked at the dark water. He didn't want to meet Elizabeth's eyes, because he didn't know how she'd react to what he was about to say. He inhaled a deep breath. "Are you leaving this decision up to me because _you_ are too emotionally involved in the situation?"

"Do you think I'm too emotionally involved?"

"Look, it's none of my business, but you and Dr. Zelenka…" He stopped in mid-sentence and ran his fingers through his hair. "Well, let's just say I've noticed how the two of you…uh…relate to each other."

"Dr. Zelenka and I are just friends. Colleagues," said Elizabeth. "You know I can't—"

"I know," John said. "Just because you can't, there's nothing stopping you from wanting to, is there? I mean, a hell of a lot can go on in a person's head that'd never happen in a million years in real life. I should know, because there's a hell of a lot going on in _my_ head right now. Anyway, all I'm saying is that I think your feelings might be clouding your judgment, just a little."

"Maybe."

"And maybe his feelings are clouding his judgment, too. Different feelings, maybe, different reasons for wanting to go. I don't like questioning people's motives, but—"

"You're saying you won't take him with you?"

"I never said that," John said.

"If you could have seen him this afternoon…" Elizabeth began. She brought her open hand down hard on the railing, and John saw her wince from the contact and bite her lip. "Damn it, John! Sometimes I hate having all this responsibility."

"I know," John said. "But like it or not, you've got it. Responsibility is what leadership is about, but I guess I don't need to tell you that, do I?"

"No," Elizabeth said. She closed her eyes and lowered her head. "John, I'm sorry. I—"

"Hey," John said quietly. He placed his hand over hers. "Look at me. _I'm_ sorry."

"Why?"

"I'm not trying to be a hard-ass about this. You know that, right?"

Elizabeth nodded. "I know. You're just trying to make me be objective. You're trying to make me understand my responsibility is to everyone in Atlantis and that I have to make my decisions based on some kind of rational thinking process. Of course, you're right."

"It's really important to you that we bring Dr. Zelenka along with us on this mission, isn't it?"

"It's important to him."

"Okay," John said. He removed his hand from hers and turned away from the railing.

"Where are you going?"

John looked back at Elizabeth. "I'm going to talk to Dr. Zelenka," he said. "You should come inside."

"No. I think I'd like to watch the ocean for a while."

"All right," John said. On an impulse, he took off his jacket and wrapped it around her shoulders. "Do me a favour, okay? Don't stay out too long. It gets really cold out here at night."

-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-

Radek was watching Shadow sleep. He doubted if she even realized he was here, keeping watch over her through a pseudo-glass window that separated her isolated room from the rest of the Infirmary, but it didn't matter. He was here for himself as much as for Shadow. He needed to see her, needed to reassure himself she was still alive. Radek realized how tenuous his hope was, but he needed to hang onto it anyway.

He was exhausted, both mentally and physically. It had been a long day, and he'd been doing a lot of thinking. He didn't want to think any more, but there was no way to stop his mind from working. He dwelled on the last conversation he'd had with Elizabeth, when he'd asked her to let him go offworld with Colonel Sheppard and his team. He'd seen nothing but conflict in Elizabeth's eyes, and he couldn't shake the feeling that she wasn't going to let him leave Atlantis.

He felt tremendously discouraged by that thought. If he couldn't go back to the planet, there was nothing else he could do except worry and wait. Not the most productive uses of his time, but he was having trouble concentrating on anything else. He closed his eyes for a moment, and rested his forehead against the cool surface of the pseudo-glass barrier.

_Shadow, please don't give up_, he wanted to say. _I'm here, and I'm not giving up on you._

"Hey, Doc," said a voice behind him. "I thought I might find you here."

Radek sighed tiredly at the sound of the voice. Lately, it seemed Colonel Sheppard was always sneaking up on him when he least expected. It was getting to be a habit with the man. Radek turned around to see the Air Force colonel leaning against the wall.

"Hello, Colonel Sheppard," he said.

"It's John," said the colonel. "You know, you can call me John."

"John," Radek echoed. "If I'm to call you by your name, then I suppose you must do the same with me."

"Sure."

"Is there something you wanted, Colonel…John?"

"Nice save," John said. He smiled, and Radek thought he looked amused. The expression only lasted for a moment, though, and then the colonel looked serious again. He said, "Dr. Weir tells me that you want to come with us to M4X-382 tomorrow."

"I do, yes."

"Tell me about it."

Radek turned away from John. He pressed the palm of his hand on the window, and noticed with some dismay that his fingers were shaking despite the pressure of the cool pseudo-glass against them. "Colonel, can you not see into this room? I should not have to tell you about it," he said. "I can't…I can't stay here. I cannot watch this and do nothing."

"You care a lot about that girl in there."

"She saved my life."

"And you want to help save hers, if you can."

"Yes."

"But it's more than that, isn't it?"

"It is, yes, but I would rather not talk about it just now, please. Is difficult. Forgive me, but I don't know. It is…_působí bolest mne až k myslit na ono_."

"I think understand what you mean," John said.

Radek doubted if the colonel really understood. He struggled with his mind to give him the English words he needed. He was so tired that all the languages he knew were getting mixed up in his head. At last he settled for, "It's hard to discuss it rationally. I hope this makes sense."

John studied him so candidly that it made Radek a little uncomfortable. He wished the colonel would look somewhere else. He didn't like being the subject of such close scrutiny, and he worried what the colonel must be thinking of him. John Sheppard was a good man, but he was also a strong man. Radek had the idea that John Sheppard valued strength, and that he wouldn't be won over by Radek's lack of that quality.

Radek wished he could be anywhere except in this room with John. He wished he were on the other side of the pseudo-glass window, where he could hold Shadow's hand and help her not to be frightened. He wanted to be near Elizabeth, too, and hear her telling him not to be frightened. He felt small and pathetic because of his fear. He hated the way it crept around his insides like a cold, ghostly fog and threatened to suffocate him if he didn't fight it.

He tried to remember the rhyme his mother had taught him when he'd been a very small boy. _Monsters, monsters run away…_

"Uh, look…Radek," John was saying. "I'm not that great with, you know, expressing myself either, so if you don't want to discuss it, that's all right. I'm okay with that."

Radek was unsure if he understood what John was trying to tell him. He said, "You are?"

"Yeah," John said. "To tell you the truth, all I really wanted to know was whether you thought you needed to go on the mission to make up for that…stuff that happened last time."

"No. It's not about that," Radek said. "Maybe it started out that way, but is different, now. Is not about me any more."

"Okay," John said.

"Okay?"

John smiled. "Hey, you want some free advice?"

"About what?"

"Offworld missions," John said. "I usually find it helpful to eat a decent meal and get some sleep before I go offworld. Does wonders for the body and the mind. You should give it a try."

Radek stared at him for a second. "I can go?"

"We're leaving at 0800 hours, so don't oversleep, okay? Ronon and Rodney get really cranky when somebody's late. You don't want to see Ronon in a crabby mood. Trust me," John said. He gave Radek a pat on the shoulder. "See you in the morning, Doc."

With that, the colonel turned and strode toward the door.

"Thank you," Radek said, but John Sheppard had already exited the room and didn't turn around to acknowledge hearing him.

-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-

"Radek! Radek, wake up."

Radek's first conscious observation was of a male voice repeatedly saying his name. His next realization was that someone – probably the owner of the voice – had a hand on his shoulder and was shaking him gently. Radek's brain was sluggish. He couldn't imagine why another man would be so insistent that he wake up. He'd been dreaming about the army, but the voice didn't sound as though it belonged to the formidable Captain Vojacek, nor to any of his fellow soldiers.

"_Běh pryč!_" he mumbled._ "Dovolit mne až k dřímota deset minuty._"

"Radek, you can't sleep here," the voice insisted. "Come on. Open your eyes."

Slowly, Radek coaxed his heavy eyelids open. It took him a few seconds to remember where he was. This wasn't the army barracks. He wasn't at home in the Czech Republic. He wasn't even on Earth. This was a small room in the Lost City, and Radek was sitting on the floor with his back against a cool, metallic wall. Radek took off his glasses and rubbed his eyes.

"_Kolik je hodin?"_ he inquired and then, seeing the puzzled look on the face in front of him, he amended. "What time is it?"

"Past your bed time, my friend," said Dr. Itzhak Perlman. "I thought Dr. Beckett told you to leave a couple of hours ago."

"He did, and Colonel Sheppard told me also."

"You're still here."

"I didn't mean to fall asleep."

"That's not the point," Itzhak said. "I talked to Colonel Sheppard, too, you know. He told me you're going offworld in the morning."

Radek wondered how many people Colonel Sheppard had talked to. Probably all of Atlantis knew he was going offworld in the morning. He sighed. "Yes," he said. "Dr. Weir believes we'll be able to find something to help Shadow if we go back to her world."

"You believe that, too, or you wouldn't have asked to go."

"Yes," Radek said.

Radek got to his feet and walked to the pseudo-glass barrier that separated them from Shadow's isolated room. He rested his palms against the smooth surface and looked through the window. Shadow lay motionless amid a terrifying nest of wires and tubes and machines. Since the last time Radek had seen her, one of the doctors had added a respirator to Shadow's collection of medical paraphernalia. The thought that Shadow could no longer breathe properly without intervention upset Radek even more than he imagined it would. He could feel his entire body trembling, and he pressed his hands more firmly against the glass to support himself.

Itzhak Perlman moved behind him. The Israeli doctor rested a hand on Radek's shoulder. "We're going to figure this out, Radek," he said.

"I hope so."

"Listen to me. You're tired, and you're not doing yourself or Shadow any good by hanging around in here, worrying. You should be in your quarters getting some proper rest."

"I was resting here."

"I don't think so," Itzhak said. "You might've been asleep, but I wouldn't exactly call it restful. When I came in, I could've sworn you were fighting a battle. It must've been quite the dream you were having."

"I dreamed about the army. Captain Vojacek, he was my commanding officer. He was like bear with thorn in his foot, and he made us all suffer with him."

"Sounds like one of my former commanders. He was called Lieutenant Baruch, and I swear some days I would rather have spent forty years wandering in the desert than one hour with that guy." Itzhak smiled. "Aren't we all lucky to serve under Colonel Sheppard, now? Mandatory military service wouldn't have been so bad with a few officers like him."

"I did not know you were a soldier, too," Radek said.

"I don't talk about it much. People think I say a lot, and maybe I do, but there are actually a lot of subjects I don't ever talk about. The military is one thing I don't have many conversations about. Most people don't get it. They don't seem to understand I didn't want to be a soldier. I didn't have a choice."

"Neither did I," Radek said. "Is difficult, when you don't believe in what you are being made to do."

"Well, nobody's making us do anything we don't believe in, now." Itzhak said. He smiled. "Come on. Let's get out of here. When was the last time you ate anything?"

Radek thought about it, and couldn't recall if he'd eaten anything at all since breakfast. He was forced to confess, "I don't know."

"Are you _trying_ to go hypoglycaemic on me, Radek?" Itzhak said. "I don't want to be forced to admit you to the Infirmary, you know. Dr. Beckett would have my ass in a sling. I mean, he just got you out of there. I'm pretty sure he doesn't want you back."

Radek peered at the Israeli doctor. "Excuse me? Carson would have your 'ass in a sling'? I don't think I know this one."

Itzhak laughed out loud at that. "Sorry, sorry... It means I'd be in a whole lot of trouble with the big boss man," he explained. "Let's go get some food. We wouldn't want to deprive ourselves of those _tasty_ MREs, would we?"

"That is exceptionally bad joke. Crippled joke."

"I think you mean it was a 'lame' joke," Itzhak said, and grinned at him. "Maybe, but it made you want to smile, didn't it? And don't worry. I'll help you work on that English of yours."

Radek was surprised when he discovered he actually had wanted to smile at Itzhak's joke. He didn't know how he could consider smiling right now. Having something to smile about made him feel a little better, though, even if the thing happened to be a silly joke. He said, "Itzhak, you have excellent bedside manner. Has anyone told you this?"

"Bedside manner is a myth," Itzhak said. "Either you're good with people most of the time, or you're not. I happen to like people a lot, and I hate to see anyone suffering. I consider it my calling in life to make people feel better."

Radek looked into the other man's eyes. It usually took a long time for him to learn to become friends with someone, but he found himself wanting to trust this doctor he barely knew. There was something about Itzhak Perlman that invited confidence. Radek felt himself smiling for the first time that day. The last thing he'd expected was to find a new friend, but he realized now, a friend was exactly what he needed.

"If your calling is to make people feel better," Radek said, "I must say you are doing excellent job."

TBC  
--------------------  
_Působí bolest mne až k myslit na ono. _– it hurts me even to think about it.  
_Běh pryč!_ – Go away!  
_Dovolit mne až k dřímota deset minuty. _– Let me sleep for ten more minutes.  
_Kolik je hodin? _– What time is it?


	19. Into The Vale Of Shadow

**DISCLAIMER –** _Stargate: Atlantis_ is the intellectual property of MGM/UA and associates. I have not received compensation from any source, in any form, for the creation of this story. I am writing this for entertainment and enjoyment only.

**RATING –** This story carries a content rating of** T** (in this chapter it's mainly for swearing but also for the mention of dead folks.)

**ARCHIVE –** Feel free to archive this story if you'd like to. Please tell me where it goes, though. A mother likes to know these things about her children. -nod-

**SPOILERS –** Anything up to the end of Season 2 is fair game.

**A/N –** At the time of writing this author's note, I haven't gotten many replies to Chapter 18.. In case that sounds like me whining, let me say I wasn't really expecting a lot of replies to a short, fluff-ish chapter like that one. Well, Chapter 19 is better, I promise. Anyway, thanks to those who did reply to Chapter 18. I always appreciate all the replies I get! Well, I hope you like this chapter. I'll see you all when I get back from visiting at my brother's house!

Any blocks of text that are written in present tense and _italicized_ are flashback scenes.

Translations for anything in Czech are at the end of the chapter.

I don't have a beta. If you notice any mistakes, blame them on me.

* * *

**The Song Of Silent Rivers**

**19. Into The Vale Of Shadow**

Mission briefings scheduled for 0700 hours never appealed to John. Anyone privy to this thought might have assumed he wasn't a morning person, but that assumption would have missed the mark. John didn't mind getting an early start. He looked forward to watching the sun rise and going for an early morning run and meeting Elizabeth for breakfast in the mess hall each day. He liked mornings, so the trouble with early briefings wasn't the time. The problem was in having to face the crabbiness that was McKay before the physicist had consumed at least three cups of coffee. Today, however, John had been utterly surprised to find Rodney McKay acting civilly toward his co-workers at the meeting, despite his decaffeinated state. John guessed the presence of Radek Zelenka at the table might've had something to do with it. Everyone had been treating the engineer as if he was in mourning, being solicitous and talking to him in quiet voices. Even Ronon had seemed subdued in Radek's presence. It was weird; a bit surreal, even.

Somehow, John had managed to survive the briefing without incident, verbal or otherwise, and now he and his team were about to step through the Stargate. Even before walking into the shimmering blue event horizon, John anticipated the heat and humidity of M4X-382. He'd advised his team to bring hats this time, to protect them from the radiant sun. Ronon, predictably, hadn't bothered to heed that particular advice. Rodney, on the other hand, had brought a hat and sunglasses and his specially-formulated SPF 100 sunblock. John could smell the scent of coconut wafting from the Canadian physicist. He gave his head a shake. There was no end to the madness that was Rodney, but John realized he wouldn't have wanted things to be any other way.

John looked at the other members of his team. Teyla was the one he worried about the least. She was competent and smart and knew how to handle herself in practically any situation. At the moment she stood calmly next to Ronon, P-90 clipped to her tac vest and coppery hair trailing from beneath a khaki-coloured hat. _Definitely a warrior_, John thought.

When his gaze came to rest on Radek Zelenka, John wanted to cringe. It was scary how the tactical vest and BDUs seemed to transform his image from a mild little scientist into a wiry soldier. More unnerving was the way Radek was standing at rigid military attention, eyes forward, almost unmoving. John had seen pictures and news footage of Soviet soldiers just like this. _Step out of line and we shoot you_, John could imagine some commandant barking at a line of scared conscripts. His own country's military was tough, but not like that. It made him wonder what Radek's country had done to their kids.

"At ease, Zelenka," he found himself saying before he could stop himself.

The Czech blinked. "What?"

"Everybody ready to go?"John asked. _Oh, nice save, Sheppard._

His team members were giving him nods of assent. John glanced over his shoulder to see Elizabeth standing in the control room. She was always there to see him off. He came to the realization he anticipated her smile of encouragement before he left Atlantis.

With Elizabeth's unspoken send-off firmly in his mind and his team following close behind him, John Sheppard stepped through the Stargate.

-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-

Radek had an alarming sense of déjà vu when he stepped through the Stargate's event horizon and into the sweltering air of M4X-382. it took every bit of will power he had to keep the memories of his last visit to this world under control. Nothing would happen to him this time. He was going to be vigilant and careful. He had a purpose for being here, and he was determined not to let his own fears get in the way of accomplishing what he needed to do.

Colonel Sheppard had made Radek promise to stay either beside or directly behind him as they hiked through the sub-tropical forest. Ronon had gone ahead of them, while Teyla and Rodney followed behind. They followed nearly the same route as they'd taken last time they'd been here. Radek was glad he'd paid attention to his surroundings on his previous visit, because he was able to point out a few geological details to the colonel as they walked along. He was also able to remind Colonel Sheppard of the location of the bridge that spanned the river.

The colonel didn't seem surprised when Radek mentioned the bridge. All he said was, "You're a pretty observant guy, Doc."

"Some left over army skills, perhaps," Radek said.

"Nah, the military can't teach you that. Some people are just naturally more observant," the colonel said. He glanced over his shoulder at Rodney. "Isn't that right, McKay?"

"Huh?" said Rodney. He had his attention firmly focussed on power readings and was no doubt oblivious to the finer points of the forest.

John Sheppard laughed. "See what I mean?"

"Rodney is observant when he tries," Radek said.

"How do you get him to do that?"

"I could not tell you. Is scientific secret."

"Classified, huh?" said Sheppard. "Well, never mind. I have ways of finding out stuff when I want to."

"You should not underestimate us, Colonel," Radek said. "Scientists are…resourceful."

Sheppard smiled at that, but it wasn't a look of amusement Radek saw in the soldier's eyes. He couldn't be sure, but he thought he might have seen admiration there.

"You're a surprising person, Doc," Sheppard said. "I guess I shouldn't underestimate you."

They were silent after that, until they finally reached the river. The water seemed to be flowing more swiftly than Radek remembered it. He wondered if there'd been rain since they'd been here the last time. That would have accounted for the increased humidity, too, he decided. He was curious to know how often it rained here, and if there was a flood season, and when that might have been.

They'd stepped out of the trees several meters away from the location of the bridge. Ronon led them downstream toward it. Just like last time, Ronon crossed first. Colonel Sheppard made Rodney go next. Though the Canadian wailed and complained all the way, he made it across safely.

When Radek felt the colonel's hand come to rest on his shoulder, he knew it was his turn to cross. Sheppard's tone was kind when he asked, "Doc, you going to be okay?"

Radek knew what the colonel must be thinking, because he was thinking the same thing. He glanced at the bridge and then he looked up to meet Colonel Sheppard's gaze. "I am okay," he said.

"Do you require—" Teyla began.

"No," Radek said firmly. "I can do it by myself."

He could sense the stares of all four of his teammates on him, watching now from both sides of the river. Radek tried not to think about the audience. He took a deep breath and stepped onto the bridge.

-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-

_Radek is supposed to be sleeping. At this time of the night, they're all supposed to be asleep, all the good little soldiers in their beds, resting for tomorrow. They're never alone, so many of them live here together in the barracks, but even though they're all housed in one place like this, it's possible to be lonely. Radek still marvels at his luck in being placed in the same company as his best friend Mirek. They'd thought they would be separated on the day they'd arrived. They hadn't, and Radek is grateful. Having a friend near him eases his loneliness a little. He feels sorry for the soldiers who don't have a lifelong friend to help them survive their military experience._

_Radek is composing a letter to Dušana. He'll write it all down later, once he figures out what he wants to tell her. Maybe he'll talk about the training exercise he and his fellow soldiers will begin tomorrow. They're going to have a mock battle, sleep on the ground, pretend to capture and kill the enemy. Radek doesn't want to do it. He still hates the feeling of the weapon in his hands and he thinks he probably always will. He decides he should tell Dušana about the amusing sergeant who is one of their commanding officer's aides. He always forgets Radek's name, though the sergeant's name is Zelenka, too. He'll tell her how Mirek and another conscript sneaked into the officer's quarters several nights ago and put glue on Sergeant Zelenka's comb and toothbrush. He won't, however, retell the punishment Mirek and his cohort received for their little trick. He will only say Captain Vojacek had not been pleased. _

_Radek listens to the soft snores of the other conscripts. On the other side of the room, several bunks down, he thinks he hears someone whimper. He counts the beds. With a little jolt of mingled worry and shock, he realizes who it is, whose bunk the noise is coming from. _

"_Mirek?" he calls out quietly in the dark. He slides off his own bunk and creeps across the floor until he is kneeling beside his friend. He puts out a hand and touches Mirek's shoulder. "Mir, are you okay?" _

"_No," Mirek moans into his pillow._

"_What's the matter?"_

"_I don't know. I…I just started thinking about home, and…you know how it is."_

"_Yes, I know."_

"_It hurts, Radek. You know what I mean?" _

"_I miss my family just as much as you miss yours. We all do," Radek says. He pats Mirek's shoulder awkwardly. "You need to try to concentrate on something else. War games tomorrow. We'll be sleeping in tents. You'll like that."_

"_Yeah," Mirek says shakily._

"_Rations," Radek says. ""Lots of field rations. You'll like that, too." _

"_People think I'm weird because I like those."_

"_Hey, that's not why _I_ think you're weird."_

_Mirek makes a noise that is somewhere between a snort and a sob. "Oh, God… don't make me laugh. Somebody will hear. I don't want to get in trouble again." _

"_Sorry," Radek whispers._

_Mirek sniffles and wipes his nose with his hand. Radek makes a face at him, but Mirek doesn't seem to notice. "Radek," Mirek says. "Have you ever thought about…about defecting? About running away and going home?"_

"_No," Radek says. He leans in close to his friend so that his face is nearly touching the side of Mirek's head. "Mir, you shouldn't talk like that. What if someone hears? Anyway, I thought you wanted to be a soldier."_

"_I did," Mirek says. "I do. Sometimes I just get scared, you know?"_

"_I know," says Radek. "Me too." _

"_You must think I'm stupid for crying."_

"_No, I don't."_

"_Really?" _

"_Want to know something?" Radek says. "I want to be here even less than you do right now. I feel like crying sometimes, too."_

"_But you never do. I never hear you." _

_Radek chews on his lower lip. He realizes Mirek's observation is correct. He hasn't cried since the day he left home, as much as he's wanted to since he's been here. Other soldiers have wept. Radek has heard them, late at night, like misbegotten ghosts keening eerily in the darkness for the loss of their former lives. The little fellow in the bunk next to Radek's sobs nightly for his mother when he thinks everyone else is asleep. His name is Andrej and he doesn't look old enough to be in the army, though Radek knows Andrej is eighteen, just like Mirek and himself and so many of the others. _

_At the moments when Radek feels like weeping, he remembers Jirina's words at the train station. _Soldiers don't cry_. He had wanted to be brave for Jirina, and he wonders if she'd be proud of him if she could see him now. When he's afraid, he thinks of Dušana, too. He imagines he can hear his cousin singing to him, chanting the monster rhyme with him to frighten away the denizens in his closet. He repeats in his head all the stories Uncle Jaromir has told him. He thinks of time spent reading with Mother and skating with Milena. The memories surround him with a feeling that chases away his tears. _

_He says to his friend, "What makes you happy, Mir?"_

"_I don't know," Mirek says. "Girls? Hockey, I guess. Potato soup." _

_Radek bites the inside of his mouth to keep himself from laughing. "Good Lord, how can you _like_ potato soup? You really will eat anything that's edible, won't you? Anyway, I'm talking about things that make you really happy, not just things that you like." _

"_You'll hate me if I tell you."_

"_No, I won't," Radek says. "Tell me." _

_Mirek rolls over and props himself on one elbow. "Promise you won't be mad, okay?"_

"_I promise."_

"_Okay," says Mirek. "I…um…when I think of your sister…"_

"_Milena?" Radek blurts, and then looks around to see if he's wakened anyone. He continues in a whisper. "My _sister _makes you happy?" _

"_Yeah," says Mirek. "I think I might be in love with her, as weird as it seems. That's okay, isn't it? I mean, you're not going to shoot me in the leg, or something, are you?"_

"_No,' Radek says. "Can I tell you something?"_

"_Sure."_

"Your_ sister makes _me_ happy." _

_Mirek's smile is smug. "I knew that." _

"_You did?"_

"_Everyone knows. A person would have to be deaf and blind not to have noticed," Mirek says. "You know what? When Jirina grows up, I hope she marries you, because I don't think she could do any better. She wanted a brave soldier. I hope she knows she's got the bravest." _

"_But, I'm not—" _

"_You do what you have to do, even when it scares the hell out of you. That takes guts, Radek. Not everybody can be like that." Mirek flops onto his stomach again and buries his head in his pillow. "We'd better go to sleep before that damned sergeant hears us. I swear to God, he's got ears like a dog. Hears every damn thing."_

"_Mirek—"_

"_G'night, Radek. See you at roll call," Mirek mumbles. "Thanks for the talk. It was good." _

-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-

Beyond the river, the terrain began to slope upward. Nobody talked much as they climbed. This was new territory for all of them on this world. The forest was dense and occasionally Ronon and Colonel Sheppard had to cut through some thick foliage in order for them to pass. They'd walked for half an hour after crossing the bridge. Rodney kept insisting the power readings were getting stronger, but nobody saw any evidence of anything that could generate power.

Radek wondered how much further they would have to go before they discovered anything. He had to keep telling himself they _would_ find something. The power had to be generated somehow, and Shadow had said that beyond her village there was an Ancient structure which contained a lot of machines. Radek kept looking for anything that appeared remotely Ancient as he marched along behind Colonel Sheppard.

When they topped the rise of a small hill, the forest began to grow less dense. At first, Radek worried that they might be getting close to another body of water. He wasn't anxious to traverse any more streams until the return trip to the 'Gate, so he was greatly relieved when, instead of a lake or a river, they encountered a clearing.

"Well, what do you know?" Colonel Sheppard exclaimed as he stepped out fo the woods. "There really _is_ a village!"

Radek emerged from the trees and stood beside Teyla and Colonel Sheppard. He sensed Ronon and Rodney come to a stop behind him, as they all beheld a grouping of neat little huts in the clearing. Everything was very still and quiet. There were no sounds or signs of movement anywhere, except for the occasional shrill note of a bird. Radek felt an eerie tremor run the length of his spine when he realized there were no fires, no one gathering water, no one tending animals or working with tools. The little settlement was empty. An image came to Radek's mind of the ghost towns he'd read about in stories of the American west.

"Here is the village," he said quietly. "But where are the people?"

-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-

"This is weird," John said, and immediately felt like an idiot for letting his mouth get ahead of his brain. _Of course_ it was weird. Spread out before them in a picturesque little clearing was an idyllic little village that was completely deserted. Usually, there was only one reason for a settlement to be devoid of life in the Pegasus galaxy, and the thought of it made John's insides clench. Still, when he looked around, he saw no signs of the destruction usually left behind after a Wraith attack. There was no evidence of fires or broken-down buildings. The place looked as though the inhabitants had just packed up and left.

"This is way beyond weird," Rodney said from his spot just behind Radek Zelenka's left shoulder. "It's creepy."

"It is ghost town," was Radek's comment.

"Leave it to you to bring _ghosts_ into this, Zelenka," Rodney said. 'What is it with you and the paranormal, anyway?"

"You're not afraid of paranormal, are you, Rodney?"

"Me? Are you kidding? What's to be afraid of? Everyone knows ghosts aren't real anyway, and—"

"McKay!" John said sharply, cutting him off before he got into a really good rant. "Can you please leave the X-Files stuff for later? I think we need to check this place out."

"Hmph. If you don't want any discussions of the paranormal, then you should be getting after Agent Mulder over here," Rodney grumbled. He jerked a thumb in Radek's direction. "Spooky."

"That's enough," John said. "No more picking on Dr. Zelenka, okay?"

"Hey!" Rodney exclaimed.

"Thank you," said Radek.

Rodney looked indignant. "How come you never get after people for picking on me, Sheppard?"

"Because," said John. "Sometimes you just annoy the crap out of people, McKay. You bring your trouble on yourself. Now, why don't you go with Ronon and have a look around? And McKay…I want you guys to stay together. Got it? Teyla and I will take Dr. Zelenka with us. Keep in radio contact, all right?"

"Got it," Ronon said.

"What are we looking for?" Rodney said. "There's no one here."

"We don't know that," said John.

"What are you talking about? Of course there's nobody here. Do you see anyone here?"

"Maybe they are here but we cannot see them," Radek said. "Maybe they can hide like Shadow."

That had been exactly what John was thinking, too. He tried to imagine an entire village full of invisible people. It seemed way too bizarre, but he was learning all the time that weirdness in the Pegasus galaxy was the rule rather than the exception.

"And why, exactly, would they want to hide?" Rodney was saying.

"Maybe they heard _you _were coming, McKay," Ronon rumbled. He clapped a hand onto Rodney's shoulder. "Let's go. Maybe we can find the source of that power."

"Hey! Enough of the personal contact, already!" Rodney protested, but he didn't put up a fight when Ronon turned him around and led him toward the village and one of the little houses.

John turned toward the remaining members of his team. "You guys ready?"

"Yes," said Radek.

"I am ready," added Teyla.

"We're good, then. Let's have a look and see if there's anyone home," John led the way toward the nearest hut.

John was surprised to find the door open when they reached the small dwelling. It was almost as if the door hadn't been latched properly and had blown open in a windstorm. John gripped his P-90 and stepped cautiously across the threshold. The little house was quiet. Everything inside looked orderly and neat, even though it was all covered with a layer of dust.

John went a little further in, and nodded for Teyla and Radek to follow him. The house consisted of three rooms. The one they were standing in seemed to be the main room that served as kitchen, dining room and general gathering place. John noticed a table and several crude stools and a lot of clay pots. There was a woven mat on the floor that looked like something out of a museum. Another worn piece of cloth covered one window.

Two doorways led to other rooms. This society didn't seem advanced enough to have plumbing, so John guessed neither of the spots in back were bathrooms. John thought they might be bedrooms.

John watched Radek as he wandered toward one of the doorways. The engineer looked a little nervous, but he also seemed very curious as he disappeared into the room. John didn't feel entirely comfortable letting the engineer out of his sight, but when he made to follow Radek into the room, Teyla held up her hand.

"I will go," she said quietly.

"Okay," John said. "Watch out for anyth—"

John didn't get to finish his sentence before he heard Radek's voice coming from the back room. "Oh…! _Má bůh, jaký stát se zde_? Teyla! Colonel Sheppard!"

The engineer sounded a little panicked, and John wondered what he had found. He hurried for the doorway. Teyla got there a few seconds before John did, and she went quickly into the room where Radek was.

"Dr. Zelenka, are you all right?" John heard the Athosian ask gently.

"I think so, yes," said Radek's shaky voice. "But, look at _those."_

John came in just in time to see where the Czech engineer was pointing. Lying on the floor, side-by-side, were two humanoid skeletons.

_Ah, crap,_ was John's first thought, but he refrained from saying it aloud. He figured he was probably stating the obvious, but he opted for, "Well, _this _looks like a very big problem."

**TBC**  
--------------------_  
Má bůh, jaký stát se zde_? – My God, what happened here?

**A/N #2 –** aren't I naughty for leaving you all hanging like that? Well, I guess you'll just have to wait till next update to find out more…  
Meanwhile, here's a pic of Grace for you to go "aaww!" over. This is the one I promised to post earlier & is a pic of Grace at 4 weeks of age. It's my Grace next to a Coca-Cola can. Sorry it's a bit blurry. The breeder took it and she's just getting used to learning how to use her digital camera.

To see it, you just have to replace everything I've written in parentheses with the actual symbols to make the proper URL.

http(colon-slash-slash)i3(dot)tinypic(dot)com(slash)24bkmbq(dot)jpg


	20. Not Of This World

**DISCLAIMER – **_Stargate: Atlantis_ and its characters are the property of MGM/UA and associates (although in this story Shadow and Dr. Perlman are mine). I have not received compensation from any source in any form for the creation of this story. It is a work of fan fiction created solely for my enjoyment and the entertainment of others. It is not intended to generate profit in any way.

**RATING – **This story carries a content rating of T

**ARCHIVE – **If you would like to archive this story, you have my permission to do so. Please, just let me know where it is being archived.

**A/N – **I'm back! Thanks for all the awesome reviews you guys left me while I was gone. I certainly needed to see something to cheer me up, after the weekend I just had! Anyway, Chapter 20 is a short chapter, but I hope you will all enjoy it.

A friend of mine pointed out to me that this story is not exactly canon. Yes, I did already know that, and to those of you who are concerned about the canon-ness of fan fiction, I offer my most sincere apologies. This story contains my interpretation of characters and events, and it -is- after all, a work of fan fiction. I am writing the story that is in my head right now, OC's and all. My next one will most likely be more 'canon' than this one, so please bear with me. Thanks.

Anything in «double-angle quotation marks» represents something written in Ancient.

I have no beta. Any mistakes you may find are mine.

* * *

**The Song Of Silent Rivers**

**20. Not Of This World**

"Sheppard! Sheppard, we found dead people!"

Rodney McKay's voice preceded him across the clearing as he came toward the cottage out of which Radek, Teyla and the colonel had just emerged. Radek was not surprised to see his friend running. If Rodney had made his discovery the same way Radek had done, no doubt the Canadian had been pushed beyond the point his skittish nerves could handle without going to pieces.

Radek noticed Ronon was following Rodney at a slow, almost casual pace. He did not seem disturbed in the least at having found 'dead people'. Colonel Sheppard and Teyla appeared equally unaffected, but Radek suspected they were just hiding their feelings better than either he or Rodney were capable of doing. To his own credit, Radek thought, he wasn't running and shouting like his Canadian friend. He couldn't stop shaking, but at least he wasn't panicking.

Rodney was pink in the face and panting when he came to a stop in front of Colonel Sheppard. He looked as if he had a lot more to say than what he'd been yelling across the clearing, but was too winded to say it.

"Easy, Rodney. Take it easy," Colonel Sheppard said. "Catch your breath. Tell me exactly what you found."

While Rodney was gulping lungfuls of air, Ronon supplied, "We found a skeleton in one of the huts."

"We found two of them in this hut," said the colonel, nodding in the direction of the dwelling he, Teyla and Radek had just exited. "What do you think happened?"

Ronon shrugged one shoulder. "Don't know," he said. "They've been dead for a long time, whatever happened to them. Bones are completely clean."

"Just like the ones we found," Sheppard said. "How many of the houses did you look into?"

"Three," said Rodney, who had, apparently, finally recovered enough oxygen to talk. "The other two were deserted, but I think you need to see what we found in one of them. I think somebody's been in it recently. Other than us, I mean."

"Shadow," Radek said. He hadn't realized he'd spoken aloud until he noticed Rodney's curious gaze on him.

"Well, I'd say that's probably a safe bet, judging by the artwork," said Rodney.

"What sort of artwork?" asked Teyla.

"Maps," said Ronon.

"Among other things," Rodney added. "There are a lot of drawings, too. Really detailed drawings of plants and animals, all over the place."

"I think we need to see this," said the colonel. "Show us the way."

Radek fell into step beside Teyla as they followed Ronon and Rodney across the clearing. Colonel Sheppard came along behind them, probably watching out for anything unusual. Ronon led them to the little house at the very edge of the clearing. On the outside, the structure appeared nearly identical to all the other houses in the village, and just like the first hut they'd entered, the door of this one was open. Beyond the threshold, most of the similarities ended. Radek saw the difference the moment he stepped inside.

Every available centimetre of wall space was covered in yellowing, coarse-looking pieces of paper, and every paper held a drawing. Radek saw flowers, trees, birds, cats and other strange creatures he couldn't even begin to name. There were diagrams, too, but mostly pictures. Looking around the room, Radek could see the progression of the art from childish line figures to intricately rendered images. A drawing of a leopard-like animal in mid-leap looked dangerously perfect in its detail. Radek was captivated by the lifelike image of the leaping forest cat. He did not doubt Shadow had drawn it and all the other pictures in the hut's main room. At the edge of the drawing of the forest cat there was a caption, written in Ancient that read,_ «Beware the spirit that eats man's bones.»_

It was not a comforting message, Radek thought. Some of the other drawings were labelled similarly with warnings, though most were just pictures that spoke for themselves. Radek recognized a few of the images from Shadow's 'survival guide'. It appeared as though she'd been reproducing some of the artwork she had originally done here.

Radek let his gaze travel around the room once again. Near the doorway that led into one of the two back rooms, he noticed a picture that was unlike any of the others. The drawing showed two people, a man and a woman. The man was clearly older. He had curly hair and a kind expression on his face. The woman, unmistakably, was Shadow. A bird perched on her shoulder and she held the man's hand. The writing at the bottom said _«For Remembrance»_

Radek went up to the picture of Shadow and her father so he could look at it more closely. It was the only depiction of humans among all the artwork in the place. Radek was amazed at how exact a likeness Shadow had created of herself, and he could only assume the image of her father was equally accurate. He reached out with a forefinger and gently traced the edge of the drawing. The paper felt brittle and rough against his skin. He could imagine Shadow's delicate little hand holding her writing instrument, stroking each perfect line across the page with an artist's care. What had she been thinking when she'd created an image of her father 'for remembrance'? A lump threatened to form in Radek's throat when he contemplated it.

He turned away from the portrait of Shadow and her father to discover that his friends were similarly engaged in studying the various pictures. Rodney, predictably, was peering at the diagrams which Ronon had described as maps. Colonel Sheppard was staring at the leaping forest cat.

"Wow…these are amazing," Colonel Sheppard was saying. "This cat looks just like the one Shadow drew for us. I sure as hell wouldn't want to meet up with one of these for real."

"It might be interesting," Ronon said.

"For who? You or the cat?" Rodney asked, without looking away from what he was doing.

"Who do you think, McKay?" Ronon asked. He made a feral grin that Rodney, whose back was toward him, did not see.

Rodney made a disgruntled snorting sound in response to Ronon's comment, while Colonel Sheppard appeared to be trying hard not to laugh at the exchange. The colonel recovered his composure quickly, though, and asked, "So, Ronon, did you and Rodney happen to notice any drawings or writing in the other two places you checked?"

"No," Ronon said. "We didn't poke around, though. Might've been some hidden away where we couldn't see it, but there was nothing obvious."

"Okay," Sheppard said. "Did you look into the back rooms when you were in here the first time?"

Ronon shook his head. "When we saw this room, McKay said we should tell you right away."

"That's fine. We can check them out now." The colonel turned his attention to Rodney. "Hey, McKay, do you think you can tear yourself away from the maps for a minute?"

"These are written in Ancient," Rodney said, not paying attention to Sheppard in the slightest. "What do you think 'place of worship' means? Do you think these people worshipped the Ancients?"

Sheppard shook his head in the manner of a parent amused by a child. "Never mind. We'll let you know if we see anything more interesting than the maps."

-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-

John had to say he was amazed. As soon as he'd seen the artwork papering the walls of the main room of the house, he'd known this had been the place where Shadow had been living. The drawings were unmistakably hers, and the self-portrait had only served to confirm that fact in his mind. It was also easy for him to see that someone had been in the hut recently. The table and stools and earthenware were relatively free of dust. The woven rug on the floor looked cleaner than the previous one John had seen.

On the table there was a clay bowl that contained the remains of some sort of food around which an insect idly buzzed. Next to the bowl were some things that looked like sticks of charcoal. They were of varying lengths and sharpened to fine points on the end. John guessed they were writing instruments. He hadn't seen anything like these in the other hut.

Another difference that caught John's attention was the fact that the two doorways that led into the back rooms were covered by curtains of woven fabric just like the rug on the floor. The drapes were faded and threadbare, but still concealed whatever might be in the two rooms. Whoever had put them there, John decided, was concerned with privacy to some degree. That made John all the more curious to know what was back there.

While Rodney continued to study the drawings on the wall and Ronon stayed with the Canadian in the main room, John ventured toward the first of the two curtained-off rooms. Radek and Teyla went to investigate the second one.

John pushed back the woven curtain and stepped into the little room. The instant he crossed the threshold, he knew this place was unlike any other location in the village. One entire wall contained shelves that were lined with jars and pots. Most of the containers were made of clay, but near the top of the shelves John's eye detected the telltale sparkle of sunlight reflecting on glass. Beside the glass vials was a metallic container. It didn't take an anthropologist to know metal and glass vessels weren't part of this society's craftsmanship. These had to be from somewhere else; another world. No wonder their owner had been trying to conceal them.

John scanned the room and saw a crude mattress and a small table. There were more of the charcoal-like sticks on the table. In the far corner of the room, John noticed a large wooden box which was partially obscured by a woven cloth. John went over to it and removed the fabric. The box was not latched, so John carefully raised the lid and peered inside.

The box was filled with books. John told himself he really shouldn't have been surprised by that, but he was surprised anyway. A few of the books looked like something this world might have fashioned, with yellowed, rough paper and crude binding that appeared as if the pages had been loosely sewn together with cord. Most of the texts, however, looked as modern as anything Earth could have produced. John picked up a few of the topmost books to see what was underneath. He expected more texts and papers, and he did find those, but he also discovered something that was as out-of-place on this planet as he could ever have imagined.

_A data tablet_, was his first thought when he saw the object. It looked uncannily similar to the one Rodney was always lugging around with him. Whatever the thing was, it was definitely a machine. John put the books down and lifted the device from the box, deciding right away that Rodney and Radek needed to see it. Those two brains could figure out what the device was for, if anyone could.

-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-

_This is Shadow's room_, Radek thought.

The room that lay beyond the woven curtain couldn't be mistaken for anything other than a child's bedroom. The mattress was covered with a woven blanket, faded now, that had once been brightly-striped with red, orange and green. On the mattress were three rudimentary rag dolls made of the same sort of woven fabric as the curtain on the door. There were more pictures on the walls, similar to the ones in the outer room. A shelf contained folded material that might have been clothing.

Under the window, Radek saw a small table where a clay pot rested. The pot was filled with the rose-like flowers he'd admired on his first visit to this world. The cherry-coloured blossoms had withered but they hadn't yet become completely dry, which led him to believe the flowers hadn't been there long. Perhaps Shadow had picked them a day or two before she'd stepped through the 'Gate and into Atlantis. The beautiful, wilted flowers reminded Radek painfully of Shadow. They would have been exotically lovely to behold at first, but plucked from their natural environment they were slowly, inexorably dying.

He turned away from the clay vase, unable to bear the sight of it any longer. He found Teyla watching him. The Athosian woman was holding something in her hands, and when he gave her a curious look, she offered the thing to him. Radek took the object from her and saw that it was a small toy made of an extremely soft fabric. It was in the likeness of some sort of animal that might have been a dog if it had been an Earth creature. The fabric was green.

"That," said Teyla, "is not of this world."

"No, it isn't." Radek had to agree as he studied the soft, green toy. The stitching was perfect, no doubt done by a machine. It was far too advanced to be from this village, judging by the evidence they'd seen so far. Radek rubbed his thumb along the floppy ear of the green toy animal. "Where did you find it, Teyla?"

"It was by the door," Teyla said, and pointed to a small woven basket. "In there."

Radek hadn't noticed the basket when he'd entered the room. It was utilitarian in its design, completely incongruous with the green toy it had held. He said, "Now, I think the question we should be asking is what world is this from?"

"Perhaps," said Teyla, "A better question would be, what is it doing here?"

-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-

John led his entire team outside, and now they were all sitting or standing in front of the hut that they'd come to think of as Shadow's house. Rodney had taken the map from the main room and had given it to Ronon and Teyla. John had given the device he'd found to Radek. Now, Radek and Rodney were busily engaged in trying to figure out what the machine was for.

John had already looked at the map and felt he had a good idea of where to find the Ancient structure, so he left Ronon and Teyla to study it. He wandered over to where the two scientists sat next to each other on the grass. John noticed how well Rodney and Radek could get along when they had a puzzle to solve together. There was no hint of the brotherly squabbling John had been forced to put up with from them earlier. John could hear them talking quietly but excitedly, heads close together, finishing each other's sentences. They were a great pair, those two, no matter how much Rodney might deny even _liking_ Radek and no matter how much Radek complained that Rodney was the sole cause of his recurring headaches. John could recognize true friends when he saw them.

John knelt on the grass near the two scientists and tried to see what they were doing with the device.

"Hey, guys," he said. "Any progress?"

Rodney looked up at him, clearly annoyed at having been interrupted. "Oh, yes, we're making progress by leaps and bounds, Colonel," he said. "Can't you tell? We're practically ready to reverse engineer the thing and build a new one. Who knows? In the process of doing that, we might even figure out how to _turn it on_."

"Rodney—" Radek interjected.

"What?" Rodney snapped. "You don't know how to turn it on, either."

"It needs power source," Radek said. "You can't turn on machine that has no power."

"Do you think I don't already know that?" Rodney said. "All I'm saying is that you have no idea _how_ to turn it on, even if it did have power."

"Is intuitive device, Rodney. Of course I know how to turn it on. Do you see this depression right here? Is most logical place to put a power switch, so this is most likely how to turn the device on. I can even speculate about what it is for. I think it's—"

"A recording device. I know. That's what I think it is, too. It looks a lot like our data—"

"Yes, yes our data tablets. Perhaps it belonged to the person who created Shadow. Perhaps all the answers we are looking for are right here. All we need to do—"

"We have to take it back to Atlantis," Rodney finished.

John couldn't help gawking at them, amazed as always by the free flow of their exchanges with each other. "So," he said. "I guess you have made some progress, then. One of you can bring that device along. We've got an Ancient structure to locate, remember? Come on, and we'll see if we can find the rest of the technologically advanced stuff around here. We might even discover something that'll power your device."

-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-

It seemed to Radek that finding Shadow's village hadn't really provided many answers. All it had done was pose more questions.

Before leaving the settlement, they'd looked into a few more of the huts, but had found nothing out of the ordinary. They hadn't seen any more skeletons, neither had they discovered any more out-of-place objects or devices. It seemed that Shadow's house was the only one that contained anything which was otherworldly in nature, which begged the question of where Shadow and her father had come from. If they hadn't suspected as much before, it was fairly obvious now that Shadow and her father had not originated here. Perhaps the tablet device would be able to provide them with some answers. Radek had placed it and the green toy in his backpack to take back to Atlantis with them. Radek reasoned that he didn't necessarily need to bring along the doglike plush animal, but he thought Shadow might like to have it if – no, _when_ – she woke up. Maybe his friends would think the gesture was sentimental on his part, but Radek didn't care.

The skeletons were another mystery entirely. In all the houses the team had examined, they'd only found three skeletons. There had to be more than three people in the village, so the question remained about where the rest of the villagers had gone. Ronon had said it was unlikely the Wraith had captured them all, though he did admit it was a remote possibility. Radek didn't even want to speculate about what had happened to them. He knew it had to be something gruesome, and he didn't like to think about that.

Instead, he concentrated on the map as he walked along beside Colonel Sheppard. The drawing was not as accurately rendered as Shadow's other artwork, but it gave the basic description of the area surrounding the village. A spot just beyond the village was marked as _«Place Of Worship»_ and beyond that was _«Hidden Place Of The Ancestors»_. Radek was just as curious as the others about what the place of worship might be. It wasn't far from the village, so he supposed they would all know soon enough.

**TBC  
--------------------**

**A/N #2 –** gah! My dad and I had the weekend from hell. We went to visit my brother over the weekend and on Saturday somebody broke into my dad's vehicle and stole my handbag -in broad daylight- right in front of the hardware store where my brother's best friend works. I lost my cell, my prescription sunglasses, credit & debit cards, ID, keys…everything. So, I spent part of Saturday calling all my service providers to report my cards & phone stolen. The police were singularly unhelpful when I went to see them. Then, to make matters worse, my dad lost his keys and we could not get into the truck on Sunday. When we finally got home late yesterday my dad discovered his refrigerator (less than 2 years old) had died over the weekend and all his food was ruined. I had to help him clean the fridge and then had to stay here today until a repair man came. Repairman didn't show up…big surprise there. :P

So you can see how my time's been going. However, staying here all day gave me a chance to write a little and get my mind off things. It's nice to be able to escape into fantasy land for a while. Anyway, I should be able to post the next bit on the story soon. I promise I won't keep you waiting too long! Cheers!


	21. Ghosts

**DISCLAIMER – **I do not own _Stargate: Atlantis_. It and its characters are the intellectual property of MGM/UA and associates (although in this story, Shadow and Dr. Itzhak Perlman are my original characters). I am writing this for fun, not profit. I have not received compensation in any form, from any source, for the creation of this story. No suing…please!

**RATING – **This story carries a content rating of** T** (mostly for the mention of violence and death in this chapter)

**ARCHIVE – **Anyone who would like to archive this story has my permission to do so. All I ask is that you let me know where it is being archived. Thanks.

**SPOILERS – **Everything up to the end of Season 2 is fair game. Also in this chapter there's a slight reference to the Season 3 episode "Sateda".

**A/N – **Thanks once again for the reviews on Chapter 20. I love all you folks who are reading my story and especially those of you who are leaving me such lovely comments and replies. Please continue to reply & review, as I really do enjoy reading them, and I appreciate the time you take to write them for me. Anyway, I hope you will all like Chapter 21. It is a bit dark, but a few more mysteries about Shadow's planet are revealed. I have already started to write the last two chapters of this story, but there's quite a bit more to tell before I get to the epilogue chapter(s). I hope everyone's still interested in this story.

Yep. Still no beta. Any mistakes are mine.

* * *

**The Song Of Silent Rivers**

**21. Ghosts**

Carson Beckett could not shake the nebulous feeling of dread that surrounded him each time he entered Shadow's room, gloved and masked to protect her from any transient microbes he might have been carrying. The room felt cold to him, even though he knew the temperature was being maintained at a constant twenty-one degrees Celsius. The regular hiss of the respirator and the steady beep of the heart monitor were the only sounds in the room, though Carson imagined he heard other things. The whisperings of ghosts, perhaps, watching and waiting to claim a new member for their ethereal ranks. As a boy in Scotland, Carson had heard his fair share of ghost stories. He found he could almost believe them, now, though he expected his friends would question his sanity for such a thought.

Carson had seen people die before. He'd seen far too many people give up their lives for innumerable reasons; sickness, accidents, suicide, intentional violence. It was never easy for him to see the progression of death. It became more difficult every time, most especially when he realized he had done everything within his capability as a doctor and was left only with his contribution as a fellow human being to ease a patient's last days or hours.

Sometimes patients came fighting back from the brink of oblivion, and Carson suspected it was only the sheer force of their indomitable will to live that saved them in the end, their refusal to give up despite any odds against them. Carson couldn't help wondering if Shadow had enough of that fighting spirit to bring her back from the edge. She seemed so delicate, so fragile. He couldn't imagine her fighting for long, but he wanted to believe she would surprise him. He wanted her to live, and he found himself momentarily startled by the powerful nature of that desire. Back in medical school, a well-meaning professor had told Carson's class never to become emotionally involved with a patient. Throughout his career, Carson had found that to be the hardest aspect of his practice. Mostly, he managed to keep a modicum of professional detachment, but sometimes he found himself empathizing with a patient's suffering in a way that became painful for him, too.

Carson tried to push down his emotions as he closed the door behind him and crossed the room to Shadow's bed. He and Itzhak Perlman had been taking turns checking on Shadow every hour. The good news was that her condition didn't seem to be deteriorating any further, but the bad news was that she didn't seem to be improving very much, either. Itzhak had said Shadow had shown signs of awakening when he'd checked on her last. He'd said she'd moved her hands and head a little, but she hadn't opened her eyes fully or responded directly to his touch.

After checking Shadow's temperature and blood pressure, Carson inspected all the machines and monitoring devices to assure him nothing had changed since he'd last been in the room himself. He made notes for himself and Itzhak on Shadow's chart.

Examination completed, Carson sat carefully on the edge of Shadow's bed. He lifted her hand and held it. He was disheartened by how limp and unresponsive her fingers were. He rubbed the back of her hand with his latex-gloved thumb, and wished for about the millionth time that they weren't in this situation.

While he sat contemplating Shadow's still figure, he thought about John and the others who'd gone to Shadow's world. He thought most of all about Radek who, despite what had happened on M4X-382 the last time he'd been there, had volunteered to go back. It was all because of Shadow, Carson knew. An inexplicably strong bond had formed between Shadow and Radek, and it was that which had sent the engineer offworld to look for something that might help the deaf woman. Carson hoped the team would find something useful, and that they'd come home to Atlantis soon.

Carson was startled when he felt Shadow's hand move suddenly. Her fingers twitched in Carson's grasp. He looked down at her and saw that her eyelids were wavering delicately, too. Carson reached out with his free hand and rested his palm on Shadow's forehead. Her skin still felt hot to his touch.

"Shadow, open your eyes," he said, even though he knew by now that she would not be able to hear him. "Can you open your eyes for me, love? You'd make me very happy if you could."

For a moment, nothing happened and Shadow lay completely still. Then, as if in obedience to Carson's request, Shadow's eyelids fluttered and she opened her eyes fully. Her hand trembled in his, and he felt her fingers curl ever-so-slightly.

Carson gently squeezed her hand. He smiled at her. "There's a good lass," he said softly. "I know you could do it. Dr. Perlman's going to be very pleased when I tell him about this. I expect your River Man is going to be mightily pleased when he gets back and finds you awake, too."

Shadow's gaze appeared unfocussed for several seconds, but then her eyes moved so that she was looking past Carson, toward the door and the large observation window. Carson glanced over his shoulder, but he couldn't see anyone on the other side of the pseudo-glass window. He wondered what Shadow thought she saw over there.

Then, it occurred to him. Shadow wasn't imaging someone on the other side of the window. She was looking for someone. _Radek_, he thought. She was looking for Radek. The last time Shadow was awake, Radek had been standing right there, peering through the large transparent barrier that separated the isolation room from the next one. The sight of Radek's face had probably been the last thing Shadow had seen before she'd fallen into unconsciousness. No doubt she was wondering where he was now.

Carson stroked Shadow's forehead, pushing back the strands of damp hair that clung to it. He was sorry she couldn't hear him, because he wanted to reassure her that Radek was coming back, that he cared about her, and that he wanted to help her. Carson wanted to say everything would be all right, if only Shadow would hold on and not give up.

-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-

Shadow awoke to the Healer's touch. He was sitting on her bed. He had sat with her like this before, though she could not recall when. It seemed as if that had been ages ago, in a place very far away from here, wherever 'here' was. Shadow did not know. The only thing Shadow knew for certain was that every part of her was in pain. She had never ached like this before. The hurting frightened her. She did not know what to do.

Shadow longed for River Man to return. He had been there in the night, beyond the strange wall through which she could see him but which kept them from touching each other. Shadow did not understand why River Man had not simply walked through the door and come to her. She wanted River Man to hold her as he had done before. She wanted him to speak to her, sing to her so she could feel his voice. She wanted the comforting weight of his head resting against hers, the way it had been in the Healer's strange white room. She had been soothed by River Man's presence, reassured by his nearness, and she had almost believed his strength would keep her from losing her battle with the warrior Death.

Now, she was frightened and alone again.

The Healer was a good, kind man but he never stayed with her and never offered her the consolation she craved. She wondered where River Man had gone. Perhaps he had gone to eat, or perhaps he was sleeping. Shadow tried to recall what he looked like in repose. The lines on his forehead and at the edges of his mouth smoothed themselves out when he slumbered. She remembered that. Perhaps it was an odd thing to recall, but Shadow did not care. She held the image of River Man's sleeping face in her mind as long as she could.

She told herself she had to stay awake until River Man returned. If she kept her eyes open long enough, she would surely see him. She did not know how long she would have to wait, but she was determined to hold on as long as she needed to. She did not want to die alone. She had been alone far too long. Even if River Man could not be as near to her as she wanted him to be, she at least wanted to let the sight of him fill her vision before the end.

-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-

The planet was full of ghosts.

Radek could feel them everywhere in the forest. The ghosts of Shadow's world were more real in his mind than anything he and Dušana had ever imagined they'd seen in the lower streets of Prague. The dead were in this place; hundreds of them, drifting invisibly through the trees. Each rustle of leaves or strange birdcall could have been one of them making its presence known. Radek thought of the skeletons in the huts back in the village, and how alarmed he'd been at discovering them. The three dead in the village seemed insignificant now, compared to what Radek and his teammates had discovered in the place marked on Shadow's map as the Place of Worship.

Radek had never seen the aftermath of a Wraith attack firsthand before, but the instant he beheld the scene in the clearing beyond the village, he knew that was what he was looking at. The grove had once contained a single, large wooden building. It was a ruin, now, broken down and scarred in places by the discharge of energy weapons. A huge section of one wall was missing, which had allowed the Atlantis team a clear view of what lay inside.

_Bones._

Hundreds, perhaps thousands, of bones rested amid the destruction. Still more bones lay outside the building, burned clean and white by the planet's brilliant sun. The clearing that had once been a place of worship, a place of happiness and peace, was now an open grave. They had been there a long time, those bones, but it didn't make the horror of what had happened any less real or poignant. The shock was fresh in Radek's mind, as if the culling had only just happened.

Radek wanted to look away, close his eyes, run, but he felt compelled by some grim allure to gather as much visual detail as he could. The sight made his insides clench, and it was only when his shaking body would no longer support him and he found himself sinking to his knees in the grass that he was finally able to shut his eyes. Dimly, he was aware of Rodney's voice, rambling, panicked. Radek didn't know what Rodney was saying, only that the Canadian was shocked and frightened. Radek couldn't blame him. They hadn't really known what they would find on Shadow's world, but Radek was sure none of them had expected this.

Radek tried to reconstruct what must have happened. The villagers must have been meeting for whatever worship rituals they'd normally engaged in when the Wraith had arrived. How convenient the Wraith must have thought it was, to find all the villagers contained in a single place! It must have been easy for the Wraith to get them all, for the villagers had most likely been unarmed and defenseless. The horrific alien predators would have fed well in this place. It was awful to think of it, but somehow Radek couldn't stop himself from conjuring ghastly images of how it must have been on that day.

A wave of dizziness washed over him, even though he was kneeling on the ground, and he had to swallow repeatedly to keep himself from getting sick. At the edge of his awareness he felt somebody move beside him. An arm – a blessedly warm, living human arm – went around his shoulders. He heard a voice that sounded as if it were coming from very far away ask him if he was all right.

_No!_ he wanted to cry out. _No, I am not all right! Why are you asking me this question?_ He couldn't quite understand how anyone could be all right immediately after witnessing something like this. Still, he made himself answer the concerned person who was leaning close to him.

"Y-yes, I think so," he managed to say, in a voice he barely recognized as his own. "I…I just need…"

He couldn't finish the sentence. He couldn't think of what he needed. Perhaps it didn't matter, because the arm around his shoulders tightened a little bit, its owner understanding that at least one of the things Radek needed was reassurance. The voice – Teyla's, he finally realized – was speaking to him again.

"Dr, Zelenka, can you get up?" Teyla was saying to him. "It is not much further to the Ancient structure. You and Dr. McKay can rest for a while when we reach it. We cannot stay in this place."

No, no…of course they couldn't stay here. He nodded in assent to Teyla's words, and slowly raised his eyelids. He averted his gaze from the grisly remains in the wooden building and concentrated instead on locating the rest of his teammates. Ronon stood a few metres away from him and Teyla. The Satedan was grim-faced. He surely knew better than anyone what the Wraith could do to the population of a world, for he was one of the very few surviving members of Satedan society. Ronon knew the terror of the Wraith from personal experience. If the images in Radek's head were fearsome, how much more terrible would Ronon's imaginings be? Radek didn't even want to guess.

Farther away, at the edge of the clearing, Rodney was pacing distractedly back and forth with his hands twisting frenetically and his mouth issuing a stream of babbling incomprehensibility. Colonel Sheppard was keeping pace with him. Radek heard the colonel repeating over and over that everything was going to be okay, if only Rodney would calm down. Some small part of Radek's mind was glad he was not making such a spectacle of himself. There was no point in creating a scene. The devastation in this place was terrible and frightening, but the logical part of Radek's brain informed him there was really nothing to be done about it now. Wasting energy on pacing and rambling would accomplish nothing. Still, Radek supposed Rodney needed to deal with things in his own way. Sitting on the grass was accomplishing nothing, either, after all, and that was exactly what Radek had been doing.

With a little help from Teyla, Radek regained his feet. Teyla kept a reassuring hand on his arm as she led him over to where Ronon stood.

"I bet they never even saw it coming," Ronon muttered angrily as he gazed at the ruined building. "Never knew what was happening until it was too late."

That was probably true, Radek thought. Ronon's sentiments went a long way in summarizing the character of the Wraith. They had to be truly inhuman to carry out such an act of inhumanity. Radek wanted to say something to the Satedan, but he knew there was nothing he could say. He stood silently beside Teyla and kept his eyes turned toward the ground in front of his feet.

After a few minutes, Rodney and Colonel Sheppard joined them. Rodney seemed marginally calmer. He still fidgeted his hands, but at least he wasn't talking uncontrollably and unintelligibly now. Sheppard had a hand on Rodney's arm in the same way Teyla had done for Radek.

Colonel Sheppard turned his back to the bones and let his gaze take in each and every member of his team. His face was inscrutable but his eyes gave away his feelings.

"There's nothing we can do here," Colonel Sheppard said quietly to his team. "We can't help the dead. We can only help the living."

The colonel's words galvanized Radek, for he understood the colonel was right. The dead were dead. There was nothing any of them could do to change it. There was, however, a living person in Atlantis who needed their help, and they were bound to do what they could for her. Radek hoped they would find the answers Shadow needed. He hoped she would still be alive to benefit from those answers when they returned home to Atlantis.

**TBC  
--------------------**

**A/N #2 – **Yes, this was another short chapter, but I hope it cleared up some of the confusion about what happened to the folks in Shadow's village. Next chapter will be a bit longer, I promise.

Meh…the repair guy never did show up, and Dad had to go into town for the spare part for the refrigerator himself. We fixed it this evening, so now Dad's back in business in the food department. Well, at least my day was productive when I had nothing else to do but sit around and wait for the repairman who never came. You guys got an extra chapter out of it! hehe…thank the repairman!


	22. Unravelling The Strands

**DISCLAIMER – **_Stargate: Atlantis_ is not my property. The concept and characters are the intellectual property of MGM/UA and associates. I have not received compensation in any form, from any source, for the creation of this story. I am doing this solely for fun and enjoyment, not profit.

The song "Daddy Sang Bass" was written by Carl Perkins and recorded by Johnny Cash in 1968. Obviously, it is not my intellectual property, either. I only wish it was.

**RATING – **Story rated **T**. Yes, definitely a **T-rated** piece.

**ARCHIVE – **You have my permission to archive this story if you'd like. All I ask is that you let me know where it is being archived. Thanks.

**SPOILERS – **Anything up to the end of Season 2 is fair game. There are references to "Before I Sleep" and "Aurora" in this chapter.

**A/N – **Once again, I really need to say a tremendously huge thank you to all who commented and replied on Chapter 21. I appreciate the feedback so much, and am very encouraged by it. I love having fans! You guys are great!

Chapter 22 is another short one, but I wanted to end it in a particular way, so that's why it's not as long as it might otherwise have been. Besides, shorter chapters equal more frequent updates, so it's a win-win situation, right? I hope you all like Chapter 22.

I still have no beta reader. Blame any mistakes on me. That is all.

* * *

**The Song Of Silent Rivers**

**22. Unravelling The Strands**

John tried to keep an eye on Radek and Rodney as the group walked away from the clearing filled with bones. He was a little worried about the two scientists, especially Rodney, who seemed not to have recovered his equilibrium as quickly as Radek. The Canadian walked along beside Ronon, pale and subdued and looking haunted.

Radek, who was easily keeping pace with Teyla, looked haunted too, but in a different way than Rodney. John surmised the troubled expression on Radek's face was one that belonged to a soldier who had seen far more destruction and violence than he could handle, someone who had hoped against hope that he could leave the memories of fear and oppression behind him, buried in some obscure corner of his mind. John understood that. He'd seen war and death enough to torment his dreams for a lifetime, and he often wished he could forget, too. _Afghanistan_. John would remember that place, perhaps not all the time, but the nightmares would creep up on him when he was sleeping and vulnerable.

John made himself think of something else. Now was not the time to dwell on history, at least not the history of Earth. Planet M4X-382 had a story of its own that needed attention, so John attempted to concentrate on that instead.

So, the Wraith had come to this world. John guessed they'd been here at least twice, because Shadow had told Radek the Wraith had come on the day of her birth; the day of her creation, John had to assume now. Shadow had said the Elders believed the coincidence of her arrival and the arrival of the Wraith had been an evil sign. For someone to have related this to Shadow, several of the people had to have survived the first Wraith attack. Evidently, the majority of them had not lived through the second one. The bones in the clearing spoke eloquently of that.

John began to wonder if, aside from Shadow, there had been any other survivors of the second attack at all. They hadn't found anyone else alive so far, nor had they seen any signs of life. The horrible notion occurred to John that perhaps Shadow had been the only one to escape the culling. If that was true, she had been utterly alone on this world since it had happened.

How long ago had that second Wraith attack occurred? The condition of the remains told John it hadn't been recently. The process of decay had long since taken away all traces of flesh and tissue from the forsaken bones. _Years_. It had to have been years since the Wraith had culled the people of this world. Shadow couldn't be any older than twenty, now, so she'd probably been just a child when her people had been killed. John's guts twisted themselves in knots at the idea of Shadow growing up by herself in this forest full of predators and hazards and spirits of the dead.

God, he didn't want to think about that, either. John had a sudden urge to put his hands to his ears and squeeze his eyes shut in a vain and childlike attempt to get away from the mental anguish he was creating for himself. He compulsively repeated the lyrics to a Johnny Cash song over and over in his head, trying to purge all the terrible stuff from his mind. _Daddy sang bass, Mama sang tenor…singin' seems to help a troubled soul…_

The song helped a little. John discovered he couldn't recall anything else when he concentrated on remembering all the words.

Only a few more minutes of walking brought the Ancient structure into view. John had never been so relieved to get to a place in his whole life. The Ancient building was made of stone that was a soft shade of grey. It seemed pure and clean and inviting to John, even though he had no inkling of what lay beyond its walls. He resisted the impulse to quicken his pace. He wondered if the machinery inside would recognize him and welcome him the way Atlantis did. He hoped so. He needed to find something responsive and familiar on this forbidding world.

The door of the Ancient building opened for John when he touched it. Nobody seemed surprised at that, and they all followed him in without comment. The place was dark inside, but when John placed his hand on the cool, smooth wall and thought about light, the room in which they were standing became illuminated. A little of the tension started to leave John's body in response to his restored sense of order and control. It was good to have things go the way they were supposed to. He thanked the Ancients and whatever cosmic powers had blessed him with the ATA gene.

Taking a deep, calming breath, John stepped further into the room and let his eyes take in the visual panorama. It was evident to him that the place had been a research facility. The room in which he and his team stood closely resembled some of the labs in Atlantis. There were devices of all descriptions. Doorways led away into other rooms that held, presumably, more interesting objects.

John was thankful to notice that his two scientist friends had perked up a little at the sight of all the Ancient technology just within their reach. That was a good sign. John allowed himself a little smile at the looks Rodney and Radek exchanged with each other. John guessed if it hadn't been for the awful discoveries they'd made earlier, those two would be acting just like kids in a candy store about now. He'd probably have been forced to remind them to behave. He could imagine himself warning Rodney not to touch anything that looked like it could hurt him and admonishing Radek not to take apart anything he was uncertain of being able to put back together again. John was tempted to say those things now, but he thought better of it. In the scientists' current state of mind, they might not take it very well.

He made eye contact with each of his team members in turn. "Well, here we are," he said, with considerably more false cheer than they needed or deserved to hear. "Let's see what we can find. I guess I don't need to remind you all to be careful, but I'm going to do it anyway. Everybody keep your eyes and ears open."

-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-

Rodney would have been excited if his brain hadn't already been on emotional overload.

He would never admit it to anyone in a million years, but even his amazing mind had Its limitations. There was only so much he could see and hear and feel in the run of a day and still be able to cope with it all, and everything he'd observed on this godforsaken planet so far had been nearly too much. Some part of him wanted to go through the Ancient laboratory and explore, but the greater part of him just wanted to get the hell out of there and go back to Atlantis. He was almost afraid to look beyond the main room. He didn't want to know what he might find.

He resigned himself to it, though. He was one of the two members of their group with the ATA gene. He could turn the lights on and get things to function. That meant he would have to lead someone else around the structure. Sheppard would doubtless take the remaining team members with him.

Vowing not to be utterly defeated by the situation, Rodney decided that if he had to guide a non-carrier of the ATA gene around, he might as well have somebody who understood what the hell he was talking about. He was getting tired of the taciturn Ronon, impatient with the big man's apparent lack of interest in anything Rodney found fascinating. Rodney crooked a finger in Radek's direction.

"Come on, Zelenka," he said. He tried to inject some bravado into his voice. "Maybe we'll find that ZPM. It'll be free and clear if we do. I'm guessing nobody around here is going to need it any more."

Radek gave him a dubious look, and Rodney tried to guess whether his Czech friend doubted their chances of finding a zero point module or whether Radek just didn't want to go exploring with him. Finally, Radek said quietly, "Okay."

"I will come with you as well," said Teyla.

The Athosian woman had been sticking to Radek like industrial grade adhesive ever since they'd found those bones in the clearing. Normally, Rodney would have wondered what was up with that, but now he barely gave it a passing thought. He was incredibly sorry he'd recalled the bones again. That was something he'd been trying actively to forget.

He glanced at Teyla. "All right, then. If you insist on following us, I can hardly stop you, can I?"

John cut in at that point. "_I_ insist on her going with you, McKay."

Masking his impatience and his tattered nerves was proving harder than Rodney had anticipated, especially with John putting in his two cents. It wasn't that Rodney resented John's authority. It was only that he sometimes grew frustrated with the way John assumed he was incapable of making common-sense decisions. He huffed audibly and concluded attempting to fake civility was too great a waste of energy.

"Oh, lucky me," Rodney said. "I get to have the Warrior Princess as my own personal bodyguard. You have no idea how safe I feel now."

Teyla's tone was mild. "I do not recall anyone saying I was _your_ bodyguard, Dr. McKay," she said.

"Don't tell me. You're Zelenka's bodyguard, then."

"If he wishes me to be," Teyla said, still infuriatingly calm. "As you have stated many times, Dr. McKay, _you _are quite capable of looking after yourself and do not need 'baby sitting'. I should point out I am merely accompanying you to observe, but I will stay with Dr. Zelenka if you wish me to keep out of your way."

"You're coming along to observe, huh? Observe what?" Rodney said. "Do you think you can contribute anything useful?"

"Rodney, please," Radek said. "This is not the time or place for your usual behaviour. Teyla knows what we are looking for."

"How can she know what we're looking for?" Rodney snapped. "_We_ don't even know what we're looking for, Radek. Well, of course there's the ZPM, but we don't even know if there's actually one here. If there's no ZPM then we don't really know what else we're looking for, do we?"

"Rodney."

"What?"

"You are making no sense," Radek said. "Please, it will help if you stop talking until you have something to say."

"You—" Rodney began, incensed at having been interrupted and told to be quiet. "You _miserable_ little man. I'll—"

"McKay!" John interjected. "What did I tell you earlier about picking on people?"

"They started it!" Rodney said.

"Just go," said John.

Teyla put her hand on Radek's forearm. "Come on," she said. "Dr. McKay can join us when he is ready."

For a moment, Rodney stood glaring at them, but then he realized they were moving in the direction of one of the doors, and they really did intend to start exploring without him. He hurried to catch up, calling out, "Hey! Wait for me!"

-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-

Rodney's presence made the lights come on.

Radek never ceased to be awestruck by the power the Ancient gene gave to the people fortunate enough to have it. He thought of Colonel Sheppard being able to fly the 'jumpers, Carson being able to operate the Chair, and Shadow using her little pendant to cloak herself. It was nothing short of amazing, and Radek envied all those people a little for their abilities.

He thought he could understand why someone would be interested in genetically engineering a child with the ATA gene. If it were possible to create a male and a female child who possessed the gene, there was a high possibility they would grow up and produce children of their own who were also gifted with it. Theoretically, it might be possible to generate a small population of ATA-gene enhanced humans. The implications of that were enormously frightening and fascinating all at once.

Radek supposed the real question was one of motivation. If the person doing the creating wanted to make humans capable of operating Ancient devices and weapons to help defend them against the Wraith or any other predatory enemies, one might consider his purpose noble. Of course, for the action to be pure, the creator would have to possess no ulterior motives. That, in Radek's experience, was an exceptional condition indeed. People rarely did things out of untainted altruism. There had to be something to gain in return for their effort in most cases.

Radek couldn't even begin to guess what Shadow's creator had hoped to gain. Perhaps he'd only wanted a gifted daughter, but Radek sensed it had been far more than that. He had the idea Shadow represented something more to her so-called father than his ideal child. Shadow had been used, whether she herself realized it or not. Radek wished he knew the how and why of it all. He wanted to get to the bottom of the mystery, because he wanted to make sure it didn't happen to any more innocents like Shadow.

He thought he was beginning to comprehend the ethical dilemma faced by scientists on his own world when it came to questions of human cloning and genetic engineering. There was too much blurring of the space between philanthropy and malevolence, too many shades of possibility between helping and hurting. The potential for disaster was just too high.

Radek observed his surroundings as he and Rodney and Teyla entered the new room. Clearly there had been experiments taking place here. One side of the room was dominated by a big lab table not unlike his workspace in Atlantis. Radek had found his own work table just the right size for spreading out large blueprints and diagrams. The owner of this table had been using it for something else entirely. Radek noticed a lot of vials and test tubes, and a machine that resembled a microscope. There were other machines, too, which he could not immediately identify but which he knew were not of Ancient design.

What caught his eye more than the machines were the books. Some of them were thick texts, bound in the craftsmanship of a technologically superior world. Others were notebooks, lab journals that appeared uncannily similar to the ones Radek and Rodney and their colleagues often used. Radek wanted to look at them, to see what might be written inside. He crossed the room and approached the wide lab table with as much caution as he'd approach a fellow scientist's work in Atlantis. He was about to lift one of the notebooks from the tabletop when he heard Teyla's voice call out from behind him.

"Dr. Zelenka, I think you should see this," Teyla said. "So should you, Dr, McKay."

Radek turned around to find out what Teyla wanted him to look at. She was standing at the opposite end of the room from him. It took him only a few seconds to hurry over to her.

She was standing by a row of capsules that each measured about two metres in length. Their tops were transparent and there were controls on the ends of them. Radek remembered Rodney telling him about having found pods similar to these on the Ancient ship Aurora. Another one had been discovered in Atlantis with an alternate version of Elizabeth inside, Radek knew.

Radek counted six capsules here. He held his breath as he stepped up close and peered through the transparent panels.

The three nearest him held the forms of children. He guessed they were no older than three or four years. The first two were little girls with golden-brown hair and brown eyes, so identical in their appearance that they surely must have been twins. The third child was a small boy. All three children looked like porcelain dolls, white and perfect and still.

Radek knew they were dead. He felt light-headed with the knowledge, but he didn't experience the same dizziness and impending nausea that he'd had in the clearing full of bones. He realized he was already too numb to react that way at the sight of three more bodies. Maybe he was in shock, he decided. He couldn't stop staring at the beautiful, unmoving faces of the children, and he didn't have the overwhelming reflex to look away this time.

The little boy reminded him of his nephew Zdeněk at that age, with his curly dark hair and wide, dark brown eyes. Thinking of Mirek and Milena's son caused an unexpected hollow feeling in his chest. He looked away from the boy and let his gaze stray back to the twin girls. They might have been little sisters to Shadow. They looked just like her, right down to the dusting of freckles across their cheeks and narrow noses. The hollowness increased to a dull ache. Radek didn't like the sensation, but he was grateful he was still able to feel something.

At last, he managed to get his attention away from the three little bodies. The fourth capsule was empty. Radek looked past it and focussed on the people in the two remaining capsules. A man and a woman, both of whom appeared to be extremely old, rested in their glass coffins side-by-side. The woman's chocolate-brown eyes were open and glassy. _Dead_. The old man's eyes were closed. He didn't look as pale as the others.

For a moment, Radek believed the man's colouration might be nothing more than a trick of the light. He walked to the end of the row of capsules and rested his hand lightly atop the one that contained the old man.

Radek was peripherally aware of Teyla watching him and of Rodney approaching him from the side. Rodney looked as weakened and emotionally anaesthetized as Radek felt. He stopped next to Radek and gazed down at the old man in the capsule. The Canadian's face scrunched in concentration.

"There's something different…" Rodney began.

"Rodney?" Radek inquired quietly when his friend didn't finish the sentence. "Are you okay? What are you thinking?"

"Move your hand," Rodney said.

Radek obediently lifted his hand from the capsule, and Rodney leaned forward to stare through the transparent surface at the old man's face. Radek watched his friend, and tried to determine what might be going through Rodney's head.

"What is it?" Radek asked at length, when all Rodney did was continue to stare at the man. "Tell me what's wrong, Rodney."

"He's…" Rodney said. Radek could see the flesh of his friend's throat ripple as Rodney swallowed convulsively. When he spoke again, it was in a hoarse near-whisper. "Oh, God… I…I think he's alive, Radek. I think this guy is _alive_."

**TBC  
----------------**

**A/N #2 –** Well, what can I say? I love to create that feeling of suspense! I bet you guys can make a few good guesses as to who the old fellow in the capsule might be, though. Well, I promise I won't keep you waiting too long to find out… Please leave me some feedback, cos you know I love it. -hugs you all- I love having an audience!


	23. Awareness

**DISCLAIMER – **_Stargate: Atlantis_ is the intellectual property of MGM/UA and associates. I am not making any money or receiving any compensation of any kind for creating this story. It's just for fun, so please don't sue me.

**RATING – **Story rated** T**

**ARCHIVE – **Anyone can archive this story. You have my permission to do so. Please, just let me know where it is going, and I'll be happy.

**SPOILERS – **Anything up to the end of Season 2 is fair game. This chapter has specific references to (but not major spoilers for):  
"Runner"  
"Before I Sleep"  
"Aurora"  
"Sateda" (season 3)

**A/N – **Thank you to everyone who replied to the last chapter. I love reading all your comments. Special thanks to those of you who leave me those thought-provoking, next-chapter-shaping comments! Some things you suggest help me to see the story through eyes other than my own, so I don't leave out important details. I know I've already said this, but all of you are fabulous! I hope you enjoy Chapter 23. It turned out a bit weird, in my opinion, but…Oo…you get to meet a new character!

Yay! **Thirteen** people now have this story on their alert list, according to my stats. That gives me the warm fuzzies! teehee. -hugs the fans-

Oh…and some free advice that is totally un-story-related: never put caramels in the fridge, especially if you intend to eat them the day after having oral surgery. That is all.

I have no beta. Can you tell?

* * *

**The Song Of Silent Rivers**

**23. Awareness**

John stared down at the people in the stasis capsules and fought his own emotional reaction at the sight of the tiny, lifeless children. The kids were perfect, the twin little girls and the dark-haired boy, flawlessly preserved. Beads of cold sweat broke all over John's skin when that thought came to him. He wondered how the children had died. Maybe they'd already been dead before they'd been put in stasis, as terribly morbid as that seemed. He tore his attention away from them and concentrated on the old man instead. Rodney had said the man wasn't dead, and judging by the old guy's colour and the fact that his eyes were closed, John decided he had to agree.

"Can you get him out?" John asked Rodney.

"Getting him out would be the easy part, if you don't care whether we get him out alive or not," Rodney said.

_Leave it to McKay to make a statement like that_. Under normal circumstances, he might have said something about Rodney's deficiency in the tact department, but these were not normal circumstances. John could tell that his friend was affected by stress, and he didn't want to aggravate him.

"Of course we want him alive," John said. He did his best to keep most of the impatience out of his voice. "Can you do it, or not?"

"Under the right conditions and with the proper amount of time, maybe," Rodney said. "Since I assume you're in as much of a rush as ever, then the answer is no. I probably can't get him out alive. At least, I'm almost certain I can't."

"These pods are like the ones we found on the Aurora, aren't they?" John said. "You figured those out. What's different about these?"

"Well, for one thing, these capsules aren't interconnected like the ones on the Aurora, which is probably a good thing, since only one of the occupants is actually alive."

"You're saying these are more like the pod we found in Atlantis?"

Rodney sighed. "I'm going to say that's the case, but I won't actually _know_ that until I examine it more carefully, which I won't be able to do unless you stop asking me questions."

"So, once you figure it out, then will you be able to get this poor guy out alive?"

"I doubt it."

"Okay," John said. He glanced at the other scientist in the group. "Radek, what do you think? Could it be done?"

"Hey!" Rodney exclaimed. "I already said it can't be done. Why are you asking him?"

"Because he's a mechanical engineer. Machines are his thing," John said. "The stasis pod is a machine, so…"

"Your grasp of logical reasoning truly astounds me, Sheppard," Rodney said.

"I know. I'm brilliant," said John. "So, Radek, how about it?"

"I think it is possible," Radek said. "Rodney is right, though. We will need some time to work on it. Even if we can open it, the man might die anyway. He looks very old. Reviving him might be too much shock for him."

"See what you can do," John told them. "I think I'll have another look around while you two are tinkering. You never know what else we might find around here."

"At this point, I'm not sure I want to know," said Rodney.

"Keep in radio contact and let me know how everything's going, all right?" John said. "I'm not going to leave the building, so I won't be far away."

"I'm coming with you, Sheppard," said Ronon. "You coming, Teyla?"

Teyla smiled at Ronon as if she would've liked nothing better than to go walking through a ten thousand year old science lab with him, but then she turned her eyes toward John. She said, "Colonel, would it not be better if I stayed here with Dr. Zelenka and Dr. McKay?"

"Maybe somebody should stay with them," John said. "Just in case."

"In case of what?" Rodney said.

"Maybe there are evil spirits," Ronon suggested, deadpan.

Rodney visibly shuddered. "Don't joke about that! It's bad enough that I'm here on this god-awful planet full of dead people, but now I'm stuck working side-by-side with Eastern Europe's answer to the Ghostbusters, on top of everything else. Do you have any idea what this is doing to my nerves? And my blood pressure? God…my hands are shaking. _Look_ at them!" He thrust his hands toward John in an almost pleading gesture.

"We can all stay here with you, if it'll make you feel better," John said.

"It won't! It won't make me feel better at all," Rodney told him. "I'll feel better when we get off this planet, and—"

"If someone stays, it will make _me_ feel better," Radek said. "I will have someone rational to talk with."

"Hey!" Rodney said. 'I'm rational!"

"You say that, yes, but no one believes you right now. Let's get to work. We will go faster if you concentrate on the work and not on yourself."

"You _miserable—_" Rodney began.

Radek fixed his colleague with a hard stare. "Rodney, don't say it. Just…do not provoke me. Please."

"Guys—" John said.

Rodney and Radek stopped glaring at each other and simultaneously turned toward John. "What?" they said together.

"Uh…do you want one of us to stay with you, or not? Last chance to say something."

"Look, we don't need baby sitting, Sheppard. If you want us to get this done, then just leave us alone and stop pestering us," Rodney said. "Besides, Radek hates it when people look over his shoulder."

"And Rodney doesn't like people talking to him when he is trying to concentrate," Radek added.

"And neither of us want to hear a constant stream of stupid questions," Rodney finished.

_Those two are just like brothers_, John thought. They'd fight like cats and dogs with each other all day long, but when an outside force intervened with something that concerned them both, they'd put up a united front, no matter what. John couldn't resist grinning at them.

He told himself they'd be all right together, without someone to keep an eye on them. They'd stop bickering once they got busy with the stasis pod. If anything happened, they both had radios and could call for help if they needed to. Rodney knew how to handle his sidearm, more or less, and John had to assume the army had taught Radek a thing or two about weapons. With any luck, though, it wouldn't be necessary for either scientist to use those particular skills.

John convinced himself everything would be okay for the time being, and headed for the door, beckoning for Teyla and Ronon to join him.

-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-

Radek listened to the receding footsteps of his teammates as they exited the room. As much as he didn't like the idea of being away from the people who knew best how to protect the group, part of him was relieved they were leaving for a bit. Radek was finding it increasingly difficult to maintain any sort of composure; he realized it was taking an alarming amount of bodily energy to do so. That concerned him, but he tried not to think about it. Now, he had to concentrate on helping Rodney figure out how to open the stasis pod and free the man inside. _One thing at a time_, he reminded himself. He pushed his shaggy hair away from his eyes, and settled down to work.

Radek liked working with Rodney when it was just the two of them, with no outside interference. Most people seemed to make Rodney jittery, or they upset him by talking and asking too many questions. Radek knew better. When they worked together, he rarely spoke to Rodney unless it was really necessary to do so. During the time Radek and Rodney had known each other, they had learned to anticipate each other. When they had their hands on some complicated piece of machinery, they didn't need to talk much. Concentration was more important than conversation, as Rodney was fond of telling the other Atlantis scientists.

Radek's problem at the moment was that he was finding it hard to concentrate. He caught himself having to stop and think about things that should have been second nature to him by now. It was frustrating. He wasn't normally like this, even when he was tired.

His inability to focus was worrisome, but he told himself it was probably the heat that was distracting him, the humidity, or the infuriating itch all over his skin from numerous insect bites. _Nothing serious_. He repeated it silently in his head like a mantra. _Nothing serious_. He'd suffered through worse things than being hot and uncomfortable during his military training, and he'd come through that experience relatively intact. Well, physically intact, at any rate, but now wasn't the time to dwell on _that,_ either.

To take his mind off the heat and the itch, he thought about Prague in winter. He envisioned his cold, beautiful home surrounded by snow. The play of the shadows against the snowdrifts would look like folds in a soft, white blanket, and he imagined himself lying on his back in a deep drift, staring at the brilliantly blue ceiling of the sky.

He was almost unaware of the fact that he'd let his eyelids slip closed until he had to make a conscious effort to raise them again at the sound of Rodney speaking to him.

"Hey," Rodney said. His voice was unusually quiet.

"Hmm…?"

"You okay, Radek?"

The question caught Radek off-guard. He hadn't expected his friend to say anything while they were busy with the machine. He looked up to find Rodney studying him candidly. Feeling slightly perplexed, he said, "I…I think so, yes. Are you?"

"Yeah," Rodney said.

Radek didn't believe Rodney was really okay, but then, he supposed Rodney had fully justified doubts about him, as well. He shook his head and exhaled a long breath. "We are two terrible liars, Rodney. We can't even lie to each other about the same thing."

"Yeah," Rodney said again. "Look…um…I wanted to say something. I mean, you know I haven't been trying to irritate you on purpose, right? It's just, you know, I react badly to stress and this has been one hell of a stressful mission so far."

"I know," Radek said, and somehow managed to find a smile for his friend.

"All those dead people," Rodney said. "I'm going to have nightmares."

"I can sympathize."

"Can you?"

"Did you think I couldn't?"

"No. I don't know," Rodney said. "I mean, you don't seem like the nightmare type. All that talk about ghosts and everything, and you just seemed so…I don't know…composed."

"You do not know everything about me."

'I guess not, but isn't any of this _bothering_ you?"

"It is, yes. It's bothering me a lot. I feel sick and scared and tired, just like you, and I would rather be somewhere other than here," Radek said, and added quietly. "I would rather go home to Atlantis, but we have reason for being here. You know that."

"God, I'm sorry. I know," Rodney said. All of a sudden he looked contrite and embarrassed. "This must be a million times worse for you than it is for me. I just want to get this mission over with so I can go home and sleep and eat and take a bath, but you've got someone—" Rodney's voice faltered to a stop and he looked away. "I'm really sorry, Radek. I didn't mean to—"

"Is okay, Rodney."

No matter how often Rodney might inadvertently hurt or offend someone or say something utterly tactless at exactly the wrong moment, Radek knew his friend rarely meant it. That was just Rodney's way. He was abrasive. He had an aggressive personality and often spoke before thinking. No amount of wishing would change him, and pointing out his faults only antagonized him, so Radek chose to leave the man alone and simply put up with his tirades. Beneath the bluster, Rodney was good and determined and loyal to a fault. Others should only be so fortunate as to have a friend like Rodney McKay who would come through for them when it really counted. Tolerating his idiosyncrasies was a fair price for his dependability as a friend.

"Let's just pretend we're not having this conversation, okay?" Rodney was saying. "I'll shut up, and…yeah…shutting up right now."

"Perhaps that is best," Radek said. The second the words left his mouth, he realized how they might be misconstrued. He took a steadying breath and met his friend's gaze again. "Rodney?"

"Yeah."

"Thank you."

"For what? For shutting up?"

"More than that. Just…everything."

"Right. Don't mention it," said Rodney, and promptly turned his attention back to the stasis pod, scowling his usual scowl, as if nothing out of the ordinary had happened.

-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-

The Ancient laboratory was bigger than it looked from the outside. While exploring with Teyla and Ronon, John discovered it was a multi-level structure, with several chambers underground. It would certainly take longer than a few hours to check out every room thoroughly. John mentally began to compose his mission report, and knew instinctively that at some point, another team would be coming back here for the sole purpose of going through this lab, one room at a time. John didn't envy whoever got sent to do that job. The humidity alone was enough to drive him to distraction.

Well, at least there were no bugs inside the Ancient structure. John was already covered with bites and he wasn't anxious to collect any more. He had visions of himself coating his entire body in a generous layer of anti-itch cream when he got back to Atlantis. _Yeah, that would be soothing,_ he thought. He wondered if he could convince one of the nurses in the Infirmary to put it on him. Maybe that tall Croatian woman with the big, dark eyes. Her name was Zora…something. _Nice idea, very nice. _ He didn't care if Rodney thought he was a 'Kirk'. The pretty nurses were always nice to Captain Kirk, weren't they?

That wayward notion kept him occupied for several satisfying minutes during which he forgot about his insect bites. He led his teammates into yet another room, which lit up obligingly at his approach. He'd expected the room to be just another basement lab, and he wasn't wrong about that. This lab was nearly identical to the one where they'd left Radek and Rodney working on the stasis capsule. This one had pods, too. Six of them lined at the far end of the room.

"This looks familiar," Ronon said.

"Yeah, too familiar," John agreed.

"Do you suppose there are people inside the pods?" Teyla asked.

John wasn't sure he really wanted to know the answer to that question, but he guessed he'd have to find out. He said, "Only one way to know, isn't there? Let's have a look."

He led the way toward the six chambers. When he got there, he was more than a little relieved to see they were all empty. His relief was echoed by Teyla, who let out a long breath of air.

"I wonder what the Ancients were doing in this place?" Ronon said.

"Perhaps this was a place where they conducted research about placing people in stasis," Teyla suggested. "We have seen two rooms like this one, so far. There may be others."

"Maybe," John said. "If we had a chance to translate some of the writing around here, we'd have a better idea. Another team will probably—" He was interrupted by the crackling of his radio.

"Sheppard, this is McKay," declared Rodney's disembodied voice.

"Go ahead, Rodney," John said.

"I think we might've figured out how to open this pod."

"You think?"

"We can open it. Are you coming back here, or not?" Rodney said impatiently.

"Yes, we're coming," John said. "We're on our way."

-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-

"He looks dead," was Ronon's succinct observation.

Rodney and Radek were both kneeling on the floor, one of them on either side of the open stasis capsule. John crouched beside Rodney and studied the face of the old man who lay in the pod. The old guy was definitely unconscious, though John wouldn't have gone so far as to say he looked dead. He reached out and pressed his fingertips to the man's throat to check for a pulse.

The pulse was there; weak, but present. John said, "He's not dead."

"Yet," said Rodney.

"Still as optimistic as ever, I see," said John. "Nice work getting this thing open, by the way. I knew you guys could do it."

"I did most of the work," Rodney said.

John was a little surprised to see Radek nod in silent acknowledgment of Rodney's statement, but he decided there was no point in commenting on it. How the two geniuses divided their workload was their business. John's job had little to do with supervising the brains. He only had to keep them safe and get them home in one piece.

"Whoever did it, you did good," John said. "Now, all we have to do is see if our friend here is going to wake up."

"I think he is already waking up," said Radek's quiet voice from the other side of the pod. "Look."

Sure enough, when John looked, he saw the old man's translucent eyelids were beginning to twitch. Several moments passed in complete silence while everyone watched the occupant of the capsule. The old man sucked in a wheezy, rattling breath, and then he opened his eyes fully.

His irises were green, John noticed. The eyes looked much too young to belong in a face as withered and ancient as the one that confronted them from the pod.

John offered the man what he hoped was a disarming smile. The man's eyes shifted frantically, but no other part of him moved. He looked terrified.

John rested his hand on the old man's arm. "Hey," he said. "It's okay. We don't want to hurt you. Can you talk?"

The old man groaned inarticulately, and then inhaled another shaky breath. His mouth formed a word, but he didn't produce any recognizable sounds to go with it. After a few more shuddering breaths, he tried again.

"Jana…?" the old man said.

John exchanged looks with his teammates. "Who's Jana?"

"Daughter. My…daughter," the old man mumbled. "Who're you?"

"I'm John," John said. "These guys are Rodney and Radek, and those two over there are Teyla and Ronon."

"What…world?"

"We three are from Earth. Ronon is Satedan and Teyla is Athosian."

"I know…Sateda," said the man. "Wraith…killed…"

"Yes," John said. He didn't want to get into a discussion of that particular subject, especially not with one of Sateda's few survivors standing a few metres away. He said to the man, "Can you tell us your name?"

"Morin," the old man said. "Doctor…Kadan Morin."

"Do you remember what happened?"

"Wraith," said Morin. "Almost…killed. Jana…put me…in here."

That certainly explained a lot. The guy had been attacked by the Wraith and his daughter had placed him in a stasis pod. John wondered if the daughter had been trying to keep Morin alive. John shifted his gaze sideways, looking at the old woman in the pod next to Morin's. Maybe the daughter had put herself in a stasis pod, too, only hers hadn't preserved what little remained of her life as Morin's had done. Then, there were the children. John didn't even want to think about who'd put the three little kids in stasis, or why. That was a morbidly terrifying speculation.

"Dr. Morin," John said. "Do you know if there were any other survivors besides you and Jana?"

"Don't know," Morin mumbled. "Must find…Jana. Hiding?"

John swallowed, attempting to get rid of the dryness in his throat. "We don't know—" he began.

"We might know where she is," Radek interjected.

Beside John, Rodney gave a disdainful snort. "We _don't_ know, Radek. I mean, she could be in that clearing with all those—"

"Rodney!" John said.

"Well, she could be, you know," Rodney said.

Radek raised a hand in a 'please-shut-up-right-now' gesture that caused Rodney to glower and made John want to laugh despite the situation. John had seen Rodney hushing other people with that very same pre-emptive wave of his hand, and John was mildly gratified to see Rodney's response when his own commands were turned toward him.

Radek looked directly at the old man in the capsule. "Dr. Morin, does Jana like to hide?"

"Her…favourite game. Become…like…a shadow."

"Like a shadow," Radek repeated quietly, and then asked, "Can she hide by making herself invisible?"

"Ancestors…device."

"This one?" Radek said.

John watched the engineer with curiosity as Radek slipped his fingers beneath the collar of his shirt and removed something that had been suspended on a string around his neck. John recognized the object as the pendant he'd seen Shadow wearing. It must be the Ancient personal cloaking device, he guessed. John hadn't known Radek had the device. Carson must've given it to him for safekeeping while Shadow was in the Infirmary.

John felt an unanticipated wave of compassion for the engineer. Evidently, Radek had decided the safest place for Shadow's treasure was to wear it around his own neck so that he'd always have it with him. There was a profound message in that, John thought. It bespoke something deeper than ordinary kindness, and for the first time John realized he was truly beginning to understand something about Radek Zelenka's personality. The understanding only made John admire the man more.

John watched as Radek held the silvery object within Morin's line of sight.

Morin seemed to recognize it immediately, and he became agitated when he saw it. Morin fairly gasped out his words, "Yes. It is…Jana's. What…did you do…to her?"

"Nothing," Radek said. "We did nothing to her. She followed us home. I have this device because I am keeping it safe for her."

"Where…is Jana?"

"She's all right," John said. "She's safe."

He immediately regretted saying those words when he saw the look Radek gave him. Radek was far too polite to call John on the blatant mistruth, but it wasn't hard to see the little Czech was none too impressed about it.

"Dr. Morin," Radek said evenly. "Jana is in Atlantis."

"Atlantis." Morin closed his eyes. "No, no…underwater. Everyone thought…Atlantis…underwater."

"It was underwater, yes, but not now."

Morin's hand moved feebly, pointing to – or perhaps reaching for – the silvery Ancient device that still hung on its string around Radek's neck. Morin said, You must…take me. Please."

**TBC  
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	24. Methodical Madness

**DISCLAIMER – **_Stargate: Atlantis_ is the intellectual property of MGM/UA and associates. I do not receive compensation from any source in any form for writing this story. It is a work of fan fiction, created solely for fun and personal entertainment. No copyright infringement is intended.

Shadow, Morin, Hanna and the scene-stealing Dr. Perlman are my original characters. If you want to use them, ask me nicely, and I'll probably agree to your request.

**RATING – **Story rated** T**

**ARCHIVE – **Anyone who wants to archive this story has my permission to do so. Let me know where you're archiving it, though. Thanks!

**A/N – **Thank you to all who replied to the last chapter. The reviews are excellent and I love them! I thrive on them, even. I definitely appreciate them, and each person who takes the time to leave me one.

I hope you'll enjoy this Chapter 24. It got a little crazy in the middle because the aforementioned scene-stealing Dr. Perlman demanded to have the spotlight more than once. Naturally, I let him run wild, as I have no will power when it comes to these situations. Thanks to Dr. P, you get a little humour in the midst of the doom-n-gloom tone of this story. I am working on Chapter 25 now, so it should be up tomorrow. Enjoy!

Oo...and just so you know, I'm a lawyer not a doctor. All medical stuff in this chapter is based solely on research and not any practical knowledge of my own.

I still have no beta, so if you find any mistakes, they're all mine.

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**The Song Of Silent Rivers**

**24. Methodical Madness**

Radek was sitting on the floor.

This was a strange piece of information for his mind to settle on, he mused; an irrefutable yet utterly mundane fact. He, Dr. Radek Zelenka, Ph.D., was sitting on the floor, saying nothing and doing nothing, while his four teammates stood mere metres away and conducted an impromptu meeting. Nobody had asked for Radek's opinion. Nobody had even suggested that he should get up, so he continued to sit, perspiring and uncomfortable and perplexed, next to the stasis pod where Dr. Kadan Morin had the good sense to have become unconscious.

Radek closed his eyes, wishing he could sleep as well, just for a few minutes. He hadn't slept much during the last couple of days, although he vaguely recalled Itzhak Perlman and others telling him he should. Good advice, he decided. It had been good advice, and he ought to have followed it. Radek tried to concentrate on what his friends were talking about, instead of thinking about his own little problems. Someone might ask him a question, and it wouldn't do if they turned around and found him asleep.

"He doesn't look too good," Ronon was saying.

Radek wondered if the Satedan was referring to him or to Morin. Surely Ronon must be talking about the man in the pod. After all, Morin was the comatose one. He had to look far worse than Radek, and besides, Radek guessed his friends had the grace not to discuss him while he was sitting right here within earshot.

"I do not think it would be advisable to move him," Teyla said. "He is very weak."

"We can't just leave him here," said John.

"Why not?" demanded Rodney. "We can't bring him back to Atlantis. The risk—"

'He doesn't look like much of a threat to me," Ronon said.

"Oh really?" said Rodney's insistent voice. "That just proves how much you know. All you warrior types ever think about are physical threats. Well, there are a lot more dangerous things out there than somebody attacking you with sticks. I mean, he could have some kind of horrible, communicable disease that could cause us all to die a slow painful death. Would you want to be the one responsible for bringing that back to Atlantis? Huh? Would you?"

"Rodney," John cut in. "If you were in his place, would you want to be left here? He needs help. If we leave him, he's probably going to die."

"If we bring him with us, _we_ might die!" Rodney said. "You know how I feel about the prospect of slow, painful death, Sheppard."

"McKay, is all this death talk necessary?" Ronon asked. "Look, the way I see it, If we leave him here, we miss the chance to learn anything from him. That's what we're trying to do, right? Learn about this place? He'd know."

_Morin_. They were discussing Morin, after all. Radek felt foolish. He should have realized they'd been talking about the scientist in the pod all along. He gave his head a little shake. What was the matter with him? First he hadn't been able to pay attention when he and Rodney were working on the pod, and now he could barely follow a conversation without an effort. He willed his eyelids open. It wouldn't do to drift off, now. More than being embarrassing, it might actually prove dangerous.

He told himself he had to keep his brain occupied, so he mentally replayed their first contact with Morin. There was no longer much doubt in Radek's mind that Kadan Morin had been the person who'd created Shadow. _Jana_, he reminded himself. _Her name is Jana_. It seemed odd to think of her being called something other than Shadow, for that was how he'd come to know her. _Shadow_. His Shadow, who'd rescued him from the river, who'd said she wanted to stay with him and who had followed him all over Atlantis until she'd become too ill to do so. The memory of her lying in the Infirmary made him ache with tangible empathy. He thought he understood how a father must feel, worrying about a sick child.

_A father. _ The force of the thought overwhelmed him for a moment. How could he even consider such a thing? Morin was the one who had created Shadow. Morin was her father, in whatever form that definition represented. Morin was concerned about her whereabouts and her safety, and he was the only one who had the right to claim her parentage, biological or otherwise.

Radek knew he should be pleased they'd found Morin alive. He supposed some part of him really was happy about that, but that feeling was overshadowed by something else. He couldn't help experiencing a sense of emptiness, of obsolescence when he arrived at the understanding that caring for Shadow was no longer his responsibility, if ever it had been his at all. He asked himself why this should matter so much. He'd never even _wanted_ such a responsibility before. Why should it make any difference to him, who took on the duty of being Shadow's caretaker now?

It mattered, his rational brain concluded simply, because somewhere along the way, he had changed his mind about what he wanted. He'd seen the way to the end of his loneliness, and had taken comfort in both needing and being needed by someone else. Without even being fully aware of it, he'd been preparing himself to accept guardianship of Shadow. Now, that might not be necessary.

The knowledge hurt.

Stoically, he told himself not to dwell on it. He was used to dealing with hurt and disappointment and loss and all those other mental pains. He'd been doing it all his life, compressing all his hurts into a tight little ball and locking them away in the deepest recesses of his consciousness. He had to think of something else, something that didn't hurt. It was the way he survived everything from losing his first love, to being conscripted into the army, to coping with the death of his father. He'd endure this as well, because he had to. There was work that needed to be done, people and things that needed attention. Duties could not be ignored.

It took a lot more of his energy to stand up than he'd anticipated, but nevertheless, Radek got to his feet and made his way to where his four colleagues were still conversing. Ronon gave him a mystified look. Rodney gaped openly. Radek ignored them both.

"Hey," Colonel Sheppard said. "Glad you decided to join us, Doc. You all right?"

"Yes," Radek said, knowing full well no one would believe it. "I'm fine."

"Good," Sheppard said. "So, what do you think we should do about Morin?"

"We need to take him with us," Radek said.

"What? Just like that?" said Rodney. "Are you out of your mind? Haven't you been listening to a word we've been saying over here? You probably haven't been, have you?"

"Yes, I have," Radek said evenly. "I'm aware of risks and I know Morin is very weak, but I think we must take him."

"Why?" Rodney demanded.

"Ronon was right. We might learn a lot from him. Just as important as that, he is Shadow's father."

"So what?" said Rodney. "That has nothing whatsoever to do with protecting us from any insidious diseases he might be carrying, or…or any evil plot he might have cooking in his wrinkled head. The guy knows something about Atlantis. He's—"

"He is Shadow's father," Radek repeated quietly. "How would you explain it to her, if we leave him behind?"

-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-

"What do you think?" Itzhak Perlman asked.

Carson stood next to his friend at the window that gave them a view of Shadow's isolated room. Itzhak had exited the room only moments earlier, and was pulling the mask from his face as he spoke. Itzhak never kept perfectly still while doing anything, Carson noticed. The man seemed to be brimming with energy all the time, and Carson couldn't help envying him a little for it. If Itzhak was tired, it certainly didn't show.

"What do I think about Shadow?" Carson said.

"Of life, the universe and everything," said Itzhak. "Of course, I'm asking what you think about Shadow."

"At this point, to be perfectly honest, I don't know what to think."

Itzhak snapped off a latex glove. The sound was loud and abrupt, incongruous with the stillness of that part of the Infirmary. Carson flinched, even though he'd seen Itzhak start to pull the glove off and had known the noise would be forthcoming. Itzhak offered him an apologetic look and peeled his other glove off slowly.

"Her fever's gone down half a degree in the last hour," Itzhak said.

"I wouldn't be too optimistic about that. Half a degree isn't much, and it might spike again."

"It's down a whole degree from three hours ago," Itzhak reminded him. "And she's still awake. She's been awake for several hours, now."

"Aye, but she's still unresponsive, for all that."

Itzhak absent-mindedly played with the surgical gloves he still held. "She keeps staring at the window. Maybe I'm reading too much into this, but it's almost as if she's watching for someone. It's like she's afraid she'll miss something if she looks away."

"I've got that feeling, too. I think she's waiting for Radek to come back."

"I'm worried about him."

"Radek, you mean? Why are you worried about him?"

"You didn't see what kind of shape he was in when he finally left here last night.," Itzhak said. "I did, and if it'd been my decision to make, I wouldn't have cleared him for full duty. Let's face it, I probably wouldn't have cleared him for much of anything, if I thought I could make the order stick."

"He was fine when I released him," Carson said. "Well, on the mend, anyway."

"That being the operative phrase," said Itzhak. "On the mend. All I'm saying is that I wouldn't have cleared him to go offworld."

"He's not usually assigned offworld. When I released him from the Infirmary the other day, it was supposed to have been back to his normal activities. Sending him offworld is Dr. Weir's responsibility, and Colonel Sheppard's. Not mine. Besides," Carson added, "I'd have liked to meet the person who could've talked him out of going offworld this time."

"Isn't that Dr. Weir's job, too?" Itzhak said.

"Oh, aye, it certainly is." Carson's opinion on Elizabeth's execution of her responsibilities was right on the tip of his tongue. He might have held back if he'd been with anyone other than Itzhak Perlman, but he trusted Itzhak not to repeat anything, so he decided to relieve some of his own tension by venting a little. He said, "Forgive me if you think I'm a talebearer, but I expect Dr. Weir wasn't exercising her usual degree of logical reasoning when she made _this_ particular judgement call."

"Hmm…" Itzhak hummed thoughtfully and fiddled with his gloves some more. "I don't want to get into that kind of conversation, if you don't mind. I don't know Dr. Weir well enough to understand what her usual reasoning process is like. All I was trying to say before is that somebody objective should have intervened. _I_ should have intervened."

"It wasn't up to you."

"I guess not," Itzhak said, "But, I could have told you, and maybe you could've done something."

"It's not like you to second-guess," Carson said. "What's done is done."

"I suppose so. Anyway, the team should be back soon. With any luck, every one of them will be perfectly fine and all this worrying will be moot." Itzhak gave the gloves in his hand a brisk snap. "Well, I'd better get rid of these and find a new pair. I have things to do, and I don't want to keep Dr. Biro waiting."

"Right," Carson said. He was saved from trying to think of something more to say when his radio headset clicked in his ear.

"Dr. Beckett, this is Dr. Weir," said Elizabeth's disembodied voice.

Carson touched his earpiece. "Yes, Elizabeth, go ahead," he said. "What can I do for you?" Carson noticed Itzhak giving him an eyebrows-up look of curiosity.

"Colonel Sheppard's team is on the way back," Elizabeth said. "Carson, they found another survivor."

"Another…?" Carson began to say, but stopped himself mid-thought. There'd be plenty of time to get the details later. He said, "I'll be down there in a minute."

"I'll see you in a minute, then," said Elizabeth. She signed off, and Carson heard another click in his ear.

"Well?" Itzhak said when Carson didn't speak for several moments.

"I have to go," Carson said.

"Right," said Itzhak. "We'll hold the fort around here until you get back. I'll be the general."

"I've heard those general's stars can weigh rather heavily on a man's shoulders."

"I can handle it," Itzhak said. He gave Carson a flippant salute. "Go."

Carson didn't allow himself to smile until he'd turned toward the door and away from Itzhak's line of sight. _Good people_, Carson thought. _How thankful I am to be surrounded by such good people._

-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-

As he always did, John felt an overwhelming sense of gratitude and relief when he and his team emerged from the Stargate's event horizon into the gate room in Atlantis. They'd taken much longer in getting back to the 'Gate from the Ancient structure than John would have liked, but considering he and Teyla, and then Ronon and Rodney had been carrying Morin on the makeshift stretcher they'd constructed, he supposed they'd made okay time.

Morin had been unconscious the whole way back to the 'Gate. John was concerned about the old man, and couldn't stop himself from wondering if Morin would ever wake up again. He didn't like the thought that Morin might die in Atlantis, though the way things were going, it was a likely possibility.

Along with his concern for Morin, John was worried about Radek, too. The poor little guy hadn't looked all that great since they'd found all those bones in that clearing, and he'd seemed just about ready to fall over by the time they'd gotten back to the 'Gate. In retrospect, John was glad he hadn't asked Radek to help carry Morin, because the scientist probably wouldn't have been able to do it.

John was grateful to see Elizabeth waiting for them when they arrived. He was even happier to see Carson Beckett and a pair of medical technicians ready to receive them. Carson would know what to do for Morin. Since Radek was still upright and mobile, John decided he'd escort the little scientist to the Infirmary personally. One of Carson's capable minions would know how to take care of him.

While Carson and his staff busied themselves with getting Morin onto a more conventional gurney and whisking him out of the gate room, Elizabeth came over to talk with John and the rest of his team. She looked only a little anxious, which John took as a good sign. She wanted to debrief them, but she said it could wait. They all needed to get cleaned up, and get themselves checked out by the Infirmary staff. Some of them needed to eat. Elizabeth had glanced pointedly and Rodney when she mentioned that and John had been hard-pressed not to laugh.

For once, John wasn't about to argue with the directive to go to the Infirmary. Altruistic motives aside, he was a little desperate to get something to stop the itch from the dozens of insect bites all over his arms and neck. He'd gotten a few bites on his last visit to M4X-382, so at least he knew they weren't going to kill him unless, of course, he happened to scratch himself to death.

-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-

"You guys look like the fourth day of a three-day weekend," Itzhak Perlman said cheerfully as John's team shuffled its way into the Infirmary. "It must've been one heck of a mission."

This wasn't the sort of greeting John had expected to receive upon arriving for his post-mission check-up. He'd grown accustomed to Carson's fussing and fretting, so he found it a little weird to be met by somebody who was actually smiling and joking with the team. He couldn't say he objected to it, though. There was no denying Itzhak Perlman was a people-person, and it was kind of refreshing to hear the relaxed cadence of the Israeli doctor's voice. Itzhak was easy on the nerves, John decided. He sized up the blond-haired woman standing next to Itzhak. Her name was Hanna…something, and she was a doctor, too. _Dr. Hanna is easy on the eyes_, said the voice in John's head which, at the moment, could not be brought under any sort of control.

"One heck of a mission, huh?" John offered up a lopsided smile for Itzhak. "Doc, you have no idea."

"You don't have to tell me. I think I can guess," Itzhak said. "My best recommendation for all of you is a shower. Definitely a shower, but post-mission physicals come first. I know you guys don't like us doing that to you, but it's protocol."

"I'll let you do pretty much anything if it means I can get something to stop this damn itching," John said. He held out his arms for Itzhak's inspection. "Alien mosquitoes. They've got sharp teeth."

Itzhak studied the team for a moment as if he might be trying to decide who needed the most attention. After a second or two, he let his gaze rest on John again. He clapped his hands together in an all-business sort of gesture. "Okay, Colonel, come with me and we'll see what we can do about the alien mosquito bites. Radek, you come along with me, too. The rest of you can go with Dr. Eriksson." Itzhak nodded in the direction the blonde lady doctor, and smiled. "Topical analgesic for everybody, Hanna. I bet the colonel's not the only itchy one."

Hanna Eriksson gave her colleague a look of mock-indignation, "And who appointed you king of the Infirmary, Itzhak Perlman?" she demanded.

"Nobody," said Itzhak. "I just got tired of playing second fiddle around here. Thought I'd try being the boss for a change. You know, to see how I like it."

That statement earned him a groan from Hanna, "Second fiddle? The violin jokes never get old for you, do they?"

"Nope," said Itzhak. "Go on, now. Don't keep your patients waiting. I know Dr. McKay must be anxious for his shots."

"Oh yes, I can hardly wait," said Rodney. "Can't you see that I'm just giddy with excitement?"

John didn't know if sending Rodney with Hanna was a strategic decision on Itzhak's part, or if Rodney's reputation preceded him and the Israeli doctor just didn't want to put up with the physicist's whining. Nobody really looked forward to being vaccinated, but John guessed Rodney would complain a lot less about getting a needle in the butt if the person holding the needle was a leggy, blue-eyed blonde.

John grinned at Itzhak. "Maybe you would be a good Chief Medical Officer, Dr. P," he said.

"I haven't given you _your_ shots, yet," Itzhak told him. "Don't praise me until you survive that ordeal, okay? And what's this 'Dr. P' stuff? The last I checked, Dr. P was a urologist."

"Itzhak, you are the living end," Hanna said. "You—"

"No, don't tell me." Itzhak held up a hand. "That last one was way over the top, right? Most crippled joke you ever heard."

That elicited an abrupt snort of laughter from Radek. "Lame," he said. "It was, Itzhak. Really."

"Made you laugh, though, didn't it? Someday I'll figure out how to make Hanna laugh, too. Melt the ice and all that," Itzhak said, and directed a grin with decidedly unprofessional connotations in Hanna's direction.

Hanna's only response to Itzhak was a nondescript grumble. She put a hand on Rodney's shoulder and nodded for Teyla and Ronon to follow them. John watched them, and was amused to see the smug look on Rodney's face as they departed.

"Better luck next time, Dr. P," John said.

"Oh, she likes me," Itzhak said airily. "She just hasn't figured it out, yet. Now, why don't you guys come along with me, and we'll try to get these exams over as quickly and painlessly as possible."

John wasn't about to argue with a quick and painless examination. The sooner the exam was done, the sooner he could take a shower, debrief, and then crash for a few hours.

-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-

Radek was beginning to feel a certain kinship with laboratory animals.

_Quick and painless exam, indeed, _he grumbled to himself as he sat on his appointed Infirmary bed. He really wasn't sure how long the average post-mission physical exam should take, but he was certain Colonel Sheppard's check-up hadn't taken nearly as long as his own seemed to be taking. He'd heard Itzhak chatting with the colonel behind the curtain of the adjacent bed for what had seemed like only a few minutes. Itzhak had sent Colonel Sheppard off with a tube of something he'd referred to as benzocaine, and a cheerful, "You're fine, Colonel. I'm sure the itch will improve in no time."

Radek should only have been so fortunate himself, but Itzhak seemed intent on prodding him and poking him with needles and incessantly asking him questions. There was no hint of the easy chatter Itzhak had shared with the colonel. The Israeli doctor was all business, now. Radek didn't like it a bit. He was feeling irritable and impatient, and he just wanted Itzhak to give _him_ some anti-itch cream and let him leave.

"Why is this taking so long?" he finally demanded, when Itzhak had deemed it necessary to shine a penlight into his eyes. "Why are you doing that? It hurts."

"Photosensitivity," said Itzhak, rather unhelpfully. 'Your pupils are dilated."

"Very intelligent of you to figure this out," Radek grumbled. "I _told_ you it hurt. Can I go?"

"No, you can't. I'm not done, yet."

"Perhaps_ I_ am done."

"Not so fast, champ," Itzhak said. The doctor put out a hand to restrain Radek from sliding off the bed. "Stay right there. You're not going anywhere until I say you can, and if I have my way, you won't be leaving here until tomorrow morning."

"But—"

"You're not going to talk your way out of here, so you shouldn't waste energy trying. You haven't got that much energy to spare," Itzhak said firmly. "You're hypotonic, your pulse is rapid and your blood pressure is way lower than it should be."

"Is this serious?"

"Depends on how you define serious. It's not imminently life-threatening, if that's what you're asking."

"Good, then I can go."

"No, you can't. You're presenting moderate symptoms of shock. To be honest, I'm not surprised, considering everything you've gone through in the past week. Your body and brain are telling you they need a break," Itzhak said. "Now, you're going to lie down for a nap, and if you feel a little better when you wake up, you'll eat. Then, I'm going to examine you again. After that, maybe I'll let you leave."

"Itzhak, you can't keep—"

Itzhak held up a hand. "I can do whatever I want, Dr. Zelenka, and just so we're clear, you can refer to me as Dr. Perlman while you're under my supervision. Now, listen to me. I'm telling you that you need to take care of yourself."

"I will, but not now," Radek said. "There are things I have to do."

"Nothing that can't wait."

"But, I can't—"

"I don't want to hear it," Itzhak said. "Rest. You need it. I promise I'll wake you if anything happens that you should know about."

-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-

Carson told himself he should have known better by now that he could never guess all the manifestations of the word 'survivor'. There were as many kinds of trauma as there were people in the universe. Each case, each patient was unique. The man named Kadan Morin was exceptional in that he'd survived not only being attacked by a Wraith but also being enclosed in a stasis pod for God knew how long. Carson considered it a miracle the man was alive at all.

Morin had been unconscious when he'd arrived, so Carson had been able to begin examining him without much resistance. During the course of Carson's examination, however, the man fought his way back to awareness. He was clearly terrified and confused. He looked around frantically, and struggled weakly beneath Carson's gentle, restraining hands.

"What…happened?" Morin gasped. "Who're you?"

"It's all right," Carson said. "Lie still. Nobody's going to hurt you. My name's Carson Beckett, and I'm a doctor."

"Doctor?"

"Yes, that's right. Do you know where you are?"

"No."

"Can you tell me your name?"

"Dr. Kadan Morin," Morin said. "I'm…a scientist. Where are…others?"

"What others?" Carson wanted to know. "Were there other survivors on the planet?"

"No, no…" Morin rocked his head back and forth on the pillow. "They said Atlantis…not a myth. Not underwater. Jana…is in Atlantis. Please…I must find Jana."

Carson pressed his lips together in a frown, and tried to decide whether or not he should tell Morin they were actually in Atlantis right now. He recalled Shadow's reaction when she'd first discovered she was in the Lost City, and quickly decided against saying anything to the old man. He was far too weak to undergo any more emotional shock than he must already be suffering from. Carson wanted to ask about this person named Jana that Morin needed to find, but he decided that could wait, too.

"Dr. Morin, are you in any pain?" Carson asked instead.

"Jana's necklace," Morin mumbled. He seemed not to have heard or understood Carson's question.

"Necklace?"

"One of the men…had it."

"One of the men who found you?"

"Yes. Around his neck. It is…a special device. The Ancestors…"

Sudden comprehension collided with Carson's brain at the mental equivalent of a hundred kilometres per hour. The person Morin referred to as Jana was Shadow. One of the Atlantis men had, in fact, gone off with an Ancient device on a cord 'round his neck. Carson had given Shadow's little silvery pendant to Radek for safekeeping and had watched bemusedly as the engineer had put the string around his own neck and tucked it beneath his clothes. Carson never could have guessed anyone would use the device as a token of identity, but now he was glad someone had. If Morin was this concerned about Shadow – _Jana_, Carson corrected himself – then there was a more than likely possibility he had a close relationship to her. There was a good chance Morin had even been responsible for the genetic engineering that had produced her.

"Dr. Morin," Carson said. "Can you tell me about Jana?"

"She is my daughter," Morin whispered. "Please…"

"Your daughter?"

"I created her. Does this…not make her mine?"

"Aye, I suppose it does," Carson murmured.

"Where is she?" Morin said again. "She…is only a child. She will be afraid. I must see her…please…"

"Dr. Morin, how old is Jana?"

"A child…" Morin repeated. His voice was weakening and his eyelids were slowly sliding closed. "Eleven seasons. Only…a child…"

That wasn't the answer Carson had anticipated. He watched Morin sink into unconsciousness again, and tried to make sense of the things the old man had said. Carson had been certain Shadow and Morin's mysterious Jana were one and the same, but upon hearing that Jana was a lass of eleven, he wasn't so sure any more. It was true Morin seemed to have identified her by the Ancient cloaking device, but it was entirely possible there'd been more than one of those in the laboratory the team had found. Equally plausible was the idea that Morin had created more than one child.

Then again, Shadow and Jana really might be the same person, and Morin thought she was eleven years old because that'd been her age the last time he'd seen her. Morin might have been in stasis for the last eight or nine years. That thought made Carson feel cold. If the old scientist didn't know how long he'd been in suspended animation, then he wouldn't have any idea that his little girl had grown up.

**TBC  
-------------------- **


	25. Fathers

**DISCLAIMER – **_Stargate: Atlantis _is the intellectual property of MGM/UA and associates. No copyright infringement is intended. I am writing this story solely for the purpose of personal enjoyment, and I am not receiving any compensation in any form for the creation of this story.

Shadow, Morin, Zora and Dr. Perlman are my original characters. If you want to use them, ask my permission first. I'm pretty good at sharing, so chances are, I will agree to your request.

**RATING – **This story is rated** T**

**ARCHIVE – **If you want to archive this story, you have my permission to do so. All I ask is that you tell me where it is being archived. Thanks.

**A/N – **Thank you once again for all the enormously helpful public comments and PMs I received for Chapter 24. You people encourage me so much! I could say thank you a dozen times and it wouldn't be enough.

Well, here is Chapter 25 for you. It's a rather long one; the longest one in this story so far, actually. I've somehow managed to put two flashback scenes in it. I hope this chapter makes sense to you all. It sets up some things for the next chapter, in which you'll find out quite a lot more about what's really going on. Anyway, I hope you'll all enjoy this one.

Blocks of text written in present tense and _italicized_ are flashback scenes.

Yep. No beta. If you find a mistake or two, I'm responsible for them.

* * *

**The Song Of Silent Rivers**

**25. Fathers**

There was a sort of cosmic cruelty overseeing his life recently, Radek reflected. The Infirmary was beginning to seem all-too-familiar to him, and he was starting to resent it. He hated that he'd ended up in the Infirmary again, after having only just left it a few days ago. Even though he felt tired and weak and miserable, he didn't want to be here. All he wanted was to be left alone. Of course that was a futile wish. Itzhak Perlman had seen to that. Radek concluded he didn't much care for Itzhak's serious side. Much too bossy, definitely. 

After taking a quick shower and changing into the loose cotton scrubs one of the nurses had given him, Radek was expertly turned over to yet another nurse who showed him where he'd be spending the night. Much to his chagrin, he discovered he'd be sleeping in the same bed he'd occupied during his previous stay. If that wasn't proof of a malevolent influence, he couldn't imagine what would be.

The nurse who'd brought him to his bed was called Zora Kovac. She was Croatian, dark and attractive in an Amazonian sort of way. She outmatched Radek in height by several inches, which had intimidated him at first. He was ready to add the presence of Zora Kovac to his list of cosmic injustices, too, until he heard her speak.

Zora had a smooth contralto voice that made the promise of a liberal application of anti-itch cream sound like the path to Nirvana, and somehow managed to make the prospect of forced inactivity seem like a vacation. She could probably convince him going to bed before midnight wasn't a waste of time and vaccinations weren't the least bit painful, if he chose to let her. He wasn't sure at the moment if Zora's persuasiveness was a blessing or a potential danger, but there'd be time to think about it later, as he was going to be lying around here for a while. For now, he'd consider Zora and her benzocaine lotion the silver lining in this horrible black cloud of a day.

Zora let him rub the cream all over the insect bites on his arms, and then she helped him into bed and told him to lie on his stomach so she could apply it to the back of his neck.

"How does it feel?" she asked when she'd finished.

"Nice," Radek said. "Thank you."

Zora gave his neck a final pat, which Radek thought was probably unnecessary, though he wasn't about to complain about it.

"You're welcome," Zora said. "You'll need to put some more of this on in the morning."

"Will you be here to help me in the morning?"

Zora laughed. "Is that a request, Dr. Zelenka?"

"No, is not a request. I was only asking," he said. "And…you can call me Radek, if you want to."

"Radek," she repeated. "You'd better call me Zora, then, and since you asked nicely, I'll make a point to come back and see you in the morning."

"Thank you."

"Is there anything you need right now?"

Radek thought about that question for a minute. In all the activity surrounding the team's return through the Stargate, he realized he hadn't gotten a chance to ask anyone about Shadow. He wanted to see her, but he guessed that was one request neither Zora nor any of the doctors were about to honour. Radek supposed he'd have to settle for information until he was allowed to get up and see everything for himself.

"I want to speak with Dr. Beckett," he told Zora at last.

Clearly, Zora hadn't expected that. "Are you looking for a second opinion?" she said. "I know Dr. Perlman isn't so nice when he's being serious, but he's a very good doctor. He wouldn't keep you here if he didn't think it was absolutely necessary."

"I know, Zora. Why I want to see Dr. Beckett isn't about me."

"Oh," said Zora. "Yes, I think I know. This is about your Shadow, isn't it?"

Radek didn't miss the subtlety of Zora's use of the possessive before Shadow's name. It made him remember the inner dialogue he'd had on the planet. He shut his eyes and was thankful he was still lying with his face in his pillow, so Zora couldn't see whatever pained expression he might be wearing.

"She is not mine," he said, "but it is about her, yes."

"I'll try to find out what's going on," Zora said. "Promise me you'll get some rest, and I promise I'll tell you everything when you wake up."

"Okay."

Zora rested her hand on his shoulder. She leaned in close and said in a low, conspiratorial tone, "Later, when you wake up, we might even manage to take a quick look at your friend through the window. Of course, we won't mention it to Dr. Beckett or Dr. Perlman."

-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-

_Radislav Zelenka is singing. _

_Radek finds familiarity in hearing his father sing, but he does not find comfort in it. Father doesn't sing for joy or sorrow or consolation. He just sings to keep time while he works, treating the music like one of his tools. Radek can hear him even before he opens the door to the workshop. He's repeating the chorus of some Russian folk tune._

_Radek steps out of the damp spring air and into the warmth of his father's workshop. Father is at his workbench. There's a small wooden box in front of him, and he's oiling it, moving his hand rhythmically over the surface of it with sure strokes. Father does everything this way, with economy and confidence._

_The box on the workbench is the same size as the one Radek keeps his chess set in, but this one is different. Radek sees the top of this box has been chiselled with an intricate pattern of birds in flight. The wood gleams golden where the oil touches it. _

_Radek watches for several moments, amazed as he always is that his father's big, rough hands can produce such delicate things. It seems an incongruity, Father's gift for making this kind of art. There is nothing else about his life that even gives away a hint of his being an artist. Radislav Zelenka is a practical man; a tough, pragmatic man. He expects as much of others as he expects of himself, and very few people ever seem to meet his standards. Radek tries not to think of how often he himself has fallen short of Father's requirements._

_Father turns the little box over and begins to rub the bottom of it with the soft, oiled cloth. If Father has noticed Radek standing in the doorway, he hasn't made any indication of it. Radek takes another step toward the workbench. _

"_Father," Radek says._

_Father stops singing, but doesn't look up from his work. "Radek,' he says._

"_Mother says you want to talk to me."_

"_Your mother wants me to talk to you," says Father. "She has informed me that you're going to England. For four months." _

"_Yes." _

"_Were you planning to tell _me_ about it?"_

"_Of course I was going to tell you, Father. I only told Mother about it a few days ago."_

"_You told Jaromir," Father says. His tone sounds accusatory. _

"_Dušana telephoned him. She was the one who told him," says Radek. "I'm going to be staying with Dušana when I get to London."_

"_Your cousin doesn't need you tagging after her everywhere she goes. You did enough of that when she lived here."_

"_Dušana wants me to come. She invited me."_

_Father makes an undignified grunt of disbelief. "What will you do when you get there, Radek? You can barely speak English. No respectable engineering firm will hire you, and God alone knows, outside of the army you've never done a day's physical labour in your life. Tell me, what will you do?" _

"_I don't know yet, but I'll find something to do. Dušana will help me find a place where I can improve my English. That _is_ the reason I'm going. I want to speak English well before I go—"_

"_To America," Father says abruptly. "Before you go halfway around the world to god-forsaken _America_!" _

"_It's not just America. It's Boston and MIT. Anyway, what's wrong with America?" _

_Father throws the oily cloth onto his workbench with more vehemence than Radek has seen him display in a long time. "My only son wants to go to some strange country halfway around the world and he _dares_ to ask me what's wrong?" Father says angrily._

"_Yes, I am asking you what's wrong with my going to America."_

_Father looks up at him and fixes him with a penetrating stare. "Radek, you have big dreams," he says. "You want to go to England, to America. You want to build airplanes and rocket ships. What you seem to forget is that there are important things right here, and that you have obligations other than to yourself." _

"_What obligations do I have here?"_

"_I shouldn't have to tell you," Father says. He exhales loudly. "Go travelling, Radek. Go and do whatever you want. Fly to the stars if it suits you." _

"_Maybe some day I will," Radek says._

_He'd spoken quietly, but evidently it was loud enough for Father to have heard. Father demands, "Some day you will do what?"_

"_Fly to the stars," says Radek. "I'm going to England with or without your approval. America, too." _

"_Very well. Go, but if you come crashing down to Earth on your way to the stars, don't expect a soft landing here." _

"_Don't worry," Radek says. "This is the last place on Earth I would want to land." _

_Radek leaves the workshop quickly, slamming the door hard on his way out. He is shaking all over by the time he reaches the house. He's angry and hurt, frustrated by his father's stubbornness. He's also ashamed at himself for having lost his temper. Very few people have the ability to provoke him like Father does, but he tells himself that's a poor excuse for such a blatant lack of respect. He'd never shout at Uncle Jaromir or Mother that way. Then again, he reasons, Mother and Uncle Jaromir understand him. To Radek, it seems Father doesn't even want to understand. _

_Mother is still in the kitchen when Radek enters the house. When she sees his face, she hurries across the room to him, and puts her arms around him. For a moment, Radek lets her hold him. She rubs his back until his trembling subsides, and for the moment he feels safe again. He's desperate to retain that little bit of security, but it dissipates like mist when his mother lets him go. _

"_What happened?" Mother asks. _

"_We argued. He wants me to stay here," Radek says. "He told me I've got obligations, though he didn't elaborate." _

"_He's worried."_

"_About what?"_

"_Your father has…things on his mind. I think he'd feel better if you stayed." _

"_What things?"_

"_He didn't tell you?"_

"_Mother, he never tells me anything. He never talks to me unless it's to criticize me or tell me what to do," Radek says. "_He_ would feel better if I stayed? You know, it's always like this. He always turns things around so they're all about _him. _Sometimes I think he doesn't give a damn about me." _

"_Radek," Mother says. She takes his hands in hers and squeezes them gently. "Radek, listen to me. Your father cares about you. Really, he does. It's only…well, you never seem to do what he expects."_

"_He expects me to be like him," Radek says bitterly. "I can't do that, Mother. I'm not like him, and I never will be."_

"_You don't understand him."_

"_He doesn't understand me, either. If he did, he wouldn't be angry with me for wanting to learn and explore, for wanting a different kind of life."_

"_You have a good life here."_

"_Mother—"_

"_Your father needs you." _

"_No," Radek says. He pulls his hands out of Mother's grasp and steps back. "Father doesn't need me."_

"_Radek, please—" _

"_I don't want to discuss this. I'm going home."_

"_I wish you would stay for supper, at least."_

"_I can't. I can't stay here another minute," he says. _

"_All right."_

_Radek comes back to her, kisses her on the forehead. "I'm sorry, Mother," he whispers. "I love you. I'm not doing any of this to hurt you. I hope you understand." _

_Mother says nothing. She begins to weep. Radek turns away from her and leaves the house as quickly as he can so his mother won't see there are tears in his eyes, too. _

-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-

Radek awakened in the middle of the night. Odd, he mused, how the brain recognized such a thing even when the eyes couldn't look outside to confirm it. The lights in the Infirmary had been dimmed appropriately as they always were at night. Radek lay still for a moment, listening, trying to determine what had wakened him. There had been something, some unusual noise lurking at the edge of his awareness that had coaxed him out of a deep sleep. In his dream it had sounded like his father singing his favourite Russian folk song.

Radek inhaled sharply when he realized that was what he was hearing now; an old man's voice, cracked and rusty, singing quietly in the darkness. He knew it wasn't Father, of course, but…_someone_. The words of the song were in a language Radek didn't know, but the melody seemed uncannily familiar, like something he'd heard in childhood and had since forgotten.

Carefully, Radek got out of bed. He expected to be met by a nurse or a technician the moment he ventured away from his own little corner of the Infirmary, but oddly, no one appeared. He felt a transient disappointment at not seeing the tall figure of Zora Kovac anywhere nearby. He wouldn't have minded so much if she'd been the one to catch him leaving his bed, for they might have been co-conspirators of a sort, and he'd decided that he liked her.

Radek followed the direction of the singing and discovered it was coming from behind the curtain of a nearby bed. When he pulled back the white drape a few centimetres and looked into the little space, he saw the old man they'd found in the stasis pod on M4X-382. Kadan Morin was lying on his back, green eyes wide open and gazing at the ceiling.

"Dr. Morin?" Radek said.

Morin stopped singing. He turned his head and peered at Radek in the dim light.

"You," said Morin.

"Are you all right?"

"Come here."

Radek slipped past the curtain and came to stand next to Morin's bed. "I'm here. Do you want something?"

"You are the one who knows about Jana," Morin said. It was not a question.

"I…I suppose I do, yes."

"You have her necklace."

"Yes."

"How did you get it?"

Radek wasn't sure he should answer that question. He didn't want to say Carson had entrusted Shadow's pendant to him, because then he would have to explain why. He would have to tell Morin how ill Shadow was and why no one but the doctors were permitted to be with her.

"That song you were singing," Radek said. "What is it?"

"I've known it for a long time, though I don't remember learning it. It is…_was_…Jana's favourite."

"Does Jana like it when you sing to her?"

"She can no longer hear me singing. She is deaf. The Elders…" The sentence faded on Morin's lips and he closed his eyes momentarily. "The Elders."

"I know," Radek said. "She's deaf because the Elders in the village wouldn't let you treat her."

"How do you know this?"

"She told me."

"She conversed with a stranger?"

"She saved my life," Radek said. "We are not strangers."

"Tell me," said Morin.

Someone had placed a chair near Morin's bed, and Radek sat in it, now. He thought about what he should say to Morin. _Begin at the beginning_ was the phrase Dušana always used when she was asking Radek to explain something, and it seemed logical enough in this instance, too. The beginning of his story about Shadow had been the original mission to M4X-382, so he started with that. He told Morin how he'd ended up going on the mission even though he hadn't wanted to. He described his first impressions of M4X-382. He'd thought the planet was beautiful in the beginning, though he didn't think so any more.

Once he began speaking, Radek discovered he had a lot to say. He described the events of the past week, giving Morin as much detail as he could remember. He shared with the old scientist how he, Carson and Elizabeth – the River Man, the Healer and the Leader – had figured out how to communicate with Shadow and what they had learned from her. He told Morin about Shadow's penchant for stealing food – most especially power bars – which caused Morin to laugh until he started coughing.

"That…is just…like her," Morin managed, when he'd finally caught his breath. "She steals from the best fruit trees in the village. Infuriates the Elders."

"Don't you scold her?"

"It isn't any use. She is incorrigible."

Radek smiled, remembering Shadow's self-satisfied look when she'd brought him one of the peanut butter flavoured power bars she'd appropriated from Rodney. She really was incorrigible, he decided, but she seemed so guileless it was practically impossible to be annoyed or angry with her for long.

"She's very enchanting, isn't she?"

"Yes," Morin said. "That's a good word for her. Enchanting. Do you have more to tell me?"

"Of course," Radek said.

He settled himself more comfortably in the chair and took up his narrative where he'd left off. He hadn't meant to mention Shadow's illness, but in the course of telling Morin what had happened, he found he couldn't leave out that all-important detail. It was, after all, the reason they'd gone to M4X-382 the second time.

Radek tried to gauge Morin's reaction while he talked. The old man was listening intently, and nothing showed on his face except extreme concentration. To Radek, it seemed as if Morin didn't want to miss a single syllable of a single word. Hearing about his daughter seemed to have a strengthening effect on Morin, notwithstanding the fact that at the moment he was hearing bad news.

"You must take me to her," Morin said, once Radek had finally finished speaking.

"I wish I could," Radek said. "Just now, even I can't see her. You will have to ask Dr. Beckett in the morning."

"Beckett," Morin rolled the name over slowly. "He seems evasive."

"He is a cautious man."

"And you are not."

"No, no…I am very cautious man. Ask anyone about that."

Morin's mouth twitched in what might have been a smile. "A cautious man," he said, "would not consider taking responsibility for a girl like Jana. A cautious man would not have the fortitude for it."

"How do you know—" Radek began.

"You speak of her as if she is _your_ daughter. That is how I know," Morin said quietly. "Do you have your own children?"

"No."

"A pity. You'd do well with them. I know you will do well with Jana, too."

"What do you mean?"

"Someone must care for her after…after I am no longer here."

"You think I will be the one to do that?"

Morin closed his eyes. His only answer to Radek's question was a soft sigh. The old scientist lay very still and quiet for several minutes. After a while, he opened his eyes again, and turned toward Radek.

"Thank you," he said, "for telling me about Jana."

"You're welcome," said Radek.

"I'm tired now," Morin said. "Come and see me tomorrow, River Man. Tomorrow, it will be my turn to tell you about Jana."

-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-

_Radek's father is dying. _

_This was the thing Father had failed to mention on the day they'd argued about Radek's trip to England. Father had known then that he was ill, and had said nothing. He'd let Radek go away unaware. Mother had told Radek that Father had things on his mind, but Radek could never have guessed it was anything like this. Father has cancer, a particularly insidious form of the disease that's killing him by degrees. _

_Radek has spent the past three and a half months happily, living in London with his cousin Dušana. His cousin helped him find a job in a hotel, and much to his pleasure, he'd grown to like it. He'd often chatted with his co-workers and with the hotel guests, which helped him considerably in improving his language skills. His English is coming along nicely now, and he's no longer worried about understanding and being understood when he goes to the Massachusetts Institute of Technology in the fall. _

_Leaving England had been harder than Radek anticipated, and the fact that he had to return to the Czech Republic two weeks earlier than he'd planned hasn't made things any easier. Mother had phoned Dušana, in tears, asking for Radek to come home as soon as possible. That was when Radek had learned his father is dying._

_He hadn't known what to think upon hearing that piece of news from home. All at once, he'd been angry with his parents for not telling him as soon as they knew, and he'd felt guilty and ashamed because the last conversation he'd had with Father had been an argument. The conflicting emotions had warred in his head all the way home to Prague. The battle is still going on now. _

_Radek doesn't like the thought of visiting his father in the hospital, but it isn't because he is afraid to see the progression of sickness and death. It is the silent confrontation Radek fears; the expression of disapproval he always seems to see in his father's eyes. He has an irrational fear that his father won't even want to see him. They'd both been so angry the last time they'd met face to face, and neither man had said he was sorry. _

_Radek regrets the things he's said to Father. He wishes he could turn back time to that day in Father's workshop, and begin their conversation again. He wouldn't lose his temper. He would have tried to be more patient, tried to explain how important going to England had been to him and how important going to America still is. Perhaps Father wouldn't have shouted at him, wouldn't have told him not to come home if he failed at what he intended to do. Perhaps…_

_The hospital smells of antiseptic. It's white and sterile and utilitarian. Every corridor looks the same, and Radek thinks it would be easy to get lost if he weren't paying attention. A small, rebellious voice in his head tells him that maybe he should let himself get lost. Visiting hours might be over before he finds Father's room. Gathering his resolve, Radek ignores the wayward thought and locates the doorway to the proper corridor. _

_When Radek enters his father's room, he almost doesn't recognize the man in the bed. The last time Radek had seen his father, the older man had seemed healthy and strong. The person lying in the tall hospital bed no longer looks like Radislav Zelenka. The pale blue eyes that had once been sharp and keen are dull, and where shaggy golden hair had once been, only soft yellowish stubble remains. Radek thinks he can see every bone in his father's hands as they clutch fistfuls of the white sheet. Radislav Zelenka is emaciated, a shadow of himself. He is a ghost dressed in flesh. _

"_Father?" Radek says. _

_Father doesn't look at him. "Radek." _

_Radek feels an overwhelming sense of déjà vu as he approaches his father. He sits in the chair next to the bed. "Mother told me I'd find you here," he says. _

"_She called you home from England," says Father. His voice is weak, and Radek can hardly believe it's the same voice that had shouted and blustered at him less than four months ago._

"_Yes, she did," Radek says._

"_How is your cousin Dušana?"_

"_Dušana is fine. How are you?" _

_Father turns his eyes toward Radek and just for a moment Radek thinks he sees a spark of vehemence in them. _

"_What sort of question is that?" Father says. _

"_Father, why didn't you tell me you were sick before I left for England?"_

"_There wouldn't have been much point in telling you then. There was nothing you could have done. Nothing you can do now." _

'_I might've stayed if you'd told me."_

"_No," Father says. "You wouldn't have stayed for me."_

"_I came back for you." _

"_You came back because your mother asked you to." _

"_I came back for you, Father," Radek insists. "If Mother had asked me to come home for any other reason than a member of my family being sick, I wouldn't have done it." _

_Father sighs and closes his eyes. "You've always known your own mind. I don't suppose you've ever done anything you haven't wanted to do, have you?"_

"_I do what I think is right." _

"_Yes," says Father. "I suppose you do. Are you still going to America?"_

"_Yes."_

"_Who will care for your mother and Milena when you go?" _

"_Mirek will take care of Milena. He's her husband." _

"_And your mother?"_

"_I don't know." _

"_She needs you."_

_Radek can feel a lump beginning to grow in his throat when he remembers his mother saying the very same thing to him about his father. "I'll stay if you want me to, but—"_

"_Be strong for her," Father says. "That's what she needs."._

_Radek tries to hold his father's gaze, but he finds he cannot. His throat aches and he can feel tears beginning to sting his eyes. He rests his arms on the bed and pillows his head on them. He doesn't want to cry, but he can't stop himself, can't stop the hot tears that escape the edges of his eyes and slither in warm, inexorable rivulets down his face. He makes a sound, low and harsh, that might be a sob. He realizes he doesn't know how to face the prospect of losing his father. He can't be strong for Mother, because all of a sudden he doesn't even know if he has the endurance to carry himself through everything. _

_Several moments go by in which the only noise Radek hears is that of his own ragged breath. He tries desperately to regain his composure, and at last even his breathing becomes nearly silent. _

"_Son," his father says. "Radek." _

"_I'm sorry," Radek says._

"_You have nothing to be sorry for," says his father. "You're a good man. A good son." _

"_I'm not like you."_

"_I never asked that of you, Radek."_

"_You're not disappointed."_

"_No."_

"_You always seemed to be."_

"_I never was," Father says. "Perhaps I was only envious, because my own dreams never left the ground. Your dreams really fly, Radek. Maybe you will even reach those stars of yours some day." _

_Radek senses motion beside him. Something warm touches the top of his head, and he realizes it is Father's hand. Father has never been affectionate, rarely demonstrative. Radek feels a lifetime of missed contact flowing through his father's fingertips. He forgives everything and knows his father forgives him completely in kind. The ending will be a good one, bittersweet but peaceful and clean. Radek's tears renew themselves and he presses his face more closely against his arms. _

"_I love you, Father," he says, and he hopes his father hears and understands. _

_Father's hand moves, strokes Radek's hair. "I'm proud of you," Father says, "and I love you, too." _

-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-

"You know visiting hours are over, right?"

Radek was startled at the sound of a voice breaking the silence. He'd been lost in thought, watching Morin, and hadn't heard anyone approaching. He glanced up to see Itzhak standing less than a metre away, looking as rumpled and unkempt as ever. Radek wondered how long Itzhak had been there.

"What time is it?" Radek asked.

"God knows, but it's well past the time when all good little patients should be in bed," said Itzhak.

"Who said I was good patient?"

"Dr. Beckett. You wouldn't want to make a liar of him, would you?"

"I suppose not."

"I'm sure he'll be glad to know that," Itzhak said. "What are you doing over here, anyway?"

"I was keeping Morin company. Now I am thinking."

Itzhak perched on the edge of Morin's bed so that he was able to keep an eye on both Radek and the sleeping old man. "Thinking? Looked like you were in the middle of a regular brown study over here, my friend. You want to tell me what's rattling around in that genius brain of yours?"

"Nothing is rattling in there. I don't need psychologist, Itzhak."

"You can tell me now, or you can tell Dr. Heightmeyer later. Personally, I know who _I'd_ tell," Itzhak said. "And it's 'Dr. Perlman' to you, remember?"

"Sorry," Radek said.

Itzhak smiled. "Hey, I'm joking. Of course you don't have to call me Dr. Perlman. Anyone who knows me knows that I don't stand on formality."

"Earlier, you said—"

"I know what I said," said Itzhak. "Listen, I just want to tell you I'm sorry about being so tough on you earlier. I don't like bullying people, but I knew you wouldn't have listened to me otherwise. I'm sorry about making you stay here, too, but it was for your own good."

"I know."

"You know?"

"Perhaps I'm glad I have to stay here, now that I've considered it."

Itzhak's eyebrows went up several millimetres. "Oh, really? Care to tell me about _that_? I wouldn't have guessed you were happy about it, the way you were glaring daggers at me."

"I talked with Morin."

"About what?"

"Fatherhood," Radek said. "He gave me a lot of things to think about."

"Anything you want to share?"

"Perhaps tomorrow," Radek said. "I'm tired now."

"You're tired and you're admitting it. That's good," Itzhak said. "I think we might be making some kind of progress here, Radek. You know what to do when you're tired, right?"

Radek smiled. "Sleep?"

"Gold star for you, champ." Itzhak laughed. He stood up, and offered Radek a hand up as well. "I think we've got a nice bed somewhere around here with your name on it."

"I wouldn't go so far as to call it a 'nice' bed."

'Hey, don't insult the décor. I'll have you know these are the finest beds the military knows how to produce, and you and I both know what the military is capable of when they put their shaved heads together."

"That is what worries me."

"Me, too," Itzhak said. "Come on. Seriously, God alone knows what time it is, and I have this thing about not letting my patients roam around the Infirmary unsupervised in the middle of the night."

"Can I make one detour before I go back to sleep? Zora promised she would take me to see Shadow, but she's not here, and—"

"On a first-name basis with Nurse Kovac already, I see. You'd do well to watch out for her, if you want my opinion."

"She's very nice. I like her."

"She's a rascal."

"I don't mind that."

"No, I suppose you don't. I get the feeling you like a good challenge," Itzhak said. He looked amused. "Okay. We'll go and look in on your Shadow for a minute, but after that, you're going back to bed. Got it?"

-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-

River Man had returned.

Shadow's vigilance had done well for her, and the effort she'd put forth to stay awake had not been in vain. Happiness and relief shone through her exhaustion and confusion like the first rays of sunlight through clouds after a long day of rain. River man had come back at last. Shadow could see him behind the clear wall. He was watching her, just as he'd done before.

She wanted him to walk through the door instead of just standing by the window. More than ever, she wished she could speak. If she had the power of speech, she would have called to him. As it was, she had no way to converse with him, no way to convey to him what she wanted.

Despite her tiredness, she told herself she had to concentrate. She could not speak and at the moment she was unable to write, but there had to be another method of communicating, another way to draw attention to herself.

She remembered being on her homeworld, and recalled seeing the village men nodding and beckoning to each other with gestures. _Come here_, they said. _Follow me._

She needed to raise her hand. River Man and his curly-haired friend were looking at her. They would have to notice if she moved. She shut her eyes and directed all her remaining energy toward her arm. She would not need to move it expansively. All she required of herself was to lift her hand.

_See me. Please see me,_ she begged the men behind the clear wall. _I am calling you. Come here. _

-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-

"Good Lord," said Itzhak. "I don't believe it! Radek, look."

Radek didn't need Itzhak Perlman to encourage him to look. He was already so close to the glass barrier that he'd practically pressed his nose against it. At first, he'd thought he imagined seeing Shadow's fingers move, but he knew his eyes weren't deceiving him when he saw her lift her entire hand from the bed. She managed to hold it up for a few seconds before letting it fall to her side again.

It took Radek a moment to get over his surprise and find his voice. 'Has she done that before?"

"No," Itzhak said. "She's been awake off and on, but she hasn't made any independent purposeful movements since she's been in that room."

"Then, this is a good sign."

"It's a hopeful sign. Let's leave it at that, for now," Itzhak said. He turned around and started for the door. "You stay here and keep an eye on her, okay? I'll be right back."

"Wait," Radek said. "Where are you going?"

"Stay here. I'm going to get Dr. Beckett."

"Won't he be sleeping?"

"I don't care," Itzhak said. "I'll wake him up. Under the circumstances, I don't think he's going to mind."

**TBC  
-------------------- **


	26. Children

**DISCLAIMER – **_Stargate: Atlantis_ is not mine. It is the intellectual property of MGM/UA and associates. I am writing this story for fun and personal enjoyment, and I am receiving no compensation, monetary or otherwise, for its creation. No copyright infringement is intended.

Shadow, Dr. Kadan Morin, Zora Kovac and Dr. Itzhak Perlman are my original characters. If you want to use them, ask me. I will most likely say yes.

**RATING – **This story is rated **T**

**ARCHIVE – **Feel free to archive this story if you'd like. Please, just tell me where you're putting it. Thanks!

**A/N – **First off, my apologies… this update was a bit longer in coming than I'd anticipated. I got side-tracked by another story, and I've been rather busy offline as well. Big thank you to all who replied to the last chapter. I really do appreciate all those replies and comments from you!

Anyway, here is Chapter 26 for you. Again, I've got sort of an extraneous scene in the middle because, as it turns out, Dr. Perlman isn't the only scene-stealing OC in this story. Zora is rather persistent, too, so she popped up in the middle of this chapter, mischievous as ever. (The problem I've got now is trying to figure out what to do with her later… hehe) Well, I hope you'll all enjoy this chapter!

I have no beta. You can blame any mistakes on me.

* * *

**The Song Of Silent Rivers**

**26. Children**

Sometimes, Carson wondered why he bothered trying to sleep in his quarters at all. It would be more convenient in some instances if he just camped out on one of the Infirmary beds. He'd been known to do that occasionally, but tonight he'd allowed Itzhak to talk him into going home for the night. Itzhak had assured him that all would be well, everything was under control, and there was nothing Itzhak, Dr. Biro and the nurses couldn't handle. Carson wondered if he was the only one who saw the irony in the fact that the same person who'd guaranteed him a complete night's rest was the one who'd appeared at his door at 0300 hours.

Of course, Carson's mild irritation at having been wakened in the middle of the night hadn't lasted long when he learned the reason Itzhak had come to wake him. He'd dressed quickly while Itzhak waited, and then the two of them had hurried back to the Infirmary together to check the progress their unique patient.

Carson was further reminded why he liked to be around to supervise things himself when he and Itzhak arrived to discover Shadow was not alone in her room. He felt annoyance of a different sort when he spotted Radek Zelenka on the wrong side of the glass barrier that separated Shadow's room from the one next to it.

"What's he doing in there?" Carson demanded, before he could catch himself.

"I have no idea," Itzhak said.

"Did you—" Carson began, but he took a deep breath and let the question die unfinished. One look at Itzhak told him the Israeli doctor would never have allowed anyone unauthorized into the room. Itzhak was nearly as meticulous as Carson himself when it came to following procedure.

"I told him to keep an eye on her. I didn't mean for him to watch her from that side of the window," Itzhak said.

"I'm sorry. I didn't really expect you'd mean that," Carson said. He took a step toward the door. "He's got to come out of there straight away."

"No," said Itzhak, and placed a gently restraining hand on Carson's arm. "Just give him a few minutes with her. They both need that."

"He's not supposed to be in there," Carson said. "I can't believe he'd just walk right in. He _knows_ he's not supposed to be in there."

"Don't tell me this surprises you."

"I didn't think he'd be the sort that'd defy protocol," said Carson.

"You obviously don't understand fatherhood."

"Fatherhood?"

Itzhak clasped his hands behind his back and gazed through the window at Radek and Shadow. "Fatherhood," he repeated. "You know, I think I'd try to move Heaven and Earth for my boys. I sure as hell wouldn't let protocol stand in my way."

"I didn't know you had children, Itzhak."

"You never asked," Itzhak said. "I've got three boys. Elijah is seventeen. Samuel and Nathan are twins, and they're fifteen."

"You left your family to come here?"

Itzhak sighed. "Naomi and I divorced when the twins were ten. We haven't been a family for a while. She took them back to Israel," he said. "That's part of the reason I decided to accept the offer of a place on this expedition."

"I'm sorry," Carson said. "I didn't know."

"I don't talk about it much. It's not something I like to bring up in casual conversation."

"No, I can imagine not."

Itzhak was silent for a long time, gazing through the transparent barrier at the scene on the other side. Carson studied his friend. He'd never seen this contemplative side of Itzhak's personality before. Itzhak always seemed carefree and undaunted by life, the universe and everything. Carson would never have guessed what his friend and colleague kept quietly tucked away in his mind. It just went to prove that people were enigmas, Carson decided, living puzzles every one.

"You know," Itzhak said at length. "Shadow kind of reminds me of my twins."

"How's that?"

"Sam and Nathan were premature. They're congenitally deaf."

"Both of them?"

"Hmm…" Itzhak said. "We were living in the States when they were born. Naomi and I had to learn to sign, so we could teach it to the boys. Raising two deaf kids was a pretty big challenge."

"I should expect raising twins would be a challenge even if they weren't deaf."

"You can't really know unless you've been there," Itzhak said. All of a sudden, his usual grin was back in place. "I could tell you stories, but they'd just scare you."

"No doubt." Carson said. He let his gaze stray back to the window. "I think we've left them alone long enough in there, don't you? We'd better—"

Itzhak held up a hand. "I'll go first," he said.

"All right," Carson agreed. He'd been about to protest, but something he'd seen in his friend's expression made him change his mind. _You can't really know unless you've been there_, Itzhak had said. Carson had seen a lot of parents and children together, yet he had no practical knowledge of parenting. Perhaps, he decided, some situations were best handled by people who really understood.

-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-

"Why is it that I'm always finding you in places you aren't supposed to be?"

Radek looked over his shoulder to discover a masked and gloved Itzhak Perlman leaning casually against the closed door. Above the mask, Itzhak's eyes held a look of tolerant indulgence. Radek would have been reassured by that if he hadn't seen past Itzhak to where a very serious-looking Carson Beckett stood behind the window. Radek had the feeling Carson wouldn't be nearly as understanding as Itzhak about finding him in a place he shouldn't be.

He had weighed the consequences of entering the room without permission against some new instinct that had lately awakened in him. In the end, his innate feelings had won over his better judgment. Continuing to watch Shadow through the window had been much too difficult. Walking through the door had been easy, once he'd decided to do it. He should have been worried about the consequences, but he was not, and that surprised him. Just being near Shadow and being able to see she was doing better filled him with reassurance that overrode nearly everything else.

"I'm sorry," he said to Itzhak. "I can leave. I only wanted—"

Itzhak held up a hand. "I know. You don't have to explain."

"Carson is annoyed, isn't he?"

"He was a little startled, but I think I talked him out of being mad."

"What did you say to him?"

"Played the parenthood card, actually," said Itzhak. "I told him protocol wouldn't mean a damn thing to me if it happened to be one of _my_ kids in here. I meant it, too."

"Thank you," Radek said. He looked down at Shadow, smiling as he brushed his fingertips over her forehead.

Itzhak cleared his throat quietly. "I hate to do this, Radek, but you really do have to leave, now."

"I know," Radek said.

'I might be able to convince Dr. Beckett to let you visit again tomorrow."

"Really?"

"No promises," said Itzhak. "Say goodnight, okay? You've got to go."

Radek didn't want to leave, but he realized he had little choice at that point. He leaned close and whispered goodnight to the young woman who refused to look away from him. "I know you can't hear me, but I am going to tell you anyway," he said quietly to her. "You are very important to your father and to me. Your father loves you very much, and I…I…"

The words he wanted to say got caught somewhere between his heart and his mind, and he allowed the thought to drift, incomplete, into the relative silence of the room. He wished he could gather Shadow in his arms and sing to her as he'd done before. She'd seemed calmer, less afraid, then.

Radek felt Itzhak's hand come to rest on his shoulder. Fortunately, Itzhak said nothing to him as he turned him around gently and led him toward the door. Radek had to resist the impulse to look back, because he knew if he did, leaving would be exponentially harder than it already was.

-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-

It occurred to Elizabeth that she'd been visiting the Infirmary a lot during the past week. In fact, in the two years since their arrival in Atlantis, she'd probably visited more hospitalized people than she'd visited in her entire life before the Pegasus galaxy. It was part of her job, and not a part that she particularly liked, but she didn't consider it a burden. It was her responsibility, her duty, to see that they were all right. Elizabeth took her responsibilities seriously.

She had more than one person to check on, today. She needed to ask Carson about both Shadow and Morin, but she decided to look in on Radek, first.

When she discovered Radek sound asleep, she thought it would be best not to disturb him. She stood watching him for a minute. Curled on his side and hugging his pillow, he reminded her of a small child.

She was always amazed at how ingenuous people looked in repose. All traces of their waking cares seemed to vanish when they surrendered to the calm of sleep. Elizabeth had long since lost count of how many times she'd seen one of her people asleep in the Infirmary. Her feelings when she watched them ran through the spectrum from fear to worry to relief, yet one thing always remained constant. No matter who she happened to be watching over, she could not deny the presence of a sense of protectiveness. All the personnel in Atlantis were _her_ people, and she was concerned for the welfare of every one of them. She smiled to herself as she wondered whether this was some manifestation of the maternal instinct. Kate Heightmeyer would probably have a field day trying to analyze _that_, Elizabeth thought.

Leaving Radek to the rest he obviously needed, Elizabeth went in search of the Chief Medical Officer of Atlantis. She found him in his office. He was studying his computer screen intently. When Elizabeth looked over his shoulder, she saw some text in Ancient scrolling down the left side of the screen, while text in English scrolled down the right side. At first, she thought it might be something from the Ancient database, but then another idea occurred to her.

Sometime during the wee hours of the night, Rodney had evidently figured out how to activate the tablet device John's team had found on M4X-382. Elizabeth didn't necessarily condone Rodney's tendency to work until three in the morning, but in this case, the Canadian's diligence had paid off. When Elizabeth had met with Rodney – much later than 0300 hours – he'd told her the device had been used primarily for recording information. It was, in itself, essentially a small database. Rodney hadn't read much of the information the tablet contained, but he'd skimmed some of it, and had been able to conclude the bulk of the text was written in Ancient. He'd also surmised the tablet device belonged to Morin.

Rodney had said one of the files on the tablet was labelled 'experiments'. He'd wanted to look at that, himself. Elizabeth had suggested that he should show it to Carson and Dr. Perlman, too. Perhaps that was the information Carson was examining now.

Carson seemed intent on what he was doing. Elizabeth didn't want to startle the doctor, so she knocked lightly on the edge of the door.

Carson looked up from his computer. "Elizabeth," he said. "How are you? Has Rodney shown you any of this? It's fascinating."

Well, that confirmed her guess about the information being from Morin's tablet device. She said, 'I haven't had much of a chance to look at it, yet. Are you finding anything useful?"

"This man's knowledge of genetic manipulation is…" Carson waved a hand at the laptop, apparently at a loss for words. "It's truly _remarkable_."

Elizabeth smiled. "That really _is_ the word of the week."

"Aye, I expect it is, but I can't think of another one. Can you?"

"No," Elizabeth said.

"Itzhak Perlman's going to have a grand time with these data."

"I have a suspicion both of you are going to have a grand time with it," Elizabeth said. "I don't like to interrupt your fascinating research, but I just came to see how our visitors from M4X-382 are doing. Do you think you could—"

"Oh, yes, of course," Carson said. He closed his laptop. "Shadow's doing a wee bit better. Her fever's gone down quite a bit since last night, though she's still in a critical condition, in my opinion. Dr. Perlman seems to think the immune enhancing drugs are starting to have an effect."

"That's good to hear," Elizabeth said. "What about Dr. Morin? How is he?"

"Morin is a different story altogether." Carson sighed. "I'm not as optimistic about his chances of survival."

"Are you saying he's dying?"

"Aye, I'm afraid so. Honestly, I'm surprised he's lived this long. We know most people don't survive being fed on by the Wraith. The ones that do live through the actual experience of a Wraith feeding usually die anyway, eventually. Their body systems simply begin to shut down, one by one."

"And that's what's happening to Morin?"

"We think so," Carson said.

Elizabeth let out her breath slowly. "Okay," she said at last. "I'll let you get back to your work. Keep me informed if anything changes."

-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-

Radek awoke to a light touch on his arm, and opened his eyes to the sight of Zora Kovac's likeable, smiling face. In the agreeably comfortable state between sleep and full wakefulness, most of his current fears and concerns hadn't yet resurfaced, and he gave in easily to his pleasure at seeing Zora again. It felt good to smile, and so he did, hoping to share in whatever unspoken humour was causing Zora to look so mischievous. He recalled Itzhak's warning of the night before, about Zora Kovac being a rascal. He told himself he should probably heed his friend's words of caution about the Croatian nurse, but somehow his resolve to withstand her charismatic presence was practically non-existent.

"Good morning, sleepyhead," Zora said.

Radek couldn't help being amused at the familiarity of her tone. He guessed her greeting wasn't exactly professional, but happily decided it didn't matter to him one bit.

"Why do I get the feeling it's not morning?" he said.

"Because it isn't, actually," said Zora. "It's afternoon. Here, I've got a surprise for you. Liquid wake-up call."

Radek sat up. Zora was offering him a cup that gave off a decidedly inviting aroma. He could feel his smile widening as he accepted it. "Coffee," he said, pleased. "Thank you."

"Guaranteed to cure everything." Zora put her finger to her lips. "Don't tell Dr. Perlman."

"He will never know," Radek assured her.

"Good," Zora said. She perched on the edge of his bed. "So, now that you're awake and you've got coffee, how do you feel?"

"Better. Has Itzhak been here?"

"He came by to check on you earlier, but he decided to let you sleep. I'm supposed to let him know when you're awake. Finish your coffee first, and then I'll go and get him."

"You don't believe in strictly following protocol, do you?"

Zora laughed outright at that. "That is the crow calling the raven black," she said. "I heard you were busy violating a few protocols yourself last night."

"I got the idea from you," Radek told her. "You are bad influence, or so Itzhak says."

"You don't think so?"

"I think I shouldn't answer that question."

Zora looked amused. "I have to say I like you, Radek. I really do. I should have more patients like you." Her tone became more conversational as she continued, "You know, the real reason I'm still hanging around here is because I wanted to tell you that you've slept through the most exciting part of the day."

Radek peered at her over the rim of the coffee cup. "What did I miss?"

"Dr. Beckett and Dr. Perlman were very excited about Dr. McKay's latest discovery this morning."

"What did Rodney discover that would make the doctors get excited?"

"Apparently, Morin was keeping a journal," Zora said. "From what I heard, it seems Dr. McKay figured out how turn on the tablet device your team found on Morin's planet. He found all sorts of interesting things in there, or so I understand."

"What interesting things?"

"Lab notes and things," Zora said. "You know, I'm a nurse, not a secret agent. I didn't find out anything specific."

"I think you would make good secret agent."

"Should I be flattered?"

Radek gave her what he hoped was an enigmatic smile. It occurred to him in an abstracted kind of way that he was flirting with Zora, but there was something about her that made him unable to resist. Very strange, he thought, that Zora should have such an effect on him. He hardly knew her, after all, and he was certain his true affection was already invested elsewhere, as fruitless as _that_ relationship was doomed to be. The human psyche was a puzzling thing.

He said, "I think I should speak with Rodney about what he discovered."

"Well, you can as soon as Dr. Perlman lets you leave."

"Do you know when Dr. Perlman is going to let me leave?"

"I might tell him I want to keep you," Zora said.

"Please don't," said Radek.

Zora laughed. "I understand the appeal of freedom, so I won't take your eagerness to leave too personally." She stood up and brushed some imaginary dust from her uniform. "I'll go and find Dr. Perlman for you, okay? Don't go away."

"Zora, wait."

"What is it?"

"Since we are…bending protocol today, can you wait a little longer to tell Itzhak I'm awake?"

"I can wait as long as you like," Zora said. "Why do you want me to wait?"

"I promised Dr. Morin I'd come and see him again today," Radek said. He'd only just remembered he'd made that promise to the old scientist. "The day is half over. I don't want him to think I am not coming to see him after all. He had something to tell me about Shadow, and I'm interested to know what it is."

"I'd be interested to know what he has to say, too," said Zora. "There's been an air of mystery about the Infirmary lately, and I like nothing better than uncovering a good mystery."

"You _are_ secret agent."

"The name is Kovac. Zora Kovac," Zora said, in the worst imitation of an English accent Radek had ever heard. She winked at him, and laughed. "Go and see Morin. If Dr. Perlman happens to show up looking for you while you're gone, I'll tell him you're on a top-secret mission."

"Thank you. After this, I will owe you."

Zora grinned at him. "I'll remember that."

-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-

Radek was glad to find Morin awake when he stepped past the curtain that sheltered the old scientist's bed from the rest of the Infirmary. Morin was lying on his back, staring at the ceiling, just as he'd been doing last night. The old man looked as if he were deep in thought. Radek studied Morin in profile for a moment before the old scientist noticed him, and he was unsettled to see just how pale and fragile Morin was. He seemed more frail even than he'd been last night, if that was possible. As morbid as the thought was, Radek could not help wondering how much longer the old man might live. He could continue for weeks, or mere hours. The sight of Morin reinforced why the Wraith were so fearsome an enemy. If they could reduce a healthy, vital person to the state in which Morin was, they held both physical and psychological power. The knowledge of one's own mortality was a powerful force.

"Dr. Morin," Radek said quietly, not wishing to startle the old man.

Morin turned his head. "Hello," he said. "You came."

"I promised I would."

"I thought you might not be coming."

"I was indisposed," Radek said, as he settled into the chair next to Morin's bed. "How are you feeling today?"

"Weak," Morin said.

"I'm sorry to hear that."

"Have you seen Jana?"

"Yes. She's doing better."

"Good," Morin said. He closed his eyes for a moment. "I have been thinking about the things I wish to tell you."

"Last night, you said you wanted to tell me about Jana," said Radek.

"I do, but there are other things you should know," Morin said. "I shall tell you of Jana, first, but you must hear the other things as well."

"Of course," Radek said.

"I must tell you of Jana's sisters and brother."

_Sisters and brother_? Radek had a vivid mental picture of the three perfect little children in the stasis pods. He said, "On your world we found two girls and a boy in stasis. Were they—"

"My children? Yes," Morin said. His mouth twisted in a bitter grimace. "Your Beckett would call them experiments, no doubt. He does not understand as you do."

"I think you underestimate Dr. Beckett."

"Perhaps."

"Tell me about your other children."

"I created Nara and Janaya first," Morin said. "Then Kadan."

Radek smiled. "Kadan was the boy? You named him after yourself."

"A father's pride," said Morin. None of them lived past the age of three seasons. They all had a genetic flaw I could not correct. Their bodies were unable to fight even the least virulent pathogens. Jana had this flaw, too, but for her I was able to develop a treatment. It did not prevent her from becoming ill, but it did prevent common diseases from killing her. She is eleven seasons, now."

"Nineteen," Radek said. "Dr. Beckett thinks she's eighteen or nineteen."

Morin's eyes widened. "No, that is impossible. Jana cannot be nineteen seasons."

"Why not?"

"Because, I…I was in the pod for…for eight seasons? That does not seem possible. And the treatment… Jana could not have lived for eight seasons without it."

"What if she was never exposed to any diseases?"

"She would have to grow up in complete isolation—" Morin began. Radek could see comprehension in the old scientist's expression, and he could also see dread. Morin closed his eyes and rocked his head from side to side on the pillow. "No, no, no… I can't think of that. Eight seasons…_alone_."

"She isn't alone, now."

"Eight seasons…"

"Dr. Morin, it's all right," Radek said. He put a hand on the old man's forearm. "Be calm…please. Tell me about the treatment you created for Jana. How does it work? Do you think it will help her now?"

"I do not know," Morin whispered. "The information is in my notes, but I…I cannot prepare it now."

"Dr. Beckett might be able to."

"Perhaps." Morin said.

"He is very good at creating things like that. He knows what he is doing."

"He does not possess the knowledge of the Ancestors," Morin said.

"Is that necessary?"

Morin didn't reply for several minutes. He lay so still that Radek thought he'd fallen asleep. When he finally did answer, his voice was drowsy and slurred. "Your people…familiar with… Ascension?"

"Yes," Radek said.

Radek wondered with Ascension had to do with creating a vaccine. It seemed like a non-sequitur. Perhaps Morin had changed the subject so he wouldn't have to debate Carson's ability to synthesize the mysterious drug.

He would have asked Morin what the connection was between Ascension and the drug, if his attention hadn't been drawn away by something else. The monitor that measured Morin's heartbeat had been beeping steadily, but the rhythm began to slow down. Perhaps the old man's heart rate had been decreasing all along, but Radek had failed to notice it until now. He touched Morin's shoulder and said the old scientist's name. Morin didn't respond except to mumble something totally incomprehensible.

Radek wasn't sure what he should do, but after a bit of frantic thought, the rational part of his brain offered up the only logical solution. When in doubt, defer to a greater authority. He stepped out from behind the curtain around Morin's bed, deciding he needed to find one of the doctors, preferably Carson.

He should have been paying better attention to where he was going, because on the way to Carson's office, he found himself colliding, literally, with the impressively tall figure of Zora Kovac, who had been going in the opposite direction.

Zora did not seem perturbed in the slightest by their impromptu meeting. In fact she was laughing. "Radek!" she said. "I like enthusiastic greetings as much as the next girl, but this is a bit extreme, don't you think? Where are you going in such a hurry?"

"We need to find Dr. Beckett," he said.

"Why? What's the—"

Zora's question was interrupted by a disconcertingly insistent alarm sounding from across the Infirmary. Radek didn't have to look in order to know exactly where the noise originated.

"Morin," he said to Zora.

It was shocking how quickly Zora's expression had gone from mildly playful to completely professional. She was all business when she took Radek by the arm and steered him toward the bed he'd occupied less than half an hour before.

"Try to keep out of the way, Radek," she said. "I'll find Dr. Beckett."

**TBC  
-------------------- **

**A/N #2 - **Oo...again with the chapter ending that leaves the plot dangling... Well, I'll try to update a bit sooner next time! Sorry it took so long this time, but I have this other story demanding to be written. I will try to update that one soon, as well.

And...yay! Only 9 more days until Grace comes home! hehe I have new pictures from the breeder as well, which is very exciting.


	27. Legacy

**DISCLAIMER – **_Stargate: Atlantis_ is the intellectual property of MGM/UA and associates. I am not receiving any profit from the writing of this story. I am writing this story solely for fun and personal enjoyment. No copyright infringement is intended.

Shadow, Dr. Kadan Morin, Zora Kovac and Dr. Itzhak Perlman are my original characters. If you want to use them, all you have to do is ask me. I will most likely say yes.

**RATING – **This story is rated** T**

**ARCHIVE – **If you want to archive this, please feel free to do so. Let me know where it's going, though. Thanks!

**A/N – **Once again I just want to send out a huge THANK YOU to each and every one of you who replied to the last chapter. As always, I love and appreciate each reply I get. You all make my day with your comments!

Here is Chapter 27 for you. My apologies for the length of time between updates, but for some reason this chapter was particularly hard to write. The chapter has gone through several iterations and looks nothing like it did in its first draft. I hope it works and I hope you all like it. Let me know what you think.

Any blocks of text that are written in present tense and _italicized_ are flashback scenes.

I have no beta. Mistakes, if you find them, can be attributed to me.

* * *

**The Song Of Silent Rivers**

**27. Legacy**

All his life, Radek had dreamed of flying. He'd always been fascinated watching birds in flight, and there had been moments in his childhood when he'd wished he could soar into the sky after them. As a boy, he had constructed kites and model planes. Later, he had studied the mechanics of flight, and had helped to build real aircraft. Now, part of his job was to work on ships capable of travelling through space. If his Earthbound colleagues and friends knew what he was doing, they would probably have said he had experienced more and achieved more than anyone could ever have expected; nevertheless, even in the middle of the great adventure that was the Pegasus galaxy, Radek never stopped dreaming about flying.

He'd made the Atlantis puddlejumpers his own personal project during the two years he'd been in the Pegasus galaxy. By now, he knew the inner workings of little spacecraft better than anyone else in the Lost City. The 'jumper bay was his domain, just as much as it was Colonel Sheppard's or Major Lorne's or any of the other pilots'. He spent a lot of time working on the little ships, sometimes talking to them, and even on occasion singing to them as Colonel Sheppard had once noticed. One of the other scientists had commented teasingly that the 'jumpers were Radek's children. It had been a running joke among the science staff for a while, and Radek had conceded it was an amusing notion, too.

However, with a different perspective on the meaning of parenthood, Radek only saw his colleague's jest as a trite and frivolous statement. The 'jumpers were not children. Though they were artificially intelligent, they were machines. The 'jumpers could not reciprocate any feelings a human might have toward them. They were sophisticated tools, and nothing more.

Still, knowing the 'jumpers as he did, Radek took comfort in the familiarity of them. They were solid and real, logically constant, and they anchored him when he felt as if he was adrift in the storm that was daily life in Atlantis. He did some of his most serious thinking while tucked away inside a puddlejumper. People rarely bothered him in the 'jumper bay, because nearly everyone knew he didn't like to be interrupted while he worked. Sometimes, he came to the 'jumper bay when he wasn't working, just to sit inside one of the small spacecraft and give himself up to whatever happened to be on his mind.

That's what he was doing tonight, sitting in the aft section of Jumper Four, trying to sort out the events of the past couple of days. His thoughts kept returning to Morin and some of the things the old man had said to him. Radek was still curious about why Morin had asked him whether or not the humans in Atlantis were familiar with Ascension. It seemed incongruous, though perhaps it was significant in some way. Morin had also said the information about the treatment he'd developed for Shadow's immune deficiency was in his notes. Radek wondered if the old scientist's notes were stored in the tablet device, or if they were in one of the handwritten books the team had seen in the Ancient lab on Morin's planet. He realized he wouldn't be able to ask Morin about that, now. The old scientist was still alive, but everyone seemed doubtful that he would live until the morning.

It was thanks to Carson Beckett that Morin was alive at all, Radek reflected. He had never fully comprehended what happened in the Infirmary during a crisis until he'd witnessed it first hand. Zora's admonition for him to stay out of the way had been brusque, but in retrospect he was thankful for it, because the previously quiet area had erupted into organized chaos from every side. The last place Radek had wanted to be was in the middle of the human storm. He knew he could never be a medical doctor. Just watching Dr. Beckett, Dr. Biro and the nurses at work made him anxious.

What had felt like a long time after the Infirmary had settled back to something passing for normal, Itzhak had appeared in his usual dishevelled state. Itzhak had seemed distracted, almost agitated for some undisclosed reason. He'd apologized copiously for keeping Radek waiting, though he hadn't elaborated on what had detained him. He'd examined Radek, declared him fit to leave, and sent him on his way with dire warnings about the consequences of not taking better care of himself and even more dire warnings about the consequences of involving himself with a certain Croatian nurse. Radek had only half-listened to most of what Itzhak was saying. His mind had been on things other than Zora Kovac and getting at least seven hours' sleep a night.

His thoughts had mostly been taken up with worry over Shadow and Morin. He supposed there was little coincidence in the fact that contemplating the dying scientist had made him think about his own father as well. He'd been remembering Father a lot, lately. Ever since meeting Morin and Shadow, Radek had begun to see his own family in a new way.

His Uncle Jaromir had once told him life was a journey of learning. Radek had taken the adage literally, believing there was no end to the human capacity for attaining knowledge. Now, he was beginning to see his uncle hadn't only been speaking of learning in the formal sense, but about self-knowledge, about discovering new meaning in things one assumed he already knew.

-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-

_The sky is soft and grey after a recent rain. The light it casts is like the illumination inside an old church; ethereal and pale, reflecting against a ceiling so high it can only be touched by angels and spirits. Radek cannot keep the ironic smile from his face when this thought crosses his mind. Radislav Zelenka would have failed to appreciate his son's poetic musings at his funeral. He would have, however, doubtless appreciated the solemnity with which the rest of his family and friends are mourning him. _

_Radek had expected to feel grief today, sorrow or regret. Instead, he simply feels empty, hollow, like a man searching for satisfaction he cannot find. Perhaps he'd exorcised all his stored emotion that morning in the hospital when he'd cried like a child at hearing Father finally say he was proud of him, that he loved him. Perhaps he had accepted the inevitability of his father's death that day as well. He wonders if this explanation even makes sense. _

_Beside Radek, his mother cries quietly as the priest intones some ritual prayer. On Radek's other side, his sister Milena's face is hidden against her husband's shoulder, turned away from Father's grave. Uncle Jaromir is standing at attention like a soldier. His expression is impassive, but his eyes say a thousand things his face does not. Radek curls his fingers around his mother's hand. She clings tightly, and he hopes he can give her the strength that she needs while he is here.. _

_They have discussed his going to America. Radek had assured her that he would stay with her, if that was what she wanted. Mother had said no. He must go to America, because that's what _he_ wants. His life stretches ahead of him with untold promise, while hers is already more than half spent. Perhaps, she had said, she might visit America one day. Radek had smiled at that. He knows she will never leave Prague._

_Radek is leaving for America in three days. He can remember a time in his life when three days would have felt like a veritable eternity. Now it seems hardly enough time to say his farewells and accomplish everything he needs to do before going away. _

_He looks at the assembled mourners. Many of them are Father's friends and co-workers, men Radek only knows as Mr. Prochazka or Mr. Novak or any of a handful of other surnames. He sees Tatiana and Alexander's parents standing near the middle of the group. Tatiana is with them, and she smiles encouragingly at Radek when he catches her eye. Radek knows he'll miss quiet little Tatiana when he goes away. She and her twin brother Alexander have been Radek's friends since all of them were very small children. _

_At the far edge of the crowd, Radek spots someone he had not expected to see here today. Jirina Dvorak's smile is of an entirely different quality than Tatiana's. Looking at her, Radek wonders why she is here. She ornaments the arm of her fiancé and looks pretty, and doesn't appear to be mourning anything or anyone. He chides himself for the thought the moment it crosses his mind. He has no cause to be uncharitable, for he really doesn't know what Jirina might be thinking. After all, Radek probably doesn't look like he's in mourning, either. _

_It is only jealousy that makes him feel unkind towards Jirina, he concludes. His foolish heart still loves her, despite the truth he can plainly see for himself. Jirina's life does not include him any more in the way it once did. She has found a brave soldier to marry. She isn't interested in a shy engineer who dreams of flying and exploring America. Radek tells himself he should be happy for her, but can't bring himself to feel anything close to happiness. _

_Maybe some day he'll be able to forget. Time is supposed to be the great healer, so perhaps his pain will disappear as time and distance grow between himself and the source of his heartache. Perhaps all his inner hurts will fade that way and he will no longer awaken in the night from bad dreams. _

_Radek passes the rest of the service in deciding how he will spend the next three days. He knows he should be paying attention to what the priest is saying, but he can't. The priest is a stranger and cannot possibly know anything about the man whose body he is committing to the earth today. Any one of the men gathered near the grave would say more meaningful things about Radislav Zelenka than this dreary little priest is doing. They could have said he did not believe in God. He wouldn't have wanted some falsely deferential clergyman to intone a tedious liturgy over him. _

_Radek imagines his father would have preferred to have his ashes scattered in the Vitava while his friends stood by the riverbank and saluted him. Radek had heard Father talking about that once, and he'd wondered at the time if the older man had meant it. In retrospect, Radek thinks saying farewell to his father while scattering his ashes over the river might have been a more fitting tribute than standing in a cemetery in the rain. _

_In the evening, after the funeral, people come to the house to offer their condolences. Well-meaning neighbours show up with more food than anyone possibly wants or needs. Radek has never understood this particular habit of bringing sweets and soup and other things to the family of someone who has died. There are a lot of customs surrounding death he does not understand. _

_With the kitchen full of visitors, Radek does not want to be there. No one notices him leaving the house, or if they do notice, nobody comments on it. Radek goes to the back yard. He's surprised when he discovers someone else is already out here. Uncle Jaromir is leaning against the big tree, smoking and staring into the sky._

"_There are no stars tonight," Uncle Jaromir says. _

_Radek crosses the yard and stands beside his uncle. He tips his head back and gazes into the cloudy darkness. "Just because we can't see them, it doesn't mean they aren't there," he says. _

"_I suppose you could say that about a lot of things. People, too," Uncle Jaromir says. He draws deeply on his cigarette and then exhales a stream of bluish smoke into the mist. "Want to go for a walk, Radek?" _

"_Where?"_

"_I can't see your father here. I thought we might find him by the river." _

"_With the river spirits?" Radek says. _

_Uncle Jaromir smiles. "Where else would you expect him to be? The river was something he loved. The water and the stars. When we were boys, he talked about being a sailor. He wanted to see the ocean." _

"_I never knew that." _

"_There are a lot of things you don't know." _

"_I…I feel as though I never really knew him at all. I loved him, but I never knew him. How do you think that's possible?"_

"_He was your father." _

"_I wish I'd been able to know him better."_

"_Now isn't the time for regrets," Uncle Jaromir says. He drops the remains of his cigarette and crushes it into the wet earth. He steps away from the tree. Putting an arm around Radek's shoulders, he says, "Let's walk by the river, and I'll introduce you to him." _

-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-

The metallic ring of something knocking against the hull of the 'jumper pulled Radek from his reverie. He hadn't expected someone to come looking for him, though if anyone did, he guessed it would be Elizabeth. She'd found him hiding in 'jumpers before, and she was the only one who dared to disturb him there when he wasn't actually working on the little ships. He found himself mentally preparing for a conversation with her. Lately, he hadn't been able to talk to her without feeling slightly uneasy for one reason or another, and that worried him a little. He shouldn't have to be uncomfortable with her. He'd never felt that way before.

When he opened his eyes and peered around the edge of the open hatch, he was surprised to discover the person standing there was not Elizabeth. He let out the breath he hadn't been aware he was holding. He must have looked nearly as surprised as he felt.

Zora Kovac was laughing at him.

"Hello, Radek," she said. "Do you hide here often?"

"How did you know I was here?" Radek asked.

"I'm a secret agent, remember?" Zora said. "Can I come in?"

"Of course."

Zora climbed into the 'jumper and settled herself on the seat beside him. "Actually, Major Lorne said he saw you come in here. He told me where to find you."

"Why were you looking for me?"

"I just wanted to make sure you're okay," Zora said. "When you left the Infirmary this afternoon, you looked kind of…lost."

"Maybe I was."

"How are you now?"

"Everyone asks me this," Radek said. "I don't know the answer."

"It's okay," Zora said. "I guess I wouldn't know the answer either, if I'd experienced everything you've been through lately."

"Thank you for finding me, Zora."

"I'm sorry about Morin," she said.

"Me too," Radek said. "I think it is tragic legacy, to die in the Lost City only days after finding it. I wish things could be different for him."

"You'd like to know him better."

"Yes. I want him to be able to see Shadow, too."

Zora smiled at him, and all he saw was sincerity in her expression. There was no trace of the mischievous person he'd observed in the Infirmary. She reached across the space between them and laid her hand next to his so that the edges of their fingers barely touched. It was a respectful gesture, Radek thought, yet there was something intimate about it as well.

"It's remarkable," Zora said, "how somebody you barely know can become important to you in such a short time."

"Some people make bigger impact than others."

"Yes, some people do. Once you meet a person like that, you know you'll never look at life in quite the same way again."

"Have you ever met someone like that?"

"I've met a few," Zora said. "Once, I had a chance meeting with a man I thought I could fall in love with, if only I'd had the opportunity to get to know him."

"What happened?"

"He was a patient," Zora said.

"He disappeared."

"No, not really. I saw him again, but I think he might've been in love with someone already."

"You never asked?"

"No," Zora said. "How do you ask a question like that to someone you barely know?"

"You are secret agent. I'm sure you could find out."

Zora laughed. "That's going to be a private joke with us, now, isn't it? My being a secret agent, I mean."

"Perhaps."

"You're amazing, you know that? I came here to cheer _you_ up, and you're the one making me laugh," Zora said. She grinned at him. "Maybe I should have asked Dr. Perlman to let me keep you after all."

"You wouldn't like to keep me. As the Americans say, I am high-maintenance."

"I'm a nurse. Maintenance is what I do. Besides, it's been a long time since I had anyone to take care of, outside of the professional context."

Radek looked away from her because suddenly he could feel the heat of a blush creeping across his cheeks. He was startled to realize it wasn't discomfort or embarrassment that was making him blush. He was more than a little flattered to think Zora wanted to take care of him. No one had said anything like that to him before. Not even Elizabeth had ever told him she wanted to take care of him.

When he thought about it, he realized there were a lot of things Elizabeth had never said to him, things that she'd only implied. It occurred to him that he didn't really know how she felt about him at all. He had only assumed that he knew.

With Zora, he suspected it would be different. Zora would have no difficulty expressing herself, no ethical or political inhibitions. In fact, she had already said quite a lot. He would have liked to hear more of what Zora had to say, but something that might have been his conscience began to poke him and remind him this conversation was probably bordering on the inappropriate.

Radek lifted his hand so that it wasn't resting so close to Zora's. He said, "I should go."

"Why?"

"I…have things to do. I can't hide in here all night,"

"No, I suppose you can't," said Zora. She got up. "I suppose I should go, too. I also have things to do."

Neither of them asked what the other planned on doing once they left the 'jumper bay. Radek knew this was a tacit agreement not to scratch below the surface of each other's reasons for ending their conversation before it evolved into something for which neither of them was prepared. Maybe later, they would have another meeting like this. Maybe they would not. Radek had learned a long time ago not to attempt to predict the future, because events in the universe never seemed to transpire the way one expected them to.

-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-

Every doctor knew that death was an inevitable element in the human condition. Its inevitability, however, never made it easier to accept. Kadan Morin was dying, and Carson Beckett knew there was nothing anyone could do about it, but the situation still made him feel frustrated, a bit sad and a bit angry, and a dozen other emotions in between. Perhaps it was the untimely nature of Morin's end that upset him, the senselessness of it. Morin wasn't truly old, after all. The Wraith who'd stolen his life force had made a vital man of forty years appear closer to ninety. Who knew what Morin might have accomplished had he been able to live those fifty years instead of losing them to the ruthlessly voracious Wraith?

Carson looked down at his patient and wondered for the hundredth time that day why he and his staff had made such an effort to revive the old scientist. For what purpose had they tried so desperately to prolong Morin's life? _Because we're medical professionals. That's what we do_, said the voice in his mind. _We swore an oath to preserve life_.

Carson never ceased to marvel at the human need to preserve life for the sake of life itself. He remembered the lines from the poet, Dylan Thomas, who advised mankind: 'do not go gentle into that good night'. Often, it wasn't the one who was dying that raged against death, but the people around him who fought to stave it off. He didn't ask himself whether or not it made any sense because he didn't want to get into a philosophical argument with himself. Those were never pleasant.

While Carson watched over him, Morin began to wake. The old man's eyelids fluttered and he made a peculiar sound, low in his throat. Carson wondered how lucid Morin would be, if he fully regained consciousness. He'd seen patients at the end of their lives become incredibly clear-minded, even if they hadn't been so in the days or hours before.

Morin made another unintelligible noise. His hand moved aimlessly atop the white sheet. Carson lifted Morin's hand, gently stilling the motion of the old man's fingers. At the contact, Morin finally opened his eyes.

Carson smiled at him. "You're still with us, Dr. Morin," he said.

"Beckett," Morin said. The word was slurred and muffled by the oxygen mask that covered his face, but it was unmistakable.

"That's right."

Morin mumbled something else that Carson couldn't understand, and gripped Carson's fingers weakly. With his free hand, Carson reached out and eased the mask away from Morin's face, just for a moment, to give the old man a chance to be understood.

"Want…see…River Man," Morin whispered.

"Of course," Carson said. "He'll want to see you, too, unless I miss my guess. I'll tell him you need to speak with him."

-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-

The Infirmary was quiet when Radek arrived. He didn't know why he'd expected it to be otherwise. Perhaps he was still remembering the commotion of this afternoon. The place certainly hadn't been quiet, then.

Radek and Zora had just left the 'jumper bay, and Radek had been on his way to his lab when Carson had called him and asked him to come to the infirmary. Even before Carson began to explain, Radek had guessed what the physican wanted to tell him. Morin had awakened, and the person the old scientist wanted to see was Radek.

Radek dared not guess why Morin wanted to speak with him. During their last conversation, Morin had inferred there were several important things he'd wanted Radek to know. Radek didn't want to speculate about what was so important to the old scientist that he needed to impart it in the final hours of his life.

Radek allowed Carson to lead him to the curtained-off corner of the Infirmary where Morin rested. Neither of them said anything as they went, and even when Carson held back the curtain to let Radek step through first, they didn't exchange any words. Morin lay almost exactly as Radek had last seen him, on his back with his green eyes wide open and fixed on some point on the white ceiling. The only difference now was that an oxygen mask covered the old scientist's face.

Carson laid a hand on Morin's arm and leaned in close to speak to him. "Dr. Morin," he said. "There's someone here to see you."

Only Morin's eyes moved. When he saw Radek, he smiled weakly beneath the mask. Carson lowered the mask from the scientist's face, and Morin drew in a harsh breath.

"River Man," he said.

Radek smiled at Morin's use of that name for him. Morin had adopted it immediately when Radek had explained this was the name Shadow had given him. It was unusual to hear someone address him aloud that way. He'd gotten used to seeing it written in Ancient.

"I'm here, Dr. Morin," he said.

"Tell you…something," Morin rasped.

"Yes. Dr. Beckett said you wanted to tell me something. I'm listening."

"This is…very important. About Jana."

"What about her?"

"You…" Morin said. "Now…she is…your daughter."

Radek had never seen a more beseeching look on anyone's face than he beheld on Morin's just then. The old man was pleading with him to take on a tremendous responsibility, one which Radek was honestly uncertain he could handle. He wanted to – there was no denying that fact – but the idea was overwhelming, to say the least.

"Dr. Morin, I—"

"Please," the old scientist whispered. His green eyes were bright with tears. "Please…"

"I'll take care of her," Radek said.

"I know you will. Tell…tell her…"

"I will tell her you love her very much."

"Yes. Tell her…I said goodbye."

"I will. I promise."

Morin closed his eyes. Only the slow rhythm of the machine that measured his heartbeat told of the way he held onto the last fragments of his life. Carson stepped up and carefully replaced the oxygen mask over Morin's face. Radek thought the doctor looked very sad. He could hardly expect otherwise, for Carson would imminently lose a patient he was powerless to save. Radek thought he understood a little of Carson's helplessness, because he felt it himself. He wished desperately there was something they could do, even though he knew there was nothing.

Carson met his gaze from across Morin's bed. "You know, you don't have to stay," he said.

"I know," Radek said. "But, I think I will, if it's all right. He shouldn't be alone. I would not want to be alone if I were in his place."

Carson seemed to think about it for a minute, but he finally agreed. "Aye, it's all right. You can sit with him for a little while."

Radek placed his palm over Morin's gaunt hand. He was speaking to Carson but looking at Morin when he said, "Thank you."

-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-

_The airport is busy and noisy. Radek's mother holds tightly to his arm as they make their way toward International Departures. Radek knows his mother doesn't like crowds. He'd told her she didn't have to come with him this morning, but she had insisted on bringing him to the airport and seeing him off. He understands how difficult it is for her, and he appreciates the effort she is making to be brave in the face of everything she must be feeling. It must be harder for her than it is for him. He is going on an adventure. She is going home to an empty house. _

_The idea of that almost makes him want to stay. He tries not to think about it as they reach the glass doors that separate the secure area and the departure gates from the rest of the airport. Radek knows that when he steps through those glass doors, he won't be able to look back. If he does, he'll never get to America. _

_Several metres from the door, Mother stops walking and pulls Radek to a stop beside her. She gently turns him around so they are facing each other, and Radek realizes this is the moment he has to say farewell. He takes a deep breath._

"_I can't believe I'm leaving," he says._

_Mother shakes her head. "Neither can I."_

"_Am I doing the right thing?"_

"_Yes," says Mother. "You are doing the right thing. It's never wrong to pursue a worthwhile ambition. Haven't I always told you that?"_

"_Yes," Radek says. "You and Uncle Jaromir have both been telling me that all my life." _

"_I'm glad you were paying attention," Mother says, and smiles fondly at him. "I have something to give you before you go.". _

"_What is it?"_

"_Something to help you remember where you come from and where you are going," Mother tells him. She reaches into her voluminous shoulder bag and pulls out something loosely wrapped in brown paper. She says, "Your father wanted you to have this. He made it for you." _

_She places the object in Radek's hands. When he unwraps it, he recognizes the wooden box carved with birds on its cover. Holding the box, Radek is able to see the image more clearly. His father's delicately etched birds are flying toward the top right corner, toward a single star._

"_It's beautiful," Radek says. "I…I saw him making this, before I left for England. I didn't know he was making it for me." _

"_He loved you so much, Radek," says Mother. "He just never seemed to know how to tell you." _

_Radek runs his fingertips over the etching on the box, and imagines his father's hands working to chisel the image of each graceful bird in flight, soaring toward the star. _

"_He knew how, Mother," Radek says quietly. "Sometimes people don't need words to say what they mean." _

_Mother smiles. "You're a good son."_

"_Thank you," Radek says. He tucks the carved box into his backpack and steps forward to give his mother a hug. "I love you, Mother. I'm going to miss you."_

"_I'll miss you, too," Mother says. "Take care of yourself in America, and don't forget to write to me."_

"_I won't forget." _

_Mother kisses his forehead, and whispers, "Be safe." _

_They say goodbye and they both turn away at the same time. It's difficult not to glance behind him as he walks through the doorway that leads to his future in America, but he manages to keep his eyes facing forward. _

_In his seat on the plane, he takes the wooden box out of his backpack so he can look at it again. Mother had been right about it being something to remind him of where he had come from. He'll think of Father every time he sees it and he'll remember home. _

_He traces the outline of the star and feels the smooth, warm wood beneath his fingers. He decides he's going to keep Aunt Kveta's chess set in this box from now on. It seems just about the right size to hold all the pieces, and he can't imagine anything else he'd want to put in a box like this. He lifts the cover to see what it looks like inside. _

_Resting at the bottom of the box is a small piece of blue paper. Radek lifts it out and unfolds it carefully. The note, in Father's strong, confident penmanship is short, simple. Ten words, yet in them are volumes of meaning that reach to the centre of Radek's heart._

Radek,  
May you always fly high and land softly.  
—Father

_Radek gazes at the note on the blue paper for a long time. He can't decide whether he is filled with happiness or sorrow, and in the end concludes he feels both. If this is what 'bittersweet' means, he thinks he understands it now. _

_The elderly lady in the seat next to his asks him if he is all right. He tells her, yes, everything is fine, and for the first time in a long time he believes he really will be all right. He has never been more courageous in the face of uncertainty than he is at this very moment. He doesn't know what will happen tomorrow or the next day, but the unknown future no longer seems as daunting. If he leaps from the metaphorical precipice today, he will be held aloft by his father's last words to him. _

_With perfect clarity he realizes his father's final gift to him is intangible and far greater than the box or even the evocative letter inside._

**TBC  
--------------------**


	28. Aftershock

**DISCLAIMER – **I do not own _Stargate: Atlantis_. It is the intellectual property of MGM/UA and associates. I am writing this story for fun and personal enjoyment, and I am not receiving compensation in any form, from any source, for the creation of this story.

Shadow, Zora Kovac, and Dr. Itzhak Perlman are my original characters. If you'd like to play with them, ask me nicely. I'm good at sharing. (and these are very playful OCs!)

**RATING – **This story is rated** T**

**ARCHIVE – **Feel free to archive, but please let me know where. Thanks!

**A/N – **Thank you all so much for the replies to Chapter 27! I'm so happy that people are replying! I got even more excited when I looked at the number of hits. I mean…_wow. _Thank you!

Here is Chapter 28 for you. It's a short one, but I don't think it needs any extra stuff to fill it out. The title is "Aftershock" and I think that pretty much sums it up. Meh...still have to figure out what to do with Zora Kovac. She won't go away, and I'm afraid I'm going to have to _keep_ her. lol! (Actually I might let someone else keep her ;) but we'll see…) Anyway, if anyone's got any suggestions, I accept them. Enjoy the chapter!

Translations for anything in Czech are at the end of the chapter.

* * *

**The Song Of Silent Rivers**

**28. Aftershock**

When the sun rose, Radek was sitting alone at a table in the mess hall. At that hour of the morning, the mess hall was nearly empty. The room's only other occupants were a pair of Marines at a table near the door who were peering sleepily at their breakfasts and not saying a word to each other.

Radek was tired. He'd slept fitfully during the night. His dreams had been filled with images of his father, of Shadow and Morin, of Zora and Elizabeth. When he'd awakened from a particularly vivid dream at 0400 hours, he decided he wouldn't be able to fall asleep again any time soon. He'd left his quarters and roamed the city, and finally ended up here.

He thought about the conversation he'd had with Morin the previous evening. He was certain he'd relived the moment a hundred times in his head since it had happened, hearing the old scientist speak the words that were destined to change Radek's life in a way he'd never imagined.

_Now she is your daughter_.

The impact of those five words was overwhelming. Radek didn't know whether he should be overjoyed or terrified at the prospect of being Shadow's guardian. Shadow wasn't exactly a typical child, but that didn't negate the fact that she needed someone to look after her. Radek wanted the responsibility, but he wasn't sure he was prepared for it. He'd spent most of his life avoiding children and ignoring any notions of parenthood, so how could he possibly be ready now?

Yet, Morin had trusted him. The old scientist must have seen something in him that Radek did not see in himself. He wouldn't have asked Radek to take care of Shadow, otherwise. The finality, the resoluteness of Morin's trust was what had amazed him; the old scientist's certainty in telling him that Shadow was now _his_ daughter. Morin wanted him to do more than just care for her. Radek and Shadow belonged to each other now.

He couldn't help wondering what Shadow herself would think when he explained all this to her. Would she even want him to be her guardian? He felt amost certain she would, but _almost_ certain left room for little seeds of doubt to take root in his heart. What if she didn't want him to take care of her? What would happen to her then?

She couldn't go back to her homeworld. The place was a ghostly wasteland. She might be happy living on the mainland with the Athosians, but someone would still have to look out for her and make sure she was all right.

Radek didn't want to think about that. He tried to turn his thoughts to something else, but the only other image that would come to his mind when he wasn't contemplating Shadow or Morin was a picture of himself sitting in the aft section of a 'jumper with Zora Kovac. He could almost hear Zora's low, melodious voice telling him she wanted to take care of him, and he could see her easy, friendly smile. He had experienced a kind of audacious pleasure in her presence, but now he felt like a traitor for it. What would Elizabeth say if she knew? He was infinitely glad she _didn't _know, and that she could not see into his thoughts to find out. He would never be able to explain himself if she could.

Elizabeth. He wasn't sure how to approach her any more. After the night they'd spent sitting together by Shadow's bed in the Infirmary, he'd sensed something had changed about their relationship. That night, he'd been very close to telling Elizabeth he loved her, but in hindsight, he was relieved not to have committed himself that way. He knew he did love Elizabeth, but he also knew any relationship they might have would be full of political and ethical complications as long as she was the expedition leader. He was, as his Uncle Jaromir used to say, playing with fire, and that was something he should not do if he did not want to be burned.

Radek was so immersed in his own inner dialogue that he'd almost forgotten about the two Marines across the room. When he heard one of them say good morning to somebody, he looked up in surprise. His stomach fluttered with apprehension when he saw who had just entered the mess hall, and he lowered his gaze just as quickly as he'd looked up. Elizabeth greeted the two Marines, but did not stop to chat with them. She was walking straight to the corner where Radek sat. Chance was a dreadful thing, Radek mused. It seemed that just by thinking about Elizabeth, he had summoned her, and if he'd been a superstitious man, he probably would have believed that wholeheartedly.

Elizabeth was wearing the diplomat's mask this morning, the mask of the leader. Her expression was carefully neutral. This was the face that made Radek uneasy. Elizabeth could use her meticulously cultivated impassivity like a shield so that others would never know what she might be thinking. She gave very little away with her body language. Radek disliked that she could read him so much better than he could read her. He couldn't help thinking that she held an unfair advantage over him, and that made him feel defensive.

He was not ready for the questions he was certain she wanted to ask, but he could see no way of getting out of answering them. This was another example of the undue influence she had on him, he thought. When she was acting in her capacity as the leader of Atlantis, he felt obligated to do as she asked. She was perceptive enough to know she could wield that power over him any time she chose to. Lately, every time she did so, he grew to resent it more and more.

He'd made himself vulnerable by allowing himself to love her. Now, he chastised himself for not having the foresight to keep that from happening. He ought to have known how futile it would be to let himself develop those feelings for her, but then, he had a history of giving his heart to the wrong people for safekeeping. He gave his head a mental shake. Perhaps he'd never learn.

He wrapped his hands around his cup of coffee and felt the soothing warmth of it against his palms. _Think calm thoughts_, he told himself. _Think calm thoughts_. Sometimes that little mantra worked for him, but he suspected this morning wasn't going to be one of those times.

-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-

Atlantis was never completely silent, but in the early hours of the morning it was relatively quiet. Elizabeth sometimes liked to watch the sunrise from her balcony, and at other times she simply enjoyed walking the corridors, feeling the llving city all around her. This morning she was restless. She had a lot of things to do today, but she could not set her mind on what she should do first. Eventually she knew, she would have to exercise a little self-discipline and go to her office to do her work, but before she did that, she needed to work off some of her nervous energy. A hot drink and a long walk around the city would help with that.

The mess hall was nearly deserted, as it always was at this time of day, though Elizabeth knew it would fill up quickly within the next half-hour. When she walked in, she only noticed three other people. A couple of Marines sat together at a table near the door. At the opposite end of the room from the two soldiers, Radek Zelenka was sitting by himself.

The two soldiers both seemed perfectly relaxed, which was more than could be said for Radek. Elizabeth watched him for a moment from the far side of the room. He looked tired and drawn, hunched in his chair with both hands cradling the mug on the table in front of him. Elizabeth couldn't help being a little worried about him.

One of the Marines greeted Elizabeth as she crossed the room. She said hello to him, but didn't pause for a longer conversation. The second Marine was staring placidly at his cereal and didn't seem to notice her. Radek was pretending not to notice her, either, though Elizabeth knew he'd seen her. He lowered his head a fraction when she approached.

"Hi," she said.

He didn't look at her. "Hello."

"How are you doing?"

He ignored the question. "Did you come looking for me?" he said.

"No. I came in for some tea, and I saw you here." Elizabeth rested her hand on his shoulder. "Are you all right?"

She felt the muscles in his shoulder grow tense when she touched him there. His entire arm became rigid. She could see his knuckles whiten as he gripped his coffee cup.

"Elizabeth, please don't," he said quietly. "Don't touch me."

She lifted her hand, puzzled and a little hurt by his response to the comfort she wanted to offer him. Personal contact was something he usually seemed more than willing to accept from her. She didn't understand why he refused to let her touch him now.

"Can I sit down?" she said.

Radek shrugged almost imperceptibly. "You're the person in charge. You can do what you like."

"If you'd rather be alone, all you have to do is tell me."

He still didn't look at her, but gestured at the chair across from his. "Sit. This conversation will not become any easier if we wait. I know you want to talk about things."

"I thought you might want to talk," Elizabeth said.

"_Jaký pocínovat jářku?_ What should I tell you?"

"Anything. You know you can tell me anything."

"No, I can't,"

"Radek—"

"I watched a man die, Elizabeth. What do you _expect_ me to tell you? No words will make things different."

"I'm sorry about Morin."

"Are you?" he said quietly. "Do you even know why you are saying that?"

His words stung her more than a physical slap would have done. She made an effort not to let her shock and hurt show on her face. She managed, "What do you mean?"

"You are intelligent person," he said. "You know what it means to be sorry. Why are you sorry Morin is dead?"

"Because…" Elizabeth began.

She realized she truly couldn't give an answer. Of course she was saddened in the abstract way people were at the death of a stranger, but the only real effect Morin's passing had on her was that she now had to deal with the aftermath of it. She would have to speak with Carson and Dr. Biro about the autopsy. She would have to decide what was to be done with the old scientist's remains. She would have to determine what would happen to Shadow, now that the man who'd claimed to be her father was dead.

Radek finally looked up at her, and his gaze was so penetrating she felt as though he might be trying to look right inside her mind.

"Do you know why I am sorry?" he said.

"No, I don't."

"Dr. Morin was kindred spirit. Have you ever met someone like this? Someone who is your friend the moment you meet them?"

"No," Elizabeth said.

"He trusted me. He barely knew me, but he trusted me with the most important thing in the universe to him."

"What was that?"

"Shadow," Radek said. "His daughter. He wanted me to take care of her."

"Radek, have you thought about that? Have you considered how much responsibility—"

"Do not lecture me. You don't understand."

"Help me understand," Elizabeth said.

"He didn't want me only to look after her," Radek said. "He told me…now Shadow is _my_ daughter."

Elizabeth didn't know what to say. A dozen responses leapt into her mind that ran the spectrum from consternation to disbelief. One part of her wanted to lecture him about accepting obligations he was not prepared for and hadn't given enough thought to, but another voice inside her was equally insistent that she should just walk away, leave him alone until he gained a bit of perspective. In the end, a lecture would probably be pointless and would provoke an argument anyway. There would be time to discuss all of this later. When Radek was a little less upset, they could sit down and calmly, rationally decide what was to be done about Shadow.

"I'm going to see Carson," Elizabeth said.

"About what?"

"Will you be in your lab, later?"

"I go where Rodney asks me to go. Maybe I will be working on 'jumpers or long-range sensors," Radek said. "Call me if you want to find me. Don't sneak up on me like ghost. I don't like that."

"I'm sorry."

Radek smiled thinly, "So you have already said."

"We'll talk later," Elizabeth said.

She reached out to touch him again, and this time he actually pulled away from her. He turned his gaze down toward his coffee.

"Perhaps, yes," he said. "If there is anything more to say, perhaps we will talk later."

-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-

Carson Beckett leaned against the balcony railing and watched the sun rise bright and beautiful over the Atlantean ocean. The stars and planets never stopped to mourn, Carson thought. The colossal machine that was the universe went on spinning and turning despite tragedies both small and great. Carson was glad for that. The universe was constant. The sun rose and set on Atlantis the same way Sol rose and set on Earth. The greater constancy of those heavenly bodies made up for the turmoil that happened in the relative microcosm that was a civilization on a planet. The universe itself made sense, even if the beings inhabiting it did not.

Carson felt weary. He was not tired in the sense that he needed sleep, because he'd actually been able to get some rest in the quiet hours just before dawn. His weariness was more an ailment of the mind, or perhaps of the soul.

Once again, he'd witnessed death. The man who'd been Kadan Morin had ceased to be.

The old scientist had died with his hand securely held by a man who had called him a friend, a man who'd refused to leave him in his last hour even though there was no real reason to stay. Carson remembered how everything had looked and sounded. He pictured Radek sitting beside the dying old man, talking quietly to him in a comforting voice that flowed like water over smooth stones.

Morin's passing had been peaceful. He had been calm and he hadn't been in a lot of pain. Carson was thankful for those small mercies.

Carson stayed outside until the sun had risen fully above the horizon and had changed the morning sky from multicoloured pink and gold to a soft blue. The day would be warm and lovely. Carson thought he could have spent hours just admiring and enjoying it, but like the planets that never paused in their motion, Carson had tasks that he could not put on hold to satisfy a flight of emotional fancy.

He went inside and returned to the Infirmary. He needed to consult with Dr. Biro about examining Morin's body, but it would be at least another hour before she arrived for her shift.

Carson decided he would check on Shadow, first. She had been improving slowly but steadily, and Carson was a lot more confident about her prognosis than he'd been yesterday. Itzhak, perennial optimist that he was, seemed convinced the immune-enhancing drugs were having a significant positive effect. Shadow was nowhere near perfect health, but she no longer seemed to be in an imminently life-threatening condition, either. Carson, unlike his colleague, thought it best to be cautiously optimistic.

As Carson passed by his office on his way through the Infirmary, he thought he noticed someone in there. He'd told Itzhak it was okay to work in there with his laptop last night, but surely the man wasn't still there? Carson stopped at the door and peered inside.

He almost laughed out loud when he saw that his friend was, in fact, still there. Itzhak was slumped over the desk with his head resting on one forearm. Beside him, his computer was still on, Ancient text displayed on its screen. Carson stepped in the room and over to the desk. He rested a palm on his friend's shoulder.

"Itzhak, wake up."

The Israeli doctor moaned and mumbled something that sounded like, "Go 'way. Sleeping."

"No sleeping on the job, son," Carson said, and jostled him gently. "Wake up, now. This isn't the time or place to take a nap."

Itzhak groaned. He raised his head from his bent arm and winced. "_Ow_…damn…stiff neck," he said. Then, more coherently, "Morning, boss."

"Good morning," Carson said. He couldn't quite suppress his smile at Itzhak's scruffy appearance. "Have you been working here all night?"

Itzhak yawned and rubbed his hands briskly over his face. He gave Carson a rueful grin. "I was working up until the point when my head introduced itself to my keyboard," he said.

"Dare I ask when that was?"

"I'd say about an hour ago," Itzhak said, as he peered at his watch.

Carson shook his head. "What in the world were you doing that kept you awake all night?"

"Research."

"On what?"

"Remember the data Dr. McKay gave us from the tablet device? These are Morin's lab notes. I'm trying to find—" Itzhak's words were interrupted by an extravagant yawn which he didn't bother attempting to conceal behind his hand. "Damn. Sorry. Morin's three other kids died because they had the same immune deficiency as Shadow. I'm trying to find out what's different about—"

"Wait," Carson said. "Morin had _other_ children?"

"Didn't you know? I thought the senior staff members were kept informed about things like that. Don't tell me nobody mentioned it at the post-mission briefing."

"I wasn't at the briefing," Carson said. "I was here. When Dr. Weir came to speak with me, she didn't mention anything about any children."

Itzhak's face scrunched up in a puzzled frown. He waved vaguely at his laptop screen. "That's odd," he said. "Apparently, Morin put all three of them in stasis to preserve their bodies. I don't know why the team wouldn't have encountered them. Of course, I'm assuming all the stasis pods, including Morin's, were in the same place. I suppose I could be wrong about that."

"Not necessarily. Just because nobody mentioned the children to us, that doesn't mean the team didn't find them," said Carson. "Dr. Weir told me what I needed to know at the time. To be honest, I've been a wee bit too preoccupied to inquire about any mission details that didn't have to do with Morin himself."

"That's understandable."

"You said the other three children died because of an immune deficiency."

"Apparently, it was a genetic flaw Morin couldn't correct," Itzhak said. "Two little girls and a boy all died from what were evidently common childhood illnesses. Kadan – the little boy – lived the longest. He was nearly three. From what I can tell, Morin never did figure out how to correct the genetic flaw, but he was working on some kind of immune therapy by the time he'd created Shadow. I see lots of references to it, but I can't find anything specific."

"He must've recorded what he was doing when he was developing the therapy."

"I'm sure he did, but I don't think it's in this file. This one seems to be a journal he was keeping about his children."

"His genetically engineered children," Carson said. "Seems a bit grotesque, doesn't it?"

"It is a little scary, especially when you understand why he was doing it," said Itzhak.

"What do you mean?"

"He was trying to create a child with as much genetic potential as the Ancients."

Carson couldn't help staring at his colleague. "Excuse me?"

Itzhak turned back to his computer and closed the file he'd been reading. He clicked on another filename, and the screen instantly displayed a page of Ancient text with an English translation running down the right-hand side. He said, "This file seems to be Morin's personal journal."

"You read the man's journal?"

"It's hardly a violation of his privacy now, Carson," Itzhak said, though he did look more than a little contrite about having read Morin's private writings. "Look here. Morin might have been the one doing the work, but it certainly wasn't his idea to genetically engineer children with the Ancient gene. He talks about a woman named Danai, who has what he refers to as The Knowledge."

"Shadow talked about The Knowledge," Carson said. "Dr. Weir and I guessed she might've been referring to the gene."

"I'd say that's a pretty good guess," said Itzhak.

"Evidently, she told Dr. Weir her grandmother had The Knowledge, too."

"That's _very_ interesting. You know what I think?"

"What do you think?"

"I think that if we read a little further in Morin's journal, we'd probably learn Shadow and her brother and sisters were created using DNA from both Morin and this woman named Danai. Know what else I think?"

"Tell me."

"I think Danai was an Ancient."

**TBC  
--------------------**  
_Jaký pocínovat jářku?_ – What can I say?

**A/N #2 –** I promise I won't keep you all waiting as long for the next bit of the story as I did for this one. Real Life has been especially hectic this week, what with my Dad's upcoming surgery and the arrival of my puppy and everything else that's been going on around here. Yes…yay…Grace is finally here! We picked her up at the airport yesterday. She's such a doll :) She's still not too sure how she feels about the cat, but I think whatever she's feeling, it's mutual. The cat still owns the house, but Grace appears to have the upper hand (paw?) in the yard. lol! Anyhooo…I hope you all have a fabulous weekend!


	29. Living And Learning

**DISCLAIMER – **_Stargate: Atlantis_ is the intellectual property of MGM/UA and associates. I am receiving no compensation or profit from the creation of this story. This is a work of fan fiction, created solely for personal enjoyment.

Shadow and Dr. Itzhak Perlman are my original characters. If you want to use them, ask me. I will most likely say yes.

**RATING – **This story is rated **T**

**ARCHIVE – **Feel free to archive this. Please let me know where you're archiving it, though. Thanks!

**A/N – **Thank you all so much for the wonderful responses to the last chapter. As always, I look forward to the comments and reviews, and I appreciate each and every one of them. You all encourage me very much. Thank you!

This is a note for **flubber **– in case you haven't been getting my PMs (I sent you 3 already), the answer to your question is **YES**. Please feel free to use the chess set in your McWeir fic. I would be honoured and pleased if you did! (I did dedicate it to you, after all!)

Alrighty then, here's Chapter 29 for you. We're getting close to the end of this story, now… only a few more chapters to go. I hope you've all enjoyed reading it as much as I have enjoyed writing it. The next few updates might be a bit longer in coming, as Real Life is quite hectic at the moment, so please bear with me. Thanks!

Any blocks of text written in present tense and _italicized_ are flashback scenes.

I have no beta. If you find any mistakes, blame them on me.

* * *

**The Song Of Silent Rivers**

**29. Living And Learning**

"This is incredible," Rodney McKay declared.

Rodney had been making similar statements periodically all morning, though it was with this last utterance he remembered that he was alone in the lab. Of course he'd _known_ he was by himself all along, but sometimes he became so absorbed in his work that he tended to tune out his environment to the exclusion of everything but himself and his current project.

Rodney reflected that the person he most often shared the lab with also seemed to have the gift of being able to lose himself completely in what he was doing. Sometimes, Rodney and Radek could work in the same room together for hours and never say a word to each other, talking to themselves or the machines, and never really expecting a reply. The instances in which they were most likely to have a conversation in the lab were when somebody made a really fascinating breakthrough or if one of them ran into a problem. It was good to have a colleague around at times like that, because another person could be an excellent sounding-board for ideas and theories.

Rodney was not above wishing Radek was with him in the lab right now. He guessed the little Czech would have more than a few opinions about Rodney's latest discovery. Thanks to the information from the tablet device they'd found on M4X-382, Rodney was that much closer to truly understanding how the cloaking devices in the 'jumpers worked. He was curious to know the similarities and differences between the 'jumper cloak and the personal cloaking device in Shadow's necklace, though he was doubtful that Radek would agree to let him experiment with the girl's Ancient jewellery.

Rodney was so caught up that he failed to notice someone else entering the lab until the person was only a few metres from his work table. Rodney didn't look up to see who it was. Assuming it was Radek at long last, he said, "It's about time you got here."

A puzzled voice with a hint of an accent that was not Czech replied, "I didn't know you were expecting me, Dr. McKay."

Forced to identify the newcomer, Rodney pulled his gaze away from his laptop. He wasn't sure whether he should be disappointed or annoyed when he saw who it was. Dr. Itzhak Perlman had his own laptop tucked under his arm. The Israeli doctor looked as though he hadn't slept in a week and hadn't combed his hair in a month. It was irritating, how blithe the man seemed, despite his frazzled appearance.

"Oh, Perlman, it's you," Rodney said. "Decided to leave the witchdoctor's hut for a while, I see."

"Yeah, I got tired of sticking pins into all my dolls," Itzhak said archly. He placed his laptop on Rodney's work table. "Where's Radek?"

"How should I know? He hasn't bothered to drag his lazy butt in here, yet. He's probably haunting the Infirmary."

"I just came from there. I didn't see him."

"Why do you want him?"

"I need to ask him a question," Itzhak said.

"You can ask me. I'm more qualified to answer it than he is, anyway."

"I don't think so. It's a question only Radek can answer."

Rodney snorted derisively. "Oh, please! Nobody's more technically competent than I am."

"I'm not the least bit in doubt of your unparalleled genius, Dr. McKay," Itzhak said. "This just isn't a technical question."

"Oh," Rodney said. "Well, in that case, I can't help you. Now, go away and let me work."

"What are you working on?"

Rodney heaved a sigh of frustration. "What part of 'go away' do you not understand? If you insist on asking, I'm learning everything I ever wanted to know about Ancient cloaking technology."

"Did you get the information from Morin's device?"

"It's not Morin's device," Rodney said. "He was just borrowing it."

"What?"

"It belonged to an Ancient named Danai."

"You _know_ about her?" Itzhak said incredulously.

Rodney, equally incredulous, couldn't help staring at the doctor. "_You_ know about her?"

"You didn't happen to read Morin's personal journal, did you?" Itzhak said.

"Maybe I did," Rodney said. "Why do you ask?"

"Look, I read some of it, too, so there's no point in being coy. That's how I know about Danai. Do you know for certain that she was an Ancient, or are you just speculating, like I was?"

"She was an Ancient," Rodney said. "Apparently she wasn't very popular with her Ascended peers. She broke more than a few rules in the Ascended Beings Handbook."

"Care to elaborate?"

"Ascended beings aren't supposed to interfere with the affairs of mere mortals, but evidently, Danai wasn't willing to hang around and let the Wraith have their way with this galaxy. According to what Morin wrote about her, she returned to this plane of existence and reassumed human form. Her big goal in life was to create new humans with the Ancient gene, presumably to help fight the Wraith."

"Let me guess. She didn't have the skills to do it herself, so that's where Morin fit into the plan."

"Good guess. Morin was already conducting human genetic research on his homeworld which, incidentally, was not M4X-382."

"I think I figured that much out for myself," Itzhak said.

"Right. Of course you did. Anyway, this might've been the ego talking, but apparently Morin was one of the leading geneticists on his world. The best in the entire galaxy, probably."

"Which would make him a natural choice from Danai's point of view," said Itzhak. "Have you told anyone else about this?"

"No."

"Well, I think you should talk to Dr. Weir. This is the sort of thing she'd want to know."

"You read Morin's journal. Did you talk to Elizabeth about it?"

"No, because I didn't read enough of it to learn anything useful. I was more interested in Morin's lab notes. He was working on some kind of immune therapy. I found lots of references, but I wasn't able to find the actual notes on the formula itself. You didn't happen to see anything about an immune therapy, did you?"

Rodney pondered for a moment. He'd skipped over most of the medical references in Morin's writing because he hadn't been terribly interested in them and wouldn't have understood most of them anyway, but he did recall seeing something about immunity. He realized that fact only stuck in his mind because he'd been thinking about the annoying tickle in the back of his throat at the time, and he'd been worried his cold was relapsing.

He tapped at his keyboard, reopening the file in which he remembered seeing the reference. He could feel the Israeli doctor's gaze on him. It was disconcerting, being watched so closely.

"Do you mind?" he snapped.

"I'm trying to see what you're doing."

"You'll see in a second. Stop breathing down my neck," Rodney said. "You're more annoying than Kavanagh. Here, is this the file you're looking for?"

Itzhak leaned so far over Rodney's shoulder that he was practically touching him. Rodney shuddered at the invasion of his personal space, but didn't move because there was nowhere to go. Itzhak studied the file for a few minutes, during which Rodney tried not to scream at him for being too close.

At last, Itzhak straightened up. "My God…it's right there," he said. He sounded a little breathless. "I searched all night for that."

"If you want anything done, ask an expert," Rodney said.

"Right," said Itzhak. "We need to show this to Dr. Beckett."

-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-

"Radek! You're the guy I've been looking for!"

Radek looked up in surprise at hearing his name. Itzhak was literally jogging down the corridor toward him, coming from the direction of Rodney's lab. The Israeli doctor had his laptop tucked in the crook of his arm. He waved at Radek with his free hand.

Radek had been on his way to the lab, himself, via the most circuitous route he could think of. It wasn't that he didn't wish to go to work. He only wanted to take some time to settle down after his run-in with Elizabeth. Feeling agitated and upset while occupying the same room as Rodney McKay never produced good results. Besides, if he looked the least bit out-of-sorts when he arrived, Rodney would ask him what was wrong. Radek really didn't care to explain his personal issues to Rodney McKay, of all people.

Glad for the presence of someone who didn't make him feel uneasy, Radek greeted his friend, "Good morning, Itzhak. What's going on?"

"You'd be amazed to know what's going on," Itzhak said, and somehow managed to gesture expansively while still hanging onto his computer. "I'll tell you all about it in a minute. You wouldn't happen to know where Dr. Weir is, would you?"

"No," Radek said.

"I know you often have breakfast with her, so I thought maybe you'd seen—"

"I did not have breakfast with Dr. Weir and I don't know where she is," Radek said. "She is last person I want to see right now."

"Okay…" Itzhak raised his eyebrows. "That can't be a good sign. What happened, dare I ask?"

"We have philosophical differences."

"You and Dr. Weir have philosophical differences. Why do I get the feeling that's a clever way of saying you had an argument?"

"Because we did have an argument," Radek said.

"About what?"

"I would rather not discuss it, Itzhak."

"Ah…I see. It was _that_ kind of argument. Want some free advice?"

'No."

"Too bad for you," Itzhak said. "You know, the thing about free advice is that it's usually unsolicited, too. Whether you want it or not, here it is. If you have some kind of argument with your significant other, you need to get it resolved. Trust me, you don't want to let it go on too long, or things could get pretty awful. I can tell you that from personal experience."

"Thank you, but the advice is irrelevant, because Elizabeth is not my 'significant other'."

"Right. Of course not," Itzhak said. "I guess I've been out of circulation for too long. What exactly do people call their significant others these days?"

"I would not know," Radek said. "Please, I don't want to talk about this. You were going to tell me what's happening. Why were you looking for me?"

"I wanted to ask you something, but it's not important, now. Dr. McKay had all the answers I needed."

_That figures_, Radek thought. Rodney always seemed to have all the answers everyone needed. Radek stuck his hands in his pockets and cast his gaze downward. "This does not surprise me."

"No, Radek, that's not what I meant," Itzhak said hastily. "I spent the whole night looking through Morin's lab notes from the tablet device, trying to find something about an immune therapy he'd been working on. I wanted to ask you if he'd said anything to you about it. Anyway, I went to the lab, looking for you. Dr. McKay was there, and when I told him what I was doing, he helped me find the file."

"Morin did tell me about the immune therapy," Radek said. A second later, the impact of what Itzhak had actually said began to sink in. "Wait…Rodney _found_ it?"

"Yes, he did."

"_Rodney_ found it."

"Yes," Itzhak said. He laughed. "You seem shocked."

"I did not realize Rodney even knew about it."

"Well, he didn't, really. He was studying about cloaking 'jumpers, or something like that. You know, all that technical stuff just flies right over my head. Anyway, he inadvertently discovered exactly what I'd been looking for."

"This is excellent," Radek said. All of a sudden, the hurt and resentment over his argument with Elizabeth faded into the background of his thoughts. His mind immediately turned to Shadow and the potential help Morin's treatment represented for her. "Itzhak, have you told Carson about this, yet?"

"I'm on my way back to the Infirmary, now," Itzhak said. "You can come with me, if you want to. I don't think Dr. McKay is going to miss you. He was pretty involved in all that invisibility stuff."

"This 'invisibility stuff' could be important to our survival some day. I'd like to study it, too," Radek said. "I think I will come with you right now, though. I want to see Shadow."

"She'll want to see you, too, I bet," Itzhak said. "I think she's getting annoyed with all of us medical types. Every time I went into her room last night and she was awake, she kept giving me the look."

"What look is that?" Radek asked, puzzled.

"You know, _the_ look," said Itzhak. "The one that says, 'I don't want to see _you_. You're not my daddy'."

"Oh."

"Carson told me what happened last night with you and Morin," Itzhak said. "As far as I'm concerned, that only confirms what you and Shadow already knew. I think if she hadn't believed her real father was already lost to her, she would never have followed you through the the Stargate. She started thinking of you as her guardian long before last night."

-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-

"_Look at him, Radek. Isn't he amazing?"_

_Mirek flattens his palms against the glass and peers through the nursery window at his newborn son. Radek isn't looking at the baby. He's watching his brother-in-law, his curiosity undisguised. He's never seen Mirek with this sort of expression on his face before. In fact, he's never seen anyone so utterly enraptured by the sight of another human being. _

_For his part, Radek doesn't really think his brand-new nephew is particularly amazing. His fascination with the science of life is dimmed by the prosaic reality that it's his sister who's just given birth. The idea makes him a little squeamish. He wonders how Mirek was able to watch Milena going through all that. Radek feels uncomfortable just thinking about it. _

_To distract himself, he asks, "Have you decided on his name?"_

"_Zdeněk," Mirek says. "Milena wanted to name him Josef, but ever since our army training I can never hear that name without thinking about Captain Vojacek. Scary, isn't it?" _

"_You and the captain weren't exactly best friends." _

_Mirek laughs. "I wasn't exactly best friends with anybody in our company during basic training," he says. His expression sobers again as he adds, "Except you, that is. I never told you how grateful I was that you were there." _

"_The feeling was mutual. I don't think I would have survived alone." _

"_Sure you would have. You're a better man than you give yourself credit for. I mean, look at you. You've got a doctorate and you've been all over the world. You're a smart guy and everybody likes you. You've got everything going for you." _

"_You've got a lot going for you, too. It's just different stuff." _

"_Yeah," Mirek says. _

"_Earning a doctorate and going to America doesn't make anybody great, Mir," says Radek. "Uncle Jaromir always says greatness starts on the inside and works its way out. I believe that. Being a great person isn't about what you do, it's about who you are." _

"_Wise man, your uncle."_

"_Yes, he is," Radek agrees._

_Mirek gazes at baby Zdeněk again. The same as before, his face softens into an expression of pleasure, but this time Radek notices something else in his brother-in-law's demeanour. There's another emotion underlying Mirek's delight in his new son._

"_Radek," Mirek says. "Remember in basic training, when I told you I was scared? You didn't laugh at me like I thought you were going to. You told me it was okay." _

"_I remember." _

"_I'm scared now." _

"_Why?"_

"_This isn't the army. There are no rules and nobody's going to tell me what to do. How am I supposed to be a parent when I don't have a clue about what I'm doing?" _

"_I don't know," Radek tells him honestly. _

"_I can't even explain how I feel right now. I mean, I'm happy. I'm _really_ happy, but I'm scared to death at the same time. Does that make any sense?"_

"_I'm not sure." _

"_Do you think other people feel like this?"_

"_I don't know, Mir. Maybe you need to talk to somebody who already has children," Radek says, "Seriously, I'm the last person who can help you. The likelihood of me becoming a parent is pretty remote." _

"_You think?"_

"_I know." _

"_There are no absolutes, remember?" Mirek says. "Some day, you'll be a daddy."_

_Radek can't stifle the abrupt snort of laughter that escapes him. "Daddy," he repeats. "I can't picture that." _

"_I bet nobody pictured me as one, either. Career soldier, ace pilot, daredevil stuntman _extraordinaire…_but not 'daddy'. You know, you might be surprised what the future's got waiting for you."_

"_Maybe." _

"_Well, when it happens, I promise I'll be around. I might actually know what I'm talking about by then, and I'd be only too glad to help."_

-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-

"What are we going to do about Shadow?"

Carson sat up a little straighter in his desk chair and peered at Elizabeth who was seated in another chair nearby. She had come to his office a while ago, wanting to discuss the situation with Morin. Carson had just got finished explaining Dr. Biro would be performing an autopsy on the old scientist. Though they already knew the cause of his death, the opportunity to study the effect the stasis pod had on the body was one Carolyn Biro was not willing to pass over. Carson couldn't blame her. As morbid as it seemed, he was curious, too. He realized Elizabeth wasn't interested in the scientific details of the post-mortem. She only wanted to know about it for administrative reasons.

He supposed that was the same reason she was asking him about Shadow, now. He was certain Elizabeth cared about what happened to Shadow – she was not, after all, a heartless or callous person – but he suspected Elizabeth's need to know was doubtless based more on logistics than on her concern for the deaf woman's welfare.

"I should think it'd be obvious," he said. "Shadow is going to be in the Infirmary until she's well."

"And after that?"

"Well, I should think that'd be obvious, too," said Carson. "She's going to stay with us in Atlantis. Have you spoken with Radek since last night?"

Elizabeth's lips thinned as she pressed them together in a momentary frown. "Dr. Zelenka and I spoke this morning," she said.

Carson didn't miss the fact that Elizabeth did not refer to Radek by his given name. By the tone of Elizabeth's voice, Carson guessed Radek and Elizabeth hadn't shared their usual intimate chat over breakfast. He knew he'd never find out what really happened, because Elizabeth would certainly never tell him. She was doing her best to act as if nothing untoward was going on right now, though Carson was too good a judge of people's moods to know everything was not 'business as usual' between the expedition leader and the engineer.

Carson tried for an air of innocence, pretending not to have noticed Elizabeth's tight-lipped expression. "Did he mention anything to you about what happened with Morin?"

"He says Morin wanted him to take care of Shadow."

"That's right."

"That concerns me."

"Why should it?"

"I don't think Dr. Zelenka understands how much responsibility he'd be assuming. This isn't the sort of decision people should make lightly," Elizabeth said. "You told me yourself, Shadow is mentally and emotionally equivalent to a ten-year-old. Do you think it's wise for somebody with no practical parenting experience to take on the care of a disabled ten-year-old?"

"Experience has nothing to do with it," Carson said. "How many new parents do you know that have wisdom and experience? At any rate, we'll all be here to help out. It's not as if he'll be looking after her all on his own."

"None of us have parenting experience, either."

"You and I don't, but there are people in Atlantis who do," Carson said. He couldn't resist a smile at the thought that suddenly popped into his head. "I even know someone who's the parent of two deaf children, and I'm sure he'd be honoured to help in any way he can."

"Who has two deaf children?"

"Itzhak Perlman."

Elizabeth seemed frankly surprised. "Really? I never knew that."

'He doesn't like to discuss his personal life."

'He sounds like somebody else I know," Elizabeth said. "How do you cope with somebody who never gives you a straight answer when you ask him what he's thinking?"

"Stop asking," Carson said. He softened the words with a smile. "Some people don't like the direct approach. I'm sure you already know that, but it's easy to forget all your professional knowledge when you're dealing with a personal situation. Sometimes people are frightened by too much forthrightness. You need to let a person like that come to you on his own, when he's ready."

"And if he never comes to me on his own…?"

"Then, perhaps you're not the one he trusts," Carson said.

The instant the words left his mouth, Carson wished he could pull them back in. Elizabeth's carefully controlled features crumpled into something Carson could only describe as distress. Without meaning to, he was sure he'd stumbled upon the essence of the disagreement she'd obviously had with Radek. Carson couldn't guess the details of the argument, but he didn't need to. Now, he understood it had been _very_ personal, and Elizabeth had been deeply hurt by it. Carson hadn't been aware Radek and Elizabeth's relationship was anything more than platonically friendly. _You learn something new every day,_ he said to himself.

The silence that descended on Carson's office was almost oppressive in its heaviness. Elizabeth stared abjectly at her hands for several seconds, during which Carson tried to look anywhere but at Elizabeth. He was supremely uncomfortable and he didn't know what to do. He'd never seen Elizabeth like this before.

He was rescued from the awkward situation by the timely interruption of somebody flinging open the door. Elizabeth jumped at the noise, and Carson flinched, too. He glanced quickly at Elizabeth, and saw that the arrival of someone new caused her to school her expression back to impassivity.

When Carson turned his eyes toward the door, he didn't know whether to laugh or cringe. He and Elizabeth had just been discussing Itzhak and Radek and now here they were, one dark and one fair, looking like an untidy yin and yang.

The two most habitually tousled men in Atlantis made for an unusual sight, standing shoulder-to-shoulder in the doorway. Itzhak was evidently immensely pleased with himself. Radek had seemed pleased too, but the moment he laid eyes on Elizabeth his expression shifted to something akin to dread. Carson was about to ask what was going on, but he didn't get a chance before his subordinate plunged right in with something that might've passed for an explanation.

"Carson!" Itzhak exclaimed. His keen gaze took in the entire room. "Dr. Weir. This is too convenient, discovering both of you in the same place. You're never going to believe what Dr. McKay found in—"

"Itzhak, weren't you supposed to have been going to your quarters when you left here?" Carson said.

"Probably, but I can't sleep now," said Itzhak, "On the way to my quarters, I stopped to talk to Dr. McKay. You have to see what he found."

**TBC  
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	30. Time And Space

**DISCLAIMER – **_Stargate: Atlantis_ is not mine. It is the intellectual property of MGM/UA and associates. I am making no profit from the creation of this story. I am doing this for fun and personal enjoyment. No copyright infringement is intended, so please don't sue.

The song "You Are My Sunshine" was written by Jimmie Davis and Charles Mitchell and is ©1940. It's not my intellectually property, either.

Shadow and Dr. Itzhak Perlman are my original characters. If you want to use them, all you have to do is ask. I rarely say no to requests like that.

**RATING – **This story is rated **T**

**ARCHIVE – **Feel free to archive this if you'd like, but please tell me where you're archiving it. Thanks.

**A/N – **Okay, first and foremost, I've come to the conclusion that people have not been receiving my PMs, so if you were expecting a little note or a reply from me, I have to extend my sincerest apologies to you. I don't know why I cannot send PMs but hopefully ff dot net will sort this out soon.

To **flubber – **In case you didn't see it last time, yes you can use the chess set in your story. I would be honoured!

To** NenyaVilyaNenya – **thanks a million once again for your insightful, thought-provoking and entirely consistent replies & reviews. I don't know if I have said this already, but you are a very helpful and encouraging reviewer. So THANKS!

Here's chapter 30 for you all. I'm rather pleased with how this turned out. Thanks to NenyaVilyaNenya for your suggestions. Enjoy!

I have no beta, so any mistakes are mine.

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**The Song Of Silent Rivers**

**30. Time And Space**

_If time flies when you're having fun, it creeps at a snail's pace when you're miserable._.

Elizabeth stared at the line she'd written in her journal. The past seven days might as well have been seven years, as interminable as they'd seemed to Elizabeth. She'd been doing her best to keep up the appearance that nothing was amiss, but by now she was afraid she wasn't doing a very good job of it any more. It had been exactly a week since Rodney had discovered Morin's immunotherapy, a week since Elizabeth had sat in Carson's office and discussed Morin's post-mortem, a week since she and Radek had that last serious conversation in the mess hall. She hadn't spoken to Radek since that morning, except on the occasions that their work brought them together. She knew he was doing his utmost to avoid her whenever possible, and when he had no choice but to interact with her, he was professional and almost formally polite.

Elizabeth was at a total loss to comprehend what had really happened that morning in the mess hall. She understood Radek was a private person and that he was shy and often apprehensive of strangers or unfamiliar situations, but that didn't explain his behaviour toward _her_. He had no reason to be afraid of her. She'd only been trying to help, because she cared about him and had been worried about him. He'd never turned away from her like this before, and it upset her that she couldn't figure out what had changed between them to cause such a barrier to come up.

She recalled what Carson had said when they'd talked in his office. _If he never comes to you on his own, then perhaps you're not the one he trusts_. Each time she thought about that, it made her throat constrict and the backs of her eyes prickle with imminent tears. She had taken for granted that Radek trusted her because he'd always behaved as though he did. Now, she wondered whether Carson had been right. Maybe Radek only told her things because she insisted upon it, not because he particularly wanted to. His refusal to talk to her in the mess hall seven days ago might have been a warning to her that she'd pushed too hard, gone too far in what she'd expected from him.

She wished she could turn back the days and begin that encounter again with the insight she had now. She'd do things differently, that much was certain. She would have tried to be gentler, less demanding. Their conversation might have gone better, and she wouldn't be sitting alone in her quarters right this minute, missing him.

Tonight they might've been playing chess. Her mind created an image of Radek lying on his belly on the floor, chin cupped in his hands, peering intently at the chess board. Elizabeth had laughed the first time he'd told her he liked to play on the floor. He liked to be on eye level with the board, because he said it gave him a sense of being _in_ the game. There was something childlike about that, Elizabeth thought, something entirely endearing. She couldn't even count how many times over the past two years she'd sat on the floor with him and played chess. He was the one who'd taught her the finer points of the game, patiently explaining strategies and occasionally letting her win.

If they weren't playing chess, they could've just been talking, or they might have been reading aloud to each other. Radek loved being read to. He'd told her as much, but even if he hadn't, it wouldn't have been difficult to guess. There was a kind of innocence in his delight at hearing a good story that Elizabeth rarely saw in other adults. He enjoyed telling stories, too, just as much as he took pleasure in hearing them. Elizabeth liked his ghost stories the best; the ones that had been passed down to him by his uncle, about the denizens that haunted the castles and streets of Prague.

Her room echoed with his absence, all the more poignantly for the lack of any evidence of him ever having been there at all. He'd left nothing of his in her quarters, not his jacket or one of his books or even a stray chess piece. She had nothing to see or touch and say _this belongs to him_. She would have been comforted by that, reassured that he'd eventually return. As the situation was, she was uncertain as to whether he'd even speak to her outside the context of work any more, much less visit her off-duty.

Unable to concentrate on her journal any longer, Elizabeth shut down her laptop computer. She carried it across the room and carefully placed it on her desk. She'd spent a lot of time staring at the laptop screen this week, not only in doing her usual paperwork but also in reading the information that had been stored on Kadan Morin's tablet device.

She'd learned from Rodney that the device wasn't really Morin's at all, but that it had belonged to an Ancient woman called Danai. After having read Morin's private writings, she'd seen the truth of that for herself, as well.

At first it had seemed strange to Elizabeth, reading someone else's diary. She'd felt like an interloper in Morin's private thoughts. The more she read, however, the deeper she'd been drawn into Kadan Morin's life, his world, She tried to picture him as he was when Danai had first come to him, a brilliant, idealistic young geneticist, instead of the frail old man who'd passed away in the Infirmary.

Kadan Morin had been one of the most gifted scientists on his planet, yet according to his own account of his life's events, he'd been feared by some of his colleagues and resented by others. His experiments with human genetic engineering had made him notorious in the scientific community and many people had expressed ethical concerns about the work he was doing.

After reading so much about Morin in his own words, Elizabeth felt she'd come to know him, and she was sure his intentions had been good. He'd written that he wanted his research to be used in curing genetic disabilities and diseases, but that his most cherished dream was to genetically engineer a complete human being. The reason for that was not mere scientific curiosity, Elizabeth had learned. Morin didn't want to create a human just to see if it could be done. His motivation had been deeply personal.

Elizabeth was not ashamed to admit she had cried when she read Morin's words about the death of his wife in a workplace accident. The woman's name was Kaya and she'd been a scientist too, an engineer. It was obvious Morin had loved her devotedly, and had taken her death very hard. His grief had been all the more profound because Kaya had been carrying their first child when she'd died.

Elizabeth could not even begin to comprehend Morin's feelings, but she thought she could see how he would choose to dull his heartache by immersing himself totally in his work. Elizabeth was prone to doing that sort of thing, herself; blocking her pain by making herself too busy to worry about it. Still, in the quiet moments, the hurt resurfaced.

She thought of Radek again and wondered if he was thinking about her. That was a silly notion, she realized, almost adolescent in quality, and she chided herself for it. Most likely, Radek was not thinking of her at all, or if he was, Elizabeth would surely not want to know the content of those thoughts. They would doubtless hurt her, and she didn't want that.

Picking up her jacket, she decided she needed to get out of her quarters. Perhaps she'd go to the Infirmary, look in on Shadow, and talk with Carson for a while. Carson and Itzhak had been studying the data on Morin's immunotherapy. Listening to the doctors explain their latest progress would give her something to think about that didn't directly involve her and that, she concluded, would be a very good thing right now.

-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-

"All I'm saying," said Ronon, "is that if you used a little common sense, you wouldn't get into so much trouble."

"They said the food was free!" Rodney said. "I was hungry."

"They said nobody wanted it, McKay. There's a big difference."

"Look on the bright side, Rodney. At least it did not contain citrus fruit," Teyla soothed, "You did not become _seriously_ ill. That is something else to be thankful for."

John was only half listening to the back and forth chatter of his teammates as they sat at their usual table in the mess hall and discussed the aftermath of their mission to M3X-949. They had returned from the planet earlier in the day. Rodney's upset stomach notwithstanding, the mission had been remarkably trouble-free, much to John's pleasure. It was nice to visit a world where the locals were willing to trade and where nobody was trying to kill you, drug you, hold you for ransom, or trick you into marrying the princess. More planets ought to be like that, John thought. A guy could go to M3X-949 for a nice little vacation.

John could think of a few people who needed some shore leave on a quiet planet. Radek Zelenka topped that list, John decided. For the past week, John had watched the little Czech going about the city like a man who'd lost his best friend. He still did his work and interacted with people, and John got the impression he was trying hard to hide whatever was bothering him. He just wasn't doing a very good job of it.

John could make a pretty good guess about what was upsetting Radek. Contrary to popular opinion, it was not all the business with Morin and Shadow and the information from the Ancient tablet device that had him so depressed. Something had happened between Radek and Elizabeth on the morning after Morin's death, and John suspected that was the real cause of Radek's misery.

Elizabeth hadn't been herself lately, either, though she was better at covering it than Radek.

At the moment, John was watching the engineer in question, who was sitting by himself at a table in the corner. The tabletop in front of him was overspread with several large sheets of paper, probably some kind of blueprints or schematic drawings. Radek was always tinkering with machines and drawing pictures of their insides.

The last John had heard, Radek had been trying to sort out something to do with the cloaking devices on the 'jumpers. According to Rodney, the tablet from M4X-382 contained a wealth of information on cloaking technology that would keep Radek, Rodney and the other scientists going for weeks. Rodney had been excited about that. John had expected Radek to be more enthusiastic about it, too, but just now the engineer looked like a kid who'd been kept in detention after school and made to write lines on the blackboard. Radek must be feeling very bad indeed if he couldn't get any enjoyment out of studying his beloved 'jumpers.

The sound of Teyla's voice addressing him pulled John away from his own musings, and he was embarrassed to realize he hadn't actually heard the words she'd said.

He mumbled an awkward, "Huh…? What?"

"I said, what do you think, John?" Teyla repeated patiently.

"I think I should go over there and talk to him," John said.

"Go over _where_ and talk to me?" said Rodney. "I'm right here, Sheppard. Are you sure you didn't breathe some kind of hallucinogenic spores on that planet, or something?"

"I didn't mean you, McKay. I meant Radek."

Rodney sounded affronted. "We weren't talking about Radek. We were talking about _me_ and how those villagers tried to poison me with their leftovers. What does that have to do with Radek?"

"Nothing," John said. He shook his head. "Sorry. I guess I haven't been paying attention."

"No, really?" Rodney said. "I'm shocked."

"John, why do you need to talk to Dr. Zelenka?" Teyla asked.

"I don't need to," said John. "I just think I should. I'm kind of worried about him."

"Why are you worried about him? He wasn't the one who got food poisoning!" Rodney exclaimed. "Food poisoning is way more serious than some ridiculous lovers' quarrel. He'll get over whatever's bothering him, but I'll be emotionally scarred for life. I'll probably never be able to eat on an alien world again."

"I find that hard to believe," scoffed Ronon.

Teyla peered at Rodney quizzlcally. "Lovers' quarrel?"

"Come on. Don't tell me you don't know," Rodney said. "You are so behind the times, Teyla. I thought everybody in Atlantis knew."

"I do not."

"Well, you obviously don't listen to the news."

"If by 'news' you are referring to the many unsubstantiated rumours about Dr. Zelenka and Dr. Weir—"

"All right, you guys can just…sort this out among yourselves," John said, certain that another squabble was about to break out. He gestured across the room to where Radek was sitting. "I'm going over there. Try not to get too out-of-control while I'm gone, okay?"

"That an order?" Ronon inquired laconically.

Rodney snorted. Teyla sighed.

"Play nice," John said.

"Nicely," Rodney corrected him. "Play _nicely_. 'Nice' is an adjective, not an adverb."

John had absolutely no reply for that, so he simply got up from his chair, left his teammates and wandered across the large room.

If Radek noticed John approaching, he gave no indication of it and went right on doing whatever he'd been doing. John watched Radek make a note on the schematic drawing in front of him. His handwriting was very telling; small and huddled in on itself as if the letters needed to cling together for protection.

"Hey, Radek," John said.

The engineer glanced up at him briefly. "Colonel," Radek acknowledged.

"Mind if I join you?"

"If you like to watch me work, go ahead," Radek said.

"Actually," John said. "I thought we could have a chat."

-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-

_This cannot possibly be good_, Radek thought as he watched John Sheppard pull out the chair across the table from him and sprawl casually in it. Radek was immediately wary. Anyone who approached another person like that and announced he'd like to have a chat never wanted to talk about work or common interests. Radek went right on studying the 'jumper schematics spread out on the table in front of him and did his best to pretend the colonel wasn't there. He did not want to 'chat' with John Sheppard, especially since he had a fairly good idea as to what John wanted to talk about.

Doubtless John was trying to find out what had happened between Radek and Elizabeth. To Radek, it seemed that was all anyone wanted to find out this week. He realized people were gossiping about them, but there was nothing he could do to stop that. The last thing he wanted was to add grist to the rumour mill by discussing the situation himself. His disagreement with Elizabeth had been between the two of them and no one else. He could not fathom how all of Atlantis considered it their business, too.

For his part, Radek had been trying hard not to think about the argument. He didn't want to think about Elizabeth at all, because thoughts of her made him alternate between resentment and longing. He didn't know which feeling hurt more. He missed their frequent, totally contrived 'breakfast meetings' and he missed surreptitiously holding hands with her while they watched the sun set. He missed her laugh, her cute American accent, and her comforting smile. He missed _her._ The problem was that he couldn't get past the dichotomy of their relationship. The private half, though not intimate, was wonderfully affectionate, but it was marred by the reality of the professional half.

Sometimes, Radek found it impossible to let his guard down completely in Elizabeth's presence, because he could not tell whether she was playing the role of leader or friend. She had a tendency to blur those lines when it was convenient for her to do so. Radek didn't have that luxury. He felt as though he had very little power over either aspect of their relationship, and it was that disadvantage he resented the most.

He supposed it was apprehension that kept him from telling Elizabeth everything he was thinking and feeling right now. He wasn't sure how she'd react to it, and the last thing he wanted was to get into another argument with her. He genuinely regretted the way he'd conducted himself the last time they'd really talked. He desperately wanted to tell her that he was sorry, but she'd been so unapproachable lately that his insides twisted with anxiety at the mere idea of initiating any sort of conversation with her.

The colonel across the table cleared his throat in a deliberate fashion, reminding Radek he was supposed to be chatting with the man.

"So," John said. "What's up?"

"Nothing," said Radek. "I'm working."

"Putting in a bit of overtime, huh?"

"What else is there to do?"

"I don't know," John said. "Usually, you don't have trouble finding recreational things to do in the evenings."

"You are as subtle as brick, Colonel. In any case, my recreation is not your concern."

"Maybe not, but I have other concerns."

"Hmm…" Radek said. He dropped his gaze back to the table and shuffled the papers in front of him. He pulled a drawing from the middle of the small pile and spread it flat with his palms. "Can't you see I'm busy now? I really don't want to talk."

"People are going to get the impression you're antisocial."

"People jump to many conclusions that are not true," Radek said, and added, "That is how rumours get started."

"Know how to stop a rumour?"

"They never stop."

"Sure they do," John said. "The best way to stop a rumour is with the truth."

Radek couldn't entirely keep the cynicism from his tone. "And what would you like to know the truth about? Which rumours would you like to stop?"

"You know, sarcasm doesn't become you, Radek. That's more McKay's thing," said John. "To be perfectly honest, I don't pay a whole lot of attention to most of the rumours around here. I'm just worried about my friends."

"Which friends are those?"

"You and Elizabeth."

"I suppose the purpose of this 'chat' is for you to learn what Elizabeth and I argued about."

"No," John said. "It doesn't matter to me what you argued about. What I want to know is why the two of you aren't trying to _fix_ it. I mean, you're obviously miserable, and Elizabeth— Well, let's just say she's doing a damn good job of hiding her feelings, but I know her too well for her to be able to fool me for long."

"This is really not your business."

"I only want to help."

Radek sighed. "Colonel, you cannot help. There's nothing you can do."

"I can give you some advice."

"Everyone wants to do this. I don't need any more advice. I've gotten advice from too many people already."

"Has any of it made sense?"

"I suppose, yes. Some of it."

"Then why haven't you been following it?"

"Colonel—"

"You know I'm really bad at all this personal stuff, but I'm pretty sure it's a lousy idea to ignore your problems in the hope that they'll go away. We all have to work together, here. Do you understand what I'm trying to say?"

"Not really, no."

"Okay, look, what I'm saying is that I think you have to talk to Elizabeth," John said. "You don't have to discuss what happened, at least not right off the bat."

"If we don't talk about what happened, what is the point?"

"The point is that you'll be _talking_ to her, which is more than you've been doing lately. Just pick some common ground and have a chat. You'll get around to the important stuff eventually."

"How am I supposed to speak with her if she doesn't want to speak with me?"

"Who says she doesn't want to?" John said.

The colonel grinned in a way that made Radek think John knew something he himself did not. Radek never liked it when people smiled at him that way. It always left him with the impression that the wearer of the smile had been meddling. True, people were generally well-meaning, but more often than not, people's good intentions paved the way to some very unpleasant places.

Still, John's idea had a kind of rationality about it. Radek decided he should, as Elizabeth often said, take the suggestion under advisement.

-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-

_Can we do this?_

That was the question Itzhak had asked Carson a week ago, on the morning after they'd discovered the notes on Morin's immunotherapy. That day, looking at the information on the treatment Morin had been developing. Carson hadn't been able to answer Itzhak's question. Now, after studying Morin's files in detail and analyzing Shadow's blood and tissue samples thoroughly, Carson was closer to an answer that satisfied both Itzhak and himself. It would take time, but Carson was certain they could duplicate Morin's work.

Meanwhile, their more conventional, Earth-derived immunotherapy had produced results that set Carson's mind at rest and put an enormous grin on Itzhak's face every time he mentioned it. Shadow had continued to improve over the past several days to the point where she was once again breathing without the aid of a ventilator and was able to take fluids by mouth. Her fever was persistent, but it was low-grade and no longer dangerous.

Encouraged by Shadow's progress, Itzhak decided it would be safe to remove her from the isolated room. Carson was still worried about impeding her recovery by letting her be exposed to more harmful pathogens, but he had agreed to allow Shadow to be moved to a regular spot in the Infirmary. The condition Carson insisted upon, however, was that the number of people who had contact with Shadow should be kept to a minimum. Itzhak had said, under the circumstances, that idea made very good sense.

They'd opted to move Shadow to her new bed this evening. Carson knew they probably could have waited till morning, but generally speaking, the Infirmary was quieter and less hectic at night. The less commotion Shadow had to cope with, the better it would be for her. The noise wouldn't have bothered her, of course, but the flurry of daytime activity might have, and Carson knew from previous experience that Shadow could be easily frightened.

Shadow was disoriented and distressed when she left the isolated room. Despite Itzhak and Carson's best efforts to explain where they were taking her, she seemed unable to grasp what they were trying to tell her. Carson supposed their failure to communicate was mostly due to the fact that Shadow was too confused to read what Itzhak had written. Not for the first time, he wished there was some other way they could converse with the deaf woman.

When he mentioned that to Itzhak, the Israeli doctor grinned at him.

"Of course," Itzhak said. "Maybe there is another way to communicate with her. I don't know why I didn't think of it sooner."

"You know of another way?"

"I wonder if anyone on her world ever tried to teach her some form of sign language."

"If anyone did, it would probably be a form that's unfamiliar to us," Carson said.

"I know, but that doesn't exclude the possibility of her learning a form that _is_ familiar to us, or of us learning a form that's familiar to her."

"It'd take time."

"Naturally, it would. I think the benefits would outweigh the disadvantages, though, don't you? It'd be much easier for her if she didn't have to rely on reading and writing everything all the time."

"That doesn't solve our immediate problem, though, does it?" said Carson. He gazed at Shadow, who was hunkered down beneath her blankets and looking like a lost, terrified child. "Perhaps it wasn't so brilliant an idea, moving her to a different bed."

"She'll be okay," Itzhak said. "One of us should probably stay with her for a while, but I think everything will be fine once she settles down."

"I'll take care of her," Carson said. "You need to take care of yourself. When was the last time you took a few hours off to do something other than eat and sleep?"

Itzhak swept his fingers through his untidy hair and looked sheepish. "You know, I can't remember," he said. "This is a sign of my being a serious workaholic, isn't it?"

"I'd say your workaholism is in an advanced state, son," Carson said. He smiled at his friend. "Go on, now. The place won't crumble if you leave."

To his credit, Itzhak didn't raise any protest about leaving. After promising Shadow he'd come by to check on her later, and after assuring Carson he'd do something _fun_ in his off-hours, he calmly left.

-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-

When Elizabeth arrived to see Carson she had been pleased, albeit somewhat surprised, to learn that Shadow was now occupying a regular bed in the main part of the Infirmary. A redheaded nurse named Rachel Smith had directed her to a curtained-off area where she'd found Carson keeping watch over the deaf woman. Shadow looked markedly better than she'd been a few days ago, the last time Elizabeth had physically seen her. She was obviously still sick, but now she only looked like someone with a particularly nasty cold as opposed to someone with a life-threatening illness.

Carson talked eagerly about the progress he and Itzhak were making with the immunotherapy, when Elizabeth asked him about it. He was satisfied with the continued improvement of Shadow's general health, too, and told Elizabeth that if everything kept going the way it should, he expected Shadow to recover with very few negative effects. Elizabeth was glad to hear that. Shadow had been through a lot already, and the last thing the young woman needed was to suffer any sort of long-term problems associated with her illness.

Elizabeth was particularly intrigued when, at one point in their discussion about Shadow, Carson had mentioned Itzhak's idea about teaching Shadow how to sign. According to Morin's journal, Morin and Danai had engaged in a similar discussion when they'd discovered Shadow was deaf.

A form of sign language existed on Morin's home planet, but the scientist didn't know how to do it. Danai was the one who had suggested Shadow should learn to read and write. Morin had taught her the language of their adopted world. Danai had taught her Ancient. Since Shadow had been created to resemble the Ancients, it was Danai who'd won the argument about which language she would most often use.

Upon first reading about that in Morin's journal, Elizabeth had been disinclined to like Danai's overbearing attitude, but in retrospect, she was glad Shadow's 'first' language was Ancient. She might not have been able to communicate with the Atlantis people at all if she'd only known the dialect of the former natives of M4X-382.

Elizabeth was of the opinion that if Shadow wanted to learn sign, and there was someone in Atlantis who could teach her, there was no reason she shouldn't be able to do so. Realistically, however, Shadow would still have to use written language to converse with most people. Not everyone would have the inclination or the time to learn a new method of speaking that was not relevant to the success of the overall mission.

In light of that, Carson suggested someone ought to teach Shadow how to read and write English. If she needed to rely on the written word, it ought to be something that everyone in Atlantis would understand without difficulty.

Elizabeth considered Carson's idea as she took the doctor's place next to Shadow. She'd offered to sit with the deaf woman for a while so Carson could get a bit more work done before Dr. Eriksson came to relieve him for the night.

She wondered if Shadow had the capacity to learn a new language. She'd seemed bright and curious, but Elizabeth knew that wasn't necessarily an indicator of a person's ability to be taught. Only time would tell, she decided.

Elizabeth glanced down at Shadow. She'd thought the young woman had been nearly asleep just before Carson left. Now, Shadow was wide awake again and she was agitated, almost as if she hadn't wanted Carson to go.

"It's all right," Elizabeth said to her. "You're safe with me."

Shadow stared at Elizabeth in her intent, unwavering fashion, as if she were afraid to look away. Elizabeth wasn't sure what she should do. She lifted Shadow's hand between both of hers. Recalling the uncanny image of Shadow beign soothed by a lullaby she could not hear, Elizabeth tentatively began to sing.

_You are my sunshine, my only sunshine…you make me happy when skies are grey…_

"Elizabeth…?"

Elizabeth hadn't heard anyone approaching and she was so startled by the sound of a voice behind her that she immediately stopped singing. Inexplicably, she felt embarrassed that anyone should hear how off-pitch she was. She shook her head. Her off-key singing was such a trivial thing to be concerned about, especially considering all the more pressing worries she'd associated with the man who had just called her name.

She turned slightly so she could see the person who had come up so quietly. Radek stood awkwardly at the edge of the partially-opened curtain. He seemed a little flustered, as if he'd witnessed something private. She tried to imagine how the scene might look from his point of view, and concluded that perhaps he had wandered into the middle of a private moment. She couldn't prevent the smile that pulled at the corners of her mouth when that thought occurred to her. This was the first time in her life when she genuinely didn't mind the intrusion.

"Hi," she said.

"I…I didn't know you were—" Radek stammered. He took a faltering step backwards. "I'll come back later."

"It's okay," Elizabeth said. "You should stay. You need to be here."

Radek stood motionless for several moments, neither turning to leave nor stepping beyond the edge of the white drape. After a long silence he said, "I didn't know you could sing."

"I can't, really."

"I liked it."

"I like your singing better than my own. I'd love to hear that lullaby of yours again, and I think Shadow—" Elizabeth stopped mid-phrase. Holding out her hand to Radek and beckoning him forward, she amended, "I think your daughter would like you to sing it, too."

**TBC  
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	31. Lost And Found

**DISCLAIMER – **_Stargate: Atlantis _is the intellectual property of MGM/UA and associates. I am making no money from the writing of this story. It is a work of fan fiction and no copyright infringement is intended.

Shadow and Dr. Itzhak Perlman are my original characters. If you'd like to use them, just ask. I nearly always say yes.

**RATING – **This story is rated **T**

**ARCHIVE – **If you want to archive this story, go right ahead! Please let me know where it's going, though. Thanks

**A/N – **Once again, I'd like to say thank you to everyone who left me some feedback for the previous chapter. I appreciate it very much, as I always do. Chapter 31 is a bit shorter than some of the previous ones, but I'm pretty sure it turned out okay. I hope you all like it. Enjoy!

Anything in _«double-angle quotation marks» _represents something written in Ancient.

Any blocks of text written in present tense and _italicized_ are flashback scenes.

I have no beta. All mistakes are mine.

* * *

**The Song Of Silent Rivers**

**31. Lost And Found**

If Shadow had not been awake, she would have said she was in the midst of a dream.

She could scarcely believe the evidence of her own eyes when she saw River Man standing near her bed. She'd watched him converse with the Leader for a few minutes, anxiously wondering what the Leader might be saying to him. She calmed a little when she saw the Leader beckoning to him. Then, blessedly, the Leader had released her hold on Shadow's hand and had gotten up from her place on Shadow's bed. The two had spoken for a little longer, and finally the Leader had gone away.

Shadow reached toward River Man with trembling fingers. She wanted to touch him, to make sure he was real and that she truly wasn't dreaming after all.

When his hand curled around hers, she clung tightly to it for a moment before easing her grip and turning his hand over. She made the sign for writing, drawing her forefinger gently over his palm. He smiled fondly at her as if he had known she wanted to speak with him. She pointed to the little table where the black-haired healer had left writing instrument and paper.

The two healers had written messages for her, but she hadn't wanted to communicate with the men. She had developed a healthy apprehension of the healers, because they always seemed to be poking her and doing odd things to her and moving her from place to place. Still, if she had to choose between the two healers and the Leader, she would have chosen the healers.

Shadow did not doubt that the Leader was a strong and wise woman, but that did not make her presence a comforting one. When the Leader held her hand, it was akin in Shadow's mind to being consoled by one of the village Elders. The Elders would not keep watch over a sick person because they loved her or because they were particularly trained to ease the suffering of the sick, but only because they felt it would be the appropriate thing to do.

The Leader's hands were cold, and Shadow had wanted nothing more than to pull her fingers from the other woman's grasp. She hadn't done so, and had simply allowed the Leader to imprison her hand.

Now, however, the lack of warmth in the Leader's touch mattered little, for the Leader had gone away just like the healers. River Man was here with her. Shadow's joy eclipsed her fear and confusion and all the lingering aches and discomfort from her illness. She wanted to weep and smile at the same time. She wanted to be held and to feel the resonance of a living voice. She also wanted to talk with River Man, for she had many things to say.

She watched him as he gathered the writing instrument and the paper from the place where the black-haired healer had placed it. His slender hand moved deftly as he composed words on the page.

_«I am glad you are getting well again,»_ he wrote. _«I was afraid.»_

_«As was I,» _Shadow confessed. _«I was afraid I would join the spirits of the Ancestors. When I was alone on my world, sometimes I wished to join the Ancestors. Since I came to this place, I do not.»_

_«I am glad you wish to live.»_

_«Yes. I wish to live because I would be sad if I were parted from you and the others,» _Shadow told him. _«I knew you would return.»_

_«I never left you, Shadow. It was only that I could not reach you where you were.»_

_«You can reach me now.»_

_«Yes.»_

Shadow reflected on that. Time had lost all meaning for her when she'd been in the room with the glass wall. Unable to see the sun or the sky, she had not been able to tell when it had been morning or evening. She might have spent days in there, weeks, or months. She had resented the clear wall that separated her from the outside world and she disliked that she did not know how long she'd been in there, but it all seemed irrelevant, now. There was no more barrier. River Man could reach her, and she could reach him.

She gazed at River Man for several moments, feeling as if her view of the universe had finally righted itself after a seeming eternity of disorder. Though she was assured by that, things remained of which she needed to be certain.

She grasped the writing instrument and inscribed carefully, _«What will happen to me when I am well?»_

_«You may stay in Atlantis with me if that is your wish,» _River Man told her. _«You do not have to leave this place.»_

_«I wish to stay with you.»_ Shadow wrote. _«If this is your home, it is my home also.»_

_«My home is far away.»_

_«I wish to stay with you. Where does not matter.»_

River Man's response to that was something Shadow did not anticipate. He wrote, _«Where matters very much to me.»_

_«Why?» _Shadow wanted to know.

_«My family is on my world.»_

_«Am I not here on this world with you?»_

_«Yes,»_ he acknowledged. _«Yes, Shadow, you are.»_

_«Do not be sad. Some day we will go to your world together, as you promised me before.»_

_«You did not forget.»_

_«I could not forget your promises,»_ she assured him. _ «I wish to rest now. I am tired.»_

_«I will stay with you.»_

Shadow smiled, for she had expected nothing less. She wrote one last request before relinquishing her writing instrument.

_«Please sing to me, River Man.»_

He nodded his understanding as she gave the paper and writing instrument to him. He placed them carefully on the small table beside her bed. Then, just as he had done before, many days ago, he gathered her in his arms and held her as close as her father would have done. She let herself relax against him. When she felt the beginning of the song, she closed her eyes. For the first time in many days, she was not afraid to sleep.

-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-

Singing Dušana's lullaby again made Radek think of home.

He'd contemplated Earth often since he'd come to Atlantis, sometimes with a nebulous sense of wanting to return, but lately his desire to go home had become sharper, more well-defined. Now, cloaked in semidarkness with the last notes of his cousin's song echoing in his head, the feeling sharpened into a point that felt tangible enough to pierce his heart. He drew Shadow a little closer and lowered his head so that his cheek rested against her hair. She sighed, and so did he, though hers was a sound of deep contentment he could only wish for.

He'd never felt so homesick in his entire life; so inexplicably lonely. The feeling did not make sense, especially considering Shadow's nearness and the glimmer of promise his short conversation with Elizabeth had given him. He told himself he should have been happy, or at the very least, hopeful.

Elizabeth had stayed long enough to hear him sing. He hadn't been able to summon the will to sing Dušana's lullaby in front of her. It had felt too personal, too closely tied to his dearest memories to share with someone who was not family, so he'd sung something else for her instead. The Czech nursery rhyme he'd shared with her was about a mother mouse who cooked porridge for all her babies. Elizabeth had laughed when Radek translated it for her. She'd said it was cute. Radek told her it made him think of Babička, who'd used to recite it for him and Milena when they'd visited her each summer.

Elizabeth had smiled when he told her about staying at his grandmother's house. She'd said she'd like to hear about his childhood summers in the country. He would tell her about it, he'd assured her, but not tonight. He wasn't in the mood for storytelling. Elizabeth had said she understood.

They would talk later tonight, if Elizabeth was still awake when Radek left the Infirmary. Radek had the distinct impression Elizabeth would wait up for him, even if she was tired. _We can go to our usual spot_, she'd said. Their 'usual spot' was a balcony near the far western end of the city. It was an out-of-the-way place, and offered an excellent view of the sunset if one went there at the proper time. They'd watched many sunsets there during the past two years.

Radek had always felt at ease there, or at least as comfortable as he ever felt in this city surrounded by water. Tonight, however, he knew the 'usual spot' would take on new qualities for him. The measure of peace he often found there would be absent.

Talking to Elizabeth would be hard, not only because he'd been avoiding her for the last several days, but because the nature of what they needed to discuss was difficult in itself. Radek remembered Colonel Sheppard's advice about how he couldn't ignore problems. He had to remind himself that important conversations were rarely easy, but that a person often gained valuable insight by seeing them through to the end.

-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-

"_What is so important that you couldn't tell me until Mir left the house?" _

_Radek watches his sister lean forward a little as she asks him this question. They are in Milena and Mirek's den. Milena sits in her husband's chair, the worn leather one that used to belong to Mirek's father. Radek can't stop his mind from wandering back in time to when he and Mirek were little boys and the chair had occupied a corner of the Dvoraks' living room. Radek and Mirek had climbed all over it, pretending it was a rocket ship and that they were cosmonauts flying to the moon. Four-year-old Zdeněk is the one who jumps on the old chair these days. Radek wonders who his nephew pretends to be when he plays. _

"_Do you know what 'classified' means?" Radek says. _

"_Radek, my husband is in the military. Of course I know what it means," says Milena. "Now, really, what is this about? First you ask me to sign some sort of legal paper and now you're asking me whether I understand 'classified'. Are _you _involved with the military?" _

"_United States government," he tells her. _

"_America?" She narrows her eyes at him, giving him the look that makes him think she can see directly into his brain and glean it for information. "That last trip you took wasn't to Antarctica, was it?"_

"_Yes, I was really in Antarctica, but I'm not going back there. This time, I'm going somewhere much farther away than that." _

"_Where?"_

"_Another galaxy." _

_Milena laughs. "Radek, if this is one of your jokes—"_

"_It's not a joke, Milena. It's real, I promise," Radek says. "You signed the non-disclosure agreement and you said you wanted me to tell you everything. Now, I'm telling you." _

"_But…another _galaxy_?"_

"_I know it's hard to believe. Maybe I'd better start from the beginning."_

"_Yes, maybe you should," Milena says. _

_She settles into the chair and folds her hands on her lap. Now, it is Radek's turn to lean forward in his spot on the sofa. He knows how outrageous his explanation is going to sound to his sister but he begins to talk anyway, eagerly, because the prospect of this new job he's been offered is the opportunity of a lifetime. Uncle Jaromir's clever string-pulling to help him get a position at the university pales in comparison to exploring the Lost City. He tells Milena all that he's allowed to say about Antarctica, the Stargate, the Pegasus galaxy and Atlantis. _

_He watches his sister's face for her reaction. She started out wearing an expression of frank incredulity, but as he has continued to speak, her scepticism has transformed into amazement. He can see curiosity and wonder shining in the blue-green eyes that are so much like his own. _

"_Have you told Mother about this?" Milena asks when Radek has finally finished his narrative. "Have you told Dušana?" _

"_I've told Mother," Radek answers._

"_What did she say?"_

"_I'm not sure she believed me," Radek says. He smiles, rueful. "I don't blame her. It is a bit fantastic, isn't it?"_

"_I believe you," says Milena. _

"_Really?"_

_She gets up from her seat and comes to him. She sits next to him on the couch, takes his hands and looks directly into his eyes. "Really," she says. "It's amazing. I never dreamed anything like this could be possible, but it _is_, and you know what? I'm not the least bit surprised they chose you to go." _

"_Why?"_

"_Because you _understand_ things, Radek. You look past the obvious and you see what other people don't see. You know how to use your imagination and you're not afraid to dream," Milena says. She smiles. "I always believed you'd get to the stars some day. I just never thought they'd be stars in a different galaxy." _

_Radek has never heard his sister speak like this to him before. He and Milena have always had a good relationship, but he's never considered it a particularly close one. To hear her say she believes in him and what he's doing amazes him. In the past, she hadn't seemed the least bit interested in his career or his projects or his many travels. _

_Now, he sees that he had misjudged her. She'd been watching him all along, interested, but perhaps unable to find a way to express it. This revelation makes him look at her in a new way. He'd started out telling her about the Pegasus galaxy simply because she is his next-of-kin and he'd felt informing her was the appropriate thing to do. Now, he's glad to have shared some of the details of the expedition with her. More than likely, she would not have believed the cover story created by Stargate Command, anyway, and she would worry if she knew she hadn't heard the truth. _

_Radek tries not to think about how many people will have to hear the clever explanation the SGC has fabricated; Uncle Jaromir and Dušana, his friends, his neighbour Alžbéta who'd finally worked up the nerve to ask him out for coffee. _

"_Sometimes I feel like pinching myself to make sure I'm not dreaming," he says to Milena._

"_I can understand that," she says. "When do you leave?"_

"_I'll be going to America in a few weeks. Colorado Springs," he says. " I'm not exactly certain when we'll be going…away."_

"_Do you know when you'll be coming back?" Milena asks._

"_I don't know."_

"_But, you _will_ be coming back, won't you?"_

_Radek doesn't know the answer to that question, either, but he can't bring himself to tell his sister the journey to the Pegasus galaxy might be a one-way trip. He's not entirely comfortable letting himself imagine this new adventure might take him away from Earth forever. He holds out his arms to his sister and Milena comes willingly into his embrace. Milena clings to him fiercely, protectively, and Radek holds on just as tight._

"_This is my home," he says. "As long as the people I love are here, I'll always want to come back." _

-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-

Elizabeth had taken her time getting to the westernmost balcony. She could have used some of the convenient Atlantean technology to get her there faster, but she preferred walking. It was a long walk, but that didn't matter. She needed the time to think, and besides, if she got there too soon, she might have been waiting a long time for Radek to arrive.

When she reached the doorway that led to the balcony she wanted, it occurred to her that perhaps she'd taken more time than she thought. As the door slid open, Elizabeth saw that she would not be waiting for Radek after all. He was already there, a slender silhouette framed by black ocean and blacker sky, with his face turned toward the sea.

She watched him for a moment. He was staring at the water, keeping perfectly still as he stood with his palms on the balcony rail. Elizabeth was amazed that even his normally restless hands were motionless, now. The only movement around him came from the gentle fingers of sea wind that lifted and teased his shaggy hair. Elizabeth thought whimsically that she might have envied the wind if it were an entity instead of an element.

She stepped outside and joined him at the railing. He didn't seem the least bit startled at her approach, for which she was grateful.

He didn't look at her, but acknowledged her with a simple, "Hello."

"Hi," she said. "Have you been out here very long?"

"No, not long."

"I thought I'd be here before you. I guess you didn't stay in the Infirmary very long. How's Shadow doing?"

"She will be fine," Radek said. "She's sleeping."

"What about you? Are you okay?"

"I don't know," Radek said. His attention never left the dark ocean. "Maybe this is strange thing, but even after two years I cannot get used to the idea of being surrounded by water. It still frightens me. Sometimes I wake up in the night because I dream I'm drowning."

"I didn't know that."

"Of course not. I don't tell about it, so how could you know?"

"Do you want to tell me about it now?"

"I miss being surrounded by land," Radek said.

'I think the ocean is beautiful."

"It is beautiful, but it's also powerful. Ocean is like God and deep space. We only make theories about it and we think we understand. No one really _knows_ the ocean."

"Isn't that part of what makes living here an adventure?"

"I suppose so, yes, but maybe I'm tired of adventures now." He bowed his head. When he continued speaking, his voice was quiet. "I want to go _home_, Elizabeth."

"You've been thinking about home a lot lately, haven't you?"

"Yes," he said. "I've been thinking about my family, too. My father, particularly."

"You miss him."

"I think he would have loved Atlantis," Radek said. "In his whole life, he never saw the ocean. My uncle told me that he'd always wanted to. I didn't know about that until after he died. There were so many things I didn't know about him that I learned only after his death. That is something I regret."

"I'm sorry," Elizabeth said.

She held her breath, remembering the last time she'd told him she was sorry, and how he had reacted to it. This time, however, he didn't shrink away or give her that tight-lipped, sardonic smile. He turned toward her. Even in the dim light she could see the marks of weariness on him. She wanted nothing more than to be able to soothe away the tiredness and the worry, though she had no idea how – or even if – she could.

He looked sad, but he still smiled at her and uttered a very soft, "Thank you."

Elizabeth exhaled slowly. "If you really want to go back to Earth, we can arrange it, but—"

"But…?"

"I won't lecture you," she said. "You asked me not to, and I promised myself I wouldn't. You're intelligent enough to know your own mind. It's only…if you go, what will happen to Shadow?"

"She will come with me. That wouldn't be impossible, would it?"

"I don't think it would be impossible, but it'll take a lot more time and effort to arrange than if you were going by yourself."

"Oh," he said, crestfallen.

"Bureaucracies don't move at the speed of light," Elizabeth said. "I think it's a universal law. Let me speak with the people at Stargate Command, and I'll see what can be done, okay?"

"Okay."

"Staying in Atlantis for a little longer won't be so terrible, will it? I seem to remember you being very excited about this expedition in the beginning."

"That was the beginning. Things aren't the same as they were."

"Nothing ever stays the same," Elizabeth said. "Think of today as another beginning."

"The beginning of what?"

"Your life with Shadow, for one thing. You're responsible for somebody other than yourself, now."

"Yes."

"Maybe it's the start of something else as well."

"What else?"

The _now-or-never _feeling had overtaken Elizabeth more often since she'd arrived in Atlantis than she cared to admit, and each time it did, she worried about the consequences of the choice she made. She knew she was taking a risk with what she wanted to say now, but she resolved she would do it anyway. There were only so many ways the encounter could end, and she might never have another moment like this one in which to find out.

"Us," she said.

Radek watched her in silence for a moment, looking as if he were trying to interpret the single word she'd just pronounced. It was impossible to guess what he might be thinking. He gave nothing away. Elizabeth waited, doing her best to be patient.

"No," he said at length. "We are friends, Elizabeth, but there is no 'us'. Not in the way everyone talks about us when they think we are not around to hear."

"What do they say?"

"You _know_ what they say."

"Isn't it possible that we might be able to make some of those rumours into facts?"

Again, he was quiet for several seconds. He must be choosing his words very carefully, she decided. Elizabeth caught herself holding her breath once more. She released it slowly when she felt Radek's hand come to rest on top of hers.

"Elizabeth." He said her name softly, as if he meant to caress her ear with his voice. "Please understand. I care about you very much, but I…I'm not ready to say I love you, yet. I thought I was, but perhaps it will take a bit more time."

She realized that she'd somehow expected to hear him tell her something like that. In a beautiful moment of clarity, she also realized that was exactly what she'd _wanted_ him to say, because she felt the same. She needed to go slowly this time around, needed to be sure there were no assumptions and that nothing got taken for granted.

"It's all right," she said.

"Is it?" he said. "I don't want to hurt you, but I had to tell you the truth. I couldn't—"

"Shh…it's all right…really it is." The fingertips of her free hand swept lightly over his forehead as she brushed the hair away from his eyes. "I thought I wanted to say I love you, too, but maybe I'm not ready either. I think you're right, and we have some things to work out before we get to that point."

His gaze did not stray from her face. "Are we going to be okay?"

"Yes," Elizabeth said. She gave him her first genuine smile in days. "Yes, I think we really are going to be okay."

**TBC  
--------------------  
A/N #2 – **The Czech nursery rhyme mentioned in this chapter is a real song. I found it in a collection of Czech children's songs and rhymes. If anyone's interested, I could post the Czech text of the song, but for now, here is what it says in English:

Mother mouse cooked porridge  
In a little green pan;  
She gave porridge to this baby mouse,  
To this baby mouse,  
To this baby mouse  
And to this baby mouse,  
But there was no porridge left  
for this smallest baby mouse!  
So he ran and ran and ran  
To the pantry,  
Found some sugar cones,  
And ate as much as he could.


End file.
